Dearest tkbseyaftr
Readers — I have been thinking of what to say about this new product but frankly, my jaw just keeps going slack. Ditto my sarcasm skills. So here goes, from the website Baby Sounds 4 Pets (http://www.babysounds4pets.com/ ):
I have 2 passions in my life,my pets and becoming a mother. Three years ago while my sister was expecting her first child, I was looking for a CD of baby sounds to prepare her two dogs and cat for the arrival of my nephew. I couldn’t find one ANYWHERE!
So I decided to create BABY SOUNDS FOR PETS! THE FIRST CD OF IT’S KIND!
BABY SOUNDS helped my sister,and many couples,prepare their anxious pets for the sounds of a new baby in their home. It is preparing my chihuahua ‘FRED’ for our first baby this year
It’s a CD of gurgling, cooing and, of course, WAILING.
I’m sure that once Chihuahua Fred has heard pre-recorded wailing for a few weeks, he will be very eager to meet a live creature who does the same, often in the middle of the night.
Meantime, I’m trying to think just how smart a pet would have to be to be “anxious” about its humans’ impending parenthood. Has he been staring at the sonogram on the fridge with furrowed brow? That’s some pooch!
Anyway, this is not totally a Free-Range issue, but it does have a certain resonance because once again — this time with pets instead of children — we are imagining that there’s no way they could possibly just adjust to life as it comes at ’em. No, they need pampering, preparation, and of course products.
So much for rolling with the punches.
Even the very species known for rolling. — Lenore
42 Comments
When we brought the twins home for the first time, our two dogs did act distressed by the babies’ crying–initially. After a day or do, the dogs stopped whimpering and pacing at each cry, and within a few days they completely adjusted to the new routine.
Even if I had known the dogs would be so anxious initially, I can’t imagine PLAYING A CD FOR THEM with the goal of preparing them. Have you ever talked to your dog over the phone? They’re totally confused by objects that play sounds they associate with BEINGS. Hearing a baby’s cry without an actual baby to associate it with MAKES NO SENSE.
Kudos for the entreprenuerial spirit; chortles at the specific offering. Yowza.
This is as bad as the kneepads for babies.
While I only have cats (so far), I think the most important thing to do with your pets when a new child arrives is to be sure to keep spending time with them just as you did before. We don’t ignore child #1 when child #2 arrives, so pets are exactly like children in that regard. But — newsflash! — they’re not exactly like children in ALL ways.
Nothing like a little anthropomorphism, hmmm?
haha, this hits a nerve for me too. Instead of donating resources to charities or sponsoring a local child, I get riled up when people spend HUNDREDS or THOUSANDS of dollars on their pets. Of course, I am not only referring of celebrity pets, but also in my (relatively) small town in the Midwest, people will pay hundreds of dollars a WEEK for “doggy day care” including but not limited to: pizza and a movie (I kid you not, they watch Bethoven!), pool time, and (get this) a NATURE WALK.
NATURE WALK!
I really have nothing else to say, I just can’t make this stuff up! 🙂
Sarah M
So basically they’re torturing the poor pets with recorded baby screams before the animal has to endure actual baby screams. What’s the point? To stress the pet out sooner? or to gauge whether Fido will try to maul the scream maker? Perhaps I’ll write a book, or better yet, record a movie, detailing ways in which to prepare your pet for when baby is crawling with chapters devoted to pinching the doggy, poking eyes, pulling tails, stealing food and toys, etc. so that all the pets can be better prepared.
A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Oh, I just cannot stop laughing. I applaud any company that can find people who will buy such a thoroughly stupid product. Seriously.
Eh- I can sort of see your point- but you obviously have never met a dog with anxiety. It’s not that the dog knows a baby is coming and is looking at sonogram pics and what not, but loud noises can cause anxiety in some dogs. Our dog is anxious about thunderstorms and the dishwasher. He goes crazy over those noises- barking and running around and digging at the floor and chewing on whatever he can find- and no amount of soothing or playing or distracting will help. Laugh if you want, but our vet put him on an anti-anxiety pill and now although he still gets a little crazy, we are at least able to soothe him. It’s a world of difference.
Luckily our dog could care less about baby noises, but I can see it being a useful tool if you are trying to train your dog to be calm around that noise.
