I Send My Kids Outside to Play…But They Don’t Know How

Do they have bikes? And is there somewhere you could send them on an errand or something? I’ve noticed with my kids that once they’ve gone somewhere on their own once or twice, they automatically increase their ‘range’ that far.

I agree with Cynthia. An errand might also get them to notice somewhere else to play.

Also, maybe a family walk around the neighborhood might be a good “baby step” in this case. They might just get curious and start exploring more on their own!

Don’t forget the obligatory “mom knows I’m out and I don’t need a ride home” letter for them to carry in case “helpful” police or neighbors wonder why they’re out alone.

Send them to the local store to buy a carton of milk!

1) They get out sans supervision.
2) They learn how to be responsible with money.
3) They know that you trust them to buy the right kind of milk and bring back the correct change.
4) They are out of your hair for a bit and feeling independent and important!
5) You get a carton of milk and didn’t have to stop what you were doing in order to go and fetch it! Win-win!

For the record, my twins are 10 and we started sending them on little errands to the local store when they were 9.

We have lots of sports equipment…frisbees, soccer balls, footballs, a basketball hoop, baseball gear. If your boys don’t play any of these sports, it may take getting out there and throwing a ball or shooting hoops with them. Teach them how to play HORSE if they don’t know. Having a time where the family plays together can then help create time where they play games independently.

What do they ENJOY doing? Try to encourage the behaviors that you want. It may mean you need to do some training and teaching to get them where you are – most everything is a learned skill, and thus can be taught given time and talent.

I was never an athletic/active sort despite my parents’ best efforts (mid 30’s now) – so if my mother just told me to get out of the house, I figured out where I could snag a book or three and hopped on my bike and rode far enough I was out of sight and read outdoors (versus reading indoors) – I should ask her how much she was aware that I obeyed the letter, if not the spirit, of the law now that I’m the father of an 18 month old.

We had new neighbors move in several months ago, and the kids rarely played outside. I’ve noticed that they’ve begun coming out more to play with my son, who’s out every day after school and pretty much all day on weekends. I love it for my son, who loves having playmates, and I love it because they’re out coming up with things to do. My son has clearly defined limits, but within those limits is free to do whatever he wants (he’s five). Last week they came over to get him after school, and they all went to another neighbor’s looking for his kids. Those kids are only there every other weekend, but it was great to see them out rounding up their people. I am hopeful that soon the little girl who lives a few houses down is going to be able to join them.

I am so glad someone wrote about this. I have started sending my five and three year old sons outside to play together in our yard or driveway. I know three is pretty young but I watch very closely from inside and will only intervene if he tries to go into the street. Their play centers around toys they take from the garage and often doesn’t last long before fighting ensues. Although this play is creative in nature it isn’t the typical scenario of children coming up with games and spending long periods of time outside. Maybe they are too young? I just refuse to hover and create their play for them or intervene in every argument they have. Not sure I am doing this right…..

We were lucky that our neighbors had kids around the same age as ours, and those kids would play outside from sun-up to sundown, and sometimes beyond. So our kids grew up playing outside — just like we did. The only problem is that if the neighbor kids aren’t outside for some reason, our kids are less likely to go outside by themselves. They needed someone other than their own siblings to interact with.

We have also been reluctant to allow them electronic gadgets, although this past year we did finally add a Wii to the house (first time for me to have a videogame system in the house in 25 years — things have changed!). They enjoy it, but they’ll gladly leave it to go outside and play with the neighbor kids.

It probably helps that we are a family who likes being outside a lot. It’s not unusual for us to just drive to a state park or someplace to just go for a family hike. We’re not extreme sports fanatics by any means, but we just like the outdoors.

Gigi- my middle two are 3 and 5. They are starting to have days when they play imagination games with each other all day long, but it’s still hit or miss. And I know they have learned it earlier than my oldest because they have been around older kids who taught them. So if your kids have lots of free time to play together, I’ll bet they’re right on the cusp of having a lot of fun.

It’s been a joy to watch my kids and the neighborhood kids playing all those kid-games like Kick the Can and Ghost in the Graveyard — knowing that these things are being passed down to another generation, organically (I never told them how to play!).

