I’m 16 and Unready to Take a Bus on My Own

Nothing wrong with not knowing how to do things, so long as you’re willing to learn! There are probably millions of American adults who have never taken a bus before and have no idea how it works.

When my mom was 25 or 26, she got lost on the metro in DC. She had me (aged 2-3) and my sister (5-6 at the time) and while I have no memory of it, my sister claims that we were supposed to go from The Mall to a hotel and meet my uncle. My mom took the wrong train and it wound up taking us several hours longer than it was supposed to. My sister remembers it as one of the best days of her childhood. Anyway – this is to say that it’s never too late. And you will find yourself in a situation (hopefully) at some point where you’ll be looking at a train table and have no idea (I was 28, in Dusseldorf, with my husband and no kids) and then you’ll make a decision and – even if it’s not the right one – it’ll be an adventure and you’ll ultimately end up where you want to be. Put some emergency dough in your pocket, make sure the battery on your phone is charged, and don’t be afraid to rely on the kindness of strangers for directions. Have fun!

J — hop online and find the web site for you local (city, county, whichever) transit company, the people who run the busses in your area. If they have a system-wide map, figure out how to get one. You might be able to order one in the mail, or download and print one, or you might have to pick one up at a major stop, a cooperative store in the area, or the transit center if there is one. A bus ride to the transit center to get yourself a map could be your first trip.

A map will give you a general idea of what numbered lines go where. With a good bus map, you can get anywhere within walking distance of a bus line. Getting there quickly and efficiently takes more planning.

Some bus systems have one fat pamphlet that gives schedule info for all their bus lines, and some have a separate pamphlet for each line. You should get ahold of these — either the fat pamphlet if they have one, or the separate pamplets for the bus lines that go near your house, your school, your favorite mall, and anywhere else you might want to go. You can usually pick up route pamphlets on the busses themselves, or a transit center might have all of them, if your system does the each-line-separate thing.

In the schedule, it’ll show all the major bus stops for a given bus line, and when the bus gets to each one. If you’ll be getting on at a stop in between two major stops, make sure you get there by the time the bus is due to arrive at the closest previous stop; that way you won’t miss the bus, even if you have to wait a few minutes.

If all you have is the map, you can still ride around and explore. Start early in the day, so you don’t run out of buses. (Different buses will stop running at different times; some run only during commute hours, some stop running around eight or ten pm, or midnight. Occasionally there’ll be a major route or two that runs all night, but those are rare.)

So, say you want to go to the mall. Look on your map and figure out what line or lines you have to take to get there. Maybe the 14 runs by your house, and crosses the route of the 65, which runs to the mall. Find a bus 14 stop, make sure you’re on the right side of the street (that is, make sure you’re getting on the bus in the right direction) then catch the next 14 that goes by. When you get on, you can tell the driver you want to transfer to the 65. He/she will often call out that stop, so you’ll know when to get off. (You might also be able to get a transfer, which is cheaper than paying two fares.) Keep an eye out yourself for the 65, though, because some drivers won’t help you out, or forget. (Like any large group of people, some drivers are jerks, although most are cool.) Look on your map and see what street the 65 is on, when it crosses the 14 route. Watch for that street. When you get to it, ring the bell to get off the bus.

If you see the stop or street you want a little late, the bus might pass the stop you wanted. That’s okay — so long as you rang the bell, it’ll stop at the next stop, and you can just walk back.

Find the stop for the 65, and make sure you’re on the right side, etc. Take the next one that comes by, and get off at the mall. Tah-dah! Do it in reverse when you’re ready to come home.

Try not to press your luck in the evening until you’re comfortable with navigating the routes, or have ridden a certain bus often enough that you’re sure you know exactly when it comes by the stops you want. Missing the last bus and getting stranded sucks; I’ve walked home a few miles more than once, after missing a last bus. Make sure you know when the last bus is going to go by when you’re away from home, and plan on taking the one before that, at the latest. That way, if you miss it, or if the bus doesn’t come (sometimes they break down), you still have another shot.