Yeah, my beagle knew I was pregnant. I can’t say she was anxious, but she sensed/smelled hormonal changes and WOULD NOT LEAVE ME ALONE. It was awful. An anxious pet would be hell, but how would playing it baby sounds help at all?
How would the sounds of wailing babies help anyone?
It’s a valid concern. My cats did not like the disruption of the new baby when he arrived. So upset that they started some destructive behaviors that they’d never had before. They didn’t know what to make of the screaming and yelling either, and would run and hide whenever our colicky little boy came in the room. That being said I think the sounds are different enough that a recording might not help. Then again I’ve seen plenty of cats who love those ‘birds on the TV’ videos, so maybe there is something to it.
CrossGirl, your book would actually not be a bad idea! Physically playing with your dog, including gently(!) pulling their ears or tail could help it to desensitize. Our dog had a thing about getting his paws touched (make trimming nails a royal pain) and we used this approach to get him used to it.
Of course, that dog was a bit nuts, so we made sure that our our daughter stayed away from him and she (at almost 5) is still very aware of his personal space – and while she’s not afraid of dogs, she knows to properly ask owners about letting her approach their dogs.
Our second dog is totally the opposite – you could pull her her ears, poke her eyes and she would just give you a bored look (and steal your lunch if you weren’t looking).
But yeah, the CD sounds pretty much useless. But it’s a brilliant idea and I wish I had thought of it first! 🙂
My understanding is that for anxious dogs, you can desensitize them to the sound by playing the sound softly at first and then gradually louder over time. I think some people do ridiculous things for their pets, but this one makes some sense to me.
Not that this excuses this silly product, but pets do know when you are pregnant, and sometimes they do get anxious. They can smell the hormone changes; sometimes it makes them more affectionate, and sometimes… not.
A friend’s otherwise normal cat got extremely violent during her pregnancy. Eventually she was able to calm it down using Felliway. I don’t think baby sounds would have helped, though.
Now that is stupid. When I was bringing home children for my beagle, I would just have my husband let her sniff the hat while giving her treats.
Then, she would come home, sniff the kids and I would give her contraband while she was being nice about it.
Then she got everything the kids dropped or flung during mealtimes and I would let her lick the more challenging to wipe foods off the kids faces.
My dog LOVES the kids. Of course, my dog is also kind of fat, but we love her anyway.
Hi! This is my first visit to your site, and I’m really enjoying the reading. I struggle with the free-range thing, but I think we’re doing okay. My daughter loves walking sticks…she’s three. And when she takes off running with that stick, I have to bite my tongue to keep from screaming, “No running with sticks!” I mean, for goodness sake, sticks and rocks are some of the best toys out there!
Oh. My. Gosh.
That is just crazy. I can’t imagine playing a CD of baby sounds for my pets. Even if I thought it might help them (it won’t), I think it would probably drive me nuts.
Zoiks!
I am amazed at what pet parents (yes, they call themselves that!) will do.
Now, I did want to prepare my pet for the baby’s arrival — but for my sanity, not hers. The best suggestion I got was to get baby items, like toys and the bouncer, and reward the dog for behaving properly around those items.
Also, sounds like maybe this person watched Lady and the Tramp a little too much — remember how Lady was shoved out during Darling’s pregnancy and sang “What is a Baby?” — just like Toy Story makes our kids think their toys have feelings and they won’t throw or give them away.
Then again, maybe this woman is just a really savvy marketer and is laughing all the way to the bank.
I’m just trying to get over the fact that the pet CD woman doesn’t know the difference b/t its (pronoun) and it’s (contraction for it is). Grammar is truly dead, here’s another nail in its (note spelling) coffin.
My dog totally knew I was pregnant too – he wouldn’t let strangers come near me at all.
ANd good luck spending the same amount of time with your pets when you have a human baby. My very spoiled cat got very neglected when I had a high needs baby, and hated him. She’d pee on his clothes if they were left in a laundry basket etc.
That said, nothing could have prepared her to be second place, except her owner being sane.
Just following on from what Sarah M was saying above (about people spending ridiculous amounts of money on their pets), there was a fantastic episode of This American Life on this very topic about a year ago. This story would have fit really well with that topic.
