Readers rabsytyhth
— A friend who’d like to be identified only as Catherine L. posted the rules from her town’s Easter Egg hunt (above) on Facebook. These include:
Wristbands indicate the age group of each child and the number on the band matches the number issued to the parent.
After each hunt, children will be released only to the adult with the corresponding number from the wristband.
In her post, Catherine wrote:
“How do you suck the fun out of an Easter Egg hunt? Treat every adult like a potential kidnapper and every child like they are in mortal danger. The sheeple just went along with it. I was the only one who complained. “
Many, many commenters then said that it wasn’t a big deal, and if she didn’t like the set-up, she didn’t have to participate, which is certainly true. But to Catherine — and me — the issue wasn’t whether it was BIG deal or not. The issue is how we are gradually accepting the idea that evil adults are scooping up children from public places often enough that we must constantly be on guard.
I”m sure there were probably some insurance concerns that prompted these rules, as well, and maybe even logistics. But it is all of a piece: At base these slight, “simple” new requirements enshrine a view that kids need constant supervision if they venture out into the public. This dark (and increasingly legally upheld) view of the world is making us less likely to send our kids to the park, less likely to let them walk to school, and less likely to act as a community: “Can you pick up Megan at the end of the hunt? I have to go make lunch. I told her she could go home with you.”
After reading a lot of commenters poo-pooing her concerns, Catherine wrote:
“I have an issue with me as the parent having my authority taken away. I’m 34 years old. I have been entrusted with 3 children. I think I can handle making sure they don’t get abducted and an egg hunt. I don’t need to be questioned by strangers to check my son’s bracelet against my name tag. The implication that nobody can be trusted made me angry and sad.”
Me too. But don’t let it ruin your Easter! Have a hoppy one. – L.
92 Comments
Reminds me of the story, which I think I read here, about a mother at Chuck E. Cheese who, due to a mistake, was stamped with a number that didn’t correspond to her children and so the restaurant tried to refuse to let her pick up her own children.
I think the concerns aren’t so much about “stranger danger” as non-custodial parent kidnappings, which are more common. But if the custodial parent is present to drop the kids off, and sticking around, I’m not sure the point of this.
In this case I would simply have pretended to go along with the scheme. Pretended!
When the time came to pick up my child (or released as they say – shudder!) my bracelet would have magically disappeared. I would be there, with my orange tshirt proclaiming in large green letters “Daniel’s Father”, waiting patiently for the fascist to decide if/when to break their own rules. 
At 12 and 9 I think that my kids are too old for easter egg hunts, but they disagree on the basis that you’re never too old for candy. I shrugged my shoulders and told them that I don’t care, that I’ll be going to work, but they’re free to hop on a bus and go on their own if they can find a local hunt.
I wonder if these people would survive if they had kids show up on their own like that, or if their heads would just explode.
My daughter’s in a karate class where I’m dealing with the same sort of overprotective nonsense. They told us that at pickup (where of course I have to get out of the car) we’re all supposed to hold the hand of our child when we’re leaving. Kids who are as old as 13. It’s beyond asinine.
“But don’t let it ruin your Easter! Have a hoppy one. ”
Are you referring to Hans-Hermann Hoppe? Well, I’m sure he celebrates Easter, but I doubt that he is concerned that kids might be abducted (except perhaps by Keynesian do-gooders such as Paul Krugman et al.).
I don’t a
Most people don’t even seem to think AT ALL about these unnecessary precautions. Or they just think “if it isn’t hurting anyone, them what’s the problem?”. I used to be one of those people. But thank to Lenore, I now realize it’s changing how we think as a society. These unnecessary safely precautions are subversive and insidious, and they change how we perceive other people. Where before we’d just go to an Easter egg hunt and have fun, and not even conceive that our kid might be kidnapped, now the sheeple (love that term!) will just blindly accept the implication that their child COULD be kidnapped. Why would people defend these rules, even after it’s been pointed out to them how irrational they are??
How many children have been kidnapped by strangers at an Easter egg hunt? If this were a massive, widespread problem, I might think these were reasonable precautions. Given that, as far as I know, it has not happened a single time ever, it’s crazy.
I was very happy that my son, who turns 10 in a few weeks, decided yesterday that he was too old for our neighborhood Easter egg hunt. He gave his little sister and brother (who are 4 and 2) a few hints, and then went out with his dad to lunch.
“My daughter’s in a karate class where I’m dealing with the same sort of overprotective nonsense. They told us that at pickup (where of course I have to get out of the car) we’re all supposed to hold the hand of our child when we’re leaving. Kids who are as old as 13. It’s beyond asinine.”
That age children used to refuse to hold hands in public, especially with their parents.
If you tried you’d have a screaming child on your hand, literally.
Wonder how the inventors of such rules would interpret that, child afraid to go home with its parents because it’s being habitually abused?
What’s really sad it it’s much more likely that you will have adults or older children hoarding eggs from the younger children, which has prompted some rules i wish weren’t there. I try so hard to see the the good in all, and teach my children that. Today I, once again, showed up early to the farmer’s market easter egg hunt, forgetting again that it starts late. I left my 11 year there alone, yes, all my himself among hoards of market shoppers/potential kidnappers, while i went to pick up my other son at baseball practice. He saw numerous dads and a few moms taking eggs (it’s really cute, they hide eggs in the produce stands with candy or coupons for market goodies), older children grabbing 10 at a time, and one woman actually reaching into the baskets of unsuspecting three year olds. She actually put her hand in his own bag and he whisked it away. He said nothing though. Disgusting
Jan, I love your idea.
I have seen this unintentionally in action. When picking up my daughter from a 6 day girl scout camp, they they were checking the adults against the list of approved adults to pick up the girl… and checking IDs.
This dad was on the list for his daughter. But he forgot his ID. She, a fourth grader who had just survived the better part of a week away from home, confirmed his identity. But the girl scout leaders were not budging. Neither was he. I don’t know how it ended, as I couldn’t stay that long. I’m guessing they kept the girl while Dad drove home to get his ID, however long it took. Ridiculous.