As much as my wife and I are anxious to get a country home, I don’t think my kids would be having these experiences if we didn’t live in a residential neighborhood with all these kids. Our street seems to have a lot of kids who like to play outdoors.

Sickeningly true, alas. When my daughter was a toddler I urged my wife to let her play alone sometimes: even indoors. But she always had to be her playmate, and so my daughter now is incapable of playing by herself. Unfortunately, the helicopter parent, who is usually the mom, wins. If I had allowed my kid to run free my wife would have used it against me in a custody battle. So much of this problem is because men have been driven (or left) from their kids’ lives, or they stand for nothing.

Here, courtesy of The Onion, is the typical American child:

http://www.theonion.com/video/braindead-teen-only-capable-of-rolling-eyes-and-te,27225/

I have an 8, 10, 11 and 14 year old. Here is my advice. 1. Encourage them to knock on their friends doors and ask if they can come out and play. Siblings often do not get along and need other playmates. They have a right to ask their friends to come outside IMO. If the parents don;t let them, then the parents have to deal with that. 2. If the kids fight and come inside and (gasp) expect you to work out their differences the consequence should always be that they should each have to do some chore separately. One can sweep the floor and one can load the dishwasher. If they complain excessively, give them additional chores. Do it without anger. It will take some time, and many chores, but eventually your kids will start to work out their differences on their own, or just stop playing with each other when they get too annoyed with each other. 3. Find out what each of them loves to do. Encourage them to explore their interests. Since you are free range you can let them do things that other parents might not, like archery, whittling, building a treehouse, etc. Understand that they are highly structured at school and under a lot of control most of the time, with little opportunity for creative expression, so they may need some time and experimentation to discover what they really enjoy. My 11 year old loves archery, and building fires in our fire pit, and my 10 year old enjoys using tools like hammers and nails. He has a saw and a miter box and builds frames for his artwork. My 8 year old is still into bionicles and legos and the like, but they do grow out of this stuff and want to practice adult activities. Also my 8 year old enjoys creating animation videos with his camera. He can do it inside or outside, and it entertains him for hours at a time.

Keep it up, you are doing the right thing here, it just takes some time.

We’ve also always allowed our children to bring “inside” toys outside. Barbies and webkinz have lived in trees, rolled in the mud–
My mom used to let me drag a METAL play kitchen down the stairs banging the walls all the way so I could set it up in the front yard under a tree and we’d play for hours in our “outdoor kitchen.”
Now that my kids are teenagers I still get them to bring their indoor play outside—board games are played at the picnic table, art projects are done out there too, books are read on a blanket on the lawn.
I also agree with previous posters that especially for the older children, jobs and errands work very well and increase range, confidence and skill….and are fun!

Luckily, in our neighborhood, there are kids who play outside frequently. Unfortunately, they are all older than my son (by quite a bit) and he is a little overwhelmed by them. They are friendly, but noisy and bigger than he is. However, I have high hopes for him as he grows up, and as the little girl across the street (who is a year younger than my son) also gets older, as she is outside quite a bit with her parents, who are friendly.

We have a park within biking distance, and we go there daily. I’ve watched my son (3) try to engage the other children in play, or join their games. Occasionally he finds a playground buddy, but more often than not, the other kids just ignore him. He shrugs it off and plays by himself, but it bothers me – it’s as though these children do not know how to interact with anyone other than their siblings (or the children they came with). Has anyone else ran into this problem?

Biking’s a great idea. Back in the day, Captain America used to ride his damn fine purple Schwinn hither and yon exploring various parts of the suburbs. Age 10 and alone. Kind of interested in seeing all the different styles of houses out there, and with the goal of making it to a large park.

My neighborhood was filled with kids, and the kids were great, range of ages, but I had some my age. We built a fort in back out of scavenged materials. I took my transistor radio, attached some wires to some small speakers I had removed from a broken phonograph and voila! home sound system for the fort! My brother was fort librarian.

We have a fenced back yard and my kids play outside all the time (sometimes even in the rain and yukky weather which means my indoors sometimes has more dirt than the outdoors).