Bring a book or something; you’ll get used to waiting at bus stops. And once you’re familiar with a route, and know by heart when to get off — when you know about how long you’ll be riding, so you can look out the window and recognize a landmark half a block or so from the stop you want, so you can ring the bell — you can read on the bus, too.

This sounds like a lot, but you get used to it fast. I’ve been riding buses since I was younger than you — I’ve never learned to drive, so any getting around I want to do near home is on the bus — and once you’re used to it, it’s not hard at all. 🙂

Have fun!

Angie

Why should this surprise anyone?

We have people who still want to be on their parents’ health insurance until they’re 26. And we wonder why they are afraid to take a bus or subway when they’re 16?

I’m honestly not trying to politicize this, but ye Gods! You have to get them ready for the apron strings to be cut at some point, and our society keeps making it harder and harder to do that.

I grew up in an area without public transportation and had never been on a bus before either. When I was 17 I went to a prospective students weekend in Chicago. I bought my own plane ticket, planned how to take a subway and bus to the university. But when I got out of the subway, I couldn’t find the bus stop. I was lost, but I had a backup plan, which was simply to take a taxi, and everything was fine. My parents were pretty uninvolved in this trip, which was before cell phones. I can’t remember if I even called them while I was away, or if they just picked me up at the airport at the scheduled time. in any case, everything was fine. you can do it!

When you get on the bus, make sure to look around at the other riders. You will see that there is nothing extraordinary about them. You might see someone who looks absolutely, frighteningly brilliant…but probably not. Look at them again and then tell yourself, “If THEY can figure out the bus system, so can I.”

This advice is useful in any number of situations.

Lenore is right; if you just do it you’ll soon discover that it’s no big deal.

The summer I was 14 I went to Europe with my mom and my 12 year old sister. My mom has a terrible sense of direction so I was the navigator: car, bus, train, metro – whatever way we were traveling that day. After a few days in Paris I was moving through the metro stations so quickly that I had to slow down or risk losing my mom and sister. The confidence I gained on the trip stayed with me and has proven very useful. When I was 20 and on a college trip to Mexico I was the only student who felt comfortable taking the bus (20 cents) instead of a taxi ($2). Once I did miss my stop but the thing about buses (and subways) is that if you just stay on them you’ll eventually wind up back where you started (and as a bonus I got a really cheap tour of the city ;).

Take some snacks and a water. My sister learne to stock her car with snacks because she moved to a new town for a short period of time (as an adult) and kept getting lost on her way home from work. She would take a different route each day to avoid traffic but ended up learning her way around her new town. The only problem was she was always hungry!

Don’t beat yourself up. I’m 43 and have never ridden the city bus in my hometown and I’ve lived here on and off since I was 17 (I do occasionally use the university buses). I have no idea how to do it. I’m sure I could figure it out if I had to but it isn’t something I have any interest in doing just to do.

I have, however, taken public transportation – buses, trains and subways – in several major US cities and foreign countries. The worst that ever happened was I got stuck spending the night in the Pisa train station because I misread a sign and missed my train (although my 7 year old leaving her backpack on the bus in Auckland sucked too).

If you want to do it, just go for it. You seem like a smart guy who can figure it out.

Start by going with a friend or someone around your age. Prepare and have a backup plan.

I was 15 when my mom let me take the bus by myself, in safe, friendly Eugene, Oregon. I’m 32 now. I totally got lost.

I was supposed to be meeting my boyfriend downtown, at a store called the Caddy Corner, which I thought was random, but whatever. Possibly everyone else already sees where this is going.

Naturally I couldn’t find the golf shop, because there wasn’t one. We were supposed to be meeting at a game shop catty-corner to something else.

I don’t remember how I got unlost… But I remember one big difference between childhood/adolescence then and now. I was worried about a lot of things: where my boyfriend was, my mom freaking out, what the hell I was supposed to do next and how embarrassing it was not to know my way around downtown Eugene after living there my whole life.

I was NOT worried about being kidnapped, murdered, raped etc in broad daylight the way my overprotective mom worried would happen if she let me take the bus. In spite of the fact that any of those things were more likely then, in the mid 90’s than they are today, they were STILL incredibly unlikely, and worrying about that sort of thing was just not normal.

