Mom Forced Off Bus for Crying Toddler

That was a very unsympathetic driver! Wow. I can’t imagine walking with three bags and a screaming toddler. I’d have done much more than write a letter.

I’m not saying that the parent here should be blamed, but if the screaming was particularly loud why should the rest of the bus have to deal with the issue? Just because the mother has no control over this particular tantrum doesn’t mean she isn’t responsible for it, and if her responsibility was creating an unwanted environment on the bus then the driver had every right to ask her to leave.

I call out the other bus riders. In the city of Montreal, people still lend a helping hand in these cases, theer is always someone trying to make silly faces to calm the child down. or help the mom with the three bags and no stroller…

Just so you know, not all of us ‘up here in Canada’ side with the driver. Although I know it can be difficult to concentrate with a toddler is having a meltdown in the vehicle, a professional driver needs to be able to block out these distractions and safely transport all their passengers to their destinations.

This is completely unfair. I remember having to ride the bus with my children and sometimes they just cried and there was no consoling them. If I had been kicked off all the buses, I’d have never gotten anything done. I think it’s also symptomatic of people just thinking kids should be seen and not heard, and practically disappearing from public eye. Granted, people shouldn’t just let their kids act a fool, but when people have no choice but to travel in public with their children, its a serious handicap to think you’ll be removed from your only mode of transportation because your kid is crying.

However, I do believe whenever possible that people with inconsolable, crying children should leave a room to avoid disrupting others. Children should learn and be expected to behave in public. But even then, the thing about kids is that they’re little people, not robots and no one can control anyone every second of every day.

Although I don’t necessarily agree with the driver forcing her off (although from what we told it wasn’t “dark, bad neighborhood, medical issue” so maybe we don’t need to get too hysterical) I can see why he might have done it. Buses in the town I live in have rules posted including no excessive noise and I’ve seen teenagers kicked off for playing music too loud/generally being too loud. Perhaps it’s a rule the driver is asked to implement?

This summer I got off the tram several stops early with my 4 year old when she had a meltdown while we were traveling home. No one requested we get off but I felt it unfair to force people to listen to her screaming very loudly in such a small space. I figured she’d cry it out at the stop and we’d hop on the next tram. Turns out getting off at a stop that wasn’t ours was enough to stop the tantrum anyway! I realise that doesn’t work if you’re in a hurry or it is “dark, bad neighborhood” etc but it worked for us in that instance.

I’m struck most by the lack of compassion by every single person on that bus who allowed this woman and child to be kicked off the bus. Weren’t there any other parents there wiling to speak out against this driver’s unfair decision? To recognize that children, particularly toddlers, cry for a myriad of reasons, and that they are all a valid and natural form of expression? My heart goes out to the mom and child who were forced off a bus when their resources were already at a low ebb.

@Terena, the article says that she had support from other passengers, so there were people objecting to the driver’s actions.

I regularly travel by bus, and an incessantly screaming toddler is a rarity compared to motor-mouthed adults with volume control issues. None of them get thrown off of the bus.

The most persistent issue I’ve encountered was a large group of middle school students who would get onto an occupied but mostly silent bus and start singing, swearing, and using vulgar language so loud that I couldn’t even read. No one kicked them off–but I could tell which school they went to, and wrote to their principal about their behavior. After that the kids were much quieter.

It makes me terrifically sad to read that many support the driver. My kids are 7 and 5 now so they don’t “throw fits” so often. But when they were littler, and they did, I stuck up for them by not feeling ashamed of them when they did. Yes of course I noticed the other adults around and within my power I did all I could to be considerate of their feelings, too.

I ride the bus a lot and so far have had very positive experiences with drivers and other passengers (and where I live the bus is mostly for the poverty-line peeps – not commuters). Two exceptions some to mind: one time a couple years ago driver spoke rudely to my 3 year old son who was having trouble vaulting over a 2′ snow drift to get in the door (she was angry or anxious, I think, because the rare snow had delayed buses that day). I said, “He is only three years old, and he’s doing it as best he can”.

The other time happened more recently: http://kelly.hogaboom.org/?p=4850

I have to say, speaking up for my kids was a good thing in the latter case. The woman has been very friendly to us since – & I to her. I do think sticking up for our children’s rights – especially when we are firm, direct, and well-spoken – can often yield better results for all.

@just me, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, if a person is so noise-sensitive that a crying toddler is distracting them from their job, maybe they shouldn’t take a job driving a public bus. As others have said, I’ve heard far noisier/more distracting things on buses.

This driver reminds me of some people in my neighborhood, who like to complain about how loud the train is. Ummm, correct me if I’m wrong, but I think the train was running through the neighborhood before you moved in. You choose to live next to the tracks, you deal with the noise.

You choose to take a job as a bus driver, you better be ready to deal with some distractions.

this may not be spot-on a free-range issue, but it’s part of a larger one: parenting in public. Parenting in public – involving the public at large in your parenting merely by exposing your children to the world in which you live rather than shielding them from it – has been a topic in liberatory parenting for a very long time, and is connected to the best advice for parents ever:

Have ’em. Love ’em. Leave ’em alone.

Wow, It’s interesting to see the views of others on this issue.

Now, lets switch it around. If the father was with or the only person with the child would he have been kicked off too or would someone on the bus attempted to get the little one’s attention before he was kicked off?

I find it interesting because in my experience if my toddler has a melt down in the store or anywhere I get all eyes on me and giving me looks. However, if it happens to my husband women tend to flock to him trying to help him out.

Raising children is not easy. A toddler does not have to have anything WRONG or a PROBLEM to have a melt down. Sometimes it happens for no reason or logical reason at all. I can’t believe this bus driver kicked her off. Talk about a stressful situation becoming more stressful. I’m glad they gave her some tickets and said sorry.

Interesting conversation. Random notes from someone who has spent a lot of time on public transit (note to everyone – when you start having dreams about being naked on the Metro it is time to air up the tires on the bicycle.) I agree with Kate; screaming babies are a part of the experience, but middle-school kids who cannot speak a complete sentence in the English language without loudly using both the “n” word and the “mf” word are something we can live without, and the driver should put them out at the curb. Of course, those brats are scary and might be armed so the riders and drivers try very hard to ignore them. Which is condoning antisocial behavior, but it’s also a self-preservation measure so….

Adults who are off their meds and are looking for converts to their particular religious or political worldview are another joy of public transit. It does no good to ignore them. I’ve found it works wonders to agree with them whole-heartedly to the point of saying “Wow, Jesus is coming? That is great news, I need help painting the house.” Nothing freaks out (and calms down) a crazy person like finding out they are on a bus with someone crazier than they are.