I have a ‘friend’ who is this obsessed with her dogs. A while ago my children and I accompanied her and her ‘fur children’ to a special off leash dog park in Sydney (which even has a cafe in it called Cafe Bones). At one point, my son expressed an interest in playing on the play equipment in the park there but my friend told him, no, he couldn’t because the dogs weren’t allowed off-leash in that part of the park (so would actually have to sit on the sidelines on their leashes for a while – what cruelty!). This woman is going to be an absolute horror if she ever has human children, I can tell. Could probably say the same for anyone insane enough to buy this CD!
Oh and we had two dogs before we had our children (including a dingo cross – we are in Australia). Both just sniffed the bassinet when we bought the first baby home from hospital and seemed completely accepting of the baby after that. (We just took care not to leave the dingo on her own with the children as she would get excited and knock them over). The relationship become even more mutually appreciative once the dogs realised what a great source of food scraps the children were.
If I did anything to prepare my pets for impending baby (aside from giving the dog away for suddenly peeing and pooping on my carpet for attention all the time, and booting the cat outside for doing the same on my kitchen counter and trying to sleep in the fresh crib) it would be this. Pull on tails, ears and feet and try poking them in the eyes and sticking my fingers in their mouth until they get used it. Grab handfuls of fur while I’m at it.
This to me is right up there with putting on the Kitties Playing dvd for a houseful of “lonely” cats.
I think the thing that people are missing here is that the product isn’t for pets – it’s for the neurotic (pregnant) owners of pets. It’s for satisfying them, not the animal (because the primary sensing of animals isn’t auditory, it’s olfactory. That’s something that humans rarely think about because compared to animals we have no sense of smell at all).
Considering that pets rarely exist to fulfil any role beyond entertaining their owners, the idea of making great provision for them, let alone treating them as proxy humans, seems entirely ridiculous to me.
I think the biggest issue with pets and new children is the behaviour of the parents. If animal’s place in the social hierarchy isn’t appropriately managed the pet can cause real problems – up to and including mauling and killing the child.
Eh. i think this one isn’t that big of a deal.
While I would NOT buy this CD, I recently DID play a bunch of free Internet sound clips of babies crying for my five cats. I’m due in like three weeks and just wanted to see how they’d react. We have a really, really quiet house (no tv) and just wanted to see their baseline.
Stuart’s right, though. Cats (and dogs) are way more sensitive to smell, so I’ll be sending home a baby-smelling thing before I come home with the kid. We have five cats, you know? Can’t piss off everyone.
“Considering that pets rarely exist to fulfil any role beyond entertaining their owners, the idea of making great provision for them, let alone treating them as proxy humans, seems entirely ridiculous to me.”
Cheers! That ´s the main reason why we don ´t keep any pets at home. That, and because I like animals (I wouldn ´t make any poor creature endure my kids).
BTW, what about protecting kids to ridiculous extents about the “truths” of life and death? It starts by lying and saying that the Rocky the hamster ran away, instead of just explaining that the rat finally croaked, and then you find yourself censoring documentaries because the lioness hunts down a cute baby antelope.
In this regard too, I think farm life really is a great school for life, as children can watch and learn about sex, giving birth, illnesses, etc. in a natural and healthy way. Yeah, kid, life is yucky. Death happens. No big deal.
Sorry if I hit a sensible spot there, but I really think that if you make a world of the hamster dying, what will you do when it ´s someone you know? Cos it will happen, you know.
I have three cats, and two fish tanks. I grew up with a dog and cats. I like pets – they add something to your life (namely hairballs and fur on your black wool coat).
But they.are.not.people. I will make sure they get their shots and checkups, but I will not spend $10,000 keeping a 15 year old cat alive on dialysis. I will not buy them new outfits for holidays. I will not spend $900 on a climbing structure for them. And I will not lose sleep over their mental health. I did nothing to prepare the cats for the kids – I couldn’t, my kids were coming adopted from another country. When the kids came home, the cats sniffed them and ran away. I figured good enough – cats want to avoid kids, therefore cats will not be near enough to scratch kids. Made sure the cats had a safe place away from the kids to retreat to and left them to their own devices. Eventually, they all learned to adapt to each other. I even (gasp) let the kids get scratched once or twice so they would listen when I said “Don’t pull the cat’s tail”
Our parents generation (in addition to letting us free range) didn’t obsess over their pets like this. The pets were not pampered and treated like people, so the pets did not get confused about suddenly not being allowed on the furniture, etc. They were expected to be on the floor or outside – being animals. If there was a problem, the dog got a doghouse outside, end of discussion. This seems to be a fairly sane approach in my opinion.
