UPDATE! Two Versions of What Happens When We Let Kids Wait in the Car. NEEDED: Someone Who Has Faced Kids-in-Car Charge

I often leave my 4 year old and two year old in the car to run quick errands as long as the car is in my line of site or will only be out of site for a moment, like when I’m working the ATM. Obviously not on a hot sunny day.

It concerns me more to take the kids out into a busy parking lot or traipse them through a gas station so I can pick up a coke after filing up the car. Busy bodies never seem to consider these dangers.

Sure somebody could steal the car, but somebody could run them over in the lot too.

1. If your convenience store is in the middle of the Philly slums, don’t leave your kid in the car for two minutes. If it’s in 99% of the rest of America, your locked car is not going to be stolen in broad daylight in full view of the customers and employees of a store within a five minute window. Especially when the crook gets a glimpse of the kid in the car — a complication he does NOT want.

2. What “could happen” to a child in a car in a motionless, shut off car that would require the kid getting out of the car in order to save his life, that could not happen to him in his crib? Tornado? Okay, don’t leave your kid in the car while there’s a tornado warning on. I can’t think of anything else, and anything else anyone could dream up would be so ridiculously unlikely it’s not worth thinking about.

3. Keep your child strapped to your hip at every moment until the age of 18, because someday, some highly unlikely emergency might happen where you could not get to him or her. If you don’t think that’s reasonable, then use some other standard for whether it’s safe to leave your toddler asleep in a car in a safe neighborhood within your own sight.

I don’t know what GS has in mind with “something might happen,” inside the building, but in any event requiring the response of police or rescue personnel, of course they’re going to check the cars adjacent to the building as a matter of routine. And hard as it is to accept, the magic of being in your arms actually does not protect your child from crime or disaster. Maybe if you live in a country where there’s more than a vanishing possibility that some kind of terrorist element might show up and grab kids out of cars to provoke a response, this is worth worrying about, but given the present state of affairs, Americans have NO BUSINESS judging their own or their countrymen’s actions by that standard.

Just recently I left my 8-year old home alone (recovering from a stomach bug) while I took her younger brother to school. She was alone just under 30 min and I was more worried about her looking for her Christmas gifts or finding something inappropriate on YouTube than anything happening while I was out. I think she was safer at home alone than leaving her in the car while I walked her brother in to his preschool class. Fortunately I’ve never had anyone say anything to me the times I have left her in the car (and I have on any number of occasions) but I’m glad my kids are getting old enough that I can leave them and not worry all the time about busybodies. (I’m also glad for the tinting on our side rear windows!)

And when I say “safer” in my previous comment I mean safer from busybodies and the people that drive way too fast in the parking lot (especially for an elem school) not because I’m concerned about the car spontaneously combusting or being stolen by another soccer mom.

My boss left his eight year old in a locked car for thirty seconds while he ran back into his business to grab his phone, and some woman told him someone could have stolen his child.

Last week, I stopped at the ATM in the pouring rain and left my kids in the car half a block away. They are 9 and 7. Some woman wondered what would happen to them if something happened to me. as if my kids would be helpless enough to just sit in the car and starve to death.

I wouldn’t leave a baby in the car, or a dog, but I did leave my cat for five minutes the other day when I ran into the library.

Apropos both this and yesterday’s post.
http://journals.co-action.net/index.php/ijch/article/viewFile/18284/20976
It’s a thing in Finland to have small babies sleep outside in the cold.
“CHILDREN SLEEPING OUTDOORS IN WINTER: PARENTS EXPERIENCES OF A CULTURALLY BOUND CHILDCARE PRACTICE”

Further,
I think the “exposure” argument is more than a little bogus.
While of course it’s *possible* to leave a child or animal in a car too long such that they suffer ill effects, The vast majority of parents *don’t do that*.what critics of “leave them in the car for a few minutes” are in effect saying is that *no parent* can be trusted to take care of their children/make decisions about their children’s well being. because a vanishingly small number have proven they cannot.
This is the heckler’s veto, and we need to root it out wherever possible.

On just a common sense basis, if you’re someone who is so so so worried about kids in a car that you think there’s bad parenting going on, here’s a crazy idea.
Observe, or even talk to the kids through the window. Are they OK? See if they’re OK. [I don’t believe for one second that you can’t effectively evaluate a child’s temperature-based well-being visually.]