As far as the “If you don’t like it, buy a car” crowd goes… ummmm, words acceptable in polite company fail me. We need more public transportation – trust me on this, I live in Houston, where we have spent decades proving that no matter how many times we widen the freeway there will be more cars than the road can handle because the bus system draws a vacuum. Fast, efficient and frequent (none of which apply to Houston Metro) is the answer – not “oh, if you don’t like the bus buy a car.” And who wants to be on the road with a single mom who, because she has been downsized and is broke needs a brake job, and who has a screaming toddler in the baby seat? Sorry, I’d rather have her on the bus (even in the seat next to me) than trying to drive with that kind of distraction.

Funny, there was a case recently in Halifax where the driver booted a kid off for being noisy and distracting, and he was seen as the devil.

Why? Because apparently, the kid is autistic and “can’t help it”

Just like a 20 month old I’d imagine. Actually, I’d imagine the 20 month old is less able to control herself.

Public transit is public, and occasionally includes a loud child. Considering the local drivers are on their cell phones and eating while driving in rush hour traffic, I fail to see how a child can be any more distracting that those activities.

I think it’s horrible. What the bus driver did was was so lacking in empathy. I can’t believe people are defending that.

It’s interesting that there are a lot of proclamations about how it takes a village to raise a child, and how kids are in the world and people have to put up with them. These comments are paired with assertions that other people don’t have a right to tell ME how to parent! So which is it? Are other people allowed to be involved, or not? You can’t have your cake and eat it to. And you can’t be right all the time. I agree with the above, that parents are able to block out all the noise their children make and they don’t remember that people without kids don’t have this ability, so the noise their kids are making is downplayed in their heads.

Stuff like this is happens because of how age segregated our society is.People who aren’t parents simply don’t have much experience with kids these days, of any age, and so they have unreasonable expectations. As a new mom i find this particularly frustrating, but I’m starting to say “f you” to the non-parents who think I should spend the next 5+ years of my life sequestered in my home because I have baby who may occasionally be unconsolable.

I’m a non parent who is around kids all the time and absolutely love them. I don’t expect parents to be sequestered. But I also don’t expect to deal with a screaming child just because they happen to be inconsolable that day. Doesn’t being a parent mean that sometimes your plans have to change, because you’re in charge of a whole other human being, and you have to take their needs and wants into consideration? Like the commenter above pointed out, a movie theatre is a public place, but there are certain expectations of certain public places. Buses in Victoria have signs indicating you should be polite with your noise level, in consideration of your fellow passengers. It shouldn’t matter if that noise is loud cell phone talking, screaming baby, obnoxious music….loud is loud, and this seems like a noise issue, not a parenting issue. But I have noticed that parents tend to get very, very defensive and make it about parenting or themselves when in fact it’s actually about other people.

Before I had my license (I don ´t know about the US, but it ´s quite expensive here), I once met a bus driver who told me strollers weren ´t allowed. If the bus made a sudden jerk, the stroller would become a projectile and could hurt someone, you see. I had 20 and 4 month-old babies, plus the diaper bag, my handbag and a couple of grocery bags as well.
Well, I ´m happy to say that before I could reply, people who were standing in line, waiting to board, caught my bags, the stroller and even tried to pick the eldest up and boarded the bus with all of that. The poor driver had to accept the mutiny, although he mumbled all the way…
By the way, I never heard anyone complaining about the noise my kids make (and believe me, they are REALLY noisy). Mostly they find them funny and cute, and seniors start complaining about how you never get to see children around anymore. Yay, I love my town.

I side with the driver. A parent can’t be expected to keep their children under control ALL the time, but a good attempt should be made. Watching your kid screaming “NO NO NO” is not a good attempt. It’s not an attempt at all. It’s just bad parenting.

I’ve always been baffled at how many American parents let their children run wild and act like general nuisances.

No, I don’t have children, but my mother and all my relatives with children don’t and didn’t tolerate this kind of behavior. My mother just had to shoot us a cold look and we know if we didn’t shut up we’d be in serious trouble after we go home. If a parent doesn’t have at least that much hold on their children, they need to learn how to be better parents or keep their kids out of the public.

Delphine- At what point was it said that the mother just sat there? Obviously you don’t have children, and it sounds as though you have a little problem with Americans as well. I doubt if a cold look will calm down a cranky 18 month old, and just because you have relatives with kids doesn’t mean you know the first thing about parenting. This driver was in the wrong. Every parent has at least one moment where their children get the best of them.

This is a sign of our child intolerant society. It would never happen in Mexico. The bus company needs to evaluate their policies on this and not just dump a mother and a crying baby with a bunch of stuff out on the street.

I see there’s another Jan here, I’d better add something to my sign in name. How about Jan S?

I should also note that though my oldest child never had a melt down on the bus or subway, I always made a point of paying her fare, even when I wasn’t required to, so that no one could complain ( though they tried ) when she took up a seat. I’m talking about when she was about 3 and 4 and too big for my lap.

I once had a cop tell me I couldn’t let her take up a seat, though he shup up quick when I pointed out that she had paid her two bucks just like everyone else.

Tony, but is it fair to expect this woman to get off the bus? What I want to know is where exactly did this driver let her off? At another stop? In the middle of the route? How did he expect her to get home? What if she didn’t have change? Obviously that isn’t really his problem, but it says something about our society that no one cares as long as they don’t have to hear it anymore. Getting off the bus isn’t as easy as leaving a restaurant or a store.

My mother always kept a roll of Lifesavers in her purse, just for this reason.

And as a parent, I always take the step to help out other hapless parents (because I’ve been there myself) by trying to play a game or otherwise engage children who are having a difficult time. A simple game of peek-a-boo from a smiling stranger can cure a lot of ills.

But we’re so busy not getting involved with the person sitting next to us (“It’s not MY kid!”) that nobody bothers to try to help until someone does something outrageous.

For all those insisting that this mother should have been able to control this toddler, please explain exactly HOW. Short of actual child abuse, I can’t think of anything guaranteed to work for this age child. You can’t tell a 1 or 2 year old that they will be in big trouble when they get home and expect them to actually understand you – that’s the way to get an older child to behave. So seriously, what are these secret ways of stopping a tantrum? You’d be doing all of us parents a great service by please clueing us in.

If screaming children can be kicked off a bus, then shouting adults on cell phones should be kicked off as well.

My Indian husband just shakes his head at our society and it lack of family-friendliness.

Susan, as others have said, what if you need to get groceries? What if you need to take the bus to a doctor’s appointment? Things happen, babies cry. Most parents are reasonable and try their best to avoid babies crying in public, but it’s gonna happen. DEAL. Having an expectation that no child in public cry ever is telling parents that they can’t leave their house. And therefore can’t eat, can’t buy clothes, can’t visit friends, can’t celebrate anything, can’t go to the doctor.