Indeed, yes, what a stupid product. How foolish of expectant parents with pets to want to reduce the anxiety of their pets over their soon-to be baby.
Sorry, you’re completely wrong here. A very common cause of injury for babies and children is dog bites. Even a very docile, friendly dog may react poorly to a new infant, being unused to creatures that act in the particular way that babys do. Experts on pets and children strongly recommend taking steps to ensure that pets are confortable with their new family members.
I wouldn’t buy a CD of crying children, but I did research on babycentre to find out what steps I could take to make it easy for my dog to know how to interact with my daughter. Some of the suggestions were obvious, others were not (i.e. swapping blankets between dog and baby to get each used to the others’ smell). 18 months later I can report that the dog and my daughter have a very good relationship. (Of course knowing our dog she probably didn’t need any preparation, but it was the right thing to do).
I enjoy your blog and agree with most of your posts, but you’re wrong on this one, sorry.
I have come to the conclusion that virtually ANY product marketed towards new parents (and some rather naive veteran parents) to “make their life with a newborn easier/make baby smarter/make mom sleep more/make your pets love baby/make the child get his college education paid for/etc.) will sell like wildfire. I am stunned at the amount of products on any baby store’s shelf, geared towards “becoming a better parent”. This is yet another example.
I don’t know how my children speak or walk upright, or even survived childhood, seeing as how I didn’t buy Einstein DVDs, tummy time mats, bed alarms, or helmets for walking. Shocked, I tell you.
But hey – supply and demand. Many of us are jealous that we didn’t think of this $3.50 idea to sell for millions of dollars. Pet rock, anyone?
Oh, and Ken, if you’re getting your information from Babycentre, you have a problem right there.
By the time any baby can get at a dog, they’ve been in the home several months, smells are shared, everyone has been living together. I have two dogs, one a rather large one, and four cats. Nary an injury to be had with four children. I don’t agree with your post at all. But hey, that’s what makes us all free.
I totally disagree with the idea that pets only exist for entertaining their humans. My cat is a part of my family, period. I don’t buy ridiculous things for her, I’m not concerned about how she’ll react towards the fact that I’m going to have a baby in a few weeks, but she is as much a person as any human. And frankly I’ve had cats be more sympathetic and caring than my own parents. If I want entertainment I’ll play a video game. If I want cuddles I’ll spend time with my cat.
Is there anyone out there doing this for under 3 year old humans? 🙂
Like, zomg.
I suppose the intentions are there however….All too often people treat their dogs like humans when they SHOULD NOT, they are pack animals and now its reversed… whats next feeding baby from the dogs dish better yet from the dog?
MOST all dogs should NOT be left with small children, the safest dogs have been known to bite.
Cats and Dogs are predators, people should never forget that; cats have been known to smother babies by lying on them. So if you feel its a good idea to leave your baby alone with them that is child abuse!
I have had pets all my life and LOVE them but one must remember children are first and must be watched when around the animals.
Stop humanizing the animals that is cruel to them, it only serves you not the animal.
(it’s an urban legend that cats lay on baby’s faces and smother them – it’s never happened). Even a newborn baby won’t let anyone or anything lay on their face without wiggling, squealing, kicking, or crying. No cat would ever lay there and not run off.
Our four cats all loved to sleep in bed with the babies. They’re so cuddly!
I have no word to thank you out of my heart. Such a considerate decision to bring out sounds to teach pets of the incoming person into the family is thoroughly thought provoking and appendable.
Thanks a lot.
I love it! This is the Pet Rock, the Jherri Curl showercap, the tamaguchi (whatever that thing was in the 1990’s that you had to remember to electronically feed or it would die) of 2009.
This is proof of the Lesser Fool. As dumb as it is to make a CD of baby sounds to acclimate pets, there are people dumber than the inventor would would actually pay money for this, and make the inventor rich.
