(Public) Bathroom Humor

My son is 5 years old, almost 6. He started using the Men’s room without me about a year ago. I usually stand right outside the door and wait for him.

One of the first few times he used the men’s room by himself we were at Chick-Fil-A. My younger daughter was playing with a friend in the playground, so I opted to stay with her, rather than wait outside the bathroom for my son. I could easily see the bathroom from where I was sitting so I wasn’t worried. Well apparently he had to poop and didn’t tell me this, so after about 10 minutes I started to wonder what he was doing. I had visions of toilet paper strew all over the bathroom, because he got distracted and decided to play instead, as 4 year old boys sometimes do. I made my way back to the bathroom just as another gentleman was coming out of the bathroom. I must have looked concerned, because he said, don’t worry, he is in there singing his little heart out. I just heard a flush, so I suspect he will be out in a minute. Sure enough he came trotting out a minute later, very proud of himself. Nobody said anything to me about not letting him do that. In fact to this day, only one person has ever said anything to me about it, and it was a positive. It was a women with all girls, who liked the fact that I didn’t allow my son to use the ladies room anymore, she said, “kids have to grow up sometime, when he is a teenager he can’t follow you into the bathroom, so why not teach him now”

My elder son is on the verge of 4. This past summer, my two sons and I met a friend and her son at a children’s museum. The boys all scampered off, and she and I got to chatting. After ten minutes or so, I looked around and couldn’t find either son. They weren’t in any of the exhibits. I know they couldn’t leave, but I couldn’t figure out where they were. In the far corner of the museum are the bathrooms (single rooms– doors open into museum). I saw one of the doors open. I peeked inside, and there were my boys. The elder was washing his hands and the younger was unrolling the toilet paper. He said he needed to go, so he took it upon himself to find the bathroom and take care of business. It never crossed his mind to tell me what he was doing or to have me go with him. His little brother just followed him in. They are very independent. 🙂

My son was 4.5 and he asked to go by himself to the men’s room. We were at Sweet Tomatoes and the bathroom was 10 feet from the table. So I let him go. And so it went on from there.

I starting let him go with his little brother when they were 7 and 4. I stayed outside the door for awhile just to make sure they could get themselves back together. Predators rarely cross my mind.

My son had started to get very frustrated by me insisting on following him to the bathroom and that was making me very frustrated. So during dinner at O’Charley’s he said he needed to go to the bathroom and I asked him if he knew where it was and he said he did. I could watch him the entire way to the bathroom and back and when he did return to the table, he had a huge smile on his face and was very proud of himself. I wouldn’t trade that moment to build up his confidence in himself for anything.

My son’s first experience with going by himself was when he was 4 and at our local science center. I had no problem with it and it felt like a good time to start. The problem that I saw was that he can’t reach the taps or soap to wash his hands. So often he comes out of the Mens room, then we need to go into the family room where they have a stool or in the Women’s room where I lift him up to reach.
I’ve only had positive comments from other adults.

Dawn

My boys turned 3 this past July. By September, they were insisting on going into their own stall in public restrooms. Rather than argue with them, I decided to give it a go. So far, they’ve done quite well. They’ve figured out stall locks, different flush mechanisms, and a variety of sinks – all without my assistance. They’ve also learned how to discreetly check to see if a stall is occupied rather than crawling on the floor or under a door (a pet peeve of mine). All of this is taking place in the women’s wash room for now, but I’m pretty much ok with them going to the men’s room once they decide they’re ready.

Okay… I’m reposting myself, but here’s a message I posted to the freerange kids feedback section back in August.

I was taking my younger daughter to a Philadelphia Phillies game. I’ve taken each of the girls to two games this year.

This night, I was with my 5 (now 6) year old. We were waiting in line for the in-stadium restaurant (Harry the K’s for any Phillie fans familiar with the place) and my little one told me she needed to go to the bathroom… the line at Harry the Ks can get pretty long and we were about 6 parties away from being seated at the time.

The bathrooms were about 20 feet away… or I should say, the exit to the bathroom was. I’m still not sure where the entrance to these bathrooms is – nowhere in sight, to be sure.

But I realized that even though there were 45000 people there – they were almost assuredly there to see a baseball game and not to cause harm. I told my girl to head in the exit, do her business and then come right back.

A ladies bathroom with a high volume of turnover – people walking out every 10 seconds or so – is not likely to be a hiding place for someone looking to snatch a kid.

After she disappeared, I was a bit concerned – mostly because I couldn’t see where she might come out if she got turned around and decided to go out the entrance – which must have been on the other side of the restaurant building.

About 3 minutes later – just long enough for me to start feeling anxiety, but not long enough for real fear – she came hopping out of the bathroom and joined me back on the steps – the next party to be seated.

Here’s what felt so liberating – I knew that she knew where I was and where I was going to be. I knew that she could do her thing and find her way back. And I knew that the reality in a situation like that is that if she had any problems, the VAST majority of adults would be there to HELP – not harm.

In the last year, I’ve sent my kids on a few errands or small adventures – joining us in the grocery store at the far end of the shopping center from the Taekwon Do school after a lesson was over. Going out into the parking lot of that same shopping center with key to the car in hand in order to retrieve a book or video game. But those “trial runs” were in a local community where it was pretty likely that we or the kids would see someone we knew well on any given day in that parking lot.

This was different – this was the “big, scary city” and crowds of STRANGERS (oh my!).

I knew my daughter wasn’t afraid (though I also know that she is not reckless when it comes to adults approaching her – part of what she is learning in self defense in Taekwon Do) and I wasn’t afraid either.

I have a same sex child so going to the bathroom by herself has not really been as much of an issue as I imagine that it would be with a boy. She has been using different stalls than me in the bathroom since she was 3.

The first time I let her go into a public bathroom by herself was right around her 4th birthday in the children’s section of the local library. I continued to look at books while she went in. The children’s section is not big and the picture books are right by the bathroom so I didn’t consider this a great free range feat.

For the last 6 months or so, I’ve let her go to the bathroom by herself in small restaurants and stores – completely by herself with me staying at the table and not waiting outside the door. I even tried to let her use the bathroom by herself at the Taco Stand which requires her going outside and walking around the building to an outside entrance bathroom but that didn’t work too well – she was too short to turn on the light.

I allow my child to use the bathroom by herself even though I lived in San Diego when a young boy was brutally murdered in a public men’s room. While it’s made me pause to think for a minute, in reality that boy was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time and unfortunately ran into a delusional person hellbent on killing someone – something that could happen to any child whether we are present in the room or not.