Scott, definitely the first reference I’ve seen to Hoppe on this blog. Good to know there’s more than one Austrian type here.
Nikki, not to be overly judgey, but I was a bit annoyed yesterday at the behavior at our neighborhood egg hunt (which honestly overall was pretty good). They had a section of the field that was for little kids, where the eggs were closer together, and then another section for the bigger kids, which was bigger. The big kids were not supposed to go into the little kid section.
They were allowed to decide for themselves if they were “little” or “big.” My four-year-old daughter decided she was a big kid, which I think was a good call, because there were a number of 1 & 2 year old kids there. They were obviously the little kids. (My 2-1/2 year old stuck with the little kids.) But some kids who were 7 and 8 jumped in with the “little kids.” I just found that kind of frustrating, but I guess that’s what we’re teaching them, that they are little kids.
Ah, easter egg hunts. For those pedophiles who love kids AND candy, and just want to grab both in one go. Handy.
Off-topic: Easter related question in the ‘English is weird’ category: if Livius and Plinius are ‘Livy’ and ‘Pliny’, Ovidius is ‘Ovid’, and Christus is ‘Christ’ (etc etc etc), then how come Jesus still has his -us??
At Easter Brunch today my younger niece and her two cousins were walking around talking to adults they new. My nephew unfortunately has a bad sunburn and was feeling under the weather. So he curled up on a chair and watched the action.
How many kids have been kidnapped by pedophile strangers during an Easter egg hunt where lots of other adults are watching? Are people really that stupid to think that a criminal is going to snatch a child in front of a lot of witnesses? I am so glad that I live in Europe, where paranoia does not run rampant.
Every Easter egg hunt we have been too (most of them by churches around here) the kids kinda group up by age and then the kids just run and the parents follow around after them helping them. The exception being the older kids will just do it by themselves. So either way the kid is either old enough to probably not go off with a stranger and know better or their parent is with them helping them hunt eggs and snapping pictures the whole time etc.
So I really don’t think this is necessary. I have been to some pretty large egg hunts too. The only reason I would think they would need the bands was if it was like vacation bible school or something where you drop the kids off and then come back to pick them up. Otherwise the parents just keep an eye on their own kids during the hunt to make sure that no one kidnaps them. Seems simple enough.
Speaking of what someone else said: one summer I guess it was summer before last when my twins would have been just turned 5 and getting ready to go into Kindergarten I signed them up for a day time vacation bible school at a nearby church. We don’t attend that church but know several people that go there.
Well I was not paying attention and when I dropped them off in the morning did not notice you were supposed to keep the slip they handed me to turn in for picking them up in 3 hours.
So I think it got lost somewhere in my car. Well I had to park quite far away and walk to pick them up. When I went to pick them up I was told I could not pick them up without the slip. I was not even sure it was in my car. I had been running errands and could have gone completely missing for good. So I just tried to talk them into just giving me my kids.
I had talked extensively with the group leader my kids were in upon drop off about my son’s food allergy and given them his epipen. So the group leader would recognize me no problem. But they would not even let me into the gym area to talk to the group leader. They were just not being convinced I was the mother picking them up. So I finally stood there for a LONG time and when no one else was showing up to pick my kids up I told them “Well if you guys wanna keep my kids be my guest. I hope you got a lot of money saved to put them through college.” I was trying to crack a joke but also be like duh you either give them to me or you take them home for the night with you because no one else is coming for them.
They finally gave them to me and after that I remembered the slip from then on out. I did not mind the slip process but they probably should have made it really clear to parents you need to hold onto it and bring it back with you and also realize that occasionally a parent will probably misplace a slip and have a plan in process for that. They honestly acted like they had no clue what to do even though I was giving the kids descriptions to them and names and info and telling them about how I dropped off the epipen to the group leader that morning etc.
@J.T. Wenting…yeah, you should’ve seen the look on her face when she heard that requirement. It was hilarious. And no, I refuse to follow that ridiculous demand. I found out last week that he also lines all the parents up and talks to them before releasing the kids, like we’re all in the class too. Uh, no. No way no how am I going to line up like I’m his student and get a talking to. I also will not hold my 9 year old’s hand like she’s a toddler. I show up, she walks over to me, and we leave. End of story.
Equally creepy is that the kids don’t have high-protein eggs to take home, just sugary candy. Doesn’t candy promote abduction? Or is that tooth decay I’m thinking of?-
Does this mean the kids were the only ones allowed on the hunt, and the parents had to stay back? If so, then I think it’s awesome. The few official hunts I’ve been to involved the parents following their kids around and ‘helping’. It understandable for preschoolers and kids with special needs, but beyond that it’s sort of ridiculous.
I find it most ironic that safety nonsense is coming from a karate class – an activity designed around teaching kids to feel safe and confident in maneuvering in the world.
I don’t know if this is for safety. More likely it’s due to parents *helping* kids at these events and a way to keep the adults out of the egg hunt area. The bracelets are absurd. But I’ve seen so many parents at these hunts teaming up with the kid to get as many eggs as the can, almost like a competition. When my kids were little, they got an egg, stopped to open it, wanted to eat it, and I let them. They didn’t care how many they got and I didn’t either.
Our local paper had a listing for area egg hunts and there was a picture of an egg hunt last year. It showed a mom holding hands with her daughter(who looked about 8) running for the eggs. Another mom was on the ground picking up eggs. Why can’t the parents just watch and take pictures? Can’t an 8 year-old pick up her own eggs? I bet the bracelets are to keep the parents out of the egg hunt area where they belong.
“This dad was on the list for his daughter. But he forgot his ID. She, a fourth grader who had just survived the better part of a week away from home, confirmed his identity. But the girl scout leaders were not budging. Neither was he. I don’t know how it ended, as I couldn’t stay that long. I’m guessing they kept the girl while Dad drove home to get his ID, however long it took. Ridiculous.”
hmm, would have a different ending were I the parent in that scenario.
I’d file criminal charges for child abduction against the scout leaders.