I honestly can’t stand people who proclaim themselves, “pet parents.” Seriously, anyone that does that either doesn’t have kids or is just a flat out moron.
I grew up with animals, and I have a dog, cat, fish, gerbils, and two children currently. We have had animals die and I’ve never felt compelled to lie to my children about death – nor about the fact that eventually everyone and everything that lives also dies – that it’s part of life and why you must live life as a decent person so people remember you as such. Amazingly enough, my kids aren’t depressed. When one of my gerbils died after 4 years (and we do love them – in fact, I bred them and adore the little things), we talked about it as we buried him. We pet him for a final time, discussed what we liked most about Freddy, then said goodbye.
My animals then and now are special to me, and they are my friends, but I never lost sight of the fact that they are not people, and that people are more important. Some people find it intolerable that someone could say animals are less important – but there IS a hierarchy. If people = dogs, then dogs = spiders. They’re alive too.
Truth is, animals definitely deserve our respect as fellow living creatures – but as someone said, I won’t suffer my cat to endure dialysis when he will not comprehend why he’s in pain and suffering. When he cannot tell me whether it’s unbearable for him… and when I know that a cat prefers to die in peace (I had more than a few just want to curl up and be left alone). And to top it off, how would I feel if I spent 10 grand on my cat and the next day my son gets hit by a car and I find myself unable to afford his bills and I lose my house because of it?
Single people I can see getting attached to their animals, but what we’ve been doing with pets is unhealthy for not only us – but for the pets. More and more dogs are simply out of control and more and more people are just excusing it. My nephew was bitten in the face by my mother-in-law’s unruly dog. My father would have put the dog outside or gotten rid of it. I would have opted to put the dog away when the kid came over in the first place, knowing she was how she was. They just said, “Oh… he shouldn’t have messed with her.” (As a caveat, this dog was known to nip, snarl and growl when she got something she wanted, could jump on people, could bark constantly if she wanted, would beg at the table incessantly and be fed for her troubles… and it wasn’t her fault, but the fact she had no guidance and a complete omega dog for an owner which made her feel insecure and blah blah blah).
This CD thing… someone hit it right on the head… it’s not for the dog, it’s for the owner. If you have a nervous, scared, anti-social dog – as a responsible person – if you’re going to have a child, the job is to decide which is more important. If you KNOW your animal is like this and still opt to keep it, it needs training and desensitization in a way THEY will understand – not a friggin CD. But enough of my rambling… someone out there figured out they could use the fears of new parents to make a quick, cool million. Kudos to the capitalist spirit at its best.
Amen, Nicola.
When someone will not even consider giving up a pet in favor of a human, they lose me completely. Not that you should give up a pet lightly, or for stupid reasons (like it sheds). But if you produce an offspring that is, say, allergic to dogs, sorry, Fido has to go. If your cat gets nasty and starts slashing at the baby, then either the cat gets completely separated from the baby (even if it means precious little Fluffy has to live in the basement), or it goes.
This is the episode of This American Life I was referring to in my post above – aptly titled ‘In Dog We Trust’:
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=154
Very funny and insightful.
@Ashley – I’m not asking about how you *feel* about the cat, beyond make you happy, what does the cat actually *do*?
It doesn’t carry any of your DNA, it can’t contribute to chores or earn money. It’s effectively a permanent baby that can kill birds and cough up fur. You can give it away or even put it down – without anyone raising a brow over it (try that with a *real* member of your family).
I not saying you shouldn’t love and value your cat, but people love dolls, cars, etc. it’s not difficult to love something. That doesn’t transmute the cat into a person any more than it would a doll. There’s nothing wrong with appreciating the cat as a *cat*.
The purpose of pets in the context of children (IMO) is about teaching them how to care for living creatures (and ultimately other people). The great benefit of pets is that they have a short life cycle – many aspects of life (and death) can be experienced first hand (repeatedly) at a low cost to the child (and the parents).
@Kathi – pets should be allowed a social hierarchy between themselves, but they should always be below every human in the house. If it came down to a choice between the child and the pet the child would win every time – why treat the animal like that isn’t the case the rest of the time? It’s inconsistent.
@Sanda – Dogs are more of a problem in cases where children are mauled or killed. Still, unnecessary injury from any pet is exactly that.