“Hey, how’s it going? You OK?”

Oh, wait, then you’d get arrested for being a stranger talking to children in a friendly way.
Never mind.

I left my son for the first time when he was 5, tired of outlet shopping & with a fresh slice of pizza. I locked & alarmed the truck, telling him not to open it or get out for anything. The back windows are so dark, I would think it unusual for somebody to be looking that hard in there. Lately, the youngest dog has been coming along with us. Most criminals do not want to deal with a strange (female pit bull) dog protecting her kid. Actually, most ppl will walk around my truck when they see the dog in the driver’s seat!
Oh! And yesterday, he went skating with his friends’ father. Who better to take 4 boys skating?

I spent four years working at a gas station and I never saw any problem with leaving your kids in the car for the 2 minutes that it takes to pay for your gas and a snack. There were even a few times when I agreed to watch a car for someone while they quick used the bathroom. *gasp* I know.

Somewhat unrelated side note: I would suggest that while you’re fueling your vehicle EVERYONE who is still inside it unbuckle their seat belts – kids or adults. Cars do start on fire either from engine trouble (if you’re having a problem, most people will stop at a gas station) or from a fuel spill. We had one that did from engine trouble and a couple of close calls. That extra bit of time can make a big difference if something happens, and most people would do well to stretch a bit anyway.

I think we can lay some of blame for this mindset on the “it takes a village” crowd. People have always built their own “villages” from the people who surround their daily lives (and those children whose parents PURPOSELY AVOID doing so probably ARE at greater risk of some sort.) Now, too many people think it’s their responsibility to become part of the village of every random child they see. Society has sanctioned busy-bodies, and we are afraid, or too nice, to tell them to mind their own business.

I was just thinking, I hope all of these people who are up in arms about people leaving young children in cars are the first to offer to run errands for the parents of young children. I hope the first commenter offers to run to the store to get medicine when a friend or neighbor has a sick child.

Because, many parents would prefer not to leave their kids in the car; it’s not anybody’s favorite thing to do, especially when they have to worry about legal consequences. They would love to not have to run to the store when their kids are sick, or run errands during naptime. But, if there is nobody offering to help, and the medicine needs to be picked up or the errands need to be run, they are left to decide whether they are going to wake a sick, sleeping child and take them through a parking lot and store or if they are going to leave a child unattended in the car.

I will have my fourth child this summer, at which point I’ll have three kids four and under. I am NOT looking forward to having to put three little ones in the car to pick up a prescription or a gallon of milk, especially if I also have to get them all strapped into the car, get them out of the car, get all of them into the store, get them back to the car, strapped in again, and then out of the car and into the house. I also don’t love the idea of leaving three kids in the car alone, both for legal reasons and because there’s just a lot of potential for fighting and screaming.

So what I’d really hope is that, if I had a sick child or was desperate for some milk or eggs, a neighbor who was running out to the store that day anyway might give me a call and see if they could pick up anything for me. I’d hope that somebody would decide, rather than being a busybody and threatening to call CPS on a mom trying to figure out the best way to run errands with sleeping or sick kids, would offer to help out a mom she knows by running an errand for her or offering to watch her kids at home so the parent could run the errand without kids in tow.

This is just another example of issues that would largely disappear if we all just offered to help each other out more. Just like the problem of “unsupervised” children outside wouldn’t be less of an issue if we knew our neighbors and spent time outside ourselves, it seems like this would be less of an issue if we would offer to help out a neighbor who had a sick baby. So much of helicopter parenting seems to come down to an us-versus-the-world mentality, where the outside world is full of people we need to protect our kids from, rather than people who will come into our lives to help us.

“but I TOTALLY would leave a million in a car unattended. After all, I leave my kids in the car for 2-3 minutes alone, and they’re worth way more than a measly million bucks to me!”

Okay, that is just ridiculous. The difference between a million dollars and a child is that my child is worth more than a million to ME, but worth absolutely nothing to almost everyone else. A million dollars is worth a million dollars to everyone.

Pedophiles are rare. Thieves are a dime a dozen. I have no doubt that the people who stole my ipod out of my car and my lawn mower out of my shed would steal a million dollars. I highly doubt that those people would steal my child, even though she is frequently alone in the same places.