See how they handle having SWAT swarm their premises…
Papilio:
I believe it is because Ovid and Pliny and Livy are latin names. My understanding is that the -ius, -us, -icus & etc. denote information about the name. Jesus is greek, not latin. Great question though. I never considered it.
“I don’t know if this is for safety. More likely it’s due to parents *helping* kids at these events and a way to keep the adults out of the egg hunt area. The bracelets are absurd. But I’ve seen so many parents at these hunts teaming up with the kid to get as many eggs as the can, almost like a competition. When my kids were little, they got an egg, stopped to open it, wanted to eat it, and I let them. They didn’t care how many they got and I didn’t either. ”
it happens, saw that 35 years ago when I last went to an egg hunt as a kid.
Far more disturbing are groups of teens coming in and stealing the eggs from the children.
Might not be a problem in a tightly controlled urban setting, but if it’s an open area you can’t well control access.
The holidays this time of year are too dangerous and should be banned right away. On the Christian side, this post shows that kids can be kidnapped by strangers or space aliens in front of their parents and other witnesses at an Easter egg hunt. The candy inside the plastic eggs is probably not made from organic ingredients and can cause tooth decay and obesity. Also, when kids realize that the Easter Bunny is not real, it can cause lifelong psychological trauma. Palm Sunday should also be banned because kids can injure themselves or each other with the palm fronds.
Jews don’t get a free pass either and Passover should also be banned. Matzo has sharp corners and also has sharp edges when it breaks. Matzo balls are a choking hazard. Haroseth contains sugar, which causes cavities and obesity. There is also the possibility that the apples and nuts used for haroseth are not organic and some people are allergic to nuts. Making young kids eat horseradish could result in lasting trauma. Sending kids off the find the afikomen could cause them to be out of your sight and therefore a target for kidnappers. Let’s not forget opening the door for Elijah, who is a stranger and probably didn’t go through a criminal background check before entering your home.
With so many dangers associated with Easter and Passover, it’s a miracle that both Jews and Christians survived this long.
Why isn’t there a wy to get eggs for teens too? I would feel like I was missing out if my younger siblings got to have egg hunts (sounds kind of exciting), and I didn’t. I know there is an “age-limit” on so many things, but I do sometimes wonder why.
*contemplates setting up an egg hunt for work next year”
Because teenagers are old enough to organise this sort of fun for themselves…. Heck, they are old enough to be running the egg hunts.
Anyone older then 8 years of old is old enough to ‘help’ the pre-school kids find eggs (it is ridiculous how hopeless they are at finding eggs). Kids of that age are also quite able to be told “There is about 5 or 6 eggs each, if you find that many and want to keep looking then feel free to help the little kids find some”.
But this is just another effect of tighter controls and infantilising older children… ie we treat them as completely incapable and they end up being completely incapable and still wanting to behave like children.
What bugs me is that kids as old as 3-4th grade should be able to come to community events on their own (if they live close enough). The way this and most things are set up, if you don’t have a parent available and willing to drive you, you don’t get to participate. There’s no good reason for that.
And also, older siblings should be allowed to bring younger siblings to these things. Why do you need to be an adult to take a kit to an easter egg hunt? We didn’t have these when I was little, but for my younger siblings, we older siblings walked them up to the location of all the community stuff. Why would my parents need to be there?
I can just imagine the committee meeting, “Well, if the seasoned professionals at Chuck e cheese do it, maybe we should too?” And so it spreads.
Just wait, future news headline: “State University issues matching bracelets to incoming freshmen and parents, prevents abductions”
Lynda,
If that Dad was anything like me, he didn’t go home and get ID. He just simply took his daughter home, after reminding him that their policies were not law, and did not trump his parental authority. And if they don’t like it, too damn bad.
Our egg hunts all got rained out this year, but there are definitely no wrist bands. No adults helping any but the littlest kids either. They break the area down into groupings by age so that the 2 year olds aren’t getting trampled by the 10 year olds, but otherwise it is just a generic egg hunt.
“Because teenagers are old enough to organise this sort of fun for themselves…. Heck, they are old enough to be running the egg hunts.”
Yes, exactly. If a teen feels that they are “missing out on fun” by not participating in a children’s egg hunt, then I think they need to grow up a bit. Or, as The Onion put it in their article on how to run the perfect Easter egg hunt: “In the case of large groups, split the hunt up into one for the younger kids and another for those who need to grow the f**k up already.”
My 9 year old is too old to be involved in egg “hunts” that involve eggs strewn on a field. He gave his little siblings some hints. Then, the night before Easter, he hid eggs for his little sister and brother around the house, while my husband and I hid some eggs in hard-to-find places for him, because for a family activity, I think that’s totally fine. (I know families where the adults hide eggs for each other to find.) But when we’re talking about community events that are really just eggs in a field and kids running and picking them up, I don’t think older kids really have much place except for helping organize or helping younger siblings.
Our community egg hunt goes from ages 1-10. It is broken down into age groups and gets progressively more difficult as the kids get older. The eggs are just thrown on flat ground for the toddlers, but by the time you are 8-10 the eggs are hidden in a wooded area and you have to run uphill to get to them. The older kids seem to still enjoy it.
Around here most egg hunts are by churches and they group up kids in age groups so big kids don’t trample little kids. They did a glow in the dark easter egg hunt for teenagers (youth group) in the gym and that sounds cool. It would probably scare little ones because I think they had it pitch black and only thing glowing was the eggs.
My Dad always used to hide the eggs for me and he hid them HARD. I would be out there for 2 hours trying to find them all and he would not give hints and made me stay out there till I found them all. I enjoyed it though because it was challenging and like a cool game.
I am not going to tell anyone they can’t participate at any age just tell them to be respectful and not run over the little kids.
One way to solve the big kids and little kids together is do single color egg hunts. I heard this idea somewhere and its a good idea. Everyone gets their own personal egg color to find and then you hide them age appropriately so an older boy would look for his green eggs in hard to find places while his little sister who is a toddler can find her purple eggs just laying out on the ground. I think that is a great way to do it.