Let’s just lock up all the parents with small children. That’s a great idea. THen they’ll never annoy anyone.

Absolutely ridiculous. Sorry, but people (even paying customers on public transport) do not have a right to not be annoyed. We really don’t have that right anywhere when dealing with other people, even our own families. Sometimes you get the slow cashier, or the table next to the screaming kid. It’s life. Deal.

@gramomster Nothing irritates ME more than smug parents who think nobody else knows anything about children.

@Susan: But don’t you think getting off the bus is a bit much? She was on her way home, where, hopefully, her child would be soothed best. I think it would only make matters worse for this little girl (baby really – a one year old) to delay her getting home. I hope that this mom was doing all that she could to keep her calm and quiet and soothe her, as she said in teh article. I’m sure that a quick return home was in her head, too.
And of course, what if the little girl didn’t stop crying by the time the next bus came? or the bus after that? We all know that kids can cry for a long time, especially when they are out of their element. All this mom wanted to do was get her daughter back home.

@ Nicole There is no indication she was heading home. In fact, it says she was heading from UVic to downtown – there aren’t many people who live downtown, and given that her husband is a professor at the University it’s more likely that she was heading *from* home. It doesn’t sound to me like she was heading home to sooth her child.

I’m not even really arguing that the driver was 100% right. But a lot of people are saying that it’s a public place, kids cry, and therefore everyone else has to just deal with the noise. Which implies that YOU chose to have a kid, and other people have to be inconvenienced by the behaviour of that child, but you don’t have to be inconvenienced at all. That seems to be the real thrust of the argument “it takes a village, so everyone has to just get used to my child screaming in public”. I disagree with how many of you are arguing the situation, but don’t necessarily disagree with your conclusion.

Wow, this struck a nerve with me, since my baby is going through a stage where the Car Seat IS The Debbil and nothing in the world can stop him crying when I put him in that seat– except taking him out of it. And we have a 45 minute ride from home to my work and his daycare. His misery is more horrible to me than anything I experienced in 10 years of riding public transit.

Susan’s comment: “Doesn’t being a parent mean that sometimes your plans have to change, because you’re in charge of a whole other human being, and you have to take their needs and wants into consideration?”

In this context scares the living daylights out of me. Susan appears to believe that *just staying* whereever one is when your child has a meltdown– not going home, or to work and day care, or to the doctor’s– is always an option. For that matter, a hospital or a doctor’s office is also a public place; you can *expect* to be protected from loud children there all you want, but it ain’t gonna happen. Maybe in Victoria people primarily use public transit for pleasure jaunts and don’t *need* to take public transit.

It seems to me that there is a very strong connection between the stifling of free range kids and the desire of certain people to be protected from experiencing children’s behavior at any cost.

@Susan: The part in the article where she said she would “have to carry her child home a considerable distance” indicated to me that she was headed home. The bags also implied that, as in she was going home after running errands. But who knows.

And I agree, that parents do have to adjust their lives. I have 10 month old twins and my whole life has been adjusted. For the better, but yes, there are times when I leave some place because my kids are crying. I just think that in this particular instance, leaving the scene (the bus taking her somewhere, soon, and then she’ll get off) is not the right idea.

There has to be a balanace between living in a world with kids that aren’t ours (not an option – we can’t ban birth) and being a parent and making sure you take others into consideration (which parents should do). I think this is a situation where the others could put up with it until she reached her stop. A store, a movie, a restaurant, I would say, definitely, it’s time to go home. (but then how would those people leaving the stores with their crying babies get home?? not on the bus, I guess)

@ Jenne hahahaha, yes, because I was totally saying you should just stay where ever you are. It’s pretty funny to watch my comments being taken totally out of context. You’re seeing what you want to see in them. Again, there is zero indication that she was heading *home* with the child, and every indication that she had just come *from* home (incidentally, UVic is a 6 minute, $5 cab ride from the intersection she got off the bus at. Given that they’re considering buying a car, don’t even try to tell me she couldn’t afford that. Again, another person may not be in the same financial situation, but in this case she didn’t need to walk home. Please.)

There are numerous comments on other news articles from people who were on the bus. Some have written that the child was screaming and yelling (not merely “fussy”) right by the driver. He pulled over and politely indicated that if she continued to scream he couldn’t focus. The woman got off the bus, at which point the child stopped screaming. He then invited her back onto the bus, and she refused.

@LaurelL What does your other stuff you’re doing in the day have to do with this particular situation? That’s your problem if your child screams at you all day, and it has nothing to do with this particular situational argument. I’m trying to point out that the argument “it takes a village” isn’t used when people want help with their child. It’s used when people want others to put up with their child’s behaviour. It’s convenient for her to remain on the bus even with the screaming, and inconvenient for her to get off. She wanted to go with what was more convenient for her, regardless of every other person on that bus, including the driver.

I’ll REPEAT myself.

>>>Which implies that YOU chose to have a kid, and other people have to be inconvenienced by the behaviour of that child, but you don’t have to be inconvenienced at all.<<<

yes, because it's SO convenient to have my child SCREAMING in my ear while I'm also trying to do all the things I HAVE TO DO in a day.

Yanno, we're supposed to be teaching our kids to be self-reliant and deal with situations as they come up. You sound like you want parents to deal with those situations FOR YOU. It's FAR easier for YOU to get off and wait for the next bus, isn't it?

@ LaurelL Wow, your last paragraph really makes no sense. How would a random individual getting off the bus help anyone else around me, including the bus driver?

@ LaurelL It’s not a valid argument because what you do with your child the rest of the day has no bearing on the situational incident described above, i.e. being on a bus with your screaming child. You’re talking about apples while I was talking about oranges.

Now, if I was saying that having a child is easy….well, then it might be a valid point.

Uly See above — she wasn’t heading home.

Did the driver know that? Is it the driver’s job to pick and choose based on people’s destinations?

Also, there are many comments on other news articles, from people on that bus when the incident occured, who said that the child stopped screaming as soon as they got off the bus.

Could the driver have predicted this in advance? No, no he could not.

Everyone seems to be making up facts that doesn’t exist.

So you’re saying that a general principle (excuse kids for being loud in places where you might not have any choice to be) can be altered in case of specific circumstances (I don’t think this woman belonged on a bus, so nyah)?

I mean, you’re assuming that she has a husband at home and is capable of walking distances – she could just as easily have mobility issues, I don’t know. The point is that whether there were extenuating circumstances or not, kicking her off the bus was wrong. Period. It doesn’t matter what she was doing, you’re right – but your conclusion that you draw from that is wrong.