My son was four or five, and we were at some outdoor festival. He had to go, and the line for the women’s room was about a mile long, so I sent him into the men’s room by himself. It was one of those portable trailers, but it only had one entrance/exit, so I told him to remember to wash his hands, and off he went. No onlooker reaction, spouse was fine with it–I think I was the most worried person involved.

My son is now 13, and has been freely riding his bike around town for last year or two. The only reason I won’t let him ride to school is the idiot drivers–the only route to the middle school is along a major artery (speed limit 35 mph, most drive 40-45), and there is no traffic light at the left turn onto the school street.

My oldest is 5 and insists on using the men’s room “just like daddy.” Since he’s not wrong, I let him. Generally I try and keep within earshot of the restroom (not because I am afraind of “what might happen” but in case he needs help with something).
I was doing this in a grocery story recently and was chastised by an older woman who felt the need to educate me on all the horrors of the men’s room. I just smiled and thanked her for being concerned but let her know that *I* wasn’t concerned.

Another thing – I have four children total (two are still in carseats and the baby is generally sleeping when we are out and about). When we have a potty emergency, I have been known to pull up to the door at McDs and let the two oldest go in together (buddy system!) while I stay in the car. They are 5yo and 4yo and have never had a problem or had anyone say anything negative to them (or me!).

After 5, I started encouraging my son to go in to the men’s alone. If they were particularly crowded, he sometimes came back out and asked to go into the ladies with me. I didn’t mind that. After all, I was listening to him and taking his lead on what he was ready for.

Now that he is 7, he goes alone consistently. After a movie, for instance, I usually pop in the ladies and tell him to meet me in the lobby when he’s finished in the men’s.

I honestly can’t remember exactly when I quit having a kid with me in the stall, because my youngest is going to be 10 in January. I suppose it’s been since he was 3 or so. All 3 of my kids are afflicted with “This is a new place so we have to check out the restroom facilities” as well as “We’ve been here lots of times and the bathrooms are really cool” so I learned a long time ago that if I ever wanted to get any errands done when I had my kids with me, I should let them go potty by themselves.

My son is 5.5 yrs old. He started using the men’s room at Disneyland sometime last year. He refuses to go into the women’s room when he can. It is frustrating but I really don’t have any issues with it.

For us, the hardest part is being female (my sister and I) and having a young boy who has refused to use a women’s bathroom since he was 5. The boy tends to be pokey in the bathroom sometimes, so we just hang out outside wondering what is going on. Eventually we ask a man coming out of the bathroom what is going on inside, and wait it out. It’s never really been a problem.

Interestingly my father (80 years old) thought we were nuts for letting him, at the age of 5, go in alone (like we could have stopped him at that point!!) He seemed to have a dim view of what went on in public mens’ rooms.

And I taught the kids the number-one hard-and-fast rule of public restrooms:

ALWAYS, always check if there is toilet paper before you select a stall!!

A little different from some of the other stories:

I was at the mall with my three girls, at the time 3, 5 and 7. We had just gotten lunch in the food court, unwrapped everything and started to eat when my youngest announced she had to go to the bathroom. I surveyed all the food, the shopping bags, the stroller; thought about packing it all up and dragging it all into a germy mall bathroom. Looked around, saw a nice-looking older couple at the next table and apologetically said, “Excuse me, my youngest here needs me to take her to the restroom; would you mind keeping an eye on her two sisters?” Of course they said yes, of course the big girls sat quietly and ate and of course everything was fine.

Trusting those around us and asking for a hand when necessary–what a concept!

I started telling my sons around age 4 that by the time they were six, barring crazy situations (like bathrooms known for drug dealing… I know that sounds bizarre, but I do know of one in a place we have occasionally visited…) they were expected to use the bathroom in the men’s room without me. At age 5, they began using the men’s room alone in places where they were comfortable already. As they approached their 6th birthday, I urged them to go to the bathroom alone, with me waiting for them, in most places. However, I noticed something strange. I seemed to be the only parent doing this. I witnessed as parents with kids older than them took their opposite gendered kids into the bathrooms with them. A couple of times, my sons were with friends who were also male and needed to use the bathroom. I sent my sons into the men’s and the other mother ushered hers into the women’s, much to my boys’ confusion. No one’s ever said anything to me about it. However, this has finally started to change and now my kids have gone to the men’s room a couple of times with other 6 yos whose parents seemed to think if my kids were doing it, it must be all right.

Amusingly, one of my sons, who has long hair, has been stopped from entering the correct gender bathroom a couple of times by adults who thought a little girl was alone and lost and had wandered into the wrong place. Um… he can read, you know!

My friend Ronda reported this:

“There are few restrooms I’ve let my son (age 5, now 6) go in solo already… depends on the place or how busy. I’ve taught him to whistle while he goes then I can keep an ‘ear’ at the door for him and everything being OK.

I do have a funny retold story to me… about two young girls that had to use a boys restroom at a school once. They came out commenting that yes they had washed their hands using the blue soap in the strange sinks hanging on the wall. YUCK!”

My kids (boy and girl, aged 7 and 8) started using the public toilets by themselves from about 5 or 6 – in other words, once they had started school. Suddenly at school the toilets are separated into boys and girls, so my son was no longer happy to be going into the female room. And also, because the children are let out of their classrooms to walk to the toilets by themselves, they suddenly had no problems with going by themselves.

Was I nervous the first time? Hell yes! Do I clock watch while they’re in there? Absolutely. But it’s a total non-issue to them, they don’t even realise that I’m slightly nervous about them doing it.

My kids started going on their own – in selected public bathrooms – soon after they turned 3. Of course, since my kids are short, it only works if I know they can reach the sinks. And it has to be a bathroom where I know it’s reasonably clean and safe. Other than that, the only difference between going at home and going in public is the need to wipe the seat first. Not a very hard thing to learn.

People’s reaction (if any) is usually negative, unfortunately. Some people seem to live for the purpose of imagining horrible events.

Which makes me wonder – has anyone ever actually known a little girl who was abducted or otherwise harmed in the ladies’ room, when her mom was aware she was in there? I mean, the ladies’ room doesn’t seem to be a likely hangout for child molesters, especially since it’s usually full of everyday moms.

My very shy and quiet son was about 4.5 when he asked me if he could please go to the bathroom on his own at a B&N bookstore. I let him go, and the only thing he needed help with was the heavy door in and out. I was so happy that my son was speaking up for his wants, which he doesn’t do much of.

