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Please watch this 2-minute reverie on parenting, tweens and how many Hershey’s products two people can consume in one sitting, and then give me your reaction (because mine was visceral):
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The iydirrsebn
spot shows a girl preternaturally sad because even though her (pathetic, doofus) dad is at home with her, he is tied up with a Skype call from work.
I just can’t imagine a kid as self-sufficient as this pixie pining for daddy-time during the work day. And I resent the fact that she resents her dad being busy. Just because he works from home doesn’t mean he’s her companion, and just because his meeting sounds boring doesn’t mean it — and his input — are worthless.
But that’s just me. (Who works from home!)
And what’s with the little kid who jumps out at her? Not to go all English major (because I wasn’t one), but he seems to represent Something Deep.
The whole thing is just extremely, gratingly false, from the 1950s jar of coins (maybe she made money canning beets!) to the layout of the neighborhood, which at first seems to be only dreary houses and empty streets, but then seems rife with small businesses and kids playing outside.
I’m just curious to hear if anyone else’s teeth are on edge. (Are dads supposed to quit their jobs to go to the candy store with their kids????) Why is this thing irking me so much? Could it be the fact they end up making s’mores INSIDE? Who does that, unless told to do so by an advertising director using the tritest possible way to summon up ye old innocence of childhood? (And getting it WRONG!) Or maybe the gooeyness of the marshmallow is supposed to signify ooey gooey looooooooooove? Help me! – L
91 Comments
Hee. Yes, indoor smores are just wrong, unless there’s a hurricane or something outside, which there does not seem to be.
I work from home and I will occasionally send my kids out to get me candy. Does that count as good parenting?
Yeah, I don’t know why but this commercial irritates me, too.
Slightly off topic:
Since it’s Friday, my 11 and 9 yr old will walk home from school today (1.1 miles, crossing the freeway on a bridge, past a shady apartment complex with a reputation, and one major stoplight controlled intersection) and I’m going to give them money to get candy at the CVS on the way home. They have a calorie limit, so they have to look on the back of the package and calculate, and they have to share some with me. 🙂 I’m hoping they choose something chocolate…
Yay for free range!!
I didn’t even notice that stuff. I was busy watching her walking and taking public transport around town on her own. I’m surprised you didn’t comment on that.
I appreciate that no one tried to stop her from going out alone or spending her money on something ridiculous, but seriously, there are kids playing outside! And nobody is freaking out about it! Go play with them!
I did like the fact that the girl was self-sufficient and independent enough to go out on her own to run all her “errands” but I agree that the overall message of the commercial is mawkish and cloyingly sweet (like a S’more – yuck!). And the song just sends the whole thing over the top!
I love that she was able to leave the house alone, walk alone, ride a bus alone, had friends that she obviously played with outside, and had the gumption to show her dad that she loved him.
I agree with everyone!
Yes, it’s stupid that she’s pining for Dad when he’s working (past dark on a single call?) and her friends are playing, and it’s stupid that they don’t notice it’s a cardboard cut-out. But she’s also self-sufficient and appealing as a character.
My husband and I have been screaming at this commercial for weeks! Glad I’m not the only one annoyed. I’m happy they show her walking around, but really, this suggests something particularly bothersome. My Dad didn’t work from home, but occasionally had a conference call after business hours that he would take at home (different time zones, etc.). You know what that taught us? That Dad’s work is very important, he takes it seriously, and as good children, we should support him and stay quiet. We would be quiet then hear what the call was about and how it went after he was done. What this man is teaching his child is that work isn’t important, he doesn’t take it seriously, he doesn’t contribute during calls, and he’s willing to cheat and possibly risk his job by skipping out on the call. Parents like that are the ones who end up wondering why their kids think it’s okay to cheat or lie in school.
Writing as a dad who works from home, this was extremely offensive. There’s work time. There’s family time. Grown ups have jobs. Jobs pay for food, the house, the car, the computer, and – frankly – the family time.
Our kids understand that when dad (or mom) has to answer the work phone it’s time to be quiet, do some schoolwork, or find something to do. Frankly, it’s not just out of respect for work time, it’s out of respect, period. And it’s out of an understanding that we live in a larger, complex world that they’re not the center of. They understand that they are not entitled to a monopoly on our time. They are our number one priority – and they know that – but they are not our ONLY priority – and they understand that as well. (It’s amazing what kids can understand outside of the limitations of a self-righteous Hershey’s commercial.)
This “put everything aside because your kids want your attention” is detrimental to a culture where we’ve already gone way too far into the world of helicopter parenting, self-entitlement, children incapable of amusing themselves without adult intervention, and the endless infantilism of adulthood.
And s’mores are wildly overrated, both as a food and as a cultural phenomenon.
But the fact that she’s so capable as to be able to go get the cut-out made and shop for the goodies is what makes it so ridiculous. She’s capable of all kinds of initiative and creativity, but it’s sooooo heaaaartbreaaaaking that her Dad has to, actually, you know, do his job, that she has to find a disarmingly charming way around it. The combination of competent and needy is what’s irritating, it doesn’t make it better. And the Dad is a total weakling — the response is a sit-down about how he loves to spend fun time with her but there are times for that, and times for responsibility. (I realize that doesn’t belong in the commercial, but giving the response he did of just going along with it was, as Lenore said, pathetic. It’s a great response if life is a Hallmark card, not so great if you actually want to raise your kid.)
Go buy the s’mores, and when the work day is over, Dad can go out back with you and do it right. THAT would be an example of a really smart, emotionally intelligent way to deal with the whole thing.