Incidentally, coming up with hypotheticals isn’t “making up facts”. It’s pointing out that your argument cannot be taken generally and is, therefore, flawed.

Let me preface this long rant with the fact that I feel like throwing a crying baby off the bus is outrageous. Now if the kid was not sitting and running up and down the aisle, the bus driver would have had a reason. Otherwise, this is what little ones do on occasion. Parents shouldn’t have to live in a bubble.

That said, is it just me or has anyone else noticed that sometime in the last 10 years or so, there’s been an epidemic of parents bringing their kids places where it was never really acceptable to bring them before? I’ve been to weddings where children were clearly not invited, but people have brought their kids anyway – even parking the stroller at the bar!

My husband and I went to see the King Tut exhibit last year and there were so many toddlers and babies there it was mind boggling. One kid, who couldn’t have been any older than 3 had on the headphones. There is a perfectly good Please Touch museum not far away which would have been so much better for the little ones. I’m not really sure their were appreciating the significance of the chairs and bowls found in Tut’s tomb.

Then there’s the movies. I’ve been to so many movies over the past few years – all 10pm or later showings – and there are BABIES there. BABIES. One was a newborn – couldn’t have been more than a few weeks. What is wrong with people? Yes, parents shouldn’t live in a bubble, but guess what? You will need to change your life a bit. Get a babysitter or stay home and watch a DVD.

I have a 10 month old. He’s been out to lunch with us a few times at family-type restaurants. He did not come with us to our expensive anniversary dinner a few weeks ago. But I’ve been to nice restaurants for late dinners and people bring their little ones and then let them run around like they were at home. Friendly’s got it’s name for a reason. And they have ice cream.

So I ask again, is it just me? Or is there a generation of parents (unfortunately, I they are my generation) who can’t do anything without their children? Kids don’t have to experience everything right now. Some things can and should wait until their older.

So, what I think is that people need to stop being intolerant of children and start being intolerant of the adults in charge of them. I have no problem with a screaming child when the parent is being a parent. I do have a problem with parents that ignore their little darlings. And parents who bring children into situations that they shouldn’t be in in the first place. It might be these parents that have ruined it for the rest of us.

Some things can and should wait until they are older.

Long day.

I see the distracted driver thing, honestly I do – I don’t want a bus driver crashing the bus because he/she was distracted. On the other hand, I find it hard to believe that the screaming kid truly kept him from doing his job. I know driving a bus is harder than driving a minivan, but still, millions of people drive minivans with screaming kids and it doesn’t seem to be causing countless accidents. And I would like to think that if he had asked her to go to the back of the bus so the screaming wasn’t right in his ear, she would have obliged. She would be taking his needs into consideration and he would also be taking her needs into consideration. That’s a society. It seems more likely that this driver was very annoyed by the kid and decided to have them get off teh bus instead of asking her to move to the back. These buses aren’t really small, are they??

Also, what if he was distracted but also, it was pouring raining and dark and not a good neighborhood? Then what should have happened? I’m asking that honestly because it seems the answer should be the same in both situations. Either its a safety hazard to the driver or it isn’t. I guess I personally don’t believe that it is. Otherwise, kids (and other loud people) would be getting kicked off buses left and right and this wouldn’t be in the news because it would be happening every day. But it’s not. And I doubt its because all those other people with screaming kids get off the bus half way to their destination and calm the kid on the street and wait for the next bus.

@Maureen – I think you are on to something. The parents dragging their poor kids to grown-up events does ruin it for the rest of us who take our kids to appropriate places and then manage meltdowns if they happen. If those instances happened less (crying baby at a wedding, in a bar, in a fancy pants restaurant) then I think most people would be more willing to accept crying babies in places like a bus, grocery store or mall, where babies sometimes need to go with their caretaker.

@Susan: I guess I would say he should have asked them to move to the back. I have been on buses in many cities (although not this city) and all were big enough that a kid crying in the back would be audible but not such a distraction that you simply couldn’t drive. Sometimes I wonder how those drivers deal with the screeching tires all day and I suppose the answer is, they get used to it. Maybe he’s a new driver and isn’t used to the occasional crying baby. And buses are so loud in general (all the traffic noise, chattering people, etc.) that someone in the back would be pretty muffled.

My point was simply that crying babies on buses seem like they would be common place (like the “wheels on the bus” song commenter pointed out) so why is that this guy in this situation couldn’t handle it? Maybe it’s less about this mom and her baby and more about this driver??

@ Nicole I too wondered about the driver’s state of mind. I figured he either had no kids and was therefore more effected by the screaming, or he has several kids and just couldn’t handle any more of it. 😉 Most other reports indicated that he was polite and calm, though, which doesn’t seem to match up with that line of thinking. Maybe this driver asks a lot of people to leave the bus, for various reasons?

I take the bus all the time and have actually rarely heard a crying or screaming baby. More often it’s loud cell phone talkers, or swearing teenagers, or obnoxious drunks. Some days I can block it out, and some days I just get off and take the next bus, or *I* would have ended up screaming like a toddler. 🙂

oh yes, let’s give candy to the screaming child – and reinforce that behavior instead of teaching the child that it is unacceptable. It has driven me batty that strangers would give my screaming kid (for whatever reason) candy and didn’t bother to ask me first. I’ve told people off “I do not reinforce bad behavior” and taken the candy away.

As for the child screaming on the bus – envision mother of 2, pregnant with 3rd hoping on the express bus (that does highway travel) with the younger child to go for a doctor’s appointment. Mom gives child a lollipop and proceeds to vegetate. Mom has earbuds in ears but is not listening to her music. Child drops lollipop on the filthy floor and attempts to go after it. Mom stops child. Child has tantrum. Mom gets hit, bit, spit on and kicked by child at the same time as child repeatedly tries to dive after the candy. The driver stops the bus and yells at mom to “stop listening to her (deleted) music and deal with her (deleted) child or get off.” Bus is currently stopped in the middle of nowhere and there is no sidewalk or safe place for pedestrians to walk.
Do you know what mom did?
Mom threatened the driver with his job. He had stopped on a highway in the middle of nowhere and threatened to force the PREGNANT mom off all because the child dropped a lollipop and was having a tantrum. She reminded him loudly that he only had to deal with said child for half an hour, mom had to deal with her longer and if he wanted the child to stop screaming, to get the child a new lollipop to replace the one that drop or shut up about it.
Bus driver got a clue, started to drive again and left mom and child alone for the rest of the ride. I don’t remember if I did a formal complaint, but I would have called the cops if he had made me get off.