He almost always goes in on his own now. It’s just easier to let him go, and really good for him to learn to deal with people on his own just a little bit. He’s very shy, and if there are a lot of people in the bathroom it’s difficult for him to go in alone. When I point out that it’s go into the men’s bathroom alone or go with me into the women’s (I stand outside the stall if he chooses this), most times he’ll make it on his own into the men’s room.

I met my wife when her son (now my son) was 4 1/2. We were at Disneyland when he had to use the restroom. He followed me into the mens room and I pointed to the childs urinals (assuming he knew how to use it). I took care of my own business and turned around to check on him. There he was standing in front of the urinal, cheeks hanging in the breeze. He had completely dropped trow. Rather than freaking out, I let him finish his business, made sure he washed his hands and told him of the minor faux pas later. I’ll never forget trying to not laugh outloud when I turned around and saw him standing there. Priceless.

When I saw “bathroom humor,” I’m sorry, but I thought Lenore was requesting adult-type of bathroom humor. I was like–what?

Don’t get me wrong, I’d been happy to oblige–yes, I’m tasteful, but I’m sorry, I laugh at “adult” toilet humor all the time–but then I read the rest, it makes more sense.

The only story I have of this type? Well, I do train my children to behave well, but I also like to have fun too. My 3 ½ girl, on command, with very little prompting, I can get
her to tell almost anyone “I farted.” Ha ha ha.

It goes like this:

Me: “Tell ’em Helen.”
Helen: “I farted.” (And she smiles because she knows laughter is coming.)

Ha ha ha.

Sorry I couldn’t help better.

LRH

As an aside, as a 34 year old man, I’m afraid to go into the Birmingham Greyhound station’s bathroom by myself. If you’ve been there you’ll know why.

I think my son was about 2 1/2 – totally Mr. Independent. I’m pretty sure there were times he couldn’t reach the soap and/or water but a bit of hand sanitizer works I guess. My daughter was probably 3 1/2 – not nearly as independent. I sent her to the public restroom within the building where the pediatrician has her office. I was sure we would be called if we left and it wasn’t far away so I figured she would be fine. She wasn’t. She came back with eyes so big I thought she’d seen a ghost!! When I tried to ask what happened while attempting to stay calm, she managed to blurt out that the toilet had tried to swallow her WHILE SHE WAS STILL GOING!!! And then it dawned on me that the toilet had the automatic flushers and she’d probably triggered the sensor somehow. Poor kid is almost 13 and still hates those kind of toilets!

“Which makes me wonder — has anyone ever actually known a little girl who was abducted or otherwise harmed in the ladies’ room, when her mom was aware she was in there?”

Yeah. My best friend had a man come into the girl’s bathroom and expose himself and try to get the girls to touch his penis. She was not a really little girl – older elementary or middle school – when it happened.

And there was the 9 year old in San Diego who had his throat slit in the boy’s room at a park while his aunt waited outside about 12 years ago.

All in all, like everything else, it has happened but is not a common occurrence.

My oldest boy gets distracted, and will wash his hands forever. I let him go on his own starting last year. He is now 8. He is also very trusting of people and would do anything that an adult asked, so I was not comfortable until then. I particularly like letting him go into the one at the store that says that parents must accompany their kids into the bathroom!

I also have a 5 year old boy. He has long hair down to his bottom (like his dad.) Despite dressing in boy clothes, he gets called a girl a lot. I do let him go into the mens room, and will also send him to get his brother to finish washing up so we can go. He has gotten quite a few comments about going into the wrong room – but he does have the same “equipment” which any guy could see as soon as he goes up to the urinal. Oh, and the comments have always been from women. I guess they wanted to save him from the “trauma” or something. Or, maybe the guys from embarrassment…nah, mostly the first.

From the other side. I frequently have kids ask me for help in the bathroom. Sometimes it is reaching the soap, or getting the automatic sinks to work for them.

The twist is I can’t touch the soap – it will burn my skin. So I tell them this and offer to give them a boast. The only thing a parent has ever said was to the child that she shouldn’t be bothering me.

The kid responded but she is a teacher and teacher’s help kids. Now this mall was 30 min from where I teach and this kid was not one of my 700+ students. (There are so few blond blue eyed kids at my school I would probably recognize them out of context)

So I asked her how did you know that – she pointed to my belt. I keep my ID and keys on a lanyard that I tie to a belt loop, and I had stopped on the way home from work. Pretty clever kids.

I just had a first experience with the Grandparents in a public place and letting my children go to the restroom.

See, first of all, I had to learn that my kids take FOR-E-VERRRRR in the bathroom. I don’t know why, they just always have, home and while out. It was scary to realize that in a public place, but while guarding the exits and listening, I realized I don’t need to pace the bathroom doors and scare people who just need to take a wee.

Needless to say, now, when they go, they get a while before I even start to worry. My in-laws were here for my son’s birthday dinner. Of course, my daughter (a good 15 minutes in the pot), wanted to go. After about 5 minutes, in-law#1 gets fidgety. Suggests, maybe, I should check? I tell her with a wave of my hand, nah. It’s all good.

5 minutes later, twitchy McGee says, “You sure she’s alright? I mean, it’s been a long time!” I say, “Yep. She’s fine. She takes forever.”

5 minutes later, ants-in-the-pants says, “She really does take a long time… you sure she’s ok?” Since she looked like she was about to pass out, I agreed to check on my daughter. I get up from the table and lo – daughter wanders back to the table, ready to resume dinner. I look at Gma and shrug with a smile: “Told you.”

Gma: “Oh my goodness! You do take a long time!”

Moral of the story… if you know your kids, you know your kids. 😀

Just last week I allowed my children (boy 7, girl almost 5) go to the bathroom alone in the grocery store. I told them to meet me back in the produce section where we were and let them walk away. The restroom is at the opposite corner of the store. I couldn’t see them at all. Yes, my heart was in my throat. Yes I looked around nervously wondering what crazy predator might have heard me and was now following them. Yes, I lingered over the cucumbers for what seemed like eons waiting to see or hear any sign of them coming back to me. And they did – smiling from ear to ear. Today they asked to go again. Guess that taste of freedom was sweet.