I’m sorry, the first letter writer lost all credibility when she said, “Infants and toddlers die from parents running in a store quickly to get just one or two items and becoming delayed.”

Please cite your source, and the statistics. They also die from their parents DRIVING to the store, getting too close to a pool, in the bathtub, SIDS, and a boatload of other things which, I suspect if she’d bother to do any research, she’d find to be more statistically likely to happen. She needs to get off the TV and stop regurgitating random things she heard.

I just had to decide whether or not to leave a sleeping kid in a car yesterday. I promised my 7 year old that she could buy a pack of gum at the convenience store on our way back home. Of course, my 3 year old fell asleep in the car. I didn’t want to wake her up and deal with crankiness over a 2 minute stop so I parked at the front door, walked my 7 year old inside, waited at the door so I could see the car AND my 7 year old in the candy aisle, paid for gum and was back in the car within 90 seconds. I got lucky finding an open parking spot right by the door, but I had just read the story of the woman who got yelled at so I was paranoid. It’s so silly that I had to worry.

I think this phenomenon of strangers berating moms for leaving their kids safefly in the car for a few minutes is partially motivated by concern for the safety of the children (however well -meaning or misplaced) and partially because it seems socially acceptable to bully moms of young children. I’ve seen a lot of strangers, relatives, even mothers-in-law, tell moms of young children that they are “doing it wrong” and make the moms feel like they are bad parents. Readers of this blog have seen countless examples of commercial marketing that exploits this insecurity and bullying to sell products. This kind of bullying is prevant and often done without consequences.

My wife and I came up with some experiments that could help tease out how much of the motivation is concern for the kids and how much is bullying. You would need a couple of kids or child actors who were in on the experiment, some hidden cameras and some parents or parent-actors. You park the car, the “parent” runs into the store for a set amount of time, the “kids” play contentedly, and you film the reactions from the public that follow. You run the experiment with a number of variables: new expensive luxury vehicle vs used inexpensive minivan, suburban vs urban setting, meek vs confident parent, mom vs dad, mom vs grandma, white vs minority family, no-bumper stickers vs military/police/firefighter bumper stickers, etc…

If bullying was a significant factor, than in each experiment one would expect to see that the reaction from the public would be more muted and controlled when the family and parent had a more empowered appearance. For example, members of the public may be less mean and threatening if the vehicle is expensive, and more mean and threatening if it is a cheap car.

If bullying is a big factor in these interactions, then statistics and facts about child safety aren’t going to be a strong counter measure. Instead, helping & training parents to approach these confrontations with confidence and grace could have a big impact on how socially acceptable it is to berate strangers for making normal parenting decisions.

anonymous mom, EXCELLENT points!

It is unlikely that your car will be stolen in direct line of site at a busy gas station. But, if this woman cared about her children she should never take them through the parking lot. 205 kids are killed in parking lot accidents ever year! (http://www.myparkingsign.com/blog/parking-lot-accidents/#.UsGh17Tt7ac)

I am not sure what could possibly happen that would necessitate a child get out of the car and into an unsafe parking lot by himself. Perhaps it might spontaneously combust?

If something happened inside, wouldn’t you want your child safely away from the building? What if a robber with a gun appeared?

If I were to worry about every bad thing that could possibly happen, I would never be able to leave the house. Then again, a car could crash through the living room (it has happened) lightening could strike a tree and crash into the bedroom (also happens) ….

While I agree passionately with most posters here, I went down the rabbit hole in 2013 when someone called the police because they saw me leave my car with my kids in it, and instead of approaching me and asking where I was going (this is all documented in the police report), they immediately called the police. I was back in seven minutes, and so were the police. It was hellish, and now when my husband orders our kids out of the car even when they are asking to remain behind for a short errand, the reason given is because “the police will take you away if someone calls you in”. I hate the fear. Sometimes reality and common sense don’t line up, and I would hate for anyone else to go through what I went through, so there are some things I think are important to this discussion:

1) Statistics that aren’t from the paranoid Kids and Cars organization that promotes scare tactic videos and stories and is lobbying to make it impossible for you to leave your child unattended in a car ever. The heatstroke death statistics are presented in a plain, un-hyped way here: http://www.ggweather.com/heat/. Anyone can see that a) heatstroke death in cars is exceedingly rare. b) common sense cautions should be exercised with the 0 to 2 group who is most vulnerable, and c) sadly, the most common type of death is a “forgotten” child, easy enough for any overwhelmed parent of a newborn to fall into.