I think the kid jumping out doesn’t have deep meaning — it was just suppose to give texture to the situation. Kis walks through the neighborhood, encounters annoying neighbor kid being his usual annoying self.
Spot on, AB, except for the last sentence. 😉
S’mores are good, but they’re the kind of thing that is good because they’re a rare treat. Speaking of cultural phenomena, the loss of the concept of “treat” is a huge one, and is not wholly unrelated to the context of this commercial.
But that’s just a throwaway point — I really mean that your comment was most excellent.
AB -I totally agree on all counts. I have never understood the appeal of a S’mores – way too sweet without much flavour, even when they’re made over a camp fire. I do love a nice camp fire, though.
Welllll … Lenore you are always saying kids should be free to ride the bus by themselves! And maybe even shop by themselves with their own money! And come up with ideas for projects, take photography, and hire someone to complete their creation?
I know, I know, I get it … what I despise is tear-jerker marketing in general … a truly sad or compassion-evoking video that goes viral. People sometimes don’t even note the product or sponsor! Haven’t we all watched some of those really sad and touching ones for Thai banks and such, where the woman’s father is saved by the doctor who was a beggar her father helped long ago? And so on?
Indoor S’mores must be a Seattle or Vancouver (street hockey?) thing. Because of the rain all the time. I guess my reaction was milder, but I am glad to read your views on it, which made me think.
I liked her brushing off the kid jumping out at her. In a different sappy commercial, she would have gone straight to the nearest adult to report bullying.
S’mores are for campfires. Hershey bars are for anywhere, anytime. Mmm.
Ha, I had a completely different reaction. I work from home and have sometimes had to tell my kids, “A meeting just came up, you’ll have to wait…” for something we’d planned to do at a certain time.
So I thought that’s what happened here! He got pulled into a meeting he probably didn’t really need to be at – “Glad you could join us.” He’s not expected to contribute (I hope, I always worry…) and neither he nor his kid are happy at the change in plan forced upon him unexpectedly. Plus, if it’s evening, it may mean he works remotely (like I do) and it well could be he’s in a different time zone and this should have been the end of his day, but he works east coast and company is west coast…or it was a scheduled day off and he got called into this meeting ANYWAY. As some companies rudely do.
I guess it’s all in the perspective. I loved her ingenuity and ability to manage all this herself so she could still have the time with her dad that she was supposed to have. I didn’t take it as parents should cater to their kids 100% of the time.
Perhaps I’m just overly-conditioned by the advertising-industrial complex, but no, I don’t see the complaint with this.
We see a smart, independent child, faced with a problem, who then industriously sets out to solve that problem, and succeeds. Message, our kids are capable. Also, Hershey’s products are good. I’ve seen far clumsier advertising.
It shows a kid with freedom moving around in her neighborhood freely. Tween angst and all. Kinda like your book talks about.
I printed a couple maps from google earth to show my 10yr old daughter how far (and with how much traffic,bars,shopping strips,etc..) , my little sister and I used to walk to get home from elementary school everyday . She was floored. I’m new to free range parenting; I was tired of helicopter parenting. We live in the country now whereas I lived in the city growing up but, there is plenty of room for gaining independence and confidence here too.
“Writing as a dad who works from home, this was extremely offensive. There’s work time. There’s family time. Grown ups have jobs. Jobs pay for food, the house, the car, the computer, and — frankly — the family time.
Our kids understand that when dad (or mom) has to answer the work phone it’s time to be quiet, do some schoolwork, or find something to do. Frankly, it’s not just out of respect for work time, it’s out of respect, period.”
I don’t work at home, but I was a single parent who was on call 24/7, meaning that on several occasions my young daughter got bundled up and taken to work, and I took many a triage phone call wherein I listened to the report of the problem and did remote troubleshooting.
If my daughter interrupted me while I was on one of those calls, it was because she NEEDED to. My daughter possesses judgment, and is capable of determining whether or not something requires my attention, and if it doesn’t, she’d solve it on her own. If my daughter was trying to get my attention, it was because something needed my attention at that moment. Your attitude, in contrast, suggests a rather profound lack of respect for your children and and their judgment. You know your kids better than I do, so you know whether or not this is appropriate, but your generalizing it to everyone else’s kids is definitely not.
AB, you are completely correct, James not so much. How the hell is teaching your kids to respect your need to answer a phone call from work equal exhibiting “a profound lack of respect for your children and their judgement”? By the way, this is a rhetorical question – no need to answer it, James.
I like how Lenore concludes based on nothing that this is a work day and dad works from home and everyone just accepts that as true. Considering everyone is out and about – kids out of school, adults not working – it is far more likely that this is not normal business hours and that daughter is trying to get dad’s attention during “family time.”
My extremely independent child still wants to spend time with me. Sometimes she will choose that over playing with her friends. She does get annoyed if I am working too much during “family time.” I don’t consider that a character flaw. I consider that us having a good parent/child relationship.
I didn’t hate this commercial (kind of liked the plucky kid and her town) yet as a work-at-home parent, this sort of behavior would never fly.
It’s called a CLOSED DOOR. My kids, if they had an urgent issue and need to interrupt, would write notes and sent them under the door…none of this staring and guilt. Now that they are older, they send a text…because they would be asking permission to go out and play in that street hockey game or somehow occupy themselves while I worked. It’s a basic level of respect that somehow is turned into parental guilt (for working?!) and tied to Hershey products.
And there’s no way that small town print shop could get a laser cut cardboard cutout (an item they would have to order out for) in a few hours for the change in a jar (and most kids don’t have loose change but gift cards to spend). She spent all of her money on that and some junk food and this is supposed to make us feel good?