@Nicola – not all of us can have children and some use animals to compensate for that. You would be hard pressed to find a person with children who still treats their pets that way – once the need is met the pet becomes irrelevant. Everyone knows of someone with a new child who has ignored or given their pet away as a result.
The point you raise of a duty of care to animals is an important one. It’s a two way street, if you get the benefits from owning the pet then you must also ensure its well being.
I couldn’t believe this cd…I wish I’d thought of it first to sell to the sheeple!
I have pets, a dog and a cat. I had a different dog when my son was born, and we did nothing to prepare her in spite of her rampant separation anxiety. When I got home with my son, I crouched down with the baby just inside the door, called both pets to me and let them sniff him at length and let the cat rub against him (marking him as her territory). It was protection at first sight for them. The dog slept under his crib or bouncer, the cat frequently slept stretched out at his side (I NEVER had to move her away from his face as she never once laid near it). When our sweet dog died, we got a puppy. He got raised with my then 2-year-old boy playing with him and tripping on him, etc. As a result, he’s very gentle and good with kids. When we go to family gatherings, they stay home (as they are animals, not people). However, one of my in-laws almost always brings her dog. This dog shies away from my son’s cousins, who play too rough and have no respect for animals, but she lets my son sit by her and pet her. Why? Because from birth he has been taught, “We’re gentle with pets. We NEVER hit an animal.” I’m raising him to be a man who understands that he has a responsibility not to use his strength to hurt or provoke others, including those others who have no words but only teeth and claws with which to defend themselves.
As far as being “mommy” to my pets? Well, just think of it this way. I never feed my son out of a bowl on the floor. I wash my son’s dishes daily. I almost never wash the pets’ bowl. I wash my son frequently. A couple of weeks go by without the dog getting a bath. My son sleeps in a bed in a room of his own. My dog sleeps in a kennel. My cat sleeps wherever she wants to (frequently the laundry basket or at my feet). I nursed my son at my breast. I fed my baby animals pet food. My son gets varied foods. My pets eat the same pet food day in, day out. See the difference? Do they all get quality health care? Yes. Do they all get regular meals? Yes. Do they all get regular affection? Yes, but my son gets the most and is obviously higher on the social ladder. I love my pets, and I’m a good pet owner. I love my son more, and I’m a good mom, not a kid owner. When I had no child? I was still a pet owner, not a pet mom.
Now I might could have used that cd to acclimate my hubby…;)
When we rought Mia home, Our dog did NOT like her crying…so he barked and barked….that made our baby cry and cry…it was a sad sort of funny cycle that they worked out THEMSELVES.
It ended up we wished our dog was a little more into Free Range thinking…when the baby would cry…the dog would run to us…back and forth as if to say, ‘why aren’t you doing anything?!?!? The baby is CRYING!!!!’
We’re expecting our second child in May…let’s see how this little tot and the same dog work out their issues 🙂
Seeing the date this was posted, I figured this had to be some kind of April Fool’s Day thing.
Imagine my horror, therefore…
Actually, our local dog trainer has been selling CDs of baby sounds for several years now. And several dog books that I’ve read recommend that you record and play the sound of a crying baby, so that your dog doesn’t freak out when you bring the baby home. Yes, eventually they will work it out. But if you can shorten that time, I think it’s worth it. Some dogs get really scared with weird noises. My little dog hid in her bed for two weeks when we got new upstairs neighbors that were very noisy. She was terrified. So I plan on playing that CD when I get pregnant. Just because dogs aren’t human doesn’t mean you can’t help them out.
I don’t have children; but my parents acquired their first dog (an extremely lively Irish Setter) seven months before I arrived, and it all worked out well. In those days, new moms spent more than one day in the hospital; so my recovering mother sent home a blanket and diapers that I had used and the dog sniffed them. He was very tolerant of me and protective, and would walk the floor with my mother when I was crying late at night.
One thing that can be done to help prepare the dog for Baby is to make sure that the dog knows basic commands such as Sit, Stay and Down.
When Baby comes home from the hospital, make a fuss over the dog as soon as possible so the dog doesn’t think he’s being ignored while everyone is admiring and caring for Baby….
Never leave an infant or small child alone with even the best of dogs.