Donna, I’m glad to see that some hunts still involve actually hiding the eggs. Ours was divided by age groups, but it was all eggs strewn on a field. It puts me in mind of a swarm of locusts when the kids run out there and de-egg it in seconds.
Jan Anderson, I like your subversive style. I can’t imagine an egg hunt has any legal standing to withhold your child. Which means that a kidnapper could do just what you said, so the whole rigamarole can’t even serve it’s intended purpose.
@Cynthia812
I don’t think Jan’s idea would work for a kidnapper. a) the kid isn’t going to run up to a random stranger going “mom/dad look how many eggs I got.” b) I think a kid might object to being handed over to a random stranger,and hopefully the adults would listen to that. c) They might very well wait to hand over the claimed child until almost all the others have left, risking the person attempting to kidnap the kid having the actual parent (complete with matching bracelet) turn up in the interim.
1. The “matching wristband to prevent child abductions at an Easter egg hunt where kids come with their parents, and are in view of said parents through the event” policy is completely insane, as is the “hold hands with your child when leaving the karate dojo” policy. No arguments there.
2. As for the Girl Scout story, if it had been Girl Guides (Canadian equivalent), I would have believed that the dad in the story WAS Warren. He doesn’t put up with any bureaucracy telling him how to raise his children. I don’t agree with everything that comes out of Warren’s mouth (fingers?), but I do agree with that. I’ve had a bit of trouble with the YMCA lately, and I’ve been thinking a lot about “What Would Warren Do?”
3. About the “kids over X age should just grow up already,” well……it’s true, to a point, but I think there are a lot of resources devoted to organizing fun events for really young kids (and early elementary school age), but then it gradually tapers off once the kids’ ages hit the double digits, and for teenagers, well, there’s often almost nothing left. This isn’t just for Easter, it’s for Halloween too–kids over eight or nine are too old for Easter egg hunts, kids over the age of twelve or thirteen are too old for trick-or-treating on Halloween…..but at the same time, mid-late elementary school kids are also too young to really enjoy family gatherings, and teenagers below drinking age are really too young to hit the bars on Halloween night, and private house parties are usually limited to the “popular” kids, et cetera…..and so, kids feel that “bum’s rush,” and sometimes get up to things that they shouldn’t (monopolizing/sabotaging younger kids’ activities, underage drinking, drugs, and unprotected sex), because what does it matter if society thinks they’re a nuisance anyway? Churches and YMCA’s and so forth try to fill the gap with appropriate youth and teen programming, but usually only for members, so that’s not a complete solution either. My point is, I don’t think it’s quite fair to leave out an entire age demographic when planning community events, and then tell that demographic that they’re too old for X, too young for Y, and if they try to participate in either, they’re not welcome or wanted. It’s even worse that that age span usually coincides with puberty, when kids are growing and changing and feeling emotional a lot of the time anyway. Also, “they can help with the younger kids” is fine, to a certain point, but if it becomes the default, then it’s natural for the older kids to feel like everything revolves around the younger ones, and they, the older kids, just get to do the scut work. So, to make a long-winded point, if I was planning something like this, I’d organize something for the older kids as well as the younger ones. So, using Easter as an example, maybe the older kids’ activity could be an egg hunt with clues, like a scavenger hunt, or maybe an egg decorating contest with an iTunes card or something as a prize, or maybe their own Easter dinner and dance in the evening, but they’d get something. They could still help out with the younger kids, but that’d be in addition to their own event, not instead.
P.S., As for older kids and teens being left out, I didn’t just mean on holidays either–I also meant in everyday life, at family gatherings (adults talk amongst themselves, little kids go off and play, older kids are ignored or expected to babysit), at a lot of gyms (mine is great, if you’re an adult, but the minimum age to belong is I think 14, and the “Kids Club” tapers off at about age 7), on weekends (age-appropriate entertainment venues not always easily accessible by non-driving youth), at playgrounds, etc. (bigger kids using the equipment are regarded as a menace, even if they’re not actively being aggressive), malls and stores (teenagers banned after a certain time at some malls, no more than X number of students permitted in the store at a time). See my point here? I know that nobody intends to do this, but in a lot of cases, older kids and teenagers are given the message that they shouldn’t participate in society.
Bigger kids should be given opportunities to help organize things for the little kids, or bring their younger siblings. That is not “being excluded from society,” it’s being promoted to a position closer to adulthood *within* society.
Egg hunts are just colorful greed-fests in my opinion. Great for wee tykes, but distasteful for anyone old enough to learn some consideration for others. I haven’t taken my kids to one since they were 2 or 3. Their church does one during Sunday School on Palm Sunday, which I don’t like, but it’s not worth fighting about it. I don’t know how they do it, since parents (other than the SS teachers) are not present.
You can have an egg hunt without being rude and pushy. Most churches around here do just have them lying all around a field but its okay. I make sure to tell my kids not to push, run into others, snatch eggs away from others etc. I use it as a learning opportunity which is why I follow around behind my boys making sure they behave courteously and get pictures of them.
I liked the way one church did it. You had to turn all the eggs you got in and whether you got 100 eggs or 10 you still got the same gift bag on the way out with candy and toys and activities like stickers. So being pushy was not going to get you ahead.
Then you registered for drawings where they pulled names for big prizes like bikes and passes to the zoo etc. I think that is probably the best way to go about it so there is not greediness.
“I believe it is because Ovid and Pliny and Livy are latin names. My understanding is that the -ius, -us, -icus & etc. denote information about the name. Jesus is greek, not latin. Great question though. I never considered it.”
In Latin, those would be Ovidius, Plinius, and Livius…
Jesus Christus is Latin too, though probably a Latinised version of a translation into Greek of a Hebrew name, as that’s the route the Bible took in translation.
Have egg hunts always had big prizes? The one we went to gave away bikes(!!) as well as smaller stuff. I never went to community hunts as a kid because my family was big and we just did our own. We had some prize eggs, but the prize was usually candy (because ‘gasp’ not every egg had candy in it. sometimes they were even real eggs). So I don’t know if this is new or not.