Well yes, at the age the girl was, she should be mature enough to realize that dad has to work for a living in order to support her and the rest of the family. With that fact in mind, it’s absolutely silly for dad to feel guilty about it which he appeared to. BUT, on the other hand, there were kids outside playing without an adult present and the girl did go to the store and back BY HERSELF.
“How the hell is teaching your kids to respect your need to answer a phone call from work equal exhibiting “a profound lack of respect for your children and their judgement”? By the way, this is a rhetorical question — no need to answer it, James.”
And yet I will answer it, to correct your obvious misunderstanding of the point.
Having taught your child to respect your need to answer a phone call from work, why do you assume that that child remains incapable of discerning between “I need to respect dad’s need to devote his attention to this phone call from work, and therefore I will solve this problem on my own” and “I need to respect dad’s need to devote his attention to this phone call from work, but this situation needs his immediate attention, and therefore, I need to interrupt his phone call”?
I don’t make that assumption. Rather, my assumption is that, if my child is interrupting my phone call, it is because in her judgment, she needs to bring something to my attention despite my being occupied with a call from work. Because I value my daughter’s judgment, I believe that something she’s trying to bring to my attention is, in fact, something that needs my attention now, because she wouldn’t be interrupting me if it didn’t.
AB, on the other hand, does not value his child(ren)’s judgment sufficiently to rely on it. He may well be correct to do so with regard to his kid(s), I don’t know them, and perhaps their judgment is so poor as to be casually disregarded. Since you started off by saying “AB, you are completely correct”, I assume you don’t value your children’s judgment, either, and again, I don’t know them, so you may be correct to do so, as well.
But his (and apparently, your) assumption that ALL children’s judgment may be disregarded in like manner is incorrect, and grievously so.
Until today I thought that was a boy….
Michael, I did too. I never saw the commercial before it was posted here, but when I watched it I thought it was a boy until I read Lenore’s commentary.
James, please, nothing AB said warrants the suggestion that he would intimidate his kids out of calling upon him in an emergency. He was talking about a general rule for behavior, perhaps applied specifically to something like “I want to eat s’mores with you.”
“I like how Lenore concludes based on nothing that this is a work day and dad works from home and everyone just accepts that as true.”
Well, there’s evidence to support both. There’s clearly a majority of workers present in the office, which suggests that it is a work day for this employer at least. If it’s not a work day, then the other workers would not be in the office, and the display on the screen would be a bunch of little boxes with one worker apiece in them, as they all called in from home rather than what we see, which is one big box with all the other workers in it. Also, all the local businesses that the girl visits are open for business. This isn’t strong evidence… many businesses, particularly retail, are open long hours, but it does support a conclusion that this is a “work day” as opposed to a holiday of the sort that businesses close for. Similarly, she gets on a bus. These tend to have limited operations on days that aren’t “work days”.
As for working from home, he’s clearly at home, and he’s clearly working.
I didn’t assume any premise that it was a “work day” and that Dad (always) worked from home.
I concluded from the obvious details that the Dad was, in that moment, working from home.
And all the same applies to that situation if it was after working hours and he did not normally work from home, as if he worked from home all day, every day. If had work to do, then she needed to respect that that came before her desire to do some fun activity with him, if he had decided it needed to.
I too have loathed this commercial……. all but the song. Very nice cover of “Higher Love” – incidentally, a duet with Lilly Winwood and dad Steve Winwood…. (frankly, I like this cover a lot better than the 80s original. Sorry Steve Winwood….)
Who wants to bet that Mr. Winwood wasn’t home at Lilly’s beck-and-call all the time?
Donna, it’s not a character flaw that the child wants to spend time with the Dad rather than have him work. That’s a very natural and appropriate kind of affection combined with some immaturity.
The problem is that the kid getting the Dad to cheat on his work responsibilities for playtime is portrayed as clever, heroic, and the obvious “solution” to the “problem” that the Dad has to work. And the Dad is either immature or guilt-manipulated enough to go along with it.
I was a participant at an event in 1999(For International Year of the Older Person)
I was an actor in an improvised play.
I was a homeowner. Three little girls came to my door with some problem(I forget the details)
(I invited them in.)
I then told them:
-From now on, when you approach a stranger(for whatever reason you MUST
-Admit to the parent that you did the approaching.
Detail how the stranger acted.-towards you
He/she is either behaving in a proper or civil manner-or is NOT.
It is important that you be accurate and complete-in your facts.
“James, please, nothing AB said warrants the suggestion that he would intimidate his kids out of calling upon him in an emergency.”
Look again at the passage I quoted. He demands respect, but makes no mention of giving it.
“He was talking about a general rule for behavior, perhaps applied specifically to something like “I want to eat s’mores with you.”
That’s how you read it, anyway, but it’s not in the text. In any case, you have no idea why the girl wanted to interrupt her father’s business call… We know only that later that night they both enjoyed a treat composed largely of Hershey’s products.
—
Since the current discussion is non-productive, here’s something different. I’m going to tell a story that fits everything shown in the commercial, but puts an entirely different spin on what you saw.
While dad was on his business call, grandma called from the hospital. Mom’s condition worsened unexpectedly and she has passed away. She goes to tell dad the bad news, but he’s too engrossed in the business deal to see the nonverbal communication. So daughter puts on a brave face… she’s the woman of the house now, and has new responsibilities. Mom’s favorite treat was S’mores, so she sets out to the store to buy ingredients and, additionally, to break her dad free of his business call. Returning home, dad notices she’s been gone, notices what she’s brought home, and finally pays enough attention to her to see the sadness that’s in her eyes.