I agree, what’s the worst thing that can happen? When I was a kid, I had to take the bus to my optometrist while my parents were at work. I missed my stop a couple of times – only to find that the next stop was a shopping mall, yippee! Then I handled my business (and a little fun) and came back on another bus – the express – that didn’t stop at the place I was supposed to get off. No problem – all buses go to the “bus barn” at the end of the night, and I knew my way home from there on foot. 😉 And that was long before the days of cell phones. Go for it!

Whenever I move to a new area, I take an afternoon to get lost. It’s the absolute best way to get your bearings in a new neighborhood. Do it on foot, even. Trust me, you’ll find your way home. Give yourself a few hours so there’s no stress for time. You’ll find out which are the major thoroughfares and the best cross-streets. You’ll spot the closest laundromats, grocery stores, liquor stores, gas stations, banks, dry cleaners, tiny produce shops, “Cheers”-like bars, ethnic eateries, coffee houses, and dog groomers. You may even meet some of your neighbors out on their porches. Smile at strangers you pass.

Hi J. I can imagine how it seems like a scary thing when you haven’t done it before. I took buses with my mom all the time when I was a kid, so when I got to middle school, my parents had no problem letting me bike and bus all over town.

Still, I did get nervous when I had to travel on the metro in Rome and the waterbuses in Venice, because when I started, I had no clue how the system there worked. But that resolved itself after a couple of days of travel.

You’ll never learn if you don’t try. Maybe try a bus route you’ve driven with your parents in the car, so you know the buildings and street names?

Man up, J. It’s not that hard. You just have to do it. The one piece of advice I’ll give is not to take the bus the first time in order to get to a job interview on time. Heh. Getting lost a few times is part and parcel of it. So block off enough time. Remember two things: it’s well within your abilities; and most people will be happy to help you.

Think of it as a game. I’ve gotten lost on buses before, and getting unlost is kinda fun actually. You get to see places you didn’t expect, and putting together how you got there and how to get back is more fun than the puzzles you can do on your floor.

Seriously, getting lost is just ending up somewhere you didn’t expect. There will probably be people there, going about their lives, you just won’t know them. Asking people for directions is well within the list of things that most folks don’t get bothered by, especially if it’s a cheerful young person asking.

I remember one day long ago (cue the mists of time) when I was 18 and in my junior year of college. My high-school girlfriend was a senior and going on a class trip to Rome. I was at college in Wales so I took the train down there from Amsterdam to see her. One day I met her at Ostia Antica and we managed to peel off for a private conversation. After a little while, a few of the other kids got separated from the group as well, and they were hysterical and crying by the time they ran into us.

I told them don’t worry so much and they said “That’s easy for you to say!” Yes, yes it was. Though they were actually the exact same age as I, it was very easy for me to say. I got there on my own in the first place.

Here V and I were trying to get lost, in possibly the coolest, most romantic place on earth to get lost, and here they were not appreciating how fabulous this was. I tried to explain how wonderful this was for them, and how their experience of antiquity could now be unmediated and mysterious, but they weren’t buying it at all.

I had to help those pampered kids find their way back to the bus. My cover was blown. Ruined my afternoon.

Don’t be those kids.

Everyone started off scared and apprehensive at one point. But a soon as they take those first crucial steps, we all realized it was not such a big deal after all. And we found courage, and even excitement to experience it again. Many of us here grew up in the 70s and 80s. A time where it was very normal to see 6,7,8 year olds out and about playing with one another. Back then other parents or adults (strangers) kept an eye out for other children, not just there own. So we knew that if we got lost, we could ask an adult for help. Of course we also learned to know who was bad and who wasn’t. (ie. getting us to go off with them, rather than just telling us). I was 5 years old when I first started taking public transit with my parents (didn’t own a car at that time). So my parents taught us the system. I memorized the routes. And having been walking to school and back on my own from the age of 6, I gained more confidence in traveling on my own or with friends. So by the time I was 10, I was already taking public transit on my own. It doesn’t matter how old you are. What’s important is that you learn. Once you learn, a whole new world opens up to you. Including finding your own self, and what you are very capable of doing, despite what you are told. Sometimes, just because their your parents, doesn’t make them always right. When parents become overly protective of their children, they tend to steer them in the wrong direction. Not because they don’t love them, just that fear over powers their better judgement.