Here in Perth, Western Australia, we had a terrible tragedy a few years ago. A young girl was assaulted and murdered in a public disabled toilet at a shopping centre. The link is here.
http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/police-name-murdered-girl/2006/06/27/1151174178075.html
It’s not clear from the article, but from what I remember, she may have gone to the toilet while her family waited nearby – I’m not sure about the ‘snatched/abducted’ part.
Anyway – why post it here? I think the key is to think about it in the context of risk. As far as I can tell, there are only about 6-8 murders of females in WA each year. And only 1 or 2 are of children. So this type of assault, although a terrible tragedy, is also incredibly rare. It probably best serves as an example of the ‘what if’ that every free range parent worries about – ‘what if my child is the one in a million who crosses the path of a psychotic?”
Although I know in my heart that I could live my whole life and never hear of another tragedy like this, it does worry me. But my head says that I can’t let that stop me from letting my children be free-range.
However I think its fair to recognise that many of us free-range parents still DO worry, even though we know that the chance is one-in-a-million. We just hope that our child won’t be that one.

I started letting my son use public men’s rooms by himself when he was about 3. It was an independence and a “just like Daddy” thing for him.

Since he could pee standing up, I wasn’t worried about dirty toilet seats, messy peeing, or the like, and we would usually go into the women’s room afterward to wash up.

I definitely got a few surprised, questioning glances from friends and strangers, but no one challenged me. And I did feel the occasional touch of nerves while he was in there. I couldn’t totally escape the question in my own head, “What if there’s a pervert in there?” But I swallowed my fears, remembered the stats, and let him go for it. He’s now 4, pees quite well by himself, thank you, and is a pretty self-assured, independent, but reasonably careful kid.

When my older son was 4 we were attending a childrens playgroup hosted by a daycare in a local elementary school. I was speaking to the playgroup facilitator when my son told me he needed to go to the washroom. We had been to this school many times before, and he know exactly where to find the washrooms, so i said, “Go ahead, hurry back.” The facilitator looked at me anf say “Oh no, he can’t go to the washroom by himself. You need to go with him for safety.” She then proceeded to tell me that her 12 year old son still accompanies her into the ladies washroom. I almost threw up in my mouth.

*

My kid, who is now eight and a quarter (sigh), has been regularly using public washrooms on her own for … I guess about three years? About the time it finally occurred to me, well, she needs to go, I’m eating, I can go with her and let my food get cold or I can let her go on her own. She’s not a large kid, so the main issue we’ve had has been with places where she couldn’t reach the soap, the taps, etc. She also really dislikes those auto-flushing toilets … so do I 😛

We did once have a Washroom Incident. In our old neighbourhood is a tiny mom-and-pop fish & chips restaurant which we like very much, and we used to eat there every couple of weeks. As is common in that neighbourhood, the washrooms (one toilet for each sex) are down a long, steep flight of stairs; the doors are a bit rickety. The first time DD used the ladies’ on her own at this place, she seemed to be taking a loooong time, so I went down to check on her, and found she was sobbing behind the door — it had stuck (you know how doors sometimes get too big in damp weather?) and she wasn’t able to get it open on her own. I let her out, and all was well — she hadn’t had any trouble until the washroom refused to release her 😀

We have never had anyone comment on our neglectful behaviour, that I can recall…

Hi Lenore, I have a very simple story of the first time my son Cam (now 12) used a public loo for the first time. Cam and myself were out walking up and down Brentwood High Street in Essex with Cam’s brand new baby sister in a pram. Cam needed the loo. The public toilets in Brentwood are underground, you access them by stairs. I was preparing to take the baby out (this was winter…lots of layers0 do the usual “stop the pram from flipping up now the baby is out” thing, when Cam said “No I want to go in the mens like I do with Dad”. A man about to go down to the toilets overherad and said “I’ll take him down”, I hesitated and he quickly followed up with “If you stand at the top of the stairs you can see the entrance to the mens, I’ll stand there in th doorway and make sure he’s OK and you can keep an eye on me”. I felt embarrassed that this man has anticipated my waryness, but his kindness really touched me. When he came back with a proud Cam I thanked him and he was so nice, and said that he only did what he knew his wife would be happy with. The baby is now nearly 7 and many a time at the shopping centre her fabulous brother will walk her to the loos and wait outside the ladies for her (why do they always want the loo when you are right in the middle of the food shop from hell?)
I just love community minded people.

My 6-year old daughter has been going to the bathroom in restaurants by herself now for a year or two. She wanted to do it herself and we let her. She is now happy to ask the waiters where to find the bathroom and we wait at the table for her. She is so proud about doing it by herself! So far we have not received weird comments. Sometimes other parents are surprised that we do it (but less worried then about the fact that our daughter walks 5 blocks to the school bus stop by herself…)

One of the first times I let my oldest son (Nathaniel) go to the bathroom by himself he was 5 or 6. We were in a truck stop and he insisted he goes in alone. So I stood outside of the door waiting for him. After a while I tried to sneak a peak in the door when ever some one would come out or go in, because he was taking longer than normal. At one point the door opened and there was some guy holding him up at the sink so that my son could wash his hands. My heart about stoped but then the next time the door was opened it was that same man walking out and saw me waiting and let me know Nathaniel was drying his hands, but he couldn’t reach the sink to wash his hands so he had asked for help. When my son came out we headed to the car, and the whole way I contemplated whether or not I should talk to him about it. But I let it drop, he handled himself well even if he asked a stranger to pick him up.

My daughter (Savannah) is four and constantly asks to go to the bathroom by herself, most of the time I let her (As long as I know the bathrooms are fairly clean), but even when she goes alone I usually have to stand at the door because most bathroom doors (not the stall doors, but the main ones) are too heavy for her to pull open by her self.

My youngest son (Roscoe) is three and most often I let Nathaniel take him to the potty, I have gotten a few bad looks when I’m standing in check out at walmart and send my boys to the bathroom alone, I just shrug it off, no one has actually ever said anything to me.

The funny thing is, that before I read free range kids(a year or so ago I think), I probably wouldn’t have let them go alone. I was overwhelmed with the idea that as soon as they left my sight that they would disappear … But the book helped me realize that I survived a free range childhood so the chances that my kids would too were pretty good.

I always go in with my daughter, even if it is just to hold the stall door shut. She’s 4.

Earlier this summer, just before she turned 4 I let her use a washroom alone. We were at a play area in a mall, climbing structures, slides and the like. In order to be in the structure all children had to be in stocking feet – no bare feet. Parents could go inside with the kids if they wanted to, or could sit in the observation area. Being the free range parent that I am, I signed her in and sent her off to play while I sat down.