As the scene closes, dad and daughter are sharing mom’s favorite treat in memory of her.
That’s why mom’s not in the story.
That’s why this little girl is so focused on buying goodies, and not interested in playing with her friends.
That’s why dad looks so guilty near the end.
That’s why they’re eating their S’mores indoors around the dining room table
That’s why they’re eating S’mores instead of a good, healthy meal.
At least she acts independently and doesn’t need to be constantly supervised while she puts her solution in place!
I don’t think anybody would have a problem with a Dad saying, “Let’s have s’mores, I can finish work later.” It’s the idea that he has to be “rescued” from doing his obviously unimportant job by his child (who would otherwise be crushed) coming up with an elaborate ruse to deceive his co-workers. Adults work — they don’t need to be “rescued” from it, and the idea that adult work could be replaced by a cardboard cutout is not a message that should be promoted.
“That’s how you read it, anyway, but it’s not in the text. In any case, you have no idea why the girl wanted to interrupt her father’s business call… We know only that later that night they both enjoyed a treat composed largely of Hershey’s products.”
Well then it could really not have been anything very important, if the depicted solution was to find a way to do something *totally unrelated to* whatever her original request was. She wasn’t bleeding as she limped around to the print shop and the store, and the commercial did not end with him helping her with a difficult homework problem. And if the original request was related, then it was about eating s’mores or otherwise having “fun time,” and not immediately important enough to interrupt your father earning his and your living.
Pretending the whole point of the ad wasn’t that the kid wanted to play with her Dad in some purely recreational way and found a way to do that may be within the possible logical range of what was depicted, but it’s interpreting the commercial like a robot, not a like a thinking person.
If you were not determined to read AB in a hostile fashion, you would not assume that his failure to mention giving respect means that he gives no respect.
Where’s the barf button?
Also this commercial promotes sugar, and as everyone should know sugar is one of the worst things you can eat, so I find it highly offensive. 😉
Your alternate story is ridiculous because unless the Dad was The Great Santini, which he obviously was not, the daughter would have ignored the gently raised finger and rushed in to tell him that mom had to leave because Grandma has died. Nothing in the atmosphere or the behavior of the Dad, especially the slightly regretful look he gives when the daughter first walks away, indicates that he would have shouted his daughter down in a serious situation.
Mom has died, sorry for the confusion. But seriously? You think this scenario lends itself to refusing to be interrupted to be told his wife has died?
It could have been a boy, I guess… a boy named “Scarlett” (1:08). There have been weirder things.
Yes, indoor s’mores are definitely Wrong, but I think maybe they’re going for a Cats in the Cradle (Harry Chapin) heartstring-tugging thing, and Hershey’s saved the day! That’s what marketing is all about…..
I LOVE THIS COMMERCIAL!!!
I normally agree with you, Lenore. But this one? I totally DISAGREE!
I believe this commercial shows a resourceful kid, innovative, independent, determined. She RECOGNIZES Dad has to do his job – but comes up with a plan, executes on it, and, to his credit (unless he gets canned from his job), her DAD realizes that he slip out of this webcam conference and share time with his daughter. I LOVE IT!
Reverse it: Dad goes to her room, she is in an online classroom (assume she is in high school, college or, if younger, is in a very progressive school), and Dad does the cardboard picture of her to sit in her place while he scoots out to have time together. Would it be applauded? If it was a Mom instead of a Dad?
The focus is on them being together. For that, I love it. Those who do not, perhaps, might be those who have their children around all the time and, therefore, don’t appreciate the scarcity of parent-child time. Not blaming or criticizing, just offering an explanation for such wildly different reactions.
Pentamom –
Yes, adults have to work. Adults choose to work all their waking hours. A kid who expected her parents to drop work every time she wanted to play would be immature. A kid who would like for her parents to occasionally stop working long enough to have a conversation is not. There is no indication whatsoever that this kid is in the first group rather than the second. In fact, the impression I get is that dad is ALWAYS working, not that dad is just working at this moment.
He sounds like a dolt on his work call. What bothered most is that his desk in his home office faced away from that awesome, spectacular view! I would kill for that home office greenery but can at least overlook the yard and (hopefully) kids playing in it.
I get the message- kids need our attention. But masterminding a Ferris Bueller-like fake on Dad’s company to eat s’mores indoors just doesn’t seem like a great message for attention-starved androgynous tweens.
My take was that it was his weekend (he’s divorced) to have his daughter (who is adorable and friendly) and he works for a control freak who schedules conference calls late on Fridays. Maybe there’s no food in the house. She takes matters in her own hands. Her dad IS working but he has no backbone and will never get promoted. But he has an awesome office view and he turns away from it to work at his desk.
I work from home too, and often participate in conference calls. Usually my focus and input is required.
My kids have known since a young age to be quiet during these calls, though they still forget from time to time.
I do feel guilty when I have to shush or shoo them, though I don’t think it’s a reasonable guilt. Just yesterday, my 10 year old was upset because she couldn’t find her PE shoes and I couldn’t help her look, and it was time for her to walk to the bus stop. But she’s a problem solver and figured out to find a different pair to wear.
Maybe that’s why it irks you (and me). Because there’s already some misplaced guilt there that it’s aggravating. I agree with the others that otherwise, Scarlet’s independence is refreshing.
I think the take home message here is that, if you provide your child with a life size cutout of the parent, and they carry it wherever they go, nosy neighbors and folks on the street will think they are actually WITH a parent and not call the police or CPS. Boom! Problem solved! (Hee hee!)