@SKL–I don’t think being expected to exclusively help out with the younger kids is really being “promoted closer to adulthood in society,” because again, adults have their own events. So, I think it’s fine to teach older kids to be helpful, but not to the exclusion of them having activities of their own, that they can participate in fully without having to “work.” I like the idea of the glow-in-the-dark egg hunt at Dolly’s church–fun, simple, and just the act of adding a blacklight makes it somehow more appealing to teenagers. Also, it sounds as if the younger kids’ egg hunt is in the daytime, while the older kids’ glow-in-the-dark egg hunt is in the evening, so that way, the older kids could help out with the younger kids’ event (if they wanted to), AND attend their own event in the evening.
Haava, I’m not saying it’s a great kidnapping strategy, just that I’m fairly certain that wouldn’t have a basis for stopping you if you just took you kid and left. So theoretically, a kidnapper could do that, although in reality, it would probably create too much ruckus.
@Cynthia, I agree it’s a problem when preteens and teens are excluded from both child-centered activities and adult activities, and not offered any alternatives, but I don’t think the solution is to simply treat older children and teens as if they are young children.
I find it a bit baffling that older kids would WANT to participate in an egg hunt. When I was that age, I would have been absolutely mortified about participating in something like that. But I notice more and more older children and even teens having no problem participating in things clearly designed for young children, and I personally think that, rather than being cute or charming, it’s a troubling indicator that they are internalizing our infantilization of them.
I am the opposite I think it is good that kids still want to play or participate in kid related things because the alternative is watching MTV and wanting to twerk like Miley Cyrus. I was the one 13 year old that got bullied because I still played with Barbie dolls and did not care about trying to get a boyfriend. I was the one that ended up not pregnant so maybe that shows me taking a bit longer to mature was a good thing. Many of my friends did end up preggers before they got out of high school.
Emily –
Egg hunts have been little kid activities for as long as their have been egg hunts. I don’t think this generation of teens is more deserving of their own special community Easter event than previous generations. Tweens and teens do have to accept that they grow out of things and aren’t old enough for others. I don’t think communities need to redesign all events so that they appeal to ages 0-99.
I can’t speak for every community, but mine has plenty of stuff going on that would appeal to teens, just not specifically on Easter. I can think of a few events that definitely have more to offer older kids than the little tykes. Heck, we even have at least one bar/music venue that admits anyone. I used to go to late-night disco (no, I’m not that old, that is just what it was called) there when I was in high school. Teens are not getting shut out of society, their place simply changes from egg hunts to skate parks, bike races and music festivals.
Yeah, I am surprised to hear people say that there aren’t fun/interesting activities available for tweens/teens. What about sports, band, and other extracurriculars, school/community dances, quiet hobbies, youth competitions (e.g. science fair / writing / art contests), youth groups at church (or other place of worship), scouts, 4H, Jr. Grange, book clubs, summer camps, youth volunteer opportunities, and just being allowed to hang out with friends without a continuous adult escort?
Personally I really enjoyed doing stuff with kids at that age – I dragged my younger siblings around everywhere and volunteered for stuff like Safety Town and helping at the library etc. I actually felt awkward being a 16yo Safety Town helper, since most of the volunteers were years younger.
Last year I was trying to find some regular social activities for my kids that involved outdoor stuff, and everything required kids to be at least age 8. The only exception was the horse riding farm “camp” they go to. (Well, and Brownies, which doesn’t really do outdoor stuff unless the leader is into that.)
Anonymous mom, I didn’t say anything about the age groups. Maybe you meant Cassie. My take on Easter specifically is that it’s a family holiday, and a religious holiday, and I have a problem with the idea that teens and tweens should be shunted off somewhere more appropriate like a skate park. But I think we have a big problem with age stratification in general, and a lot of it goes back to free-range issues. For example, I think adult-only events are great, and we should have more of them But if we construct society so that parents can never leave their kids (unless they are in daycare), you get pushback against adult only, then you get pushback against people bringing their kids to inappropriate places, then everything is stratified by age again, and teenagers are often the first to be left out of everyday life.
Okay, I have to ask… at what age do egg hunts involve hiding the eggs these days? I keep seeing reference to the eggs being strewn about the lawn, and all the pushing, shoving, grabbing, and parents helping etc. And I have to wonder if the problem is in how the eggs were distributed.
My only experience with egg hunts were from when I was in pre-k/Kindergarten between the ages of 3-5. Since my family wouldn’t let me partake in the egg hunt, my teacher had me help her hide the eggs. Now I was told a few approaches to hiding them were too good. None were to go totally out of site. But I put under bushes, in the bushes, behind columns of the play structure, up on fence poles, window ledges, in the flowers etc. It was a small but do-able challenge for each kid to find an egg or two. And since the kids had to look high and low to find the eggs, they weren’t moving fast and there was no trampling. The kids were focused on hunting rather than rapidly picking targets and attacking said targets (and anyone in the way). I dare say the Afikomen hunt is likewise much less pushy for the same reason of the target being out of site and thus a search rather than a race.
“My take on Easter specifically is that it’s a family holiday, and a religious holiday, and I have a problem with the idea that teens and tweens should be shunted off somewhere more appropriate like a skate park.”
My point wasn’t that teens should spend Easter at the skate park, but that there are generally activities in most communities like skate parks that are more for older kids than little ones, just like there are some activities that are more for little kids than teens.
Teens are not actually supposed to have many of the same interests as 2 year olds. That is a perfectly normal state of being and as I, for one, want it. All community events simply cannot cater to all ages. It becomes space, time and cost prohibitive.
Egg hunts are things that generally appeal to the younger crowd and it is fine that the community puts its limited egg hunt resources into the group to whom they predominantly appeal. Teens need not be shunted off. In fact, they should be mature enough to come watch their younger siblings hunt for eggs and cheer them on and without pouting because they don’t get to participate in something that should be below their level. I bet they can even con a little sibling out of a piece of candy or two by showing some support.
Sometimes everyone just needs to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them. Teens can go and watch their little siblings hunt eggs this weekend and next weekend their little siblings will go be totally bored at the bike race that the teens want to see (we do happen to have an international bike race in town this weekend). As long as the parents aren’t only seeking out community activities to make the little ones happy, it generally all works out in the end.