After a while she hollered at me that she had to go to the bathroom. There was a washroom for her to use, but she wanted me to come in. The catch? I had flip flops on, and no socks.

The attendant refused to let me in to the area to accompany my daughter unless I had socks on. Socks were available at the sign in desk for $6. I figured that she was perfectly capable of going to the washroom on her own, so I told her to go in, and to ask another mom if she needed any help. In she went, and a couple of minutes later she came running out, proud as can be, to tell me she did it on her own and that she had washed her hands and got her own paper towel. The look of accomplishment on her face erased any doubt I had about sending her in on her own.

My husband is way less free range than I am, and would probably have kittens if he knew, but she did just fine. It was a really controlled environment and I could see where she was. Much different than sending her off on her own and hoping for the best. Now we both know she can do it, and we will try it again, as the situation warrants.

My son has been using the public restroom alone since he was 6. So far we’ve never had anyone ever even raise an eyebrow at us. He’s 9 now and we let him walk across where ever we are to use the bathroom. The girls have also been using the bathroom since around that age and have been taking their baby sister with them since she was 3 (helping her onto the toilet and to wash her hands).

My favorite potty story happened just last month. We were at a pizza place that was pretty packed. Since we’re a large family (5 kids) they seated us at 2 different tables. Me, hubby, the baby and our 4yo daughter were at one booth and the older kids (10, 9 and almost 8) were about 3 booths down across the aisle from us.

Anyway, the place is mainly a pizza buffet but you can also order steak and ribs cooked to order. Just as our steak and ribs arrived our 4yo decided she just HAD to go to the bathroom. This usually results in a game of rock/paper/scissors between me and my husband or we tell the girls to take her. Our son (the 9yo) just happened to be standing next to the table (trying to steal some ribs) so we asked him to take her.

So off they went. We could actually see the bathroom doors from our table but that wouldn’t have mattered to us. She refused to go into the boys room so he opened the heavy door to the girls room and waited outside for her. It was so cute. When she was finally done she came out with a big smile (and wet hands) and they came running back.

The waitress just smiled at them and no one thought anything of 2 kids using the bathroom on their own.

And there was this time I had to run into Target to pick up something quick. My son (then 8) had to go really bad so he came in with me (other kids were in the car with my husband and it was pouring so we didn’t want to drag everyone in). So we get inside and I’m like, “go use the bathroom.” At first he freaked out because I was implying he go alone which he’d never done in a big store before. I pointed to where the bathrooms were and told him where I would be. We went our separate ways. He never showed up to where I told him I would be so I went back to the front of the store to find him hovering near by. He didn’t see the sign that said the mens room was around the corner so didn’t know where to go. I explained it to him and then he went to the bathroom and I checked out. I was waiting for him at the front door and he was so proud. Now the kids wander all over the store when we shop and he has no problem going to use the bathroom on his own.

And he’s not stupid. When he was 7 or so we were at Red Robin for lunch and just as we were leaving he said he had to pee. I told him to go use the bathroom and we’d probably meet him at the car. No big deal. Ten minutes into the ride home he started complaining he really had to go. Come to find out he went into the mens room but there were so many adults in there he didn’t feel comfortable using the urinals and the stalls were taken so he left. Who would have though a 7yo could make a rational decision on his own?

As many people here, the first time I let my daughter use a public bathroom on her own was one of those times when I needed to be at least in three places at the same time.
Just picture a crowded supermarket, a long cash line, a mum with four kids (6, 5, 3 and 1 1/2) running late for an appointment.
Just one more customer to go, and when I start to lay my purchase on the belt, the eldest realizes she has a strong urge to use the bathroom. Damn. People behind me in line start to drool, thinking I’ll leave with my kids (one less customer to wait for). After half an hour waiting, and running late? No way.
Fortunately, this is a place we come to almost daily, so I think my daughter will remember where the bathroom is, and how to proceed. Maybe. With luck. So I ask her if she feels up to going on her own. Her face lights up and immediately answers “yes!!”. My second daughter sees her opportunity and quickly states that she also has to use the bathroom. The customer right behind me seems ready to pounce. I think, fine, there’s safety in numbers, right?
So I just improvise the rules: keep together. If you need help, ask a lady for it (someone who can go in with you). When you finish, wash your hands. Don’t fool around and come right back to help me carry our stuff in the car. If you don’t, and I waste time having to look for you, there’s no TV in a week.
And so they left (gentleman behind me glares accusingly at me). They came back 5-10 mins. later to help me, and told me everything went fine, but they needed someone to help them reach the tap to wash their hands, and a lady helped them, and she seemed amused (I could see her in the distance, watching them, seeing me, waving “OK then”, and returning to her business).
As to other people’s reactions, no one looked scandalised. They seemed more intrigued to see how we’d manage, and certainly everyone in line were craning their necks as much as I did, waiting for the girls to come back. Good thing, too, because if the proverbial looming kidnapper happened to be around, there were another ten people at least who would raise the alarm.

I’ve been letting both my boys (6 and 3) go to the selected public toilets by themselves for as long as I’ve been able to be certain that they’ll do it in the right spot and not make a mess.

Generally, though, they only go in the women’s or unisex toilets – partly because that’s where they always go with me and partly because I want to be able to go in and check if I feel like something is amiss.

My six year old asked to go to the men’s toilet in a shopping centre by himself for the first time on the weekend. I said sure and arranged to meet him outside the door once I’d been as well. I hadn’t even gotten into the stall in the women’s when he came up behind me. He’d skipped into the men’s, gone for a slide on something on the floor and landed with a painful thump on his butt. I gave him the serious life lesson that one should never, ever skip, run or jump in the vicinity of a men’s urinal and tried not to laugh.

For the last few weeks I’ve been letting three year old go into the women’s change rooms and toilets on his own at the swimming pool. It’s a little bit of laziness on my part. That kid goes to the toilet every 10 minutes when he’s swimming and I got sick of following him in and out of the toilet – but it also interfered with me supervising my older boy in the pool.

That said, I’d think twice about letting them go into the toilets alone in a place I wasn’t familiar with.

Late last spring I took the girls to see Babies (after seeing the trailer here) and one had to use the bathroom during the movie. She was 6 at the time. I didn’t want to go! So, I did the mental check list… it’s a matinée, the theatre is almost empty. The restroom is just a bit down the hall outside our screen, there’s an employee just a bit further taking tickets. So I said, go for it, come right back, don’t make me come find you. And she did! Of course she also took the lonnnnng way around to our seats but just as I was starting to think maybe I should go look for her I spied her down at the front row checking stuff out. And naturally her sister wanted to go immediately after.