Commenters are speculating on the ‘backstory’ of fictional characters created by an ad agency to sell candy. Not just speculating; arguing! C’mon, people. It’s as if we were all debating whether it makes sense that a live actor can portray Garfield’s owner when Garfield is an animated drawing, or whether a cat really can cha-cha.
I don’t watch tv, so my references to commercials are probably dated.
For those of you who wonder why that dad wants to get out of his conference call:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYu_bGbZiiQ
I have been in many, many calls like this. Haven’t you?
@James Pollock
” I’m going to tell a story that fits everything shown in the commercial, but puts an entirely different spin on what you saw.”
Lots of people write fan fiction for TV shows.
But fan fiction for an ad?
I think it’s great. Look how free range she is, going to the store, creating something, and paying for it herself. Nobody batted an eye. I love it.
Hershey’s should have followed “Don Draper’s” advice!
I too loathe the commercial. Not so much because the resourceful girl pine’s for her Daddy’s attention — I pined for attention from many adults — not, however, to whip up some extra elaborate dessert when I could be out playing with other kids. I learned to respect boundaries — including when a parent, grandparent was necessarily preoccupied with work or sleep. I learned integrity, responsibility; not ruses, guilt tripping. This was discussed, too, with pets — That behavior rewarded was bound to recur. So better not succumb to crashing through boundaries or manipulation.
The lesson here? A parent should reward his child for trampling over a boundary regarding his work? For cooking up a scheme to deceive his colleagues? Rather than playing with other kids? That an extra shared Hershey’s indulgence should trump responsibility, integrity toward work, colleagues?
Hershey’s should have followed “Don Draper’s” advice!
I too loathe the commercial. Not so much because the resourceful girl pines for her Daddy’s attention — I pined for attention from many adults — not, however, to whip up some extra elaborate dessert when I could be out playing with other kids. I learned to respect boundaries — including when a parent, grandparent was necessarily preoccupied with work or sleep. I learned integrity, responsibility; not ruses, guilt tripping. This was discussed, too, with pets — That behavior rewarded was bound to recur. So better not succumb to crashing through boundaries or manipulation.
The lesson here? A parent should reward his child for trampling over a boundary regarding his work? For cooking up a scheme to deceive his colleagues? Rather than playing with other kids? That an extra shared Hershey’s indulgence should trump responsibility, integrity toward work, colleagues?
Okay, we’ve seen this commercial multiple times but not this long of a version. Never occurred to me the child was a girl — I thought it was a boy — and I am observant, work with kids, etc. Regardless, why didn’t she take the bike that’s in the garage? Frankly, I love s’mores — Camp Director by profession and vocation. Heard you speak several years ago at TriState Camp Conference in AC, NJ (thank you, by the way). Anyway, s’mores inside, outside, by the fire, by the stove, by the microwave — just as long as you have the best ingredients. I would not have bothered with the Hershey’s Syrup but purchased Reeses Peanut Butter Cups for my second s’more of the night. I have to admit I am a bit of a s’more snob so I do require the Nabisco HoneyMaid Graham Crackers and Hershey bars — fake stuff just does not make it in my book. That being said I would love to have a friend (child or adult) make a cardboard stand-in for my Skype and Blab session…and I would be glad to sneak off and make s’mores with them :).
“Lots of people write fan fiction for TV shows.
But fan fiction for an ad?”
Lots of people READ fan fiction for TV shows…
As Obi-Wan would (and did) say:
“Who’s the bigger fool, the fool or the fool who follows him?”
“Okay, we’ve seen this commercial multiple times but not this long of a version. Never occurred to me the child was a girl — I thought it was a boy — and I am observant, work with kids, etc. Regardless, why didn’t she take the bike that’s in the garage?”
Well, there’s the part where where she is and where she wants to be are apparently separated by a bus ride, and then there’s carrying a six-foot cardboard cutout, which can be done on a bike but probably shouldn’t be.
Donna, the indication that she’s immature is that she decided that her father’s decision to continue working at that particular moment was something she needed to fix, because his decision must have been either wrong or the result of inability to solve the “problem” of having to work.
I totally agree that a child desiring her father to stop working to play with her on a given occasion is fine. It’s the idea that she’s to be celebrated for subverting rather than respecting his decision, because obviously, his not working would have been the *correct* choice, had he only known how to deceive his colleagues sufficiently well.
I’m not saying it would have been the right or wrong choice had he taken time out from work at that point, I’m saying the commercial portrays it as though the *only* correct option was the one exercised — he needed to stop working by any means necessary, including deceit of his colleagues and subversion of his decision by the child.
This is just a commercial. That said, using such a heartstring-tugging soundtrack suggests that Hershey’s wants its audience to take it seriously.
It’s a better commercial if it would’ve been presented ironically, IMO. Then again, I can think of several brands of chocolate that are much better quality than Hershey’s. (IMO)
Oh, well! Next topic…
Mark, exactly.
The portrayal of her going out on her own on a little expedition to solve a perceived problem was good, but it doesn’t redeem the fact that the expedition itself was ill-conceived and the father’s response of agreeing to deceive his colleagues was inappropriate.
If this was just a normal workday, I’d agree with Lenore, but I think LauraL makes a good point. It is clearly late in the afternoon when the commercial starts and it’s dark by the time the girl gets back. I don’t think we can just assume this is his normal work schedule, especially since the girl seems to act like he’s being a workaholic. Our companies don’t own us and they have no right to expect us to be on call 24/7. There’s a time to say, “sorry, guys, it’s getting late, I’m tired, I’m not being productive here and I have things I need to do. Let’s sleep on this and dig in in the morning.”
Cat’s in the Cradle and the Silver Spoon, Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon….