It seems to me that if egg hunts are causing tweens/teens to feel left out of the family experience, and this is very concerning, then the answer is to stop egg hunts. The nature of a community egg hunt is that it’s for little kids. Kind of like pee wee soccer. If you’re looking for a family activity that involves everyone on Easter, the egg hunt may not be for your family. Why not go geocaching or swimming together? Or just go to church and have a big lunch and enjoy family the rest of the day, like my family always did?
Really, isn’t it kind of dumb for a big kid (without special needs) to get excited about “finding” plastic colored eggs?
I don’t think the only alternatives for preteens are acting like small children or acting like Miley Cyrus. When I was in that 11-13 range, I had no interest in doing little kid things, but I was also not twerking (or whatever the late 80s/early 90s equivalent would have been). I was reading and doing all kinds of crafts and learning to play guitar and going for bike rides with friends around town.
I was also, at that age, babysitting a lot, either in a “mother’s helper” type capacity where I’d help entertain neighbor kids while their mothers were doing other things around the house, or, when I was 12 and up, actually babysitting. I enjoyed spending time with kids–I never felt put upon when a neighbor or aunt or older cousin asked me to watch their child, but was thrilled to have the opportunity–but I wasn’t and didn’t want to be seen as a little kid. I think that’s actually a really great age for babysitting, because you still can enjoy a lot of games and play younger kids like, but you are old enough to supervise and take on some responsibility. There are a few girls around that age in our neighborhood who are always welcome, in the summer, to stop by and hang out for a few hours during the day, and most of the time they either want me to show them something I’m doing that they want to learn (usually either knitting or baking) or they want to play with my little kids. I’ve got two neighbor girls who are 8 and 9 who love to take care of my 4 year old daughter for me.
I don’t think we’re pushing kids into a life of twerking and promiscuity by not allowing them to act like toddlers and small children when they are preteens and teens. If anything, I think allowing them more responsibilities will make them more responsible. I know that my oldest–who is five years older than his next sibling–does not do very well when he just kind of jumps into the play with his little siblings; he tends to start acting very immature and everything turns to chaos very quickly, because a 9 year old acting like a 4 year old while hanging out with a 4 and 2 year old is just never going to end well. But if we give him some position of responsibility over them (NOT like, hey, feed and bathe the kids and change your brother’s diaper, but like, hey, you are awesome at making up games, how about you make up a game for them and then help them play it?) he almost always rises to the occasion and does very well, and also feels much better about himself after.
Holy Pink Bunny,
We need to have a study done, to find out why girls that play barbies in their teens are the only ones that don’t end up preggers.
Dolly you’re a self righteous ass.
Dolly,
Where the hell do you live? All those teen pregnancy cases, your parents shooting animals on a daily basis, not answering the door….and so on. When we drive thru you town, do we here a cheap tinny banjo playing “Duelling Banjos” and Ned Beatty screaming like a pig? Just how backwoods is your area and family?
I’m not saying the hunt should cater to teenagers, just that there’s no reason to make them feel unwelcome, assuming they are being courteous. And I agree with Dolly that there’s no reason to push kids to grow up in their INTERESTS, as long as they are learning to act responsible and mature. I was a kid who still liked dolls and toys as a late tween/early teen, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m glad nobody made me feel embarrassed about it, because I was awkward enough as it was.
BTW, what cutoff are people thinking for egg hunts? Ours allowed kids up to 11, which I think is fine, especially if the eggs are actually hidden. They were’t in the same area as the little kids.
About the older kids’ alternative Easter egg hunt, I was envisioning like, a team scavenger hunt type of thing, with clues (or “dares,” like “take a selfie wearing bunny ears”), written on paper eggs, leading to a final location with a prize for the winning team, but that’s just one idea–the glow-in-the-dark egg hunt sounds much simpler, but equally cool. I remember being in “that” age bracket (for me, I’d say about ages nine through thirteen), and Just Not Fitting In Anywhere. I was “too old” for “little kid” stuff (or at least, I felt like I was), and this was before I started high school and found my niche in music, student council, etc., there–by then, I was perfectly content with my extra-curricular and social life, but not before going through five years of feeling like I didn’t belong. I did join the Leader Corps at the YMCA when I was twelve, and I did take advanced swimming lessons, but the swimming lessons were aimed at funnelling us into lifeguard training, and swimming instructor training (yes, even at twelve), and the Leader Corps (and the leadership camps that ran in the summer) was about training us to volunteer in various kids’ programs. We had social events for Leader Corps members only, but there weren’t really any specific programs for our age group that were just about us, and the message I got was that we only really mattered in the context of Helping With The Younger Kids, because, aside from that, most of us both too old for the kids’ programs, and too young to use most of the gym facilities (cardio and weights machines, classes, etc.) I enjoyed helping with the younger kids, but now, looking back, as an adult, I think there should be more things for older kids/adolescents/teens, that let them know that they are enough as they are. I think it’s especially important for young people who aren’t athletic, or musical, or artistic, or theatrically inclined, or popular, or even really sure of who they are, especially in the context of the “bubble wrap” culture, where parents are unlikely to let their kids go out and make their own fun. The public library here has some programming for older kids and teenagers, but that’s a fairly recent thing–it certainly wasn’t there when I was that age.
Also, Dolly isn’t an idiot, and Barbie dolls were originally designed to entertain adult men, not toddlers.
I always hated Barbie dolls and I’ve never been pregnant. Hmm.
I liked baby dolls until I was about 9. At that point I had a baby brother and my mom would give me his hand-me-downs for my dolls. It was fun for a while. But that same year, I began to help with the actual baby (and eventually other babies/children), which was a lot more interesting than playing with dolls. The dolls got donated soon thereafter.
