“I Saw a 7-year-old Walking Home and Felt So Scared for Him!” — Mom on Facebook

“One Adam Twelve, we have reports of a WWY on Springdale Road.”

“WWY?”

“Walking While Young.”

As a free-range parent, I’ve given up a lot of fears, but one fear I’ll never lose is the worry that sooner or later, one of these overconcerned parents is going to take an interest in my kids.

@BL: Love the Adam-12 reference! I’m too young to remember when it originally aired in the 70’s, but my dad introduced me to them on DVD. Now my husband and I watch them on Netflix, and we often marvel at how the times have changed. The peak into saner times is both refreshing and disheartening, by contrast.

@Paul: Yes! “Concerned people” are my number one worry about being Free Range. The idea that I might have to deal with CPS because I have faith in my child is absolutely terrifying.

Kudos to Ed in the above thread for daring to question the status quo.

Claudia needs to be waterboarded.

I think I have a pretty Free Range attitude towards parenting, but traffic is legitimately scary. In the zeal to get people to think more realistically about the actual (almost nonexistent) dangers of child abduction and the like, let’s not forget that car accidents are the leading cause of death among kids and young adults. And nowadays more people probably live in areas without sidewalks or other pedestrian amenities than used to back in the day, and there are more cars on the road, so if anything the danger to young children from car accidents is probably higher than it used to be (although it is quite difficult to find actual statistics on this that don’t focus on occupant injuries, where improved car seats have made things much safer).

“I’m sorry, not on a busy road”? Lady, this is not your decision. It’s the decision of the parents and you need to stay out of it.

And I love the poster(s) pulling for what must be the equivalent of CPS involvement. Yeah, it would be SO much better for this boy’s family to be investigated and for him to possibly be placed into foster care.

Aren’t we supposed to teach our kids to run from crazy strangers (male OR female) who follow them and talk to them? I’ll bet she was asking personal questions too. “Where do you live/ go to school? Do you play sports, etc.” All this so she could “stall” him.

When the talking doesn’t work, these vigilante parents will try getting the kid into their much safer car. When the cops show up for a potential kidnapping, their excuse will be, “But the kid was so much better off in my car than walking along the road.”

The woman should be arrested for stalking the child.

Oh, and thanks for posting all this information publicly on Facebook about where to find a young boy alone. What an ijit.

And, what CrazyCatLady said. Followed by a crazy Gladys Kravitz type and then picked up by the cops. Nice.

Two thoughts:

1) I would be surprised to find out that walking cautiously down the side of a road on a berm is statistically more dangerous than riding in a car, sidewalk or no.

2) There was a point in time that I was bullied to the point of panic attacks on the school bus. School buses may have good highway safety records, but they are certainly rife with internal hazards.

Perhaps walking home is the safest option for this kid after all.

cars – not cards – LOL

Aside from the creeper, what is with the nutcase that doesn’t let her 7 yr old son go in the front yard alone, or use a toaster??

In our area, loads of kids walk home alone and do it safely. Parents look out for them- without hovering- they do so in groups, etc. You know what the dangerous part is? The lady following the kid! We had an incident recently where a stranger approached a child and asked for name, address, etc. The kid did the right thing and ran for help. I only hope this child would do the same thing! The lady’s actions (following the child, etc) are the ones that are NOT okay or safe!

At least they eventually got to the right issue: the need for sidewalks and traffic safety. I wish all these people would spend more time pressuring their city council for sidewalks and safe roads and less trying to stop children from walking on them.

“Child services was constantly being called on us even though there were sidewalks and walk signals and more.”

“Please direct all questions and concerns to my attorney who is handling this.”

I bet you that would stop it.

We have instructed out 8 year old, who walks to and from school every day, that if anyone does something like this (follow her in a car trying to talk to her), to run to the closest house, ask for help, and call 911. Or, run home if it’s closer. My daughter would have some damaging things to say to the police about this woman following her in a car. We’ve taught her to speak to stranger (adults) and what to do if they behave inappropriately. I’d love it if that child had complained to the police about her creepy, inappropriate actions.

That woman sounds scary! I would have her arrested for being a potential kidnapper. Why else would she be stalking a child?