I did get a little flak at home, my partner thinking it was too soon. But seeing how proud they are when they do something independently has brought her around. Well that and the fact that nothing terrible happened!

I started sending my 2 girls into public bathrooms as soon as they were able to ‘take care of business’ themselves. I got a few looks but nothing ever happened. It was rather boring (as one would expect), aside from my oldest telling me of a few things she READ on the bathroom walls. I didn’t know you ladies wrote stuff like that on bathroom walls like some guys do…..

Actually, come to think of it, there were several times where the girls told me ladies helped them with sinks or dryers…

My son has travelled from Italy to Canada and back again with me several times. He is now almost 8 and in airports he goes in the male’s bathroom while I wait outside the door. We also travel cross-country every summer to go from Northern Italy to Southern Italy and on the way we stop at what are called “AUTOGRILL” , basically diners with small supermarkets inside. If he is with his Dad and needs to go, he goes in with Dad, if he is with me, he goes into the boy’s room and I go to the ladies’, he ends up waiting outside of my stall….

I let my four year old start using the men’s room right after he turned 4. He started to recognize the difference between the signs on the door and wanted to go to the BOYS room. I let him go by himself for the first time in an Arby’s at lunchtime. He was fine except that he had some trouble reaching the soap. He got some help by another fellow who was in there at the same time. That’s right – helped by a stranger! go figure. I let him go by himself all the time now; I wish I could convince my husband to do the same!

On a different public restroom note, I took my younger son to the bathroom and left my older son in line (at the same Arby’s) to order turnovers for dessert. He walked up, placed the order and handed the money over as I was walking into the restroom. Turns out I was in the restroom for a little longer than I expected (maybe 5 minutes?) and when I came out my older son was standing at the counter surrounded by people. He was still waiting for the turnovers! I guess they figured he was just standing there for no reason because they asked me what we were waiting for when I walked up. My reply was something along the lines of “ask him, he ordered it”. GRRRR!

I’m an elementary school teacher, and about 7 years ago I took a field trip to the Bronx Zoo with my 1st grade class. We did the usual thing, broke the 28 kids into 4 groups and sent them off with parents and teachers aids. I kindly took the group of 7 impossible-to-control boys myself (I’m sorry, but in some cases, it’s a stereotype for a reason!) and kept them on a tight leash. When it was bathroom time we stopped by the largest bathroom and I sent all 7 of them into the men’s room together and sat down on a bench hoping they would take their dear sweet time in the new environment. One of the mothers came by with her group (all girls…though her son was in my group) and asked me where my kids were. I pointed to the men’s room (which had VERY QUICKLY emptied of all adult men when my marauding pack of boys arrived) and she seemed a bit shocked.

“You sent them in there alone?”

Hell yeah! Those kids could have taken down an elephant and a pack of hyenas if they set their minds to it.

@ Marianne Pitts, I got a call from the principal once to let me know that one of mine had picked up a condom on a field trip and given it to another kid. She goes, don’t worry, they probably just thought it was a balloon.

AAAAAAAAAAAACK! I wasn’t worried until she said THAT! I needed a professional brain scrubbing after that comment but at least I didn’t have to SEE it, you poor thing! 😀

My kids have been using bathrooms in restaurants on their own since they’ve been in Montessori school. If it’s a new restaurant and/or the bathroom is on a different floor I’ll accompany them to the bathroom door. For freeway service stations we usually all go together (and I have only girls). I’m a little nervous about store restrooms, because they are usually rather isolated and remote from customers, so I usually go to the door with them, or make the older one (11) accompany the younger (6). Our big step was letting them go to the bathroom alone while at campsites: we’ll all go check it out together, make sure we know the route from our tents etc, and then they go on their own. They have to tell us when they are going, especially in the night, and in the night I’ll accompany the younger one (or send the older one with her).

We had a hitch once when the younger one went to the bathroom at the swimming pool on a day when they were with dad – she was fine in the stall, but couldn’t reach the faucets or dryers herself. Dad was by the door, so she told him all this, and he had to go and get the older one out of the pool to come and help. The difference between public bathrooms and Montessori school is that at school everything is at kid height.

There are four kids in my family: girl, girl, girl, girl, boy. After all those girls, my Mom had to figure out how to negotiate the whole public restroom thing with my brother, especially since my Dad worked 2nd shift and rarely went out with us. Her solution was to take my brother into the women’s restroom with us wherever we went.

When he was about six, we were all at a shopping mall and he started doing the Potty Dance. Mom took him by the hand and headed to the women’s restroom, but he dug in his heels. “I’m too old to go in the girls’ room,” he said. She reluctantly let him go in the men’s room by himself while the rest of us stood outside the door and waited.

And waited. And waited. After about 10 minutes, Mom stopped a young man as he was going in. “My six-year-old son is in there. Could you check up on him for me?” The young man came out a few minutes later and assured us that, yes, my brother was still in there and seemed to be just fine. So we stood around and waited some more. My brother eventually wandered out without having to be retrieved by sales staff, which Mom was about to dispatch. When Mom asked him what he’d been doing in there, my six-year-old brother shrugged and said, “I was reading everything written on the walls. There’s some interesting stuff in there!”

True story.

My 4.5-year-old has insisted on using the men’s bathroom alone for about the last year. Unfortunately, the second or third time he did it, as I was standing outside, I heard him yelling, “I need help wiping! I need help wiping!” from inside the men’s bathroom. What’s a woman to do?

Now that he no longer needs help wiping, there has been no event, but he does like to go to the men’s room immediately whenever we happen to be in public. He likes to check out the facilities. It’s fascinating, apparently.

It made me nervous for the first six months, not because I feared lurking perverts, but because I feared he’d make a mess — or once again start shouting that he needed help wiping. Yet so far, no problem, and no one has criticized me for allowing him to go alone.

Just last night, I was at Walmart with my son, 5 year-old granddaughter and toddler grandson. Granddaughter needed to use the bathroom. I told son I would go in with her, but just stand by the door. Only two other people were in the room–a teenager on her cell, and an older lady. Granddaughter went right into the stall and shut the door. A minute later, the older lady left her stall next door to my granddaughter, walked right up to me and said “maybe you’d better check on her.” I smiled and said “she’s fine,” and the lady gave me the dirtiest look imaginable before going out the door! But granddaughter did her thing, washed her hands and had no problems. Next time, I’ll let her go by herself, and I hope the same lady isn’t there to get her knickers in a knot about it!

