Interesting Stories I’ve Tweeted in the Past 24 Hours

That snow question is so sad. Admittedly some can depend on the definition of record snow, but odds are it can be played in. Not during the snowstorm perhaps, but after should be fine.

As for the seventh grade football star, what an awful lot of pressure for him. What if he gets an injury that keeps him from playing later, which I gather is getting more and more common as younger athletes are pushed too hard to excel?

Lenore,

The thing is, when we visit Free Range Kids the Blog, your last five twitter posts appear on the left side of the screen. And checking earlier posts is just one click of the mouse, no sign up required. Unless there are people who signed up for the rss feed several months ago and have not visited the FRK home page in a while and don’t know about this feature yet, I think you can be sure everyone here already reads and enjoys your tweets.

P.S. Great speech in DC last week-end.

Regarding that middle school girl who was arrested: “Education department spokesman David Cantor said the incident shouldn’t have happened, and that common sense should prevail.”

So? Why didn’t it? Who called the cops, and how did they justify taking a kid out in handcuffs?

Why has she been assigned eight hours of community service? Do we just punish for the fun of it?

When she writes her mandatory essay on what she’s learned from the experience, that’ll really be something to read.

That snow question makes me what to physically harm people…

That snow question was too much – I’m glad people are letting her have it! Of course, it was a poorly written headline. Nowhere in her question does she say that snow is dangerous, just that she “personally hates it.” Well duh. I personally hate LOTS of things that my kids love (and that includes snow)! It’s a hassle dealing with the wet coats, gloves and boots afterwards. But I still let them play in it of course. And people say that Free Range parents are the lazy ones!!!

@Krolik — Personally, I found it interesting. I wouldn’t want it done all the time, but I don’t generally pay attention to the sidebar, as I don’t use Twitter (and don’t particularly care for it).

@benirleciel — I was thinking pretty much the same thing, though I was wondering how “time-out” and “Montessori” have anything to do with Bugaboos and “attachment parenting” (the article’s definition of which seems to be the opposite of what I’ve been finding on the actual idea of attachment parenting), and how the first two (and the non-twisted version of the fourth) have anything to do with hyper-parenting.

I added a Free Range answer to the snow question:
“Tell them that snowmen are on the offender list and may abduct you.”

Regarding the Writing on the Desk incident:

They could have made her clean all the desks in the class. A little hard work does make people think twice about doing things like that. Of course this day and age, it probably woud have violated some type of child labor law and then everyone in the school would have got fired.

Anyway, the point. Some punishment for this incident is acceptable, but to throw handcuffs on her is a LOT extreme. I bet they don’t even do that for kids who get in fights. Rediculous!!!

What she learned from the incident? I hope she tells them a lot more than to respect personal property and not write on desks any more.

Sadly, she learned that authority is arbitrary, power hungry and petty.

What punishment did the guy that arrest her earn? What did he learn?

Empathize with you on the column about kids and screens, Lenore. I’d be tempted to as the Scoutmaster to institute a no-gizmos rule on trips like this, but that probably makes me sound like a killjoy.

When I was the kids’ overnight coordinator for my church, we had a rule of no electronic toys at our overnights, and I implemented another rule, too: no movies, ie No Videos/DVDs. It had been a common practice to show a movie before bed, and I took the position that kids already got plenty of exposure to plug-in commercialized entertainment. We read books and did a relaxation exercise instead…

You know, I’m not a big fan of playing in the snow myself, so I don’t. But my kids still do!

It’s so sad that this woman can’t just let her kids play in the yard, she has to come up with absurd lies (at least I HOPE she knows they’re lies!) instead of saying, “You go out and play. I’ll clean the kitchen.”

Jokes, that’s good context, but none of the rest of us could have known that. We were commenting in good faith.

While I understand that some wouldn’t know a “joke” if it smacked them in the face with a snowball, I’m appalled that those of you who wanted to attack her personally failed to see the hyperbole in her question. Its a funny question people! And if those of you who jumped on the “You’re A Bad Mommy!” train would remove the proverbial sticks out of your bums, you’d admit that at some point you have all asked yourself how you can get out of doing something with your kids that is considered a “rite of passage” to childhood, but that you might not enjoy.