All of those busybodies who are concerned about children walking by themselves would go crazy anywhere else in the world. In most other countries, children walk places by themselves and it’s a normal thing. Do people in the States really believe that kids should be kept in a bubble until they are 18? How will they be expected to navigate their world when they are adults if they never had the chance as children? I always thought that the purpose of child rearing was really teaching your kids to become capable adults.

“I think I have a pretty Free Range attitude towards parenting, but traffic is legitimately scary. In the zeal to get people to think more realistically about the actual (almost nonexistent) dangers of child abduction and the like, let’s not forget that car accidents are the leading cause of death among kids and young adults.”

I totally agree. My kids bike to school daily and their biggest danger is drivers, especially distracted ones on the phone calling the police about non-existent dangers.
There’s a mom in our development who drives her son to and from school every day. She’s called me several times *concerned* because she thinks my kids “look cold” while biking. I replied by saying my kids see her son in the back of her minivan and he “looks sad and bored” and want to know if he wants to join them biking to school to cheer him up. Judgement goes both ways. I also reminded her that my kids are wearing their ski jackets and they check the Weather Channel app on my phone every morning to prepare for the weather conditions appropriately.

Honestly, I don’t think there was anything wrong with this woman politely inquiring whether the child was okay. I don’t think that’s weird or creepy or inappropriate. Now, once the kid said he was walking home from school and was fine, she should have dropped it, wished him a good day, and driven off. The continuing to follow him WAS creepy. But I don’t think kids need to overreact to strangers asking them questions, especially on a busy rode like this. There’s certainly good safety precautions like never getting in a car with a stranger or trusting your instincts if somebody seems scary or dangerous, but I don’t think there’s any reason for kids to assume that any adult slowing down their car next to them or asking them a question is dangerous.

Good thing it was a woman who stopped her. They probably would have arrested a man for doing that. I think the issue here is sidewalks, not a 7 year old walking home from school. If their home is close enough… why not?.

Lets not forget…What 7 year old behaves dangerously around roads?.

That street looks safe to me, as long as the child is walking on the far edge. And I would assume that any parent letting the child walk home would have taught him how beforehand. 🙂

I agree that it would be frightening to a child to have someone “follow him slowly” in a car. He doesn’t know her at all! And that is totally creepier than someone pulling over and asking if he is ok (acceptable, but probably not necessary!)

My boys (who walk alone!) know that if they need help, they are to yell and wave their arms and ASK FOR HELP. If they’re just walking, minding their own business, I hope other “concerned adults” would mind theirs, as well. 😛

“I’m not sure how to deal with the situation.”

TAKE YOUR MEDS.

Reading through this rant, it’s very clear a helicopter parent has developed an irrational fear of seeing children “unattended”. This is completely irrational. What most disturbs me is that others go along with this crazy non-sense and build her up that she did the right thing. She is creating a nuisance and her FB friends should cower under rocks for giving her facebook balls to press on with police. She was probably texting and driving to boot. If she were concerned AT ALL for this kid, get off the smart phone and pay attention to the road.

Chances are, this child (and how can she tell the age just by sight?) has discovered that it is faster and more efficient to walk a short distance vs. being chauffered in a very congested area stuck in the back of a car. Trying to make the 10-minute drop off/pick up window at these schools on congested roads is a nightmare. Walking short distances (especially with friends) is a such a nicer option. The sight of it should make you smile, not induce panic attacks. FB friends need to refer her to a mental health professional.

What fb page/group is this nonsense taking place at.

Wow, so that grassy area of at least 3 feet can’t be considered a sidewalk? Not having a sidewalk is when there’s nothing…just road and nothing to walk on. Yeah, a paved path might be nice, but that looks just fine. (For the record, I grew up without sidewalks and obviously lived to tell the tale.)

I look forward to our bubblewrapped future. Sigh.

E – I finally had to opt out of my neighborhood listserv when I got annoyed with the DAILY emails over Christmas stating different varieties of essentially “A strange (poor black) man knocked on my door today and offered to rake my leaves. I called the police and the police told me that they knew who he was and that it was legit, but I still insisted that they come out and harass him (for no apparent reason). Everyone be on the look out (so that we can stop this person from attempting to make some Christmas money for his family by raking leaves). This is so scary.” (parenthesis are my editorial comments)

Did it occur to anyone how dangerous it is for a car to be creeping along (presumably much slower than the rest of traffic) on a supposedly busy road? I’m surprised she didn’t cause an accident.