Then there was the drunk off his @$$ jerk that screamed at me to put a boob or bottle in the child and shut it up. I will not put in the expletives he used to describe my child or me. I yelled back at him that he was just a little baby (2 or 3 months) to leave us alone and to stfu. I was unable to nurse because it was too crowded and there was no room. The driver stopped the bus and yelled at the… charming man and told him to leave us alone. A few stops later, I get up to get off, the jerk yells at me again, I tell him to eff off and hop off the bus. The doors close as I flipped a bird to the guy as well. He got up, ran to the doors, but I heard the bus driver tell him “don’t even think of it.” I was already on my celphone with 911 dialed. If he had gotten off, I would have hit send.

Then there was this one lady who assaulted me when I was nursing my newborn on the bus. Less than 2 weeks old and I had to see the doctor and she leans over and pulls my breast away from the baby. I’d have taken more offense except she was in ethnic dress and I don’t think she understood English.

I’ve been assaulted on the bus for doing nothing but look “wrong.” I had my eye gouged by another transit user when trying to walk through a busy station to get from the rapid transit to the buses. I’ve been spat on by other passengers and more. It wasn’t so bad when I was a child, but the last decade or so, its as if the average iq of the bus rider has plummeted. Just two weeks ago, I had a driver yell at me for holding up his bus because my youngest had a temper tantrum and we weren’t on the bus when he had to leave. I only have 2 hands and with groceries and 3 kids, I was in no mood. I would have loved him call up his supervisor – I could have had a disability accessibility complaint against him as well.

This case really stirred up the proverbial hornet’s nest! Back when my daughters were small, I used to take them from their grandparents’ house to our home on the bus fairly regularly for about a year. Fortunately, they were past the “Terrible Twos” phase, so they were always welcome aboard the bus, which usually had the same veteran driver every day. One day I was traveling by myself, and the driver asked, “Where are my young ladies today?” So have faith, children will grow out of the “screaming for no apparent reason” phase; just do a good job so they don’t turn into rowdy, foul-mouthed teenagers.

I am also with the MOM, the driver should have been sympathetic.

@Maureen: I absolutely see what you’re saying about parents bringing their kids to all sorts of places they shouldn’t. I really, really don’t get it. When I was a kid, I had a sitter while mom and dad hit the movies.

@pentamom: The smoking comparison was just as valid as a screaming child because I said smoking outside. You know, when you go to the fair and are walking behind someone puffing away. Sure, it’s a personal choice – it’s not about that… it’s about doing it in the one place it SHOULD be acceptable (outside) yet it affects others around you. That’s why it’s equivalent (barring internal health issues) to a screaming child… both are being done in a public setting, both in a presumably “appropriate” place, yet both are a nuisance to others around. That’s just the truth of the situation.

What I’m rather shocked by is the vast amount of commenters who are struck with what I can only call a sense of entitlement. This: “I have to deal with it, I’m in public, so you deal with it too.”

I’ll tell you, I HAVE kids and went through that toddler stage. I NEVER felt that my “right” to be out in public trumped the “rights” of others to be safe, or have a pleasant time. I knew my kids and what they could handle, and if I made an error in judgment (where my kids melted down) I excused myself to a reasonably unpopulated area to try to fix the situation – not ONLY for the people around me, but for myself! Yeah, it sucks to have people staring at you and judging you about your child and parenting abilities when they’re screaming – it’s no fun… but that does NOT mean that you should develop such a hard-nosed attitude that you tell everyone else to f-off because you’re a parent and they just don’t “get” you or your kiddo.

It’s common courtesy!!! Manners!!! Since when did we lose the ability to say, “Geez, this bugs the hell out of me, I know it is probably irksome to the people around me, too – let me try to fix this for the benefit of those around me.” That’s asking too much, apparently, since when it’s “public” that means we can take a giant crap on what anyone else thinks.

Sure, we could have a family friendly world – that would be great, but it’s like Tony said above, “Graciousness is a two-way street…” and he was absolutely right. Most people ARE tolerant of outbursts… most people are NOT tolerant of continued tantrums.

I consider having that mother step off the bus to calm her kid down (without the driver even having to ask) something she should have done that would have been courteous to everyone. Inconvenient for her, yes, but that’s what happens with kids sometimes – I’ve been there. There wouldn’t have been a problem for her to go to the driver and ask to be let off at the next stop to ensure she could calm her child and try again. It has nothing to do with thinking the kid could calm herself, or that kids are the devil, or that the driver was evil.. for me, it has everything to do with being in a society and trying to be courteous to others… you know… that stuff they tried to teach us in elementary school.

We’ve all been subject to uncontrolled children in public places, and while sometimes the parents are to blame for not taking steps to monitor their child’s behavior, this doesn’t sound like one of those cases. The driver should have been fired. Clearly he’s not competent to handle his job and his insensitivity could have put the mother and her child in danger.

@Nicola – I found your whole post just incredibly ironic. How can you talk about common courtesy when this mom and her child were shown none? How can you talk about entitlement when you seem to feel you are entitled to live a life free of irritation?

In this situation, common courtesy would dictate that the mother stay on the bus and continue to try and calm her child, not kick her off. The ones with the entitlement issues were certainly NOT the mother and her child.

What ever happened to compassion? To see a mother with a screaming child now, people just assume that it’s the mother’s fault. You, having been there, should know that kids aren’t small adults. They don’t think or act the same way and we as parents are left to try and figure out why they’re being cranky when we think they should be fine. How about showing a struggling mom some compassion and give her an encouraging smile, instead of assuming that she’s able to control her kid and she’s just doing it for the inconvenience of other.

What does kicking her off the bus really do? It would foist the problem on to the next bus that picks her up. But, at least the bus driver who kicked her off gets a quiet ride, right? Like he’s entitled to and all that.

@ Lola – While bringing toys to distract a toddler certainly could stop the tantrum, that is not a fail safe solution. By you suggesting this, it seems like you think that all children have the capability to be tantrum free and should be tantrum free. If they’re not, then who is to blame? Oh right, that would be the parent because he/she forgot to bring the food or toys or whatever. Kids are tricky creatures at times. What works for one doesn’t work for all. Actually, what works for one may not work for him the very next day.

@Marion – Are you suggesting that a 20 month old child has the capacity to practise self restraint? Teach your kid that they have a right to live a life free of the irritation of a crying toddler while out in public, and you are contributing to the entitlement issues that are plaguing society much more so than a mother who is desperately trying to calm her ornery child on a city bus. This is not the same as a child throwing a tantrum in the middle of the movie theatre. I would not be on the side of the mother were that the case. This is a case of a mother using public transportation to get her and her child home and doing the best she could with what her child was throwing at her that day. There are times in life when, yes, we do have to put up with a tantrum and this situation is one of them.

