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    “Everything Is Dangerous” — Great Song

    Hi Readers! Wish I’d written this one! Some of the lyrics:

    Everything Is Dangerous by Tom Smith

    Your kid can get salmonella from his new pet turtle,
    Buckle your seat belt or through the windshield you will hurtle,
    You can choke on anything not bigger than your head,
    Everything is dangerous, so how come you’re not dead? …

    Make sure that your sunscreen is at least SPF 30,
    Don’t eat food in restaurants, the chef’s hands might be dirty,
    Gay men want your body and they can’t control their urges,
    Monks have secret messages they’re chanting in their dirges.

    Magnetic waves from in your cell phone just might fry your brain,
    There’s a flying spaghetti monster in your beef chow mein,
    Paris Hilton might explode, I saw it on Fox News,
    Everything is dangerous, including Starburst chews….

    Love it. Have fun! — Lenore

    P.S. This is a song — not an endorsement of reckless, seatbelt-less driving. I am on record, even on the lefthand side of this page since the day of its inception, as LOVING seat belts!

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    11 Comments

    1. WendyH on

      That is awesome! You should check out his consumer Christmas song called “Hey Frickin Nonny” or just for kicks “I’ll Get That Roadrunner”. I could go on as he has a bunch of fantastic songs. He’s by far one of my favorite artists, right up there with Tom Lehr.

    3. Jane from Maine on

      Reminds me of the country song about things we did as kids that are too dangerous now! THis gave me a good chuckle

    4. Aimee on

      The bedtime story I read my kids tonight was Ladybug Girl by Jacky Davis, a beautiful book about a free-range morning playing outside. The number of “dangerous” things she comes and across and does..OH MY! Running across a downed tree trunk! Splasing through a pond of unknown depth! Picking up and playing with rocks! This is one of my favorite books to read to my girls, because it shows a little girl loving being outside and loving all the little adventures she has. What a shame that kids miss out on those kinds of experiences because of the “danger!”

    5. Bob Davis on

      The one thing that’s “not funny” is the comment about seat belts. I was in a collision in which my car was “totaled”, and all I got was a scratched knee. I’ve been an “apostle of seat belts” ever since. When my younger daughter was in college, she had this old Buick for local transport. One day she and a friend were going off on an errand. Vicky fastened her belt and waited. Her friend asked why she hadn’t started the car. She said, “You haven’t fastened your safety belt.” And her friend said, “Oh, there’s an interlock.” To which Vicky replied, “Yep, (pointed to her head) right up here!”

    6. Sandra Bekin on

      i agree that car seatbelts should be used.

      In Australia, seat belts are compulsory FOR EVERYONE, child and adult. This includes babies who use ‘baby-capsules’, which are safety-certified ‘pods’ for babies that strap into place on the car seats. In the event of a crash above a slow speed it is not possible for an adult to hold a baby against the force with which baby is propelled forward, or the child can be crushed between the dashboard and the adult.

      I understand (i.e. I could be wrong) airbags were developed because it is impossible to bring in compulsory seatbelt-wearing in the USA. However, airbags can, when deployed, be dangerous for very small children. .

      I wouldn’t dream of travelling in a car without wearing my seatbelt nor without making all passengers, especially, children belt up. The impact this law has had on reducing death, disablement and injury, particularly for children, more than justifies the few seconds it takes to buckle in.

      I can’t understand how parents, schools etc can helicopter kids to the nth degree but shrink from introducing a simple, effective measure to reduce a real threat to childrens” well-being – being bounced around a crashing car like a tin of beans.

      BTW My doggy-seatbelt saved my puppy from being thrown through the windscreen when I got hit at a crossing by a truck. and a car. Come to think of it, everyone walked away without a scratch.

    7. Sandra Bekin on

      South Australia seatbelt laws.
      “DRIVERS will be fined up to $510… if they fail to ensure every person in the vehicle is wearing a seatbelt.” (DOUG ROBERTSON From: The Advertiser February 27, 2008
      http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/seatbelt-fines-up-to-510/story-e6freo8c-1111115674166 )

      The driver gets a fine of $230 for themselves and if two or more passengers are not wearing their belts, the driver can get an on-the-spot fine of $510, as the driver must ensure everyone is wearing their seat-belts. Passengers can also be fined separately as well as the driver. Demerit points apply.

      .
      And I am very happy with that as we still have kids suffering preventable injury and death because parents won’t put freakin seatbelts on them. (Belts are compulsory in all but ‘vintage’ cars.)
      “

    8. Blotz on

      Tom Smith is a wonderful Filk Singer (If you’ve got an ounce of geek blood in you, check out his catalog).
      As for the seat belt line… I’m sure he spent a lot of time sitting there wracking his brain… “What can I rhyme with frickin turtle!”

    10. esther on

      I like the references to dihydrogen monoxide and the flying spaghetti monster.

      And it reminds me very much of a Dutch song from the – seventies? eighties? – called “allemaal angst” – “it’s all fear”. It’s here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-TvnVRyCcY

      First lines translated:

      Eating fruit gives you worms
      Washing too much makes you bald
      And when the bomb will fall
      Well then we’ll all go

      And it includes the great line
      Those who fear the most, often have the least to fear.

    11. Lucy on

      Hmmm, obviously the songwriter was not hit on as a young teen in ‘loose 80’s’ in rest area restrooms, department store restrooms, restaurant restrooms….