I nanny and I’m surprised at the number of kids who don’t know “how” to play outside, so here’s what I’ve done. I send them on a “treasure hunt”. It’s fall, so have them find 3 different leaves. “different” can be color, shape or ???.

Have them find 2 small rocks and 1 large rock.

Give them a gardening shovel and let them dig a hole (in an “approved area” — not your prized rose garden!).

Give them a cheap thrift store camera and have them take pictures of anything that catches their eye.

Pretty soon, you won’t need to “send” them outside, they’ll be dying to go outside!

Good Luck!

We moved a couple of times when my girls were around that age.
I bought them a couple of bags of cookies or treats, and sent them down to make friends at the park.
Sugary snack foods are a great ice breaker, for kids.
Kids are alot better at making friends than adults, and usually they only need a slight edge like sugar, lol.

Bummed Mom,
We are not too far from you in Napanee. This whole thing with the schools seperating grades at recess is an issue that we deal with, as well. I do not agree with it, because it segregates the kids on basis of age, with no thought as to individual needs, wants, or friends that are in different grade levels.
We are not segregated by age in the real world, so what possible benefit is there to doing it in school.
And nobody give me the bullying crap. Bullying is nothing new. What is new about it, is we don’t allow our kids to handle it effectively. Between the schools, the media and the shrinks our kids have been told that if you are bullied you are traumatized.
They should be told if you are bullied, stand up for yourself and get over it.

Get a dog!

I grew up in a village in the countryside and when we were kids we used to go with my mom or dad walk the dog at least one hour every day, no matter what the weather looked like.
We got used running in the fields, we discovered all the streams around, this helped us knowing the area perfeclty, the forest, the dangerous areas (the ones with deep holes in the ground, or old bunkers that might collapse), the best places to build a treehouse and how to clean a wound when we felt, or which fruits we could eat or not on the way. Then when we were a bit older I remember other kids from the neighbourhood used to come with us and after a while my parents stopped coming with us (they would not leave the dog with us until we were older, maybe 11/12 years old because you never know when those animals will decide to run after a rabbit or something). But we were so used to play outside the whole day long, and we knew very well the good places for each activities, and we were able to keep ourselves safe enough with all the basics rules we had learn, so we kept the habit of going out all the time, winter or summer, with or without other kids. We were very proud to have our own backpacks with water and food and bandaids!

I’m also glad to report that, when I was a teenager, I would take the dog out on my own sometimes, alone in the fields and forest, and my parents biggest fear was the hunters, not the murders/abductors. Once I was walking along the road and a car stopped by me, with two totally drunk men in it, and they tried to grab my arm to get me in the car with them. I think they were mostly drunk and trying to “have fun”. I ran out in the fields with the dog, knowing exactly the way home through the forest, and while it freaked me out, I think I haven’t been in real danger (of course they were only two drunk guys, but sill, that’s what’s nice when you teach your kids to use their brain and instinct to escape a danger).

I hope I can do that with my kids when they grow older, but I’m sorry that advice will only work in the countryside 🙂

I like to keep a chore jar available. I put things in there that generally always need to be done like wiping the walls. Then if they can’t find anything to doon their own I have them pull a chore out of the jar. It is a great motivator for helping them find ways to entertain themselves. I think they only pulled a couple over summer break before they figured out that it wasn’t my job to find fun stuff for them to do. Also, in my opinion there isn’t anything wrong with them playing with each other because there are no other kids around, I try to let them work it out themselves – outside.

A young girl, maybe seven, came to my door and asked if I had any kids!! Imagine that. I do and I sent them both out to play with her. Instant friends.

@Fear less I’m in complete agreement with you, but I have to laugh at the comment about growing out of LEGOs. My partner and I belong to an adult LEGO building group that builds and displays models nationwide. We’ve certainly never grown out of this sort of play, and my 9 year olds yearn for the day when their creations look as cool as the ones the grownups make.

We also all spends lots of time outside.

Balls, sticks, rope all are good. I remember we had an old tire hung from a tree in front of the house in a Washington DC suburb. Looked like the Beverly Hillbillies before they moved. I remember we used to play a game with our pocket knives where we threw them into the ground, but I don’t remember what we did after that. Get your kid a knife.

Keep it up! You’ll see results!