I also don’t see “time out” as exactly in the trend of helicopter parenting. Someone in the comments mentioned that we weren’t given time out as kids, but for me that’s not true – my mother used time out in the 70’s on me, though the name she had for it – “the ugly chair” – probably wouldn’t go over as well today (it was the behavior that was ugly, if you’re wondering).

I think the problem with time out is that it’s handed to parents by all the literature nowadays as some sort of magic cure all disciplinary tactic, which is completely absurd. Then some parents use it repeatedly on horribly behaved children and get no results so it gets a bad name. We use time out in our house whenever anyone gets really emotional (screaming, hitting, crying emotional) – it’s generally agreed we (and by we, I include myself) should take a break from each other. However, that’s really all it is – a time to reflect and collect our wits for a moment before proceeding to the actual punishment.

I don’t know if this qualifies as free range or not, but I usually try to dole out some sort of logical consequence for whatever my kids did – you broke something, you work to pay and replace it – you made a mess, you clean it up – you were nasty or rude to someone, you do something for them to make up for it, etc. etc. I would imagine that some free range parents could have very strict boundaries and rules and others might have very few – I think either could go well with the idea of fostering independent children.

But here’s a punishment I heard about that might strike many as more free range – a relative of mine punishes her kids by making them jump on their trampoline. I think the concept is if the kid has energy to do something bad, they get to go expend it outside on something more healthy.

Evil Snow Lady….It was totally wrong for people to respond so harshly. Since you’ve explained that you live someplace that doesn’t get much snow, it’s understandable that you would be worried about your kids suffering from exsposure to the cold.

I grew up in Northern Indiana and live in Chicago now. I *know* snow! I love it! I spent hours….and I mean HOURS in the cold and snow each day as a child and I never suffered any ill effects. And once I was school aged I played in the yard by myself or with neighbor kids. No adults. They were just inside if we needed them. I don’t remember my mom ever playing in the snow with me. EVER!

Now that I have two small children I’ve determined that the best thing for them is to get used to the fact that we live where it gets cold and learn to enjoy the benefits. My four year old son loves to go out in the snow now.

I don’t know how old your kids are but if they’re old enough to talk and tell you stuff like “I’m cold” then don’t worry about ’em. Just tell them that if they start to get cold, then it’s time to go in. That’s one of the best parts of playing in the cold….coming into a warm house to a warm bath and maybe some hot chocolate. And since you live somewhere that doesn’t get massive amounts of snow, this might be a rare treat for your kiddos.

Please ignore the unkind remarks you recieved. You have normal concerns and as an experienced “snow mom” I’m telling you that you probably don’t need to worry much about any major danger from being out in the snow for awhile.

For the record…I too get totally bored afer awhile being out in the cold with my four year old. He’s not old enough to be out by himself since we live on a busy road and have no fence. We stay out for as long as I can stand it then we come in, sometimes only twenty minutes or so, sometimes much longer. Usually he’s thrilled to have been out for awhile and ready to come in too, and everyone’s happy.

Regarding the “time out” thing…I agree with the poster who commented that it is just one form of discipline and is not an end-all solution. We use it along with a myriad of other things. The punishment should fit the crime. Time outs are useful when a kid is overstimulated. But when they’ve done something they know they are not supposed to do, we give an additional punishment. We also reward for good behavior. And yes, we even spank every once in awhile. It really depends on the situation. One approach doesn’t work for every situation nor every child. I think that was the point. “Time Out” has become a fad and it has been shoved down parents’ throats as the only humane and effective form of discipline, which is completely untrue.