My suggestion, find someone you know who’s taken public transit and is familiar and comfortable with it. It doesn’t have to be an adult, it could be a friend or an older brother or sister. Travel with them a couple of times. Ask them questions (don’t ever feel stupid asking questions you don’t know the answers to…that’s why we ask questions…to learn). In those trips, grab a map/bus route to look over when you get home. And when you feel brave enough (its ok to be a little nervous, you get over it), take a trip on your own. Pick a destination where you want to go (the Library, the Museum, the Mall), then map out a route to that destination and go. I found it fun taking public transit when I was a kid. Not so much now as an adult. Which you will learn about Rush Hour as you get older. lol But for now, enjoy.

The sense of pride and accomplishment you’ll feel after getting yourself “unlost” will be awesome! Go for it!

With all the technology available to help you find your way you’ll probably either make it to your destination just as planned, or find your way there very quickly after getting lost.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help either – people are way more friendly and helpful than you’d imagine them to be.

Good luck, and HAVE FUN!

A month or so after I first got my license, I had to drive myself to a choir rehearsal on some college campus I wasn’t completely familiar with. I knew how to get there from the few other times I had driven there, but to my surprise, the main highway near the campus was closed for road construction. My GPS wasn’t helping me, so I called my mom and asked her to give me directions. I got there, a bit late, but in one piece. After the rehearsal, I got in my car and went back home. When I got there, my mom flipped a lid because I hadn’t called her on my way back, and she was just positive that I had gotten hopelessly lost again and was never getting home. My dad actually had to yell at her and tell her it was a *good* thing I had gotten lost-I had come out of it okay, didn’t I?

Actually, it’s pretty simple, kiddo.
Just find someone your own age who actually does, (or knows how to) take the bus.
That way it’s cool. No fuss. No adults. No embarrassment.

@Julie – you should have met my grandfather -he sounds like your type 🙂 . Amazingly poor sense of direction too -he once walked into the bush near his farm for a few hours of hunting and wound up walking out seven days later a hundred km away! And he was famous for driving the wrong way up one way streets. Great fun to travel with….:-)

@J, like everyone is saying, no shame in needing to learn something new. I came from a one-horse town and didn’t learn to use ‘real’ buses -as opposed to the school ones – until I moved to the city as a 16 year old. Didn’t actually learn how to cross a busy road until then either, and gotta say I found that much scarier, so I bet you’re one-up on me!

And getting lost really is fun – it’s the best way to find little places in your own backyard that you never knew existed. So go and have a great time, and please let us know how it went 🙂

To the commenter who complained that some people “want to be on their parent’s insurance until age 26”. This may not be a choice issue.

I earned my MS and PhD over 8 years, age 23-31. During none of that time was there a school-related policy available to me. I earned a whopping 10K/year as a research or teaching assistant and private insurance would have cost me more than half of my salary. I went uninsured through graduate school – and was lucky to not have gotten in a car accident. That was eight years that I spent one medical event away from bankruptcy.

It is amazing what KIDS (people really) can do when they need to be resourceful.

I am reminded of the a friend’s Mom’s story during WWII. Through one thing and another she was forced to make her way alone, at the age of 8, from one Czech town to another. When she arrived home in the 2nd town, she found it was unsafe for her to stay there and she made her way, again alone, to Budapest to a sibling where she spent the war as a “mute” housemaid to hide her accent. I’m sure she got lost many many times before she landed safely in Budapest.

At the age of 8!! There are many more stories like this about the bravery and resourcefulness of children in the face of adversity.

I love Lenore’s comment — don’t worry if you get lost! You will get unlost one way or another.

Not all who wander are lost.

Try it and see where you go.

Hey there…my 14 year old started using the bus at 11 and what we learned was a) start with short predictable trips b) spend plenty of time exploring your local bus company’s website c)don’t be afraid to ask the driver if you need help or are unsure and d) just always have extra money for an additional fare if you do get lost (or just buy a pass).