My neighbor had Barbies. She used to play with them like they were Miley Cyrus wanna-be’s, LOL. I was not interested in playing Loose Teenager. When I had no other choice, I’d play with her Dawn doll (the little sister). 😉
Cynthia – I don’t think kids need to be pushed to grow up, but I don’t think community egg hunts need to be reinvented to cater to them either. Playing with dolls and barbies you already have at home is different than expecting the town to continue to allow kids to participate in an egg hunt for free candy when their participation means that more plastic eggs and candy needs to be purchased. It is fine with me for the town to say “we only have enough money for so many eggs and so much candy and egg hunts are better suited for little kids so we aren’t letting big kids participate.”
I think egg hunt cut off around 9-11 is good. If kids want egg hunts after that, their parents can organize them at home like I did this weekend with some friends.
http://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/adolescent-health-topics/reproductive-health/teen-pregnancy/trends.html
According to this about 29 out of 1000 teenagers get preggers. So it is not crazily uncommon. Hell MTV’s top rated show is called “16 and Pregnant” and actually one of the girls from that show lives in my city.
Just wait till they get the idea in their tiny heads that inside each and every egg is a male genie waiting to molest a child.
Someone has been watching way too much CSI: SVU
Of the 29 out of 1000 teens who get pregnant, according to the link, 72% of them are 18 and 19. They are teens, but they are legally adults (and at an age that, for most of human history, was seen as not just fine but even ideal to have babies). I’m not sure that hunting for Easter eggs or playing with Barbies would keep those young adults from getting pregnant.
And, teen pregnancy rates have been dropping for decades, and continue to drop. I think there’s plenty of good reasons to not want your preteen emulating Miley Cyrus or consuming too much pop culture, but it’s not going to make them go out and get pregnant.
Aren’t eggs fertility symbols? Maybe we should keep our kids away from egg hunts lest they all run out and get pregnant.
Aren’t eggs and bunnies fertility symbols? Maybe we should keep our kids away from egg hunts lest they all run out and get pregnant.
And, like most negative things in the US, poverty is the major indicator as to whether you will get pregnant as a teenager. The vast majority of those 29 out of 1000 pregnancies are in poor populations and there are many social reasons for that and none of are the age egg hunts stop or playing with barbie or twerking.
How this discussion went from egg hunts to Barbies and teen pregnancy seriously has me baffled. But I am utterly SHOCKED that we have not heard about the peanut allergy yet.
lollipop,
We got on this track because that jackass Dolly went there.
According to her if your teen isn’t playing with toys 5 yrs below them, then they are watching MTV, twerking and getting pregnant.
Apparently she is the only one of her group that didn’t get pregnant as a teenager.
“Teens need not be shunted off. In fact, they should be mature enough to come watch their younger siblings hunt for eggs and cheer them on and without pouting because they don’t get to participate in something that should be below their level.”
BINGO!!!!
“Of the 29 out of 1000 teens who get pregnant, according to the link, 72% of them are 18 and 19. ”
And some of them are even married.
29 out of 1000 is not “crazy uncommon” but it’s a little different from “I’m the only one who didn’t.”
Insane… Way to make your egg hunt very hard on your own egg hunt staff. In fact if you had 150 kids and maybe 75 parents or grandparents, you’d need an hour to check everyone in and out and multiple staffers to do it. UGH! Come to my town – we ran an egg hunt with teenage volunteers from a local church and a couple of my park’s maintenance guys who came to help set up. Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and some older brother/sisters brought the younger kids. All we asked is that they line up and wait for the whistle to be blown. My childless neighbors and some grandparents whose grandchildren live far away came to watch the festivities and chat with the other adults as the kids conducted the business of finding eggs. No one gave them the squint eye – we were happy they came. The only thing I noticed is that one older sister with little brother in tow had forgotten an easter basket – but we (the park dist) brought extra bags and gave them to anyone lacking a basket. Fun time and the only thing taken from the park was candy.
Do any of you volunteer in your community? Estranged parents that are kidnapping risks are not common, but they aren’t rare either. If you have 100+ children, you’re going to have 2-10 where a non custodial parent is a kidnap risk.
So your choices include making those few kids out as freaks to be monitored,
or you set up a simple process that embarrasses no one that let’s you monitor quickly.
When I was a volunteer for 8 youth and one had a notice of estranged parent,
it was extremely stressful. I’m not trained in this, I’m not here for this, I’m here to help the youth have fun.
So, there are real issues of busy bodies that wreck lives and our parenting, but sometimes an event has rules and it’s not about you.
OK so there are estranged parents who would kidnap their kids. Yes, that is true. But if I were the custodial parent in that situation, I would be that much more careful and vigilant. I would not expect everyone else in town to act as if they are all at risk of being kidnapped any second.
What a sucky life that would be. Because it would mean never letting my kid out of my sight, ever. I’d probably try to move and change my name or something, or pray that he jerk screwed up enough to be thrown in jail.
Yes, from the single moms I know with estranged ex husbands, it’s terrible. When the ex husband isn’t just abusive, but a foreign/dual citizen, it’s worse because you worry about them fleeing to another country (it happens with the genders reversed, but less common).
So, do we punish the child and say, you can’t do activities? Do we let them come but tell mom we wash our hands of it and make the child a freak on lock down and hate it? Or do we all engage in a little security theatre so that the 3 kids were worried about are safe.
I can tell you when I had 8 youth and no warnings, I took them to drop off line and went on break. When I had 7 no warnings and 1 warning, I brought them all over and paid attention to the one youth. The kids had no idea why the security program was in place, most parents probably thought it was a waste of time because we never checked, but they didn’t realize was that we were checking for 3 of the 100 kids, and the rest was for show so those three could feel normal.
A wristband with a number that nobody checks like a small price to pay so another kid can participate.
No, the wristband is not a small price to pay, because it teaches all the kids that they are in danger of being kidnapped at the Easter egg hunt. How is that healthy?
Living in constant fear causes permanent brain damage. That is not “a small price to pay.”
Sorry Alex,
Someone else’s custody issues is not my responsibility, not by any stretch. And yes, been there done that with my wife’s ex husband.
We did not bother the school with it. We dealt with the police, the courts and got it settled. 90 days in provincial custody, court orders, and some great advice from our local police dept.
We took responsibility, we took control and did not depend on schools, or other parents to protect my daughter.