Boy, this really makes me appreciate our public transportation system, CENTRO. We have great drivers.

I take the bus sometimes out of necessity and sometimes because I choose to. The route I am on goes through a part of town where there are a lot of single parents with no other option. Cabs in our city are outrageously priced. I have never seen a driver or a passenger upset at a parent with a cranky child or for having bulky strolllers. I am never annoyed at small children because they are doing what children do. Most parents I have see do address it but really, what are you gonna do? I agree with the poster that said giving candy and such reinforces bad behavior. I would not allow this ofr my children either but again, maybe out of consideration for the other passengers I may have made an exception if my child actually quieted down. I do get annoyed at adults and teens screaming on their phones or using vulgar language.

@Maureen – I hope you are not suggesting that using public transportation is something that should wait until children are older. I agree with the restaurant or a movie. However, public transportation for most in my area is not a choice. Also, I could never afford to hire a sitter for places like the grocery store (believe me I wish I could have) so when I had the time to go it did not matter what mood my children were in. We were going.

Nicola, the reason it’s not comparable to an adult smoking is that you effectively can tell the adult to put out the cigarette. You can’t effectively tell the child to stop screaming, and you don’t have to kick the adult (plus another person who is not creating the annoyance) out of the public venue in order to deal with it.

And no, I don’t think I’m entitled to be out in public with my kids acting in any terrible way without taking any responsibility for it. I do think, however, that a sense of courtesy and respect for others extends to parents in tough situations with crying children who may not have any option other than to be where they are at the moment. The child in this situation was presumably not having a meltdown when they left the house, or even when they got on the bus.

That driver should have been yanked off that bus and retrained. And seriously how much crap should this woman have been carrying? Pretzels, fruit, candy, coloring books, pens, paper… Maybe she should just hire a clown to entertain her child whenever they ride the bus. If the bus driver continues to kick mothers with small children off his bus, he can apply for the job when he gets sacked.

@swa101

The Webster definition of a ‘tantrum’ is ‘a violent fit of bad temper’. If a child is old enough to have a fit of bad temper, it’s old enough to learn to curb its temper. ‘Twenty month old’ is a misleading term for a two and a half year old. It’s not a baby, it’s a little budding person, who has just found out that it has an own identity, and who wants to assert that. Do yourself a favour and read John Rosemond’s ‘Making the terrible twos terrific’.
In fact, I’ll quote John Rosemond’s (child psychiatrist and columnist) column about a similar incident in a restaurant (just supplant ‘restaurant’ with ‘bus’):

“I feel a column coming on,” my wife said, doing her usual read-my-mind thing.
It was another superb nine o’clock in the morning in Charleston, SC, where we had come for a brief respite before the start of my travel season. We were seated in one of the finest of the many fine breakfast bistros in town, in one of the finest of the many fine hotels in town, and I was about to jump out of my skin. Seated directly across from us was a family that included grandparents, a father, and two preschool children, both of whom were shrieking and bellowing as if they were riding a roller coaster at Dizzy World. The grandparents, our generation, were doing their best to ignore the little yahoos, while the father kept up a litany of empty threats.
“Now, if you don’t calm down, we’re going to have to go back to the room.”
“BELLOW! SHRIEK!”
“If we can’t use our inside voices, then we’re going to have to leave and not have breakfast. You want breakfast, don’t you? Yes? Then let’s calm down, okay?”
“SHRIEK! BELLOW!”
“Okay, now that’s enough! One more and we’re going back to the room.”
“SHRIEK! BELLOW! BELLOW! SHRIEK!”
Dad was about as effective as someone trying to blow soap bubbles into a hurricane, and it was about then that Willie made her prediction. “It’s my job,” I said, then I got up and asked the hostess if she’d mind re-seating us, which she did, at the other side of the room, smack dab between two tables of parents and preschool children.
These children, however, were invisible, which is what children should be trained from an early age to be in restaurants and other civilized places. Both sets of parents obviously understand that parenting carries responsibilities to ones fellow citizens, primary of which is the responsibility to not inflict under-disciplined children on innocent bystanders, and especially in fine restaurants where said bystanders have paid good money to enjoy not just good food, but a pleasant atmosphere.
As proven by the latter two sets of parents, training children at a young age to behave themselves in restaurants is not an impossible dream. Doing so is nothing short of a demonstration of respect for others. Yes? Yes. Therefore, not doing so is disrespectful. Other descriptors come to mind, including common, vulgar, and boorish.
I hope the reader is clear that the problem at the first table was not the children. And it was not the grandparents either. I could feel their pain from ten feet away. The problem was the father—and the mother, who was guilty-by-proxy. They represent parents who don’t understand that raising a child involves obligations beyond the child. Parents who understand those obligations raise well-disciplined children, and the most disciplined children are also the happiest children. Therefore, parents who understand those obligations do their children the best of services.
My mother used to say that good citizenship began in the home. True, but one of the first tests of good citizenship occurs in a nice restaurant, which is to say, if your children can’t pass it, then don’t bring them. And if you bring them only to discover that you have been prematurely optimistic, remove them. Thank you.”

End quote.

http://www.rosemond.com/91509.html

@ Nicola Thank you – wonderfully, perfectly said!

So, we kick the kid off. She’s still crying (kicking her off won’t make a child stop crying unless she was crying because she was car sick). Mom has to find another bus, gets on (hope her cold groceries don’t ruin) and gets kicked off again because child is even MORE tired. This trip take 5 times as long because no one will just get this pair home. They kick her off. When the bus drives off, it leaves the person talking for 20 minutes on their cell phone, the person laughing to loud at their friend’s joke, and the teenager that is trading last licks or crude comments in their seats. I would have, as one person suggested, waited for the cops. Maybe they would have taken me home. Heheh. Ridiculous. Kids are kids, let’s quit expecting them to be adults.

@ Kari By all reports the child actually stopped crying immediately after exiting the bus – soon enough that the bus driver invited her back on board. The difference between all the noises you list is clear….the bus driver was able to tune out other things, but not a child screaming in his ear. Because again, by all reports, this wasn’t a child simply fussing and saying no repeatedly. This was a child in a full blown outrage. And like an above commenter noted, we are designed to have difficulty tuning this out.

I think most people who are parents have completely lost perspective on how distracting a screaming child can be.

Reading the comments here the problem is not with kids, it is the adults with a weird sense of entitlement.

Raise your hand if you have travelled in a bus in an Asian or African country.