2) ALL parents need to hear stories with video so they can visually see that middle class, well-educated, loving and doting parents just like themselves are falling in this rabbit hole daily. It is a complicated mess of laws/lack of laws, and police officers, CPS, and “good citizens” that all are living in fear of LIABILTY. This fear completely suspends all rational judgement. When the police show up at your unattended vehicle, there is a good chance they will be completely UNWILLING to listen to all of the good, common sense reasons that your kids are JUST FINE, and depending on the laws in your state they may be legally compelled to report you to CPS even if there is absolutely NO law against leaving children unattended in a vehicle in your state. The claim I was neglecting my children was indeed substantiated. That means that in Charlottesville, VA it qualifies as child neglect to leave a five year old and a two year old in a minivan for seven minutes while they sit completely calmly sipping water and reading books by definition. The only way to change that is by working to change things at the government level.

3) Advocate for people to post their anonymous police reports from this issue online so we can look for biases, similarities, differences, and see if there is a common thread or a way we could easily separate “criminal” neglect of children in a car versus good solid parenting.

If you leave your child in front of some toys in the living room while you watch him or her, a car from a street could drive through your living room window and kill your child. It has happened, therefore it is likely right?

To Mel. J:

I’m really sorry to hear what you went through. I went through something similar. It is nightmarish and traumatic and completely wrong. Stay strong!

As far as ideas for getting this issue attention, what about some memes that illustrated the absurdity of these laws. For example, in Texas there is no law against leaving a kid at home alone, but leaving your child in a car is. What about a photo of some kids doing something wild, fun and maybe a little questionable while there parents are away from home, next to a photo of a kid sleeping in a seatbelt, air-conditioning running, in a locked car while mom stands in line at a gas station 20 feet away, keeping one eye on the car? Words printed on each photo would indicate which act was breaking the law.

It’s so remarkable to me that these bullying busy-bodies often seem to be older than the young parents.
Whenever I hear my family talk about child-rearing, it’s what you would expect: the young parents (my cousins) may be a bit insecure (or not…), but my aunts and uncles and own parents, now in their 50’s and 60’s, are very calm and matter-of-factly.
“Of course – when you guys were little, we would … ” [insert helicopter parent’s nightmare story]
They didn’t leave us outside the grocery store on their bicycle though 😛

Lenore,
How about starting a “Facebook Party” to get the word out. Do you remember when everyone was changing their status to a color for breast cancer awareness. We could all change our statuses to something we’ve done where nobody got hurt. Ex: my mom left us kids in the car for 30 min at a time while she purchased a hundred dollars of groceries.

Kelly

My kids are 4-1/2 and 1-1/2 years old, so I always take them inside the store. However, I will leave them in the car to go get a shopping cart first (line of sight, just a few seconds); then I load ’em into the cart, and I don’t have to worry about them getting run over in the parking lot, or wandering off in the store. If I really only need ONE thing from the store, then I either suck it up and accept the fact that it’s going to take an extra few minutes to make the stop, or I figure out how to get by without that one item until the next shopping trip.

Look, I’m sorry, but I have to agree with the first lady. I see nothing wrong with a young child being left alone in a car-provided they could get themselves out if the car gets too hot/cold. Babies and young toddlers can’t do that, because they can’t get out of their carseat. My concern isn’t a car being broken into, or the engine combusting or something. Babies have a much lower tolerance for extreme temperatures than older children and adults. And temperatures can skyrocket or plummet very fast inside a car. I know the people on this site like to think that’s not true, but it is.

So on one page we talk about babies taking naps outside in (almost) freezing weather, and on the other we’re concerned that babies may die inside a car because the temperature might plummet within a 5 minute range?

Just asking.

Personally, I never left my kids in the car. It’s just not something I would feel comfortable doing. If I saw a small kid (preschooler or younger) in a car alone, I think I would probably hang around to make sure something wasn’t amiss. Perhaps I’m admitting to my own inflated concern that’s created by the annual stories about kids/pets left in cars.