You gotta love a cop that tells you a private citizen is not held to the same standard as law enforcement, when it comes to assessing risk and responding to that risk.
If you start doing things for the odd child out for custody issues, you then have to include special needs, and every other child with some issues. Pickup then becomes chaos and a pain in the ass.
You see it as just another 15 mins. I add up all those 15 mins, and it turns into hours over a year. Sorry, deal with your own problems, I will deal with mine.
This is not about the parent with custody issues. This is about the volunteers putting on a program for you and your children and picking the easiest way to include as many children as possible. When you volunteer to run things, you can decide to exclude special needs kids.
Alex,
Give your head a shake. No one is saying to exclude anyone. What is being said is stop making everyone guardian of the custody, and or special needs. Stop treating our kids like they are at risk, when they are not.
If you have that serious of a custody issue, don’t just drop off your kid and leave. You stay there are do your job, as the parent. It is not hard to understand. If your kid is the one at risk, you take responsibility, and stop making others do your job.
So and so’s cutody battle has sweet F all to do with me or my kids. Therefore leave us out of it.
I’m getting sick of the constant “kidnapping” crap that surrounds my kids. It’s come to the point where they are saying “I could get kidnapped” and they wonder if their silly aunties actually care more for their well-being than I do. Maybe Mommy doesn’t care if we get stolen? Sick of it.
My head is on perfectly straight. I just taught a scout meeting using saws, etc. My kids go out on their own. However, when I’m running a community event, I try to include everyone, including kids with special needs, including those with a crappy parent (or teo).
I notice the parent complaining about the procedure wasn’t volunteering to run the event, just complaining that they didn’t like the process out on by the people running the event that they presumably showed up for, presumably for free.
Teaching independence to your children doesn’t grant you the entitlement to never be inconvenienced while someone else is doing something for you.
The government didn’t require that for attending school, it was for a free community event.
And I’m telling you why these seemingly bizarre siultuatiobs come up, to avoid penalizing the child for adult issues by making them a freak. The author was more than welcome to host their own egg hunt. They don’t have the right to demand that other children be excluded or made into second class citizens to avoid offending their sensibilities.
I guarantee nobody checked her band, it was theater. Guess what, these things let those of is that do volunteer and run community events do so and include all children, not just children whose parents don’t suck.
Alex, then I guess your egg hunt will also force all the kids to sit in wheelchairs to hunt the eggs lest the one child in a wheelchair feel left out. And all the kids must be blindfolded to be fair to the one blind kid. Etc. etc.
Do you really think kids want all their friends and neighbors to have to do inconvenient stuff to make them feel less “different”? I don’t think so.
There has to be a way to provide access to all kids without pretending that the entire event is a massive kidnapper magnet. And, I don’t believe that is why they did it, to be honest.
So volunteer and run the event. Sniping from the sidelines and critiquing the volunteers running it isn’t independence. It’s being petty and small.
If you really can’t see the difference between a kid in a wheel chair (whose always in a wheel chair), and a youth who unfortunately has an awful parent/relative than you simply have been reading your own bullshit.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but “check your privilege”. Seriously it’s a wristband with a number on it for the event. If you don’t want to pay the admission of wearing the wristband, then don’t go. However, there is a serious lack of compassion for either the people running the event, those volunteering to help, and kids in crappy situations… All over the entitled self righteousness of someone who isn’t volunteering, isn’t helping, and is just freeloading on the event.
Alex,
Get off your high horse. I do volunteer, I do coach and when we do so we are there for the whole, and are not going to waste our time and resources babysitting a child with custody issues. That is the parents job, and in extreme cases the police forces’ job.
If a parent wants their child to be involved despite the custody issue, then they get off their fat ass and do something. Do not expect us to get involved. Custody issues are legal and personal issues, and absolutely none of ours or your business.
And it is completely unfair to treat a normal parent/child relationship as a potential custody abduction risk. Rather insulting as well. Also, heaven help the volunteer that tries to stop me from getting my kid because of some stupid bracelet rule.
Been there done that with schools during bus strikes and such. The schools lost. And so will your little dictatorship.
Alex, I have to agree with Warren and say, get off your high horse. I have put on many charity events. Most of them involved kids in foster care or residential care. Never did I require parents / guardians to show ID, and never did anyone snatch one of the children.
I would put my volunteer hours up against pretty much anyone’s. Watch what you say when you don’t even know whom you are talking to.
I also don’t like these types of “checks” to ensure the right kid goes with the right parent. We had an issue at the YMCA a month ago when my kids went to a spring break camp there for the first time. My kids lovingly refer to it as “daycare”. When I went to pick my kids up on the last day a new person was watching the kids. She had never met me, nor had she ever met my kids.
I went to take my kids and she asked me for an ID, which I didn’t have with me. She then jumped through hoops verifying my identity by ringing my mobile phone. The odd part was, she didn’t know which kids were mine so I could have picked any two and went home. Senseless.
“How this discussion went from egg hunts to Barbies and teen pregnancy seriously has me baffled. But I am utterly SHOCKED that we have not heard about the peanut allergy yet.”
Maybe it is because the mamas of kiddos with peanut allergies are realizing that the general public freaking doesn’t care if they kill a kid over their “God-given right” to have peanut products included in everything…so we just don’t take our kiddos to egg hunts or trick or treating anymore…and come up with anything and everything we can to help our kids not feel left out when freaking EVERYTHING kid related these days revolves around food that is life threatening to our kids!!
So this year a homeschool group that we belong to (most of whom are homeschooling their kiddos because of those life threatening allergies that the general public could care less about accommodating for) actually organized a non-candy, non-food egg hunt. Everything included in the eggs was things like stickers, small toys, and the like. No life threatening candy involved whatsoever…and the non-allergic kids had so much fun they never even realized the difference.
@Rainey
Sorry but why the hell should we alter our traditions and customs to suit you and your allergic kid?
Instead of whining about it, teach your kid what to eat and touch and what to avoid. That way they can participate, in safety.
I am sick and tired of all you whining lazy parents that want the rest of the world to do your job.