If “Ed” had been the one in the car slowly following the kid, this would have been a news report about an “ATTEMPTED ABDUCTION on Springdale Rd.!!! Get the story, tonight at 10!!!”

At anonymous mom, I understand what you are saying. My take on that, is it sends the wrong signals for the child. From the sounds of it, it seems like this kid has been doing this for a while. He and his parents are comfortable with him walking to and from school. No comes some one creeping up on him in a car, wondering if he was ok. Let’s just say he isn’t paranoid, and knows not to get into the car. But what does it say to his developing confidence and self esteem? Kids are very smart at this age. They pick up on on many things, and learn from experience. Hence why we should be teaching them proper. But at that age, they are also impressionable. Now, he’s being questioned about something he knows to be alright, and he feels comfortable doing. A cop gets involved to take him home or back to the school. And chances are, the school may make a big issue of it now that a busy body “complained”.

This kid’s normal day to day life, is now being turned upside down. No doubt he is probably confused. And chances are if the school presses the parents to make sure he is no longer allowed to walk to and from school on his own, it will destroy the confidence and self-esteem he has been building for himself. All because of a busy body person, who felt FEARFUL within themselves. Just to make herself feel better about the situation she PERCEIVES is an issue, she just got the ball rolling for locked down life for this boy. SELFISH! Heart may have been in the right place, but her mind was a million miles away.

People need to start thinking before speaking and acting. Stop acting on THEIR emotional turmoil. And start thinking about what IS best for the children. NOT what THEY FEEL is best. It’s pretty obvious that when we cater to our own emotional needs, it’s not always what is best. It’s best for us, yes. But what is best for us, isn’t always best for others. Deal with the situation as it is presented in front of you. If nothing is happening, move on. Not what you think MAY happen, or the possibility of things happening. ANYTHING is possible, but not everything is probable.

This thread pretty much sums up the absurdity in the way us Americans think when it comes to the OVERprotection of kids. This thread is definite proof that free rangers have a looooooong way to go in changing this mindset.

These people need to visit the Philippines to observe how free range the kids are there and that they do perfectly fine. Then again, the crazy people in that thread would probably demand that our government impose sanctions on the Philippines until they bubble-wrap their kids like we do ours!

Another thing to consider is that this is in New Jersey, where state law requires districts provide transportation to students if they live more than two miles distant from the schools. Busing within that radius is called “courtesy busing” and is not reimbursed by the state.

This is a rule that has existed for several decades, and makes sense in the state because of its profusion of postage-stamp cities and older suburbs have the infrastructure that actually makes it possible to walk to school. Many towns have just a few homes, if any, outside of that radius.

However, within the last 10 to 15 years, I have noticed an increasing number of parents dropping off their children. In these small towns, it is not uncommon to see 50 to 75 cars idling on the shoulder of an otherwise busy street while just a few students walk by on adjacent sidewalks. The cars creep up at less than pedestrian speeds, until the drivers can finally drop off this single child at the front door. The process repeats in reverse six hours later.

Geez. Doesn’t anybody own bikes anymore?

What we need to be frightened about are those people (creepy people is a good phrase) who spend so much time thinking negatively, constantly ruminating about potential perversions, never letting go of the idea that “anything and everything” could happen (but statistically rarely does).

These people frighten me because they are both scaring children insane and teaching them to NEVER dare, never enjoy, never be independent and never learn how to handle any situations they may encounter – unless those situations are in the virtual realities of their digital game lives.

2 things should happen to people like “original poster” and her cohort of idiocy thinkers: They should be severely fined ($100 +) for disturbing a police officer during his or her legitimate duties and told in no uncertain terms to MYOB” or the second fine would be double.