My older kids (8 & 5) know they have to play outside a certain amount of time a day no matter what time of year. They don’t go far because, as we all know, there’s no reason to since seldom are other children out. But, mine are out with each other and they have found ways to entertain themselves and play.

It’s ok if they don’t go further than their yard yet. As for the fighting, I tell mine it’s not allowed out of respect for the neighbors. Of course, no siblings are perfect about that.

Stick to your guns. Tell them how long they need to be outside and follow-through. I think yours will become successful at it, too. (And, happy about it.)

And, if they don’t already, make sure they can properly cross the street and look for cars. It seems some kids haven’t learned this…..

My husband grew up in a Catholic family of 10 – Earl… do you know my husband? Because that was his mom’s strategy too!

We just moved to a quiet neighborhood with lots of kids….it’s an older neighborhood, built back before trees and playgrounds were replaced by cookie-cutter houses and HOA’s. A few kids run amuck, small children in the streets, making the elderly neighbors cluck their tongues and shake their heads. For the most part, though, people watch out for each other. My six-year-old can walk the half mile to her friend’s house, crossing one non-busy street, and no one (so far) has suggested that I’m being foolhardy. (However, I won’t let her ride her bike that distance yet. She’s still proving to me that she can follow safety rules while riding.)

For the most part, kids congregate at one or two houses. Bikes pile in the front yards, and shouts and laughter come from the back yards.

Yesterday I came home from my 6 and 12-year-olds’ swim practice (I drive my kids when I can, even though it’s less than a mile, because it’s chilly and they have wet hair) at about 7pm. I found my 3 and 4 year old happily being bossed around in the back yard by the 10-year-old neighbor girl. I think they were playing cops and robbers…I’m not sure – I briefly checked on them, and then went inside to start the dishwasher. I called them all in at 7:45, time for baths.

Kids CAN learn to entertain themselves, but it takes practice. I’m so thankful for my neighborhood.

Charlie, what a great list for a scavenger hunt! I did something similar for my daughter and her friends this summer, only my list also included the subversive “say hi to a stranger and ask them to take your picture” and “climb a tree” (they all got cameras to take pictures of things they could not bring.)

Regarding getting them out to play every day though, I don’t have any ideas. My situation is even worse. With an only child who is very social, she won’t stay outdoors unless she can find a playmate. When we first moved to the neighborhood this summer she met a girl who lived next door and they took an immediate liking to each other. Since then they’ve called each other almost every day, trying to meet up. But one of them always has an afterschool activity, or an errand, or too much homework. So in two months they have met up exactly twice, both times for less than an hour. I’m so frustrated I could cry.

We have a similar problem. There are kids in the neighborhood (though none directly across or beside us), but they are rarely out and about, so sending my 7-year-old out to go play isn’t a lot of fun for him. We are very close to a park, but it’s usually either preschoolers there with their parents or local organized sports. It seems almost all the school-aged kids are in organized activities or in after-school care until dark. (Not judging, we ourselves do some organized sports, and I certainly understand the need for two working parents.) It does make free-ranging the kids a bit more tricky when other kids aren’t out there to roam the neighborhood with them.

How I remember Mom’s mandate to be back home by dark and how I want those days for my kids as well.

Not sure what the sex of your two children are BUT my niece’s husband would offer to play catch with their boys or a pickup game of touch football. Perhaps your hubby or you could say to them, “Hey, let’s go out and kick the soccer ball around for a bit” and be very interactive with them in an outside activity whatever it is instead of just telling them to go outside by themselves and find something to do. Eventually, they may love doing it by themselves or with a friend. It could be just a matter of “jump starting” them on a fun outside activity.

I know there is some criticism of organized sports on this site but it has the wonderful side benefit of occupying the kids independently. If your kids get interested in organized basketball, soccer, baseball and are motivated to do well, they will want to practice at home (they will have to, to get better). Plus, when they make like-minded friends on these teams the kids want to get together to shoot, pitch, etc. They might not be neighbor kids (my kids sadly don’t play with their neighbors either) but maybe it’s a bike ride away.

And yes I agree about the errands or the “lure” of a Popsicle. Those were the very first free range steps I took after reading the book. My kids thought they were klng and queen of the neighborhood when they started going to the cheesy corner store a few years ago.