If I give you a cookie I will be reinforcing your bad behavior… Just keep screaming until you learn screaming is the least effective option…

@ Uly That’s your choice to believe that – again and again, I’ve stated that I don’t believe it’s easy to have children, and that I don’t believe she was expected to have complete control over a child’s behaviour. That is not the issue. As Nicola said above, even if other people have a duty to assist, the parent still has a duty to those around her. That is the central issue.

I know exactly what I’m talking about, and STILL think the parent (or guardian, or child care provider) has a duty of care to those around them. It works both ways.

Even if you think I’m lying, my argument still stands. And your arguments are still just attacking me, and not the issue at hand.

@ BMS It wasn’t the passengers complaining. It was the driver of the bus concerned for everyone’s safety. I don’t think bus drivers choosing to bike, walk, or otherwise not show up at work would help anyone else get around.

@ mammatiamat See my comment above yours. This has ZERO to do with the passengers.

For those siding with the driver– do you have any evidence the driver suggested anything other than removing the child from the bus? Like, maybe, moving to the back of the bus? Because if the problem was the child “screaming in his ear” you’d think that moving the child farther away would help.

As for the idea that the woman could have made other choices– well, yes, maybe she could. She’s pretty clearly upper middle class and white and all kinds of privileged, from the picture. But unless the driver was indulging in reverse snobbery, there’s a good chance that if he did it to her, he’d do it to someone else who wouldn’t have those choices.

I’ve never ridden a bus in Vancouver– never been there, in fact. But in other areas where I HAVE ridden a bus, including NYC, you can’t depend on there being ‘another bus along in five minutes’. Nor can I just blythely assume that one can get a taxi anywhere in Vancouver– there are plenty of places, even NYC, where you can’t just flag a cab, and in smaller cities it may take as long to call a cab and have arrive as it would take to walk to your destination. And if someone kicks you off the bus because the child is making noise, then invites you back on right away, what’s to stop them from kicking you off again if the child makes noise again– which, if she was coming *from* home, would leave her farther from home. Then again, I love the “Transit guy” in the comments on the article who claims that “many bags and a toddler onto a bus is unsafe and irresponsible to the other passengers.”

One thing I’m just not understanding is how many people are bringing up all the other loud and obnoxious things adults and teens do on the bus.

I’ll tell you first hand, I’ve witnessed bus drivers here in my city (when I’ve actually ridden for whatever reason) kick kids off the bus (to which I’m sure someone would gripe and moan about teens not being able to do anything just because their teens) as well as an adult with a severe case of foul mouth get kicked off BECAUSE I had my son with me and the driver was ticked off at the fact that it was his first ride and was dealing with a foul man.

That same driver actually got off the bus to steal a balloon from a car lot (no joke) to give to my son just because he was delighted at the fact my son was sitting beside me quietly (yet with some excitement on his face) riding the bus for the first time.

So all the comments on “well why doesn’t he this” “well what about these people” Well what if those people weren’t on the daggone bus??? Who is to say that if they were, he wouldn’t have kicked them off as well? I’ve seen it happen!

@mammatiamat: Corporeal punishment? Are you serious?! What a joke – you can honestly sit there and proclaim that we, who have a different opinion than you, are so idiotic we deserve to be slaughtered. Yes, you’re a great community leader with that one. Score one for the supposed “family-friendly” bunch, right? I am in favor of **manners** madame, and never once would I have suggested that people like you who do not seem to deem them necessary for even the smallest patrons should die because you disagree. I feel far from being the idiotic one in this conversation.

@susan’s article: I think the guy saying “invisible” kids has some up in arms… me too. I understand what he’s trying to say though, and have seen it in action. I’ve flown with my kids twice when they were before the age of 3 and 5. Each time we bought a sack of toys and activities they had never seen before and kept half for the flight home. Passengers came up to us every time, every flight, complimenting us and commenting on how well behaved our children were. We went to restaurants and even though they were done and my husband and I were still eating, they would sit and color and wait because, unlike home where they could be excused and run around, restaurants were public places where manners were in order. I can’t tell you the number of appreciative people who give our kids MORE attention because of their ability to be decent… even when they were toddlers.

I think part of the issue being confused here as well is that people are taking the idea of a kid having a bad moment as one in the same as a kid having an all out temper tantrum. They are not the same. Most people are tolerant and accepting of a child having a bad moment (no, I’m not talking seconds here, I’m talking a minute or two). Most people are not tolerant of a child who is throwing a full on tantrum for longer than that. No one here was on that bus to know HOW that driver was feeling, what stress he might have been through that day, etc. Everyone seems absolutely ready, however, to fire him or curse him out because he did what he deemed necessary to the safety of his job – and when he even OFFERED TO LET THE WOMAN BACK ON THE BUS AFTER THE KID CALMED DOWN, she refused.

To say the driver was completely out of line or just being an ass is ridiculous. Someone above mentioned it – had he been on his ipod or on his cell phone, we would have been upset that he was being distracted from his duties. If there would have been a cursing adult or teen on the bus, I’d hope he’d have kicked them off, too.

Again – “public” does NOT mean you get to take a crap on everyone else. Public is the place where you put on your best MANNERS to make life tolerable for everyone in society. No one is asking for an irritation-free existence. That would be perfectly awesome for me, but I make not illusions that that would ever happen. I do, however, expect other people to make just as reasonable an effort as I do to use their best manners and to try to teach their children the same.

If I see an effort being made, would I be upset at a tantruming child? Absolutely not. A person sitting there making idle threats to their kid or doing nothing at all? Absolutely upsets me. And it wouldn’t be the child I’d be upset with, friends.

@Mae Mae – No where did I say that public transportation was somewhere I thought people shouldn’t bring children. What I did say was this:

“Let me preface this long rant with the fact that I feel like throwing a crying baby off the bus is outrageous. Now if the kid was not sitting and running up and down the aisle, the bus driver would have had a reason. Otherwise, this is what little ones do on occasion. Parents shouldn’t have to live in a bubble.”

I did mention fancy restaurants, late-night movies, and weddings where children haven’t been invited, as some of the places I mentioned that children shouldn’t be and parents need to get a sitter.

If the driver can’t handle driving with a cranky child on the bus then he shouldn’t be a bus driver. How is he doing to drive on busy days where the bus is full of people yelling, chatting, arguing, all squished like sardines. How’s he dong to drive with drunk passengers or grown men fighting, or the disabled who don’t have the ability to control themselves?Is he going to kick off a wheelchair bound disabled person who groans too loud? If you get easily distracted you should not be a bus driver!

A month ago I almost flipped out on a bus driver. Bused all the way home from the downtown area of my city to my neighbourhood(45 min) with my son, he started crying just before our stop, and the driver was like “That’s annoying, keep hime quiet” yet he didn’t have a problem with the really loud man who sat up front who kept bothering the other passengers, or the girl yelling at her boyfriend on her cellphone, or the rowdy schools. No, he had to problem with the baby on the nearly empty bus.