I think the anger is coming from those of us who work from home more than anyone else. It comes from a place of ignorance from other parents who say that our focus should be 100% on our kids 100% of the time. If you’re working, you focus is not on your kids, and that’s “not fair” to them. Never mind that we have to pay for that house and for that child, “what can you be doing that’s so important that you can’t take the time to be with your child?!” It’s saying that anyone who has work that has to be done at home is a bad parent, because “look how sad she is that dad isn’t spending time with her!”
When he loses his job and they’re living out of their car he’ll have a ton of time to spend with her.
@pentamom “Donna, the indication that she’s immature is that she decided that her father’s decision to continue working at that particular moment was something she needed to fix, because his decision must have been either wrong or the result of inability to solve the “problem” of having to work.”
Maturity is not agreeing with dad every single time. Parents are as often wrong as all other people. Many people spend way more time in work related activities then is necessary or event effective (see crunch and so called death marches for most extreme examples). Ego, false self importance, fear, virtue signaling, guilt and plenty of other irrational things keep people behind laptop way after it is not effective anymore.
Like other posters, I’m going to interpret this as a situation where the parents are divorced, it’s the father’s time to be with his daughter (maybe he just has visitation; not joint custody), and he’s working late. That would explain why it’s late afternoon when the commercial starts, and dark by the time the daughter returns home with the cardboard cutout and the ingredients for s’mores, and why the mother isn’t shown. This girl also appears to be an only child, because there are no siblings around in the commercial, so maybe “family time” means more to her than it might to most kids, because her family is smaller, and she only sees her parents one at a time. As for playing with the other kids, family time and friend time are two different things–for all we know, she’s been with her friends all week, between school, extra-curricular activities, and visiting friends at their houses, and now, she wants to be with her dad. That would explain the “neediness” part of the equation, even though the girl appears to be around middle-school age, and reasonably self-sufficient. She doesn’t need her dad to fulfill her basic needs; she just wants to spend some time with him, because maybe she hasn’t seen him in a week or two, and maybe those other visits were like this one, if they weren’t cancelled altogether because of work.
About the fact that a parent having to work isn’t a “problem,” and the girl had no business trying to solve this “problem,” and she was trampling a boundary, maybe that’s true. However, sometimes kids take initiative, take matters into their own hands, and try to solve their own problems (because, lack of dad time was clearly a problem for this girl), and get it wrong. You can’t have it both ways, and say that you want children to develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills, but then blast them when they make a mistake. I’ll always remember taking sex ed when I was in grade six, and one of the questions on the “introductory questionnaire” (not really a test for us, but more of a test for the teacher to see what we knew, and what he needed to teach us), was “What is a nocturnal emission?” A friend of mine answered, “When you wet the bed.” She’d “sounded out” the term, and figured that “nocturnal” means “at night,” and “emission” means “something coming out,” so she came to a perfectly logical conclusion, that happened to be incorrect. I remember our teacher sharing her answer with the class (without sharing her name), going through her thought process (because he was an experienced teacher, so he knew what she was probably thinking), and saying, “I love it when students really think about the answer, use the information available to them, and get it wrong.” That was about 20 years ago, but I still remember it, because it taught me, my friend, and our whole class, that we shouldn’t be afraid to try, for fear of making mistakes. That’s what I see here–the girl tried, and made a mistake. Maybe, if this was just a normal workday, the dad should have sat his daughter down and explained that he liked spending time with her, but also needed to work, but if it was a late evening cutting into their scarce time together, then yeah, maybe he was right to end the Skype call and make s’mores with his daughter. Of course, even then, honesty would have been a better solution than a cardboard cutout, but I’ll take that as a failed attempt at humour–the Hershey’s ad executives tried something, and got it wrong. Who knows? Maybe one of them is one of my long-lost classmates from sex ed in grade six.
Oh, and one more thing–I don’t understand why so many people thought this girl was a boy. She was wearing leggings and a skirt with her loose sweater, and she had pink boots, obviously feminine decorations in her bedroom, and a pink bicycle as well. Not all girls have long hair. Maybe she had it cut into a pixie for gymnastics or another sport, or maybe she’d cut off her hair and given it to Locks of Love, or maybe that jerky kid Freddy put gum in her hair or something. Either way, a pixie cut on a girl isn’t that unusual, and it doesn’t automatically make her look like a boy.
I have seen this commercial several times, but it has always been edited down. It usually just shows her wanting attention, getting to the shop, then replacing her Dad with the cutout. I have never seen the kids playing, talking to neighbors, etc.
When I first saw it, I thought it was going to be a depressing commercial with the girl eating a snack with the cutout!
Hmm.
Well, I liked the part that she was self-sufficient enough to let dad work and just go out and do stuff by herself (but why the annoying music as if someone’s gonna die?), but I did think this was a really strange investment, unless her school bus driver won’t let her off at her stop if there’s no parent present, in which case this thing would be superhandy.
I did worry for the dad’s job, because sooner or later they’re going to ask him something, I imagine. (And hello? Responsibility?)
For obvious reasons I missed all the references to a superduper over-the-top stereotypical American childhood (and what was that about a little girl jumping out??), and my thought overall was that that kid could use a sibling. Or at least go play with that other kid she was ‘too busy’ for in the beginning.
Well at least it wasn’t this one 😉 (Cats in The Cradle)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UgG30PMDpg
Then it would have to be nuked from orbit, just to be sure. ;-p
On the serious side though, I’m not seeing the outrage here. I just recently found out that most kids spend maybe 12 minutes max daily having any meaningful interaction with their parents. All dad had to do was monitor the call just in case he was needed.