I’m much quicker to send the kids outside than my husband. He finally got used to the idea that the kids can cross the street and play a ways down the the block just fine, but he really didn’t like it at first. He comfortable with it now, but it took time.

My kids were lucky enough to start playing outside when there were a bunch of families outside taking their kids out to play while they watched. I had an infant at the time, so the parents understood that I wasn’t going to spend much time out there, and I told them to send my kids home if there were any problems. Kids were welcome at my house too, but that never happened. Parents here just tend to watch their kids too much. Now I never see that group of kids out at all. They’re elementary school age now, so I’m guessing activities or being sent to daycare.

I have one neighbor who will once every few months send her daughter to play with my kids. She’s a student, so I’ve told her that any time she needs quiet study time, send that kids over! Doesn’t happen much, but all the kids have fun when it does.

I agree about the scooters. Our block is big, about a mile loop, and my kids go around it on their scooters. Our front yard is too sloped for easy play, but there’s a grassy area my kids play in down the block, and my oldest often reads in the trees and has taught several other kids to climb. One mom was disappointed but understanding that my 10 year old taught her teenager to climb trees – she’d hoped her kids would never learn that!

I have a rare neighbor who lets her 5, 8, and 10 yo’s play outside unsupervised (on the sidewalk, and in the small parklike area across the street since we live in walk-up apt’s that do not have yards). I’ve been admiring this all year. Recently, I’ve started fostering a relationship between my kids (ages 3.5 and 5.5) and hers – we go play in the adjacent church parking lot when they’re therem we walk to school together, we started sharing a babysitter, and we invite them over for playdates. This is starting to work. What is was missing was relationship. Two days ago, the neighbor’s kids came over to ask if my kids could go scootering in the church lot, and I said yes – my 5.5yo went quite eagerly (my 3.5 wanted to stay home). Yesterday, we played together again after school and I left them in a school playground alone for 30 minutes (there were lots of parents and kids around – everyone was 100% fine).

So, slowly my kids are getting used to this idea. My suggestion is to help foster relationship/community with neighborhood kids – get to know their parents, invite them over, share meals, have playdates, walk to school, babysit for each other, and so on.

Good luck to you!
Heli, Brookline MA

I have two boys. I used to send them outside for “yard time.” I locked the door and set the timer. The first time they pulled the patio chairs into the yard and sat there for 15 minutes. I felt like a horrible parent because my kids didn’t know how to play outside. I realized that the only way to improve their skills was to keep trying. I did and they got better. Now they go outside and play for hours. The best part is that other parents are letting their kids outside too. Kids I’ve never seen before keep showing up to play. It’s fantastic and it just takes one parent to set the example. So keep trying, it works.

The children playing outside by themselves is such a great topic. My kids are always asking me questions about my youth and what I did when I was a kid. I told them of the days spent playing in the woods by my house with our neighborhood gang and family dinner bells calling the kids home.

We recently visited my old home and the kids wanted to go in the woods right away. When I was young, I spent hours digging in the creek beds for “treasure” which were very old bottles. Apparently this was an apothecary dumping grounds from the late 1800’s and we dug and discovered bottles for hours. Going back with my kids I warned them that there probably would not be any bottles left- surely some other kids in the past 20 years discovered this spot and found the rest of the treasures.

Well, no one has gone back there since I was a kid. The paths we carved out with our bikes were totally overgrown, but the creeks were full of very cool bottles. They must have dug out 50 bottles (old Milk of Magnesia blue bottles, poison bottles, pestles, Wyeth, Squibb, and other original pharma bottles). My oldest is FASCINATED by these artifacts and declared this dump the coolest place ever. He is working with friends at school to date and determine what was in each bottle. They are studing pollution and his teacher welcomes the enthusiasm and findings. Best of all, it’s free.

I never just went exploring for the sake of it as a kid. I only did it when i had a goal like walk home from school, go to the shops or walk the dog. Then I’d meander, take detours, invent games, collect chestnuts and acorns and autumn leaves etc. I think it’s kind of normal.

Now as an adult I still don’t go for walks or bike rides for the sake of it. I ride or walk to work or school or to exercise the dog. I think it’s my main reason for having a dog actually.