Evil Snow Lady — if you live in a part of the world where everything shuts down for 2 inches, you don’t have to worry about healthy children getting frostbite. Period. Long before they get cold enough for anything to be damaged, like Melissa says, they will be extremely uncomfortable and let you know about it and not want to play anymore. I’m not saying it can’t happen, but in general, kids do NOT get frostbite from playing in the snow, even in Minnesota or Alaska. DO NOT FEAR SNOW. There is nothing to be afraid of. While I don’t want to be harsh, this really is more your problem than snow’s problem. You need to have a realistic idea of what harm playing in the snow can do (which is basically none in any conditions where kids would want to be playing in it, especially in your mild climate.) The world is NOT that scary.

So unless they are under 4 years old, let them go play even if you don’t want to. The worst they will get is cold and wet before they decide it isn’t fun anymore. And as Kim says, you don’t need to play with them. I rarely play kid kind of play with my kids, though of course I read to them, play games with them, etc. A couple of generations ago, neither parents nor children could have imagined a parent spending very much time sitting down and “playing” with a child more than a couple of years old, and I’m not talking about joyless childhoods, but childhoods where the kids played and the grownups went about their business.

So unless you need to supervise because they’re very young, let them play. And if you do need to supervise — do it once in a while even if you don’t enjoy it. You don’t want to perpetuate your own fears or aversions when there’s no real basis for them. I won’t call you a terrible parent for not wanting to do that — it’s normal not to enjoy it. But sometimes you have to step up.

I realize that everyone here seems fixated on the snow… did no one see that a girl who was 12 was arrested for writing on the desk?

Now – I realize snow might be more fun to comment on… but there was a real travesty of justice and ruination of childhood on a far deeper level by that arrest. Some girl was writing on a desk – something all of us have done either on a desk, or a wall, or a tree even – and taken to jail for it.

My questions are… WHO THE HELL CALLED THE POLICE??? See, I don’t think the cops were automatically there to jail her… someone had to call. Why did they call? Did she pull a gun on the teacher for reprimanding her? What kind of perverted and sick society do we live in when we can’t take care of writing on a desk by, say, detention and having to stay after school to clean it off?

Sure, the snow story is a perfect example of why people without common sense shouldn’t be allowed to breed – but here we have a young lady thrown in jail by adults that should be out working on getting actual criminals off the streets. Is no one else worried by that?

When I was in the 6th grade, I sat at a desk one day that was covered in pencil drawings. I was bored, so I started erasing them, following the lines. Halfway through the class, the teacher noticed and started to tell me how much trouble I was in, until I pointed out what I was actually doing. Gotcha! Made my day!

Good thing he didn’t slap cuffs on me before he found out the facts.

Seriously? How thick are you people? The snow question that you are all up in arms about was NOT a serious question!
Are all of you that devoid of personality that you failed to see that?
Jeezso people grow the hell up!

I can’t even begin to understand why the school district in Virginia caved in to one parent’s complaint about Anne Frank’s Diary and pulled the unedited version from the curriculum. The essay said everything that needs to be said about it, I guess. I am used to fighting tough battles against censorship and ignorance, but on this I am at a loss.

I haven’t read the Anne Frank post nor the offending parts of the book. I do recall when it came into the news that the offending parts were going to be added (not all that long ago). It seems Otto Frank (Anne’s father) had not allowed this in his lifetime as he felt it was too private. I honestly do not see the need for every American child to read about Anne’s sexual thoughts and experimentations while locked indefinitely in close quarters with a few males. An adult can understand all the implications of the effects of her virtual imprisonment on how her mind and body were working, but many youghs cannot. To the extent that Anne Frank is required or school-encouraged reading for young teens and tweens, I think they should use the old version. This has long been seen as a powerful story for young people without the added sex-oriented content. Why distract young minds from the messages in the remainder of the book by adding stuff that will be confusing and disturbing to many? Leave the new version in the library for those more curious or more mature people to read at their leisure.

I love your book and website. Thank you for helping me with some of my fears and helping me feel like I am not crazy about other things that I do. You are a brave person! Thank you.