@Gary,

I’m amused by the part of the link name “helicopter-parents-crash-kids-job-interviews-whats-an-employer-to-do”

The hand ringing I’ve seen in such articles on the part of employers over what to do amuses me. For my department the answer would be simple. The applicants chance of getting the job would dip to almost nothing. I’m the department softy so I would give them one chance to authoritatively tell their “driver” to go wait in the lobby.

If they couldn’t, or if they had any hesitation to do so, I would know they were entirely unfit for the job. But then the work my department does, requires an air of authority. If you can’t get someone who cares about you to do a perfectly logical thing; there is no way you will be able to jump into the middle of dispute, and negotiate a solution.

a few years ago our township tore up the sidewalks they’d installed in 1946 so the kids could walk to school without getting muddy. Now the kids need to walk on the street, right out among traffic, when they’re home. They get bus bounced so far to a central school that their bums ache by the time they get home if they sit in the back of the bus.

”

Did it occur to anyone how dangerous it is for a car to be creeping along (presumably much slower than the rest of traffic) on a supposedly busy road? I’m surprised she didn’t cause an accident.” Part of the problem also is insurance. Your car insurance is going to judge the accident caused in this situation as the fault of the back driver, not the front. If I make the light and am going the speed limit then don’t slow down and crash into this lady, it’s going to be judged my fault, even though in this case the lady was clearly going too slow in order to talk to the kid who was just walking home.

@Steve So, you never used walking to get around the town for more then five minutes and never walked along busy road you say? Because your rant about sidewalks makes zero sense.

Steve, exactly how much time do you think Pilgrims spent dodging cars during their exploration of this country to make them even remotely germane to this conversation?

Sidewalks are about pedestrian safety and not road maps to get places. The shoulder on this road looks sufficient enough that I wouldn’t worry about walking down it, but sidewalks and crosswalks are always nice when you are walking places.

When I was about this boy’s age. I was riding my bike home from school. The last block was on a busy street that was a straightest way to the interstate. It is a narrow street, the speed limit was 35 mph, and the bike path was between 6″ and 1 foot. I had to ride on the wrong side of the road to use the bike path, and was a deep ditch to my left.

One day the school bus passed me – and some bullies through books from the windows. I drove off the road and when I tried to get back on my wheel jammed and I fell into the ditch. Mr. Murphy stopped the bus and jumped down into the ditch. I was banged up but ok, my bike was not ridable. Our neighbor was leaving and saw the accident. He came over and told Mr. Murphy he would help me get the bike home and tell Mom what happened.

My parents were ticked off – mostly because the bullies went unpunished. (That is another story of extreme abuse and having to get the courts and cops involved due) Dad was done with the exisiting Hike and Bike trail. He talked to our backyard neighbor and they told all the parents that all kids walking/biking to school should cut through our back yards (Dads had put a gate between the yards because when we both moved in the kids I was the oldest at 5. The gate made us playing with each other easier.) Just be sure to close the gates.

Then the parents organized. Through pressure and petitions they got a proper hike and bike trail built through the neighborhood. The trail runs parallel to the major streets – but has about 2 feet of grass between the trail and the street. It is an extra wide side walk where you can easily ride a bike past a pedestrian walking the opposite direction. It hooks up with Memorial Park’s Hike and Bike trail.

http://goo.gl/6tZRGd

Hope the link works. This is where the accident happened and a view of the hike and bike trail. the street was the same width but didn’t have a curb, instead went into the grass and deep ditch were the sidewalks now are.

@Steve
“If most people wanted sidewalks, they would be installed because of the uproar from the public”

There’s a big gap between “wanting” and “uproar”.

Andy said:

“@Steve So, you never used walking to get around the town for more then five minutes and never walked along busy road you say?”

I walk a lot, Andy.

That’s why I know most people in this country don’t walk much, if they can avoid it. I’ve lived in several states, large cities, small towns. I don’t know of any large city that has NO sidewalks downtown. But the fact remains, “most people” in the U.S. don’t do a lot of walking if they can avoid it.

The absence of a sidewalk LIMITS where most people “think” they can walk.

I’m just preaching against the notion that sidewalks must exist in order for a “safe route” to a destination to exist. That’s just not true.

