My 8 Year Old Went to the Park Alone!

That is one rusty slide in the photo! LOL

I recall being very young and heading to the park on my own. That being the one around the corner with no streets to cross… and the one where we had to descend down a weed-covered hill behind my grandma’s house and walk through a very large, multi-field park to get to the playground.

Our neighborhood has a few high school age kids that hardly move at all for cars. One day one of them will get hit and then parents will be supposed to supervise until the kids are 18.

Not long ago, my wife and I were walking with the baby in his stroller while our kids (3 & 5) rode ahead on their bikes. The kids got to the end of the block and waited, like they are supposed to. We were taking a long time, about 200 feet behind, and the cars at the corner had stopped and were waiving the kids through the intersection. We watched from afar as the kids looked both ways and decided to cross safely together. We were proud of them. They had evidently listened to all the street-crossing lessons we had given them since they were toddlers, and they made it safely. No police were called, no problems resulted. And in that moment, our kids grew up a little bit,

My daughter is only 17 months old, and already she seems so happy when I let her climb the stairs by herself. She’s a rockstar at it, so I just leave the gate open and let her follow me. Now she wants to climb stairs everywhere we go.

I want to share a funny story that I happened last summer. We had a bunch of kids playing in our backyard. At some point my oldest who was 12 at the time left to visit with his friend a few miles away. I was left with a 10 yo, 11 yo, 9 yo, 6 yo and a 3 yo. Older kids wanted to go to localppark to play man hunt. My 3 yo daughter wanted to go with big kids so I grabbed a book and went with them. While I was sitting in the shade enjoying my book all the kids, including the little one, went to play in the “woods”. At some point a heavily pregnant mom with a small todler showed up at the playground and proseeded following her child every step. Occasionally she’d give me a dirty look. I’m 5 ft tall and hardly a 100lb and don’t generally look threatening, though my husband might disagree :). In about half an hour I noticed my 3 yo daughter running from the woods, grinning and screaming mama. The older kids were a few yards behind and still hidden by vegetation. At the same time my oldest boy was approaching on his bike at full speed from the opposite direction also screaming mama just for fun. You should see the look of total horror on the face of that woman. And then the other 4 boys emerged from the woods and in a matter of seconds the playground was overtaken by children. Once the other mom got her bearings back she asked me if all the kids were mine. I said just the 3, the rest are neighborhood kids. Then she asked me at what age it was ok to stop following children around. So I pointed to her that her little boy was perfectly fine going down the slide by himself while she was talking to me. She was completely shocked he could do it. But she actually set down next to me and we had a nice chat while her son played with my daughter.

Good story!

I love hearing good stories like this. I also have one to share. A friend of mine and I were talking about the recent article by the woman who left her son in the car for a few minutes, only to have a stranger record it and report her to the police. I remarked that, even if you are genuinely concerned, calling the police is a strange first instinct.

Then she said that recently, she was driving around town and saw two children walking down the street, about 2 and 4 years of age. She pulled over and asked, “Excuse me, does your mom know where you two are?” They enthusiastically answered, “Nope!” So she got her 4 young kids out, asked the kids to show her where they lived, and walked them home. She said that when an older child answered the door, he and their mother were very surprised to see the little ones out, and said that they were supposed to be in the backyard. Now, how does my friend’s response not make the most sense to people when they encounter a situation that concerns them, but is not immediately threatening? How different could that situation have gone if someone had decided to call the police instead?

Also, I saw this on my news today and thought I’d share it here. http://www.9news.com/story/news/local/2014/06/28/12-year-old-opens-crepe-business/11680561/

@Jill, it’s the mentality of people today. Media has changed the views of society, and society spreads the irrational fear mongering to others. So much, that people just take others word for it without ever second guessing. And even people that have an old school/free range attitude, find themselves “wondering”.

I’m a proponent of the old ways of rearing up children. And now, whenever I see kids under the age of 11 walking by themselves, I often look around to see if their parent(s) were close by. Ok, it’s not exactly fearing for the kid, but more to see if they are being hovered. But it’s an automatic thing, just like people asking children on their own, if their parents knew where they were.

Even back before the internet age, some parents would ask us if our parents knew where we were. But that’s usually if they see us still wandering about when the street lights came on. But they were the few. And “yup” was a sufficient answer, with no raised eye brows, or calling the authorities. The only times the authorities would be called on us and our parents, was when we actually did something wrong or unlawful. ie. break a window, damage a car, toilet paper a house, poo in a bag and set it on fire, etc… Not playing by ourselves, without supervision.

And as some have said, if the child doesn’t look lost, and/or distressed, leave them be. Smile back even, and say “good day”. Kids need to understand the world isn’t a bad place. It can be bad, but it isn’t a bad one. That there are more good people, than bad. Not only do they learn, to distinguish between the two, but also have the confidence, self-esteem, and street smarts to deal with comes their way. Instead of fearing getting into trouble by the police or other people, for just having fun by themselves, or with friends, and no adults.

Ok, so this is kind of ironic, but the friend I just commented on earlier today who walked some tiny kids home (rather than calling the cops) just called me to say that someone called the cops on her TODAY because they disapproved of her parenting. We were just talking about this yesterday! Thankfully, the police who responded (inside a restaurant, no less) were sensible about the situation. Crazy. All I can do is shake my head.

Good for you! I also started letting my son walk or ride his bike to the playground alone when he was 8. I have even let him take his 6-year old brother now that the older one is 9. I trust them and know they would never leave each other.

I had a similar proud free-range moment yesterday. My 9-yr old son rode his bide to a friend’s house and the pool. Later, the two boys showed up to grab my son’s ipad and head back to the friend’s house. They were rushing because a thunderstorm was coming in and they wanted to beat the rain. I sat in the living room watching out the window as my son struggled to fit his stuff in his backpack and get it on his back as the raindrops started falling. He was extremely frustrated and almost panicking but I did nothing. They left as the sky darkened and a few minutes later the skies opened up. I knew the boys could only be halfway to the friend’s house and most certainly were caught in the downpour. I did not go after them. Ten minutes later, I called and confirmed that they had arrived safely. My son told me he fell off his bike and scraped his arm and was crying, but his friend helped him, they made it to the house, and he was “fine.” Am I a bad mom for not rescuing him from getting caught in a thunderstorm? NO WAY!! He was so proud of himself for dealing with a challenging situation.