Calling the police is a different issue. Yelling at the parent is a different issue. There’s no harm in me noticing people doing something I wouldn’t, but involving the law or being rude are unnecessary.

@KatyFranz: Stop spreading fear and get your facts straight.

CA law – as you can see for yourself at the link you provided – states that it’s an infraction (less then a misdemeanor) to leave a child 6 or under in a car, unsupervised, IF:
(a) conditions are present that pose a significant risk to the child’s safety;
OR
(b) the car is running or the keys are in the ignition.

Note:
– “Supervision” can be as young as 12.
– “Risk” to safety must be “posed” – not theoretical. This means, e.g., high temperatures. It does not mean a theoretically possible but unlikely carjacking or asteroid strike.
– Car must be running or keys left in the ignition.
– It’s an infraction, punishable by fine ($100 or less, IIRC). Not a misdemeanor, certainly not a felony.

Net: Feel free to leave the kids in the car, just use common sense: turn the car off, take the keys with you and don’t do it if it’s actually risky for some reason (too hot or too cold).

“It may be “worst first”, but this is a risk I am unwilling to take.”

That’s not “worst first.” That’s a reasonable calculation based on the known abilities of your kids (ability to get out of the car), their likelihood to get into trouble (they’d be inclined to do that given the chance) and the actual, real-world dangers of the situation (young kids running around in parking lots with moving cars is something that realistically does result in bad outcomes.)

“Worst first” is thinking up the worst thing that can happen, regardless of its likelihood, and using that as a reason to do or not do something, instead of calculating the real-world dangers involved and making a judgment based on that.

And I disagree with L.C. on this — as Lenore uses the term, “Free Ranging” is not only about letting kids explore for the sake of development, though it includes that. It’s about the idea that kids don’t need to be caged up and guarded 24/7 because the world isn’t that dangerous. One benefit of that is more exploration and development, but that’s not the sum of the issue. You might use the expression differently, but that’s how Lenore defines it, and having published a high-selling book on it, I figure she’s entitled to use her own definition. 🙂

L. C. Burgundy: This is a free range issue because a child learns that one can take care of and entertain oneself for a few minutes, or longer. Bad things don’t automatically happen because a parent is not within arms reach.

Unfortunately, I don’t meet the judgmental people in person, I usually meet them on FB, in a large group, where they post photos of kids incorrectly fastened in child seats, or how they “couldn’t believe how that parent of the newborn in the store with the toddler didn’t pick up the newborn immediately to stop the crying.”

In the first case, I pointed out that not knowing the family, they shouldn’t have posted the picture of the child on the net in case the child was involved in a custody battle. If the person felt that strongly about the belt safety, they should carry pamphlets advising people where to go to get their seat checked. Besides, people who know her might have linked the photo to her, resulting in a lot of embarrassment.

In the second case, the woman DID tell the mother to “PICK UP YOUR CHILD!” which I found incredibly rude. After I pointed out that the new mother may very well be overwhelmed and the that the more appropriate thing (instead of making her feel like a bad mother by berating her,) would be to offer to hold the child for a couple of minutes and to maybe even help her with her shopping. In the end, I got back an “oh, I didn’t think of her needs and what I could do to help her.” Even a few of the people who initially agreed with the poster that the woman should pick up her baby in the end agreed that the village should HELP the mom, not tell her she was a bad mom.

Should I come across a parent being yelled at…yup, I have my answers ready for the busy body. I hope I won’t but this site has given me the words to say.

Someone mentioned it must be so sad to think ‘worst first’…

It IS sad. I imagine it’s also EXHAUSTING. It’s so strange, because I was raised free-range. Now the same woman who let me roam with my pals until well after dusk would be the first to chide a stranger for leaving a child in the car for two minutes.

When I ask her why, the answer is always that times are different. When I tell her the statistics, she says “it’s just my opinion”…that facts are facts is outweighed by the media machine.

Now she worries constantly. Not just over stranger’s children, but over everything…”What if we die on the way to the store…who would look after the cats?” It’s exhausting just to listen to, I can’t imagine having all that stress and anxiety in my head. I’m so glad I grew up in a different time…a time when my mother understood that risk is part of life and must be considered and managed, not avoided completely at the cost of actually living.

As for the Facebook status idea… I think I know what my post(s) would be.