My older son starting using the men’s restroom when he was about 5. My younger one started at 4 but he usually went with his brother. The trick is to get them to stay out of the bathroom at home when I’m in there!

My girls are now 5 & 7 and have been using public restrooms on their own for a while now. My youngest is particularly small and short for her age, and occasionally she needs help reaching the sink, or soap, or paper towels. Typically her older sister or I am there to help her. Occasionally we aren’t, and she has learned to ask an adult to help her, if there’s one there.

My oldest tends to go in and come out with at least one other lady, having struck up a conversation while washing hands. This used to worry me some, that she seemingly had no fear of “strangers” but really, we’ve never found anyone to be upset that she was in there alone, and none have done anything bad to her. Usually, it’s a grandmotherly type who thinks she’s very cute and quite talkative for her age.

I think one of the biggest fears with letting kids use the public restroom without you is that they must leave your sight to do so. After having let my kids use the public restroom themselves quite a few times, I’m more apt to let them hold their own and go further in public places. As long as they know where to meet me, it’s ok.

These posts make me sad. When I was a kid (in the mid 80s) my mom always let us wander the grocery store from age 4 or so, I particularly loved to look at stationary and office supplies and even saved up allowance once to buy a label maker!

She told us that when we wanted to find her, to walk up and down the aisles and if we really couldn’t find her, to go to the head desk and ask them to page her. I can’t even remember ever saying that I needed to go to the bathroom and having her drop everything to do it.

She knew we were civilized, not going to break anything, and I was a very anxious kid, which maybe paradoxically helped her let go, because she knew I would never go far or do anything dangerous.

I remember one time looking for her all over the supermarket and not finding her and getting irrationally scared even though I knew she was in there somewhere, and just as I was going to the desk to have someone help me find her, she appeared. I’m sure someone out there would be able to comment on how horrible it is to leave your kid to get scared like that, but how else was I supposed to learn to cope?

Letting my child go to the public washroom by herself is a tale filled with horror!!!

for the people who don’t wash their hands anyway. My daughter was around the age of six when she asked if she could use a restaurant bathroom by herself, I could see the washroom from where we were sitting, and told her that I’d come and help her if she needed, but she felt confident she could do it herself. So- off she went.

Unfortunately, the woman who used the washroom at the same time as my daughter didn’t wash her hands before leaving the washroom, and being a hygiene-hound, my daughter pointed out across the restaurant, “THAT woman didn’t wash her hands after using the washroom!!! That’s GROSS!!!”

Dangerous, not in the least- but it sure was embarrassing!!!

I might be completely naive, but are public restrooms really a common hangout for pedophiles? Do they just wait and wait for that opportunity to be able to touch a kid’s penis for 2 seconds?

I was at Target with my five-year-old son Robbie and my infant son. We got lunch in the snack area and just as I had everything out and ready to eat and the baby situated, Robbie said, “I have to go!!!”

I didn’t want to pack up the food (or leave it) and I could see the restroom doors across the way so I told Robbie to go to the ladies’ room “just to be safe”. I hadn’t yet been letting him go by himself to the men’s room in such a public place. So he went to the ladies’ room. And I waited and waited and waited for him to come out. My nerves finally overcame me and I packed up all the food and put the baby back in the cart and headed over to the restrooms.

Just as I was about to go in, a woman came out smiling. She said, “Is that your son in there washing his hands? He just told me: My *mom* made me come in here!!!” and she imitated his eye-rolling and dying-of-embarrassment perfectly.

I decided at that point that he was probably ready to go by himself to the men’s room. He’s been fine doing that ever since.

Well, just for some more levity, yesterday my kids and I were in the art museum restroom. It isn’t one of the ones I can send my kids to alone, given its remote location and the child-unfriendly atmosphere of an art museum in the evenings. But they went into the stalls by themselves.

My daughter is usually pretty independent and quiet, but she felt the need last night to holler “Mommy, wipe my butt!” When I reminded her that the other patrons didn’t need to hear about her private business, she said “I just wanted to hear the echo in here.”

The funniest incident was in a Barnes and Noble, though. DS was 4. I sent him in the men’s bathroom alone and waited outside. I wasn’t there for 2 minutes when I heard the most heartbroken wail, beginning low and ending in a high, wavering dolphin pitch. A second later, by son bursts from the bathroom door with his pants around his ankles.

The toilets had automatic flush, and he’d always been a bit afraid of the noise of public restrooms, so it had scared him horrendously. It took him a god five minutes to get calm again. I got his pants up and tried VERY hard not to laugh at his terrified, tear-streaked face! Poor baby!

My three small daughters, or the most part, use a plastic training potty in the car. Nothing yuckier that trying to herd three screaming girls (echo) around a men’s room stall. “No, don’t touch that!–Get up off the floor!–Hurry UP!” Fuggetaboutit!

Now that I think about it, the reason I didn’t let my sons use the restroom on their own sooner was because both of them had to completely take off their shoes, socks and pants every time they had to poop. Pretty gross in some bathrooms. At some point they figured out how to use things without undressing and about then is when they got to use the bathroom.

To the parent who questioned and disapproved of boys in the women’s bathroom (I think they were 6 and 8 or so) and assumed it was because the parent was paranoid, well, just to chime in from the other side, my son has autism and “looks” totally normal and is indeed very high functioning, but has a major issue with bathrooms in general. Getting him to use a public one is nothing short of a miracle and getting him to use it alone is impossible. He becomes hysterical at the thought and has a major phobia about the sound of toilets flushing (don’t get me started on auto flushing urinals). So he still comes in with me, at age 8. I wish there was an alternative but right now there isn’t. I try to have him go at home, but it doesn’t always happen! So unless there is a family bathroom I have to bring him in with me into the women’s or else he won’t use the bathroom. I have heard all kinds of commentary from other adults about this but it’s just one of those things that right now we’re working on but can’t quite fix. And I do have him wait outside the bathroom when I’m going if possible, but sometimes he’s afraid to wait (in an anxiety ASD way), sometimes he’s willing. But just a reminder for everyone not to assume that parents are afraid–some of our kids are just a bit different! The day my son goes into a public bathroom alone I’m going to have a major celebration! For now, well, I have to do what I have to do.