Not everyone has the temperament for being ‘a wanderer’and I think that’s fine. So maybe do give your kids errands to run or make up tasks for them. They will do their exploring and gaining independence along the way.

My daughter climbs trees and picks tree fruits on her way home from school. I have never told her to come straight home and she is allowed to take her time. Though she knows not to take that long…

I first started “exploring” at the age of 11 or so, so it can be done. I was a bit lonely too — most of the neighbourhood kids were boys, who didn’t want to play with me, so I tended to hang around alone. I guess I already “knew” what to do outside, as I’d been allowed in the garden by myself for as long as I can remember, and I had been allowed to ride my bike around the footpath outside our house for a few years at that point.

The kind of stuff I did:

1. Rode my bike. This was pretty much my primary means of transport as I was still young enough to legally ride on the footpath.

2. Went on playground equipment. Surprisingly rarely; I guess I was getting too old for it and it wasn’t much fun on your own.

3. Wandered through some bushland. I actually think this was going a bit too far as a safety issue when I did it by myself — I would now recommend this as an activity for two or more kids together (even adults generally don’t hike alone I believe). Once I did this with another kid and we climbed over some rocks; this was good as we could warn each other if we were about to put our hand where there might be something dangerous, eg. a spider.

4. Looked for interesting things — a waterfall, nice flowers, etc. Depending on your view on kids incorporating technology into their walks, maybe you could encourage this by lending them a cheap camera?

5. Explored streets I hadn’t ever seen. I STILL do this, now I’m an adult and can walk wherever I want. Look at interesting houses, nice views, or just getting to know the layout of your own area. Considering the age of the kids, you might have to set parameters, either:
— place, eg. “Don’t go past X street” and/or
— time, eg. “Start walking back at 2:30, be home by lunch/dark”
— Again, depending on what your view is toward technology/your participation, it might be fun to do things like “see how far/to what place you can get in X minutes/hours then call me to pick you up” — this also allows them to walk further, for example, if the cinema is so far away that they can’t walk both there and back, they could walk there, then you could pick them up after the movie finishes.

Though I know some people on here have different attitudes to kids having cell/mobile phones, if they are free-ranging widely it CAN be useful in case they get “stranded” due to sudden onset weather/injury/illness/accidentally walking so far they genuinely cannot get home before the specified time or due to being too worn out. Depending on the public transport situation in your area, this may not be necessary if they can find a bus stop. It also allows them to have the option of calling for emergency help (eg. if someone falls off a bike and breaks their arm).

And indeed, “How to get help for yourself/someone else in a real emergency” is a free range lesson in itself, as this video demonstrates (warning: despite the happy outcome to this story, the voice recording is quite distressing to listen to):

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/hey-kids-youre-my-triple-zero-heroes/story-e6frf7kx-1226493942344

I think the factor of other kids playing out is crucial. Who wants to cycle up and down an empty street with no one else about? This, along with trying to tackle the ‘car problem’, is one of the main reasons we set up ‘playing out’ – short, organised road closures as a way to try to kick-start a culture where kids being out on their street is normal again (see http://www.playingout.net). Mike Lanza, author of ‘playbourhood’, is coming from a very similar place and I would recommend his book to any parent wanting to ignite this culture where they live. Just sending your own child out to play on their own can be hard but there are ways to try to make this more of a collective movement in your neighbourhood. This isn’t about over-parenting but just finding a way across the impass.

A lot of people here just went out there, there was already a lot of kids and apparently a lot of people here just roamed and been happy. But even back then, not everyone liked the same things and was in the same situation.

If it would be upon me when I was a kid, I would spend all the time inside reading books. I tried to just go bike, because I liked my bike. But unless there was somebody with me or unless really wanted to go somewhere (library) I usually lost motivation in 10 minutes. Biking without a goal or purpose just felt empty and entirely pointless to me. I came back and that was it.

My parents tended to send me to go out, our neighborhood did not have that many kids and I was shy. Even if there was already someone out, I would just avoid him. I usually rang to friends living in the same house and called them out. Being outside with friends was something else entirely.