A story for the whole “Control your kids’ thing: three days ago I almost flipped out on another person, this time a cashier at a Sears. My son was being cranky, kept trying to grab at things, blah blah, you know, being a toddler. I was in line to pay for something, and the cashier said to the woman in front of me, loud enough for all the hear, “Some women just don’t train them soon enough”. He’s a child, not a dog! What does she want me to do, put a collar on him and beat with a newspaper? to make it more irritating, the cash was in the baby section. You’d think someone who runs the baby sections knows stuff about babies!

@Marion – Last I checked, a two year old is 24 months, no? This child was 20 months old, so just over a year and a half. Even still, are you suggesting that a two year old has the mental capacity to be aware of everyone around them and realize how their actions affect others? I don’t know any two year old that isn’t self centred. It’s age appropriate and it sucks and it’s what happens from time to time despite the best efforts of the parents. That aside, 20 months is not 2 years. So even if you (unrealistically) expect that from 2 year olds, you still expect it from those under 2?

There are 7 definitions for fag by Webster’s dictionary and none of them say it’s a derogatory term for homosexuals. So, I guess that means when someone calls my gay friends fags, they mean “an English public-school boy who acts as servant to an older schoolmate”. I’ll be sure to tell them that the next time they tell me their landlord calls them a couple of fags again. A temper tantrum in a two year old (or not even two year old as this is the case) does not fit into the Webster’s definition.

The story you posted is not comparable. The restaurant was a place where the people could easily leave and deal with cranky kids. If they needed more sleep, they could go back to the room. If they were hungry, they could eat. The mom on the bus was, well, on a bus. Not the same. The dad in the story was issuing empty threats. The mom on the bus was trying to calm her child. She could not leave to deal with it. What was she to do if her daughter was tired unexpectedly? I suppose she could have let her daughter run around the bus and she would have stopped crying. I have no idea who the guy is who wrote that, but I’ll look him up. I would never, however, use a story written by someone who thinks “children should be invisible in civilized society” and that a mother is “guilty by proxy” regarding a situation she wasn’t even present for to illustrate any point I make. My children are seen and heard. And well behaved, I may add, because I don’t issue empty threats and they know it. But, even my well behaved kids would have a meltdown at the most inappropriate time. If I could remove them from the situation I would for the good of the people around and for the good of me and my child. But, on a bus? Sorry. You have to put up with it and so do I.

Maureen —

Re: The Tut exhibit.

Perhaps this is nitpicking, but it’s kind of bugging me…

As one who was reading — and appreciating — Jack London at age 4, how do you know the child didn’t appreciate the Tut exhibit? If he wasn’t misbehaving, why does it matter if he was there?

Yeah, you may consider the “hands-on” museum more age-appropriate, but how do you know this kid wasn’t fascinated by ancient Egyptian artifacts and completely enthralled to be there?

I remember going to the Natural History Museum (one that would likely be considered an “adult” museum to most people, as it was very much hands-off) at his age and being fascinated by the exhibits there. I remember a traveling exhibit of ancient archaeological sites, ranging from the typical Egyptian ones to Arctic seal hunting tribes, and it’s one of my fondest childhood memories.

I understand your concern over whether infants should be there, and I pretty much agree that they should probably have been left with a sitter. However, I don’t agree that a two or three year old is too young to appreciate things like King Tut. They might not be able to grasp some of the more complex nuances about the various displays, but they do understand more than what you might think (and come to think of it, I know many adults who can’t grasp some of the more complex nuances of various form of art or museum exhibits).

I think the question there is, how old is “old enough” for things such as “hands-off” museums? I’d say that depends greatly on the child, and as long as the child isn’t misbehaving, who are we, as strangers, to decide whether or not they should be there?

You forgot the other lyric on Wheels on the Bus. “the Mommy on the bus go shush, shush, shush!”

Often we forget the little guy, the SMB, in our discussions of the comings and goings of the Internet marketing industry. Sure there are times like this when a report surfaces talking about their issues and concerns but, for the most part, we like to talk about big brands and how they do the Internet marketing thing well or not so well.
onlineuniversalwork

It’s funny how people will react to a story without knowing the full story. If you don’t know the details, don’t comment. So although I cannot comment about this issue, I can say that from my experience of going to restaurants and watching countless numbers of parents doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to control their screaming children, some parents need to learn how to be better parents!

This is deplorable. To think that a bus driver, who’s job is to provide transportation to those that have no other means or who choose to entrust their lives in that bus driver would just abandon a needy mother on the streets – what was the bus driver thinking? Could you imagine throwing someone in a wheelchair off the bus because they soiled their pants and smelled up the bus? It is sort of the same think.

I don’t know all the details and don’t know if the information is totally accurate or not, but taking the details at face value I can only imagine that the bus driver must have been having a challenge concentrating. If that’s the case, then maybe he shouldn’t be driving a bus. One of the requirements of the position should be to be able to do your job regardless of noice or smell or whatever else can get in the way.

A mother with a toddler is busy protecting the toddler and taking care of that toddler. It is not as though she is being selfish at the expense of others. The bus driver should be looking to support and protect that mother, not leaving her on the side walk.

This isn’t about laying blame on the driver. It should be about getting to the bottom of something that is wrong and fixing it. What is the bus company doing that contributed to this situation?- hiring practices, job evaluations, corporate policy, operational failsafes, etc.?

It also surprises me that you mention most Canadians support the driver. I would say that you’re sample could be tainted/biased. I find it difficult to believe than any bus passenger would support the idea of being booted off the bus if the bus driver didn’t like them, the way they smelled, the way they dress, their accent, etc. Because that’s pretty much what they’re saying if they support the bus driver. His/her job should be to service the passengers, not make his job more comfortable. The passengers are his ‘boss’ not his victims.

This is an example of the irresponsible behaviour I write about in my book http://www.thebankerwhosavedhissoul.com where I offer some solutions on how to be more human.

B Minaudo
Toronto, ON

THERE WAS A WORLD ONCE WHEN PARENTS OBEYED GOD AND BROUGHT THEIR KIDS UP UNDER HIS WINGS…….WITH LOVE AND DISIPLINE. BUT THAT’S GONE OUT THE WINDOW WITH ”WE HAVE OUR RIGHTS”’ DEMAND. SO DON’T MOAN IF YOU DON’T WANT TO LISTEN TO THE ONE WHO OWNS YOU, JUST EXPECT THE CONSEQUENCES HOWEVER HARD THEY ARE GOING TO BE…….FUTURE TENSE.