Well, I started sending my now seven year old daughter to the bathroom alone when she was around 4.5. If I went with her, she can take FOREVER. She sees it as an opportunity for a captive audience. She will sing, tell jokes, etc, and it seriously can take her half an hour. Very annoying when we’re in the middle of a meal. Finally out of exasperation, I told her she had to go alone at familiar places. She’s in and out of there in a reasonable amount of time with no problem. There are times I will go in with her, but in general I have her go alone.

Kids are different though. My five year old has never been sent alone. She has an anxiety problem and has a lot of difficulty using the one at home alone. We’re working on it, but she’s not at a place where she can go alone, even if she is out with my husband.

With my own kids, until they were pretty old (9 and 11) I was a really paranoid parent. I’d been very close to several stranger abductions in my late teens, and it had a very dramatic effect on me. I got much more relaxed after moving to the midwest, and with my grandson I’m waaaaaay more mellow.

So, with my own son, who thankfully didn’t like haircuts, and we don’t mind long hair on boys, he went into the women’s with me until he was about 7 or maybe even 8. The stories of abduction from the rest stop, murder in the park restroom… yeah, I got sucked into all of them. Might have been different if one of the stranger abductions hadn’t been my own 4 year old brother, but…
Anyway, nobody ever questioned, because kid wasn’t obviously a boy until he was about 13.

Grandson on the other hand, also long-haired, still mistaken daily for a girl even after his first haircut, (he’s gorgeous, and has golden blond curls. Now people think he’s a girl with short hair. Kid can’t win…), has been going into the men’s on his own for most of a year. Costco was the first adventure. He wanted to go, I said to stand right under the no smoking sign if he got done first. The most amazed reaction? My own when he actually followed those directions. He’s not the best listener… no problem, no concerns, nothing. Piece o’ cake.

This week, we were in Barnes and Noble. I needed to use the restroom, he didn’t, and simply informed me that, “I’ll wait right here Gramma. I can look at this nice animal book.” And lo and behold, there he was. Nobody worried, right where I left him. Surprise surprise.

My daughter starting using her own stall at maybe 3.5 y, but I think the first time she went completely on her own to a public toilet, was this summer when we went camping – she was 4y5m. The outhouse was just around the corner from our campsite, we could not see it, but it was literally steps away. She asked to go by herself and although my first instinct was to go with her, I thought for a second and realised, why not? we are in a campsite, super safe and it is an outhouse she has been several times already and it will make her feel good to advance in her independence. My husband was a bit concerned the first time, but when she came back just a couple minutes later beaming, we knew that it was a good thing. After that she still announced when she was going and off she went.

Our youngest was very very smart today.

She had to go to the potty at (supermart) today and held it till we were at the cashier’s line. She was doing the potty dance so I pointed to where the bathrooms were. She darted off and we dealt with the groceries and stuff.

My husband began to grow concerned. I wasn’t that worried. So he went to the bathrooms and had our middle check and she came out freaked out. “(youngest) isn’t there!” Husband got even more concerned and started to search.

She was found, standing with the cashier supervisors, happily chatting away. She had gotten turned around and couldn’t remember which way we were and instead of freaking out, went and got help from a store employee. Husband saw her, signaled the store employee and collected our littlest.

I’m so proud of her.

my daughter is 3. about 4 months ago, one day we went to the library. our library has an entire floor for kids, with some play structure inside (we live in a very cold climate area). i was looking for a few books to check out for her. she disappeared. i was not in panic, searched the entire floor, before a librarian came to offer help. she was kind, told me not to worry, etc. anyway, she was in the bathroom. she has been there once with her dad before, so she knew where it was. when she needed to go, she couldn’t find me, so she simply went there and used the kid-size toilet. my girl.

I think I let my son start using the men’s restroom when he was old enough to realize he was in the women’s restroom. I think he was five? He’s a lingerer though: my five year old daughter and I can get all of our business done in the Ladies in less time than he does in the Mens, so I’ve learned to be patient and not worry.

Empty bathrooms are obvious. If I can tell the men’s room is empty, and the hall is quiet enough that I can hear into the room, I really don’t see the issue at all. For bathrooms that have other people in it I’m a bit more choosy, though I don’t bat an eye if he runs into the bathroom at the children’s museum or church..

I had an odd experience yesterday and wasn’t sure what to make of it. I wonder if this is more typical than I would think — maybe others have similar experiences.

Here it is.

I was doing some last minute holiday shopping at a suburban Target, in a safe area. I needed to use the restroom. I heard a couple of people enter while I was in my stall. When I came out of the stall and walked up to the sink, I was a little shocked, as an older boy (10-12 yrs old) was washing his hands. Um, did I accidentally use the men’s room?! Urinal check: nope, no urinals. There was an older female in the stall, which I assumed was his mother or care-taker. I felt like I was almost being rude because I was so baffled and intrigued, which made me l keep looking at him. Was something wrong with him? He seemed completely normal. I walked past a unisex/family restroom, so if he had some issues and needed extra assistance, wouldn’t that be where a mother would take an older boy to use the restroom? Then again, if he needed THAT much help, why was his mother in the stall while he was out of her sight? Maybe he stumbled into the wrong restroom. But, if that were the case, wouldn’t he flee with embarrassment when he saw me? I just thought it was weird and suspect that the boy wasn’t permitted to use the men’s room alone. I hesitate to make assumptions because I know people with autistic children. It’s not easy and sometimes impossible to know they are different just by looking at them. Perhaps the boy had some oddities and would have freaked out in a men’s room.

Then again, parents seem to be more and more afraid (of things like creepy men molesting boys in the men’s room) so it wouldn’t shock me if it was a case of helicopter parenting. Is it me or is this more typical than one might think?

i went to disney world this summer for the first time with my husband and 6 yr old daughter. she insisted on going into the bathroom alone and would demand that i sit on a bench nearby but not go in with her. got alot of “bad parent” looks that vacation | ukfacts.org

I am the mom to four boys and they have all been able to use the men’s public bathroom from the time they could tell that the sign on the door was different (around age 4).

I really don’t think that the majority of places where we use public bathrooms are dangerous… library, parks, restaurants, malls, gas stations, etc. I guess I would pause if there was a huge croud where my son might be intimidated.

Once, we were at our state fair and my sons were 4, 2, and newborn. My four year old had to go so I sent him into the mens bathroom and I had many strange looks but one grandma said “Good for you!”

Jennifer