“I’m not saying it would have been the right or wrong choice had he taken time out from work at that point, I’m saying the commercial portrays it as though the *only* correct option was the one exercised — he needed to stop working by any means necessary, including deceit of his colleagues and subversion of his decision by the child.”
If he needed to stop working by any means necessary, it would have been much simpler to just close the laptop, and easier still to just stop working, get up, and walk away.
Heck, maybe, in the part they didn’t show, he says “hey, guys, I don’t think I have anything more to contribute to this meeting. Anyone have an objection to me dropping out?” followed by putting the cardboard cutout in the home office rather than hanging up.
On the other hand, maybe the daughter said “Listen dad, you should quit this soul-sucking job you clearly hate, and go get a better one that won’t drain the life out of you.” and he agreed.
It all depends on what details you choose (or maybe don’t intentionally choose) to read into the little story you see.
Sorry, James, I’m not really won over by the thought that the Dad should have been taking career advice from a ten-year-old whose definition of a good job is “one that lets Dad play with me more,” but whatever.
Andy, I agree that maturity is not agreeing with Dad every single time.
However, when you’re ten, maturity is accepting the fact that Dad gets to decide.
I don’t know. I didn’t think it was so bad. And she even went to the store by herself! 🙂
The add was sickly sweet, exactly like the product they’re advertising. Sure, I could pick it apart for the same reasons that you have but really, in the scheme of things, it’s not even close to problematic relative to most of the dross fed to us in advertising every day. And at least the kid has taken some initiative, regardless of what one thinks of the intention behind it – that’s what free range is all about, having kids make their own mistakes, or not.
“Sorry, James, I’m not really won over by the thought that the Dad should have been taking career advice from a ten-year-old whose definition of a good job is “one that lets Dad play with me more,” but whatever.”
If she’s right, she’s right. Apparently, we’re back to not respecting her for being a child.
And I’m not clear you you read “a good job is ‘one that lets Dad play with me more'” from “a better one that won’t drain the life out of you.”, unless you were intentionally trying to demonstrate the point that it really does alll depend on what details you choose (or maybe don’t intentionally choose) to read into the little story you see.
I liked it. The story depicts a real problem: kids want and need more attention, especially girls from their dads. Thanks to the mass hysteria over child sex abuse, some men today are reluctant to show “too much” interest in kids. This story shows one dad who has some balls.
@pentamom “However, when you’re ten, maturity is accepting the fact that Dad gets to decide.”
No, that is being submissive or mindlessly obeisant. Maturity is making the right situation dependent call whether to accept Dads decision most of the time and taking roughly socially acceptable action about it.
Which we have no idea about, because commercial does not give out enough details. We do not know whether father deals with sudden super important emergency or whether father is systematically yet again unable to unglue himself. We do not know whether this is standard work day or whether this was supposed to be her not so frequent time with dad she was looking forward to.
What do you expect from a company that makes vomit flavoured chocolate. I really can’t understand how americans can eat that.
I thought I had already seen this commercial until your post. But apparently, we only have the “short-edit” version where I am. That one never bothered me in the first place, but now I love it! The reason – she knows and talks with the adults she encounters, and they talk to her – like it used to be.
I definitely interpreted it as the dad’s work running over from “home office time” into planned family time, and a very resourceful kid solving the problem.
Pentamom – No, her father working at that moment was a state that she WANTED to change. She created and presented her father with a suggestion for changing a situation that she didn’t like. HE, and he alone, decided to accept her suggestion. He could have told her to go away and continued with his call himself. He clearly believed that having smores with his daughter was more important than being physically present in that conference call.
My daughter comes to my office after school 2 days a week so that I can take her to track practice without driving home to get her. She does her homework while I work. One day she asked me to walk with her to the store to get a snack. It was clearly a desire to spend time with me as she can walk to store herself. While not as elaborate of a plan, she did essentially the same thing as this girl – requested me stop working for the moment to spend time with her. And her request was during the traditional work day. The awful beastly child.
My child was not immature for asking for something that she wanted. She would have been immature if I had said no because I was too busy and she pitched a fit, but simply proposing the plan was not immature. I went, not out of guilt or because I am easily manipulated by my child or because my child is spoiled, but because I genuinely wanted to go and had nothing to do that couldn’t wait. She has asked several times since. Sometimes I tell her no because I am trying to get something done on a deadline and sometimes I say yes.
Some might feel it’s a bit syrupy I suppose?
Seriously, I think it’s the idea that this young lady, so apparently independent and capable with what initially seems to be a maturity that belies her age, is rendered moot as the film progresses. The results of her endeavours demonstrate that her motivation was down to a selfish belief that only she is entitled to occupy her father’s time. Perhaps.
Alternatively, maybe it’s the narrative (used in so many adverts) that infers life is dull and tedious, unless and until you eat their food, drink their drinks or use their sugary products of whatever kind.
Just a couple of thoughts.
It doesn’t creep me out, I just think it is a dumb, lame commercial. The media, in all its manifestations, has been getting kids wrong, well, forever it seems, but with very particular inflections which reflect each era.
The sentimentalization of childhood is another aspect of a much broader, and more profound, cultural distortion which really has nothing to do with innate childhood characteristics.
Our culture is deeply false and unnerving, in other words. If that falsity only extended to the world of advertising, I wouldn’t be so unnerved. Sadly, it infects every aspect of our society, including government policy.
All of that from a dumb commercial? Yes, the signals come fast and furious.
@David “It doesn’t creep me out, I just think it is a dumb, lame commercial. The media, in all its manifestations, has been getting kids wrong, well, forever it seems, but with very particular inflections which reflect each era.”