Older kids tend to form groups and are not so keen to play with any random kid that comes around. It is different if everybody knows everybody of course. But expecting that every 11 years old kid will be able to just walk into a random group of 13 years old and make them to accept him is too much.

Adults do not do that with random adult groups on the street and kids are on their way there.

Playing alone outside and playing alone at home is not that different, except that it is better at home. At least, you can build legos or read. I sort of understand them, it is quite possible that their childhoods are more like mine.

The other point is that our kids will miss on our childhoods no matter what we do. We can not force them to reproduce it and there is no point in trying. They have to live their own childhoods. And if the general opinion changes and the kids after them will spend all the time outside, we will see our kids saying: “Those kids have no patience, they just want to run outside all the time. They are missing on all those important activities: lego, reading kindle, discussing your opinions on forums and so one.” (They will remember forums as a place with deep ideas and discussions and will forget all those pointless dummy ones. )

Fun topic!
My 6 year old has recently started riding his bike to a friend’s house up the street. I am thinking that his friend’s family thinks us a bit crazy for allowing this as when the kids come back they are always accompanied by an adult. It does make me happy when a group of neighborhood kids are playing together because there is so little “play” left in the world. We should be embracing it and encouraging it.

@Merrick-from your link for Kids in Nature, to have an organization that is devoted to Helping Parents Get Kids Outside is a truly sad state of our culture. Necessary, unfortunately, but sad that we have made the great outdoors so obsolete to some children.

@Jennifer, I had to laugh at myself about that! I also have many adult friends that still build things with Legos when I think about it, and there are legos that are just for older kids and grown ups too. For some reason, my older kids stopped playing with them at some point, but my 8 year old might play with them into adulthood and that is totally fine with me! He wants to build roads and bridges when he grows up, so you never know.

Back in my day, age and size never mattered. Literally, the more the merrier. We played with younger kids (usually no more than 2-3 years younger as we were around 8-10). And we’ve also played with the older kids (11-13). Some of us were bigger than the older kids, and some as small as the younger ones. But the common things was, we just wanted to play and have a good time. The majority of the time, we all did. We also stuck up for each other, even the ones we just met. That’s how we met friends. After play we would sometimes head over to one house, bringing our new friend(s) with us. And the parent at that house would welcome everyone just the same. As well as treating us like their own. So every house we went to, we were taught respect. If we misbehaved, we were put in check. Sometimes they would even get us to call our mothers, and they would talk. And when we got home, we got a stern talking to by our parents. Parents back then teamed up (even if they didn’t know each other), in making sure we were all respectful and nice to each other.

Because I hit submit comment before I finished …

If you have an introvert who likes to do things outside alone, great. The 2000s are the perfect time for him or her. But you probably aren’t lamenting about the past and its fun times outside if you do. The problem is that extroverts and those introverts who are not nature lovers don’t find much appealing about being outside these days unless in an organized activity. Not because organized activities are great but because that is where the kids are in many areas.

I don’t think that kids are not taught that “inside” activities can be outside activities, some people simply don’t want to do them outside much of the time. Take reading as an example. Do I like to read outside? Absolutely, when it is nice outside. Do I want to read outside in freezing temperatures or snow? No. Do I want to read outside in the rain? Possibly if I had a comfortable dry spot on a porch, but otherwise, no. Do I want to read outside when it is sweltering? Sure, if I am sitting by a pool or other body of water that I can jump into at regular intervals to cool off, otherwise, no.

This is not to say that people should not engage in activities outside during less than ideal weather. There are many things that my family happily does outside in the cold, snow, heat and rain. Reading – an activity that is exactly the same whether done inside or out – just isn’t one of them.

I suppose central heat and air is to blame for this. Back in the day when inside and outside where basically the same temperature, reading outside v. inside made little difference. Now reading is more comfortable inside than outside much of the year in most places. As Andy said, we can’t reproduce our childhood for our children. I see no point in pushing my child to uncomfortably read outside due to some mandate that children spend X hours outside because that’s what kids did in 1975 when the inside is a much more pleasant place to read at that time.

@Marlene I read inside because that is where the shelf with books was. Reading inside means that I could switch the book whenever I decided that I want read another one. I could start reading inside immediately, I do not have to put the shoes on and go looking for an empty bench.