Yes, I saw the snow lady question. What I find utterly hilarious is that so many people were so cruel to her. Doesn’t anyone recognize sarcasm? It’s yahoo answers, not a serious parenting blog, there are also spanking fetish questions and numerous trolls on that site. She is a well known regular with a great sense of humor. It was a JOKE. If those people believe everything they read for face value, I have a bridge to sell them.

Uly, that article was fantastic.

“Should we not rather ask ourselves where our young people learned to depend entirely on artificial stimulation? Possibly such bad habits as they have are intimately connected with the fact that, from earliest childhood, their recreation has always been prescribed for them, has been something brought in to them from the outside, has never been a genuine cultivation of their own natural interests. For we have never helped them develop their own resources, never left them undisturbed long enough for their inner urges to break through the armor of purely external discipline in which we have encased them.”

If only that parent could see the world we’re in now… the one where we only wish our kids could have half the freedom the generation of the 30’s had without us, as parents, being thrown into jail for neglect.

On another note… where the heck did all these people suddenly come from that are heckling the comments made here? It’s as if vultures suddenly swooped down from the sky after the death of an animal. Joke or not, regarding the snow, I didn’t bother to read the post because in general, you find enough true stories that are utterly ridiculous (case in point the arrested desk-writing girl). If it’s fake, great, someone with a sense of humor and kudos. I really couldn’t care less as I’ve seen enough real crap posted by idiots to make my life. Sad but true.

As far as helicopter parenting and early education – I don’t know what percentage of Americans today could send their kids outside to climb trees if they wanted to. Personally, though, I’m guilty. My kids have a nice backyard but they are now in daycare. Had to give up the nanny arrangement when they were about 2.5. Previously, I required them to be outside as much as they possibly could be and still remain healthy. I think the benefits of that will endure. Now, I take/send them outside every reasonable chance I get, but let’s face it, I’m a single mom, I live in a city, and I’m going to have a career throughout the kids’ childhood. Maybe my kids’ brains would develop marginally better if I personally spent the entire day with them, analyzing the wonders of nature and the laws of physics, but on balance, it’s best if I put them in a reasonably good “school” and go to work.

I think it’s a great thing that my kids’ daycare offers a lot of things that other (so-called “helicopter”) parents choose to fit into family/free time. Their gymnastics, dance, karate, soccer, French, group story hour, etc. are worked right into the “school day.” (I wouldn’t push all that if it seemed to be too much for them, but they thrive on the activities.) I encourage working parents to ask their day cares about inviting extracurricular teachers in during the school day. It’s a win-win-win-win in my opinion. Once I’m off work, the rest of the day is free of externally-structured activities. I used to take my kids to tot classes / story hours and it could blow the whole evening – the activities themselves may be terrific, but the logistics suck.

LOL, Karen, I remember as a Kindergartener being mortified upon noting that my dad had driven me to school in his slippers. Now, I wear my pj’s to walk to the treelawn for the mail, garbage, etc., and no, we don’t live on a country road. Phooey! I have a lot more skin covered up than many “well-dressed” people. But when I drop my kids off at daycare, I do pull on yesterday’s jeans. Only because I can’t get all the “what-ifs” out of my mind – what if I got pulled over, etc.

I think sometimes educators get confused about who is actually under the power of the school. The whole trend of schools requiring parents to read what the kids are reading, check their homework daily, etc. really rubs me the wrong way. That’s a topic for another day! But the point is: when I was in school, I observed school decorum (more or less). Now, I am done with that. I dress for work, not school. Sometimes I wear a suit, and sometimes I don’t take a shower until 6pm because I’m working at home. It has nothing to do with my kids’ formal education.

KarenW, do you have a link?

I’m blind or stupid, because I’m not seeing it.

In defense of people who jumped on the “Evil Snow Lady”, it was posted in yahoo answers, which is kinda like the Jerry Springer show. There is so much stupid going on in each place you can’t tell what is real and what is made up. Honestly, I can’t take anything serious on yahoo answers. Whoever would use that “resource” to find an actual answer is beyond help.

By the time I realized that, it must have scrolled off the sidebar.