It might be because media people don’t have much work/life balance. So, they do not have much experience with real life kids. Moreover, kids are mostly used as a way to emotionally manipulate adults watching media. They are not fully designed characters with personalities or realistic psychology, just tools to cause emotional impact.
I dislike kids in movies and ads for that reason. They are faked too much.
Hi Lenore ~
I saw this commercial several times on TV, though not the long version, and it bugged me because yes, the parent was essentially being scolded for…wait for it…taking meetings, which were stigmatized for being tedious. (To me, working remotely as this father seems to be doing can actually be a blessing that allows you to take some of your travel and/or prep time and give it back to your family or even, God forbid, yourself.) What this commercial said to me was that even when you’re clearly doing what you must to support your family, you also have the obligation to feel guilty about it, and clearly demonstrate chagrin to your family, while defrauding your employer for good measure. 🙂 And I never liked s’mores. There, I said it.
How did they make the switch, I wonder?
“How did they make the switch, I wonder?”
Obviously, dad isn’t really important to the meeting by the time they get around to the switch (I think that earlier, he’s in a different meeting, because that one looks like a one-on-one, while later it looks like he’s the only remote participant in a large group meeting).
They just waited until nobody was paying attention, and he got up and put the cardboard in his place. (or, maybe, like I offered before, he said “hey everybody, I don’t think I need to be in this meeting anymore. Anyone mind if I go hang out with my kid instead?” and nobody cared.
Or… maybe the entire teleconference is fake, and he’s just been trying to convince his daughter to be more proactive in problem-solving. He just wanted her to speak up about what she wanted, and instead, she went out and made the intricate plan to get him out of the meeting, thus far surpassing his expectations… so they had S’mores to celebrate.
I was probably too long-winded before, but in advertising, there are only so many times you can say, “Buy our product, because it tastes good/works well/is useful/fun/pretty/educational,” before people stop paying attention, because there are so many other companies making similar products, saying the same things; hence the ads that play on people’s emotions. Some of them miss the mark, like this one did, but nevertheless, it kind of worked, because it got some people here wanting s’mores and/or chocolate milk.
Donna, in your example, your child did not induce you to lie to other people because you were purportedly unable to figure out how to make the adult decision of how to choose between work and spending time with her, without first faking out other people as to whether you were actually working. IMO that is a very significant difference.
@pentamom “Donna, in your example, your child did not induce you to lie to other people”
I have hard time to believe you are honestly interpreting cardboard literally instead of as a symbol.
“because you were purportedly unable to figure out how to make the adult decision of how to choose between work and spending time with her, without first faking out other people as to whether you were actually working.”
It is not heresy to decide not to join a meeting. Sometimes not to work right now is the adult decision. If it was planned time with somebody else, it is ok for person (whether child or adult) you was supposed to be with to have opinion about you skipping it.
Especially when it is one of those corporate meetings that are waste of time for everybody except maybe 2 people out of 10. And those 2 people organized the meeting not because they need to agree on something or spread information to others, but of of weird middle management habit to organize meetings for maximum possible people no matter how irrelevant it is to their work.
And quite frankly, if you can figure out a solution for me not to be on those meetings, I will be thankful. I will gladly join useful meetings, but too many of them are organized by managers who have no deadlines and too much time to waste.
First, I agree with Andy that you are taking this commercial way too seriously. If I required anything on TV to be this 100% real world realistic, I would have stopped watching TV when I was about 4 and realized that dogs can’t actually talk. But if we must:
“because you were purportedly unable to figure out how to make the adult decision of how to choose between work and spending time with her, without first faking out other people as to whether you were actually working.”
It is not exactly unusual to not realize that you want to do something until someone else suggests it. If I were only allowed to engage in activities that were invented in my own mind, I’d only do half the things I end up doing. In other words, it is perfectly reasonable for a parent to not even consider ditching out of a meeting to have s’mores until the kid suggests doing it and then realize that it is a great idea and really what he should be doing at that moment.
And people fake out other people at work all the time. Not usually this elaborately, but it is not as though we all work 40 hours a week with no breaks and don’t occasionally log onto Free Range Kids while pretending to our bosses and coworkers that we are really working. If my kid had some up with this, I totally would have used it even if I could have simply left the meeting because it’s funny. Heck, if I was still working at the public defender’s office, I’d set this up as our next prank.
Dienne
Your assumptions are all wrong.
It is dark at the start because it is overcast. And gets darker because it is late autumn or early winter as indicated by how people are dressed.
I don’t know what you do for a living but around here people not willing to work overtime are quickly replaced with those that will.
Goodness gracious, it’s a commercial. They’re intention is to sell you chocolate and attach good feelings to that. There’s no underlying message to adults that they should give up their jobs to have play time with their kids. They just want to you to buy some godamn chocolate and feel nostalgic.
I’m from the arctic tundra of Michigan. Indoor s’mores are an every winter ritual.
Also, as someone who works with families, I wish more dads would get off their computers and actually spend time with their kids.
That was a girl?!? She’s wearing tights as pants and it’s no less correct on little girls than it on bigger ones. There’s so much wrong with this commercial, I’m too exhausted by progressive antics to go on…
The commercial didn’t really bother me. My kids have a jar of coins. Maybe the Dad hardly ever spends time with her – maybe the workday is over – and that’s why kids are home from school and on the streets – and that’s why it’s night at the end of the commercial – but even after a full workday, he’s still working from home. Maybe he needs to scale back his work hours to place a little more priority on family. Outdoor smores are superior, but I’m not opposed to indoor ones.