My kids started young, I however didn’t take my first bus until I was 23 (I grew up in a rural area without public transit – and I was terrified!), so don’t feel alone. How wonderful that you are ready for some responsible independence. Have fun exploring.

Being from LA I’d never ridden a bus, and was terrified. But when I moved to DC it became clear that riding the bus was the best way to get around the city. I studied the route, memorized where to get off and bravely stepped on. But, my stop never came. Turns out, the bus driver had gotten lost. I eventually made it to where I needed to go and don’t think I was even late. Now I ride all over NYC by subway and bus with my three kids.

J-don’t be afraid. i started riding the bus alone in my city (Gary, IN) when I was 13 to go back and forth from my grandmother’s house home. The best thing you can do is to get the bus schedule, as much change as you need, and take different routes to different end points to see where and how to navigate the system. Take a Saturday-see if the bus system where you live has a day pass or free transfers. As other poster have mentioned, it will build your confidence if you are aware of different paths the bus can take you, and it will open up your world. Good luck!

I have been taking public transportation by myself since I was nine. That doesn’t mean that I have never been lost… once, well into my 20s, I was in Italy and taking a bus back to the train station in another town when I saw the bus making a wrong turn and screamed for the driver to stop. He stopped and he explained that this bus route has two options – once an hour it goes to the train station, and once an hour it does not. This was not the train station bus. It just hasn’t occurred to me to ask my hosts about this, since I (wrongly) assumed all buses go to the train station. My options were to either go back to the previous stop and wait some 40 minutes for the next bus or just walk over to the train station, about a mile and a half away. I opted to walk and made it there way before the next bus would. 🙂

Being 16, I assume you are getting ready to drive? Aren’t you afraid of getting lost when driving? Happens to the best of us. I have great sense of direction, yet once I got distracted and missed my exit in an area where I have just moved to and wasn’t familiar with. I did make it back to where I needed to be – but it took me extra 40 minutes and 20 miles of going around because I stuck with major roadways only. There is no such “lost” that can’t be un-lost.

The only important thing is not to make your first trip be a really, really important trip. Being an hour late to a job interview, for example, would go beyond embarrassing and into “blew my chances” territory – so better take a bus for the first time now, when you have plenty of time to spare and not going anywhere important so you CAN get lost and get unlost. Good luck!

As a former Tranist bus driver, as well as Mom to 2 young girls (aged 6 and 11), I find it so important to teach kids how to get around their town town, how to look for land marks and most important how to talk to people and how ask correct questions. It is so important that we all know (no matter of age or experience)how to get lost and found, how to ask for help and how to try to do something on our own. I say go for it. Take a friend, do some homework, make it an adventure 🙂

I went from a small, sheltered life to Rutgers University, where the only way of getting around is their inter-campus bus system. It terrified me, but one day I climbed on. Student groups post all their fliers on the roof of the bus, and I saw one for RAZI the Rutgers Association For Zionism in Israel. I didn’t even know what that was. I realized there is a whole world out there, and by taking small risks outside of my comfort zone, I was opening up that whole world to me. The busses became my best friend.

Started taking the bus to grandma’s house at age 4. Yes 4. 40 minutes, in Los Angeles (through LAX no less) Loved the bus. Sat in the front seat with all my vital info in a note pinned to my shirt. My parents told the driver where I was getting off. Grandma was waiting at the stop. When I was 6, my then 4 year old sister started riding with me. Was fascinated with the fare box.

Go kid! You can do this!

The key is realizing that it’s really ok to ask strangers for directions. It’ll be awkward at first. There’s a chance people won’t know or won’t want to tell you. But take the time to look around, search for a friendly, reassuring face – and just ask politely how to get where you want to go.

Do this just for practice a few times, to get comfortable with it. It’s a key life skill, and there’s no way to learn it other than to just do it!

Little by little, you’ll start to realize “hey wait, most people are really willing to help!” It changes the whole way you look at strangers.

You can do it!