“When I was about 4 my mom left me alone in the front seat of the car to run a short errand. It wasn’t the first time. But this time she left me with a prescription pill bottle on my lap. Having just started reading I saw ‘Push down and turn to open.’ And opened it. It was the first time reading accomplished something. But I knew about medicine so I put the lid right back. Everything was fine, just like every other time before and after.”

Or perhaps… “When I was maybe 6 my mom reluctantly left me in the car to go grocery shopping on a hot day. Even opening the doors it was getting too hot. So I got out and waited next to the car. I still preferred it to going in with her. Now parents have to go to court for less.”

I live in San Diego, where it is not a criminal offense to leave a child in the car. There are some stipulations like not a risky situation, such as with the keys in the car or too hot, but if they are 6 years or older the law states its ok regardless. Probably deeming a 6 year old smart enough to be careful. My son is 6, and daughter 5. I will leave them in the car, out of my sight, for a quick errand. I do not leave my keys in the car, and if i dont think its safe, i wont leave them. When I mention this to most people I know, they think it is illegal. Funny, they just assume its illegal and immediately condemn me. I have looked at the law and feel confidant I am not breaking the law, and am making the best decisions for us all. We all know our kids limits. To each his own. But I do try to spread the word that its not illegal, here at least.

I used to travel with my three young kids from the DC area to upstate NY on long weekends fairly regularly. From the time the third one was born (oldest was 4, other was 2) they knew that if it was nighttime and they were asleep, I would NOT wake them up when I stopped for gas and used the restroom. If they woke up and the car was parked, they knew I’d be back soon. I’d leave the engine running and the heat/ac on and use my spare key to lock them in. None of them ever got out of the car, turned anything on or off, or otherwise injured themselves. Worst thing that ever happened was that after I got back one was awake and complained I had taken “forever” – but she wasn’t crying or upset, just bored because she woke up and her siblings were asleep.

Most of the horror stories in the first response reminded me of the classic Ferris Bueller line:

“Um, he’s sick. My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.”

Leaving a kid in a car on a hot day is dangerous. But the rest of these fears are far fetched. The main way kids get hurt or killed in cars is in crashes, not when they’re parked.

I completely disagree that there is no character building in infants and toddlers being left in a car. One of the traits that was important to me to build in my child at a young age was the security to be alone for a few minutes and the realization that I will be back. Of course, you don’t need to leave a child in the car for that but it is a way.

Further the analysis is completely irrelevant. Underlying much of free range parenting is the belief that everything doesn’t have to be about the kids. We don’t have to be a martyr to the parenting cause. It is perfectly acceptable to balance the risk to the child against the benefit to parents. It is fine to say “there is no risk to my child and it is much more convenient to me.”

Katy Franz, the situation you described is not what is being discussed here. The situation you have described is dangerous & against the law. I also live in Cali & am familiar with the law. It states that you can’t leave them in the car when it’s running or in an unsafe situation like a hot day. That said on a not hot day with the engine off & the windows cracked, doors locked & the children secured in their car seats, they are safe for a few minutes if you are nearby. Like previous posters have said it’s much more dangerous statistically speaking to bring them into a bank or convenience store where it could be robbed. Maybe we should all never leave the house, oh but danger lurks there too. It’s funny how perspective has changed in just a short few years. I was recently watching an old episode of the TV show Emergency; Season two, episode 21 that originally aired on Apr 07, 1973. They were called out by some busy bodies concerned for a baby in a car. They were not allowed to open the car & they waited. The mother came out of the hairdressers to retrieve the sleeping baby & yelled at the paramedics & they left. Now I don’t condone leaving a baby in the car while you get your hair done, but here we are a mere 40 yrs later & there would probably be 12 policemen & they would have immediately broken into the vehicle & handed the baby off to CPS, oh & the news crews, can’t forget them. What has happened in the last 40 to change our idea of what is safe so drastically????