I walk on sidewalks. Sometimes I walk in the street when traffic is non-existent, or if I think it’s safe. I walk beside a road if I can stay a safe distance from traffic. But “safe distance” obviously means different things to different people since most people have no problem walking on sidewalks VERY close to vehicles that could easily drive up on the sidewalk and crush them to death. (I rarely use “painted” bike lanes when I’m biking because paint will not prevent a car from killing me.)

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Donna said…

“Steve, exactly how much time do you think Pilgrims spent dodging cars during their exploration of this country to make them even remotely germane to this conversation?”

Seriously, Donna? My point was that “obviously” the early settlers came to America WITHOUT the “instructions” and “guides” people today think are necessities. The early settlers walked wherever they felt like walking.

You said:

“Sidewalks are about pedestrian safety and not road maps to get places.”

Yes, I agree — sidewalks are not road maps! And YES! Most people “equate” sidewalks with instant safety. But, many people also seem to think of sidewalks like streets on a map. If a sidewalk doesn’t exist, then they won’t walk that way.

The absence of a sidewalk does not mean “unreasonable danger.” It only means, “I’m not used to walking where there are no sidewalks because I “don’t FEEL comfortable.”

People aren’t comfortable doing “The Unfamiliar.”

As WSUSara said in her comment: ” 2.) This didn’t happen on such a picturesque little street. It is a fairly busy street with wide gravel shoulders — so still little danger — but it is highly traveled and there isn’t any grass, much less such a bucolic scene.”

Notice what she said — It’s NOT “a picturesque litte street.” It’s a “busy street.” This street has “wide gravel shoulders,” which to me means a “safe place to walk.” (and she thought so, too.) There “isn’t any grass.” Not a “bucolic scene.”

So…

Picture a pedestrian who WILL walk anywhere he wants to go, an individual who doesn’t need a bucolic setting with grass and sidewalk to FEEL safe.

Now…

Picture the average pedestrain who will “not” walk somewhere unless there is a sidewalk.

Which one has an internal map with more options for independence?

—————————————

Papilio said,

“…convenient & safe cyclepaths invite people to cycle”

I agree only that “convenient & safe cyclepaths invite people to cycle” – IF they are already walkers and cyclers to begin with. And when you compare the number of people who walk and cycle to the group who doesn’t, having those bike paths are hardly worth installing and maintaining.

I love walking and I love riding my bike. But most people just don’t.

Sidewalks have been around all my life, and they might have been “invitations” but few have embraced them.

——————————————–

BL said:

@Steve
“If most people wanted sidewalks, they would be installed because of the uproar from the public”

There’s a big gap between “wanting” and “uproar”.

—————————-

So true.

And that’s my point, if 3/4 of the people in a neighborhood showed up at a city council meeting demanding sidewalks, they could get them.

“This is what they call white people problems.” Amen lollipoplover, amen!

This is also a good part of why America has an obesity epidemic. OMG, kids are WALKING, call the cops!

SMH

FYI, much of Evesham Rd does in fact have sidewalks. I’ve driven its length more times than I can count (unless it doesn’t change names when it makes a bend right where I turn off…never cared one way or the other about that.)

@Steve, I guess we’re all agreeing most points, but I don’t think it’s unusual to prefer sidewalks and avoid (even completely) areas along busy roads without them. If there are no sidewalks, there will be no crosswalks. In the area near our home (that I mentioned before), we did not cross the busy intersection before their were crosswalks. We knew that drivers were not expecting foot traffic. Same could be said for sections of road w/o sidewalks (even if there are gravel shoulders)…drivers are not expecting pedestrians and given the amount of distracted driving (especially in sections with no traffic signals), drifting off is not at all uncommon (I witnessed this yesterday and watched how the driver overcorrected as he approached me driving in the opposite direction…fun!)

@WSUSara — nice to see your comments and I agree. Most of the anecdotes shared here are likely skewed by whomever shared them with Lenore to begin with. That’s what I always use the situations discussed here as “food for thought” rather than gospel.

The original post says: “So I put my hazard lights on and called to police and followed him slowly till I started to talk to him through the car window to stall him till police would arrive….. The officer was like ‘I think it’s ok he walking home,,,’ I was like I’m sorry not on a busy road!”