Still getting lost at 41! In cities where I live or which I’m visiting and in other countries! It’s the best way to get to know the place to which you moved IMO. Awesome way to find new and incredible places, too!
Just watch, look around, and ask some friendly-looking people to help you get to where you want to go!
Grab some dollar bills, hop on the first bus you see and go across town and back. (Don’t forget your cellphone though so you can call someone in case of real trouble. Free-range does not mean you should ignore common sense.)

I grew up in a small town without public buses. I moved to Alaska and we had limited bus public bus service so I learned the basics but there were only 2 lines and it was really hard to get lost on it. Then I lived in a bunch of states without public transportation and finally moved to Seattle when I was in my late 20s. That’s where I first learned to embrace public transportation and since then I’ve used it successfully when travelling including in Ireland. You’re never too old to learn to use public transportation! And once you have it is a great tool!

I didn’t read all the comments, so apologies if someone already said this.

I’m curious as to the writer’s location. I grew up in a small town with absolutely no public transportation (unless you count those big yellow school buses! LOL), and I was “free range” before free range was a thing (one of those kids who left on my bike in the morning, came home for lunch, and went out again until dinner). But when I moved to the big city for college at 18, I had absolutely no idea how to ride a city bus. This was because there had never been any reason for me to, and honestly my parents probably never had to ride a city bus, and their parents probably didn’t either.

Forget the subway. I was never taught this and can’t bring myself to risk getting lost.

OK … don’t risk getting lost. Systematically explore the system at a time when you don’t need to be anywhere specific. You aren’t “lost” you are just at a “new and surprising location”. OK?

I used to take my nephews onto the BART (San Francisco area subways) and we would ride one or more lines from end to end, then get off at the station close to their house. Cheap thrills.

I used the Seoul Korea subway system despite not knowing any Korean. They had labels in English on most things. And the mexico city system, which is HUGE.

http://www.korea-hotel-reservations.com/seoul_subway_map.html

There are a few tricks:
Remember the name of the station closest to your home by the stop name and the line name and the color if they use color coding. My hotel in Seoul was on the orange line and the closest stop was a University … really easy. My usual hotel in Mexico City was near the subway stop for the Cathedral (and anyone in DF could find the cathedral for me)

Buy a daily or weekend pass for this exploring (if they have them) so you don’t have to worry about exact change. Or one of those electronic tickets you can add money to. I managed to buy a pass in Seoul from a man who spoke no English, just using pointing.

Then set yourself a task with an easy to find goal: Assuming you are in New York, find Wall street. Find the Met Opera house.

It’s easy, it’s just a different kind of navigation.

From age 11 until I graduated from high school, I took the bus – meaning public transportation, not a school bus – to school and back. Alone. Every day. Most of the kids in my school did likewise (this was in Finland, school buses don’t exist there). I truly fail to see why this would be a big deal. This was in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s, so we couldn’t just call mom for help, cell phones didn’t exist yet.

Taking the bus is easy. If you miss your stop, you can either walk a few blocks or just grab another bus headed in the opposite direction. If you feel unsure of yourself, just tell the driver where you want to get off the bus, and they’ll announce your stop when you get to it. They get requests like that all the time and they’re very used to it. If you somehow get well and truly lost, just ask the driver how to get back home, they’ll almost certainly be able to give you good directions.

Before age 11, we lived closer to school, so I walked to school and back every day. Alone. For 1-2 miles. Through the snow, during winter months. But not uphill both ways, that was for earlier generations than mine!

Getting lost is annoying but no big deal. It won’t kill you, so you can rest assured that you’ll muddle through somehow, even if you don’t know exactly how. 🙂

SD! I love your comment! I do that too, and it makes all my traveling and journeys more exciting and interesting! Who doesn’t love adventure?? 😉

If you get lost, all you have to do is ask someone for directions. You won’t get lost forever. But I can see how that can be paralyzing if you have been taught the whole “stranger danger” spiel.

“Isn’t map reading and navigating public transit one of the fundamental skills which should be taught to all children in school?”

It certainly SHOULD be. But I guess they’re too busy teaching kids things like “Don’t ever draw a picture of a bomb.”

I learned to read maps from video games. I learned to navigate public transit by just doing it.