There was no point for me to take a book and go to read outside. No gain and it is less practical. Which I guess hold true for any other typical indoor play – drawing, lego building or dolls. Musical instrument playing.

Some inside activities are possible outside only if you have a house and garden with calm place: any kind of crafting, anything that requires concentration and work with tools or small things. Models from wood or matches, plastic models and so on.

I used to cut and glue those paper models – impossible to do outside, wind would take away all your work. Computer programming – did that a lot during high school.

There are plenty of good things you can do inside that does not involve TV. I named only those that I personally engaged in. Art oriented people could probably name plenty of other activities.

Plus, reading inside means that I could read without being interrupted by curious people going around. (What are you reading, what it is about is it appropriate for someone of your age? – but I admit that it does not happen that much often to be a serious problem.) Which is a big benefit also when you do those other activities.

If you try hard enough, some of these things could be done outside. But they are more practical inside, especially if you live in the city.

At least for me, all those activities have been way better then being outside alone. I liked doing them and I liked looking at results of my work. I’m sure that they count as “entertaining myself”, because no one organized them for me.

Assumption that inside is inherently “unable to entertain yourself” and spend only by passive TV watching is incorrect.

Sorry Andy. I thought I wrote “entertain themselves outside”, but apparently I left out the outside part. I agree there are many ways to entertain yourself inside. I just personally believe in great health benefits of fresh air and sunlight. I’m 92 years old and to this day I make sure I spend a significant amount of time outdoors each day, breathing in the fresh air, soaking up the sunshine, walking, gardening, reading on my swing, or pursuing other interests .I don’t claim it as the sole reason, but I do believe it contributes greatly to my good health at this age when so many others of my age have resigned to indoor life and are much worse off. Now, I suppose if you worked by an open window with sunlight streaming in you could some get the same effect. And I’m certainly not saying EVERYTHING can or should be done solely outside. I was just trying to make a point that if you have kids who want to spend all their time cooped up inside, you can show them ways to take some of the things they like doing inside outside. And I still say you should mandate some outside time each day in most circumstances. As for art oriented people, I’m an artist – or used to be more so – and there’s nothing I enjoyed more than going outside and painting or drawing the beauties and people around me. I know a lot of artists who enjoy this. I still do it some, but not as much as I used to. 🙂

This has been a heartache for me as well. When we first moved here 11 years ago, my older sons were 5 & 8. There were at least 5 other kids around (on the block, around the corner) for them to play with, and the kids were OUT. Now I have a 9 year-old and there are NO kids. Not on the block, not down the street, around the block, nowhere. It breaks my heart that he’s not out playing every day. Sometimes his 16 year old brother will throw a ball around with him, but not often. Even sadder to me is that he doesn’t even know what he’s missing! He’s never played tag (not allowed at school) or kick the can or any of the wonderful things you can do outside in suburbia. We’re over a mile to the closest store and the library and I wouldn’t want him walking that far without at least a buddy. I do like to do outdoor things and will on occasion take him to places to hike, etc., but it’s not the same.

I never went outside to play as a kid. I grew up in the 90s in a large, suburban city. I was on a residential block with few kids where the nearest stores were 2 miles away. I never played tag, rode a bike, climbed a tree, etc. I only had a couple of friends and no parental supervision. But I had a very fast metabolism so I never gained weight. I was also an A+ student in school so I spent most of my time doing homework or figuring out things on the computer. That same pattern allowed me to graduate 1st in my high school class and become the lead design engineer of an electronics company in my early 20s.

That being said, I’m 26 now and never do anything outside of work. At work I design systems, solder circuits, and write computer programs. Lots of hands on stuff. But when I go home I just mess around on the computer. I look in neighbor’s garages and they have camping gear, rowboats, fishing tackle, tennis rackets, basketballs, bikes, croquet sets, dartboards, guitar amps, paint canvases…all kinds out outdoor, game, sport, art, and recreation stuff. I have a ladder, some pool acid, and a toolbox in mine. I don’t know how to fish, camp, play baseball, ride a bike, play a guitar, or paint. I think I missed a lot in life, probably b/c I never learned to play…