@WSUSara, nothing in the above says “I called X, who was on duty and is a friend of >husband’s name<." In fact, she calls him "police" and "officer" and chooses to argue with husband's "friend" about whether it's not OK for this kid to walk.

Seems to me that she tried to be as inflammatory and accolade-seeking as she could.

As usual E, you’re on the anti-Lenore bandwagon. Still can’t figure out why you’re here.

I read this post yesterday and mentally parked it as ‘more to think about’ in my head. While driving my son to school (we live in super-rural country – the nearest gas is a 15 minute drive…nearest school is double that. Approaching the school I see two young boys walking themselves happily to school – one of them practicing his balancing skills on a concrete barrier that was on the shoulder. I’d place their ages at, or around 8 and 10. There are no sidewalks anywhere here. The road speed averages 40mph, though you’re “supposed” to slow down when approaching the school, these boys were outside the school zone still. So, I couldn’t help reflecting on your article and how, if some city-busy-body-matronly-type drove by she would immediately see the worst and speed dial some official to check things out. Especially when you consider the ‘convenience’ store across the street from the school that has many “men” (and women) parking to grab a cup of coffee or donut for their commute to town.
It’s funny how both sides shake their heads at the other. Us ‘country folk’ are proud of our independent, strong, resilient and resourceful kids and are absolutely puzzled by the coddling and smothering we see happening in town. Town folks are a fiercely protective and scary bunch (so it seems) – seeing the worst in everyone and everything and plastering a fake smile on their face while their insides are shaking, with a strong desire to tattle to any authority figure over any infraction.

Ed is the voice of reason. I have often been that lone voice of reason and felt ganged up on when it comes to facebook arguments. Have had to block or unfriend people over it. Don’t get me started.

That road has a huge grassy area that is perfectly safe to walk on. Not like roads with zero shoulder. I could understand if the road was like that her concern, but this road has a huge shoulder.

I walked to school when I was 7. We don’t have sidewalks or signals in our city (by design). All the kids walked or rode bikes to school. Nobody ever got hit or kidnapped.

The only pedestrian I ever knew who was hit was in the next town over. In a crosswalk. At a signal. With a WALK sign!

Do your cars in America regularly veer off the bitumen road and onto the grassy areas? But are magically stopped by the cement of side-walks?

Around here we largely don’t have sidewalks, but we also largely do not have people randomly veering onto the large grassy patches beside the road trying to mow down pedestrians. Side-walks would not make walking around these parts any safer.

When I read the story I thought it was one of those sort of areas where there is road, then no where safe to walk (so, in the tropics for example, the sides of the road are usually ditches. No where safe to walk).

I originally started to post a follow-up to WSUSara on Monday, and thought better of it, but now I wish I had.

Two points to make. WSUSara… I don’t doubt your contention that the story/thread was edited. It would be interesting for those of us here if you could provide and unedited version since you have access to the complete thread on Facebook (please remove names/etc for privacy of the participants, but I would love to see the complete context of the conversation). This is a sincere request, and I feel the context of the complete conversation is important in the larger issue of free range vs. helicopter parenting as a societal issue – there will ALWAYS be people who are going to do extremely “wrong” things from the any perspective. What really matters is how the community responds to these requests.

I’m discouraged that the police officer and the school appear to have capitulated to the idea that the student was in danger – at least as far as we can see from the comments that were posted here.

As to the photo accompanying the story and the makeup of Springdale Road, I would guess that the person who forwarded the Facebook thread also sent the photo to Lenore.

The way that WordPress formatted the photo (shot out of the front windshield of a car) does appear to make the road seem somewhat less busy than it usually is, but if you click through to the complete, original photo, it is a very good representation of Springdale road at that point along its route – about on par with the Google Maps street view photos of the same segment. It shows a road with two main traffic lanes (one in each direction) a wide asphalt shoulder to the right, with a wide grassy area beyond that. In the other direction, there is a main traffic lane and a right turn lane adjacent to a sidewalk – no shoulder, and only a 6-inch concrete curb separating the turning lane from the sidewalk.

I think that the description of the road from Sara is incorrect. The road DOES indeed have an asphalt shoulder on the side the child was walking on – not gravel – and there IS a wide grassy area adjacent to the should for MOST of the distance between Morris Drive and the Holly Ravine shopping center. It is true that there are two segments where there is no grass to walk on, but they are brief and total (by my google maps calculation and recollection of that road) less than 100 yards of the total distance.

I’d really love to understand the context of the original Facebook conversation for the reasons I already stated, but after consulting with friends of mine who still live in the immediate area of this incident, this is NOT a dangerous stretch of road for pedestrians.

Yes, it is busy. Yes it might not be the most friendly in terms of sidewalk construction (sidewalk only on one side of the road), but it is flat, it generally has enough clearance for safe walking adjacent to the road and it has very good sight lines for drivers to be able to see and be aware of pedestrians.

@Beth, I have no idea what was on the FB group obviously. I think it’s good to know (and should be welcomed by this audience) that many other people responded as everyone here has…that the women’s reaction (and method of sharing — I’m not even sure why she would share it honestly) was extreme and unnecessary. If the community that is the FB group had lots of people saying it wasn’t the kind of risk she’s suggested, that’s a good thing.

@E, thank you for your very thoughtful post. I feel like I understand your viewpoint better now than from other posts that made it seem like you only visit this site to find something to pick apart. I apologize for my assumptions.

This worries me because I have a 7 year old who also walks to school. W actually love too far away for her to walk the whole way, but I drop her off before and after school about 8 minutes walk away and she walks to the same place to meet me in the afternoon. She has to cross maybe 4 side roads but no major roads, and it is a straight walk with no corners or turns. It is really important to me that she does this because a) it’s a bit of exercise and outdoor time b) it’s a great way to get her body and mind ready for school and c) it,s good thinking dreaming time. One lovely mother (and I say that with sincerity) has already offered to drive her to meet me so she doesn’t have to work. I really really hope it doesn’t go further than this.

I live in Australia, btw.

@Warren: I know, right? For years, we’ve had a problem with suburbanites who come here talking about the wonders of small-town life, and the first thing they do is put up a giant privacy fence and disappear behind it when they aren’t at work. Or they don’t bother with a privacy fence because nobody ever sees them on their lawns–as soon as they get home, the entire family jumps into Electronicaland with a break for dinner. And if you suggest that maybe their kids might like to ride around downtown on their bikes with your kids, they talk about safety, by which they mean mad snatchers, not helmets and traffic. And don’t even get me started on the Coast Guard moms who never, but NEVER, leave the base except to go from their cars into a building and back to their cars again, because going on a hike would mean being eaten by a bear.

This is a good example of a woman who is a product of conditioning by TV writers. This really is a serious problem. Narcissistic mothers conditions by decades of watching cop shows or other types of TV that subtly conditions people to think that the stories writers create for their jobs every week are in fact real and the weekly portrayal of these stories makes people think this stuff happens every day. What she is doing is called projection. She needs therapy. I think there should be a busybody law, where anyone who calls police out of pathological projection should be fined, forced to pay for the cost of the police response, banned from having cable for a year on first offense and forced to undrgo therapy for 5 years.

@Warren and Jenny Islander – gosh, the Western world must share many things in common! A real estate agent in one of the small towns local to where I grew up was complaining about pretty much the same thing – people moving out of the city for small town living, and then complaining people are nosy when they ask for the details of your life. Whaddya think happens in small towns? People mind their own business? :-).
And those wonderful folk who buy a ‘lifestyle block’ so they can experience the peace and quiet of the countryside, and then whine when the dairy farmer next door milks at five a.m. (as he has done for the past thirty years). Or the pig farmer carries out his regular business..Or, my personal favourite, the vineyard owner who got taken to court for ‘visual pollution’ for daring to cover his vines in red netting (as well as bird protection, the red helped with some facet of grape-growing, I forget what)….

Some people should be confined to city limits.

Oh! On a less depressing note, there was that one person who tried to report the neighbor for bringing down his property values, because he moved in next door to a commercial fisherman who was well enough off that he could own a great big lot where he could store his equipment without having to rent storage somewhere else. They’re called crab pots, genius.

It got all the way to the Borough Assembly, probably for the lulz, because people laughed about it for weeks.