Lenore-
have you written about this in the newspapers you freelance for? You’ve written about the subway, you’ve written about leaving kids in the park unattended, and a host of other issues related to free range, but I don’t think you’ve written an article entirely devoted to this subject.
It would be controversial and increase page views, call it “yes, it’s ok to leave your kids in the car” and then qualify it with an asterisk and tiny print (for brief errands)
You’ve got stats on your side for all the fears. You know that the fear of death comes from forgetting your child in the car, not leaving her there unintentionally. More kids die in parking lots than cars (although that’s not a reason not to take kids out of the car, just showing how misplaced the fear is) Make a case, write it up.
And then talk about the damage “well-meaning” good Samaritans do by calling 911 over absolutely nothing. Explain how parents are being forbidden from making common sense judgement calls, and it’s intrusive and limits freedom.
Wrap up with a million dollar counter argument, which has already been deconstructed here many times. And finally, a poll to the readers. Ask them if they’ve ever done it, under what conditions, and what happened. Would they do it again?

Helicoptering is coming under fire for good reason. Keep stoking the flames. Show people that other options exist.

Honestly, the “no running car/keys in ignition because it’s so dangerous” line of thought angers me. You’re assuming things you don’t know. Exhibit A: My car. 1. It uses two sets of keys – doors and ignition. Thus, I can leave the car running for the kids and still have the doors locked. 2. It is child-proof. Even with the engine running, my kids could not get it out of park. In order to do so, you have to push the brake pedal completely to the floor while simultaneously pushing the gear stick up and away from you before you can bring it down into drive. Without the brake fully compressed, the gear shift will not move an inch. Yes, a kid could manage to stand on the brake pedal, but the position in which they would have to be in order to do this would make it almost impossible for the child to move the gear shift. Exhibit B: My children. 1. My kids are not allowed to play in the car, or to ever sit in the driver’s seat. They know that if I ever catch them doing so, the result will be a particularly unpleasant experience that they might not survive. Because I let them be independent as much as possible, and don’t have strict restrictions on most of the rest of their lives, they have no interest in messing around in the car.

Is there a chance that they’ll rebel and somehow figure out how to change gears? Sure. But it’s a small enough risk that it doesn’t factor into my decisions.

That being said, if it’s hot or cold enough that I feel it necessary to leave the car running, it’s very doubtful I would leave them in the car. But the assumption that if I did leave the car running bad things will instantly follow really grinds my gears.

Well, nice to know you read your posts. Singling my post out I have to assume I struck a nerve. Comparing it to the other post is silly since it’s obvious I’m talking about children who CANNOT undo their seatbelts or leave the car, which is a far cry from kids old enough to play dentist in the car. I’m also not saying children should never be left in the car, but judging from my oldest’s ability to undo her car seat I set the age at 6. Why? Because my mom, a mom from the 50’s who let her kids run through fields and play pretty much free-range, always set the common sense rule that when your kid can open the door and get out in an emergency then they can be left in the car alone. Before then, the least that could happen is them locking you out of the car.

To answer other people’s questions, no the car stolen was not in a ghetto area. Cars being stolen is having the largest crime increase, and we have actual laws about where I live leaving a car running unattended, let alone with children inside. Do a search on car stolen, children inside, it’s not nearly as rare as you’d think. A child old enough to get out of their seat can call for help, yell when someone breaks in, or even get out of the car if they have to.

My biggest argument is that if your child is too young to be able to get out if they needed to then leaving them there is an entrapment hazard. What could happen? Again, someone stealing the car, someone hitting the car (I’ve had people hit my parked car before), getting too hot or too cold so they need to get out of the car, getting cut, hurt, etc, things like that where they NEED to be able to get out of the car and get help. The very least that could happen is them locking you out.

That good Samaritan could not know how long the child was in there, the condition of the child, or if the mother left the child at every inconvenient stop. Shoot, if the child had been old enough to say “I’m okay, my mom is right there” then that is a different picture.

There’s an unrealistic view you and many on here have that a car is safe. Kids barely get kidnapped. They barely have any accidents in the house. Look up how many get hurt in or around cars and compare them to that number. I’m sorry, I’m not advocating strapping your child to your hip until they’re 18, or anything as silly as you or others are attacking me for. I’m talking about making sure your child can leave the car if they need to and THEN allowing them to wait in the car. You’re basically saying it’s fine to tie a kid up and assume they’re safe because they can’t get out and the doors are locked.

Emily, there are 80 posts here telling you why you’re wrong, and saying back to us “look it up” doesn’t bolster your arguments in any way. And where do you live that there are such dramatic unpredictable weather changes in the space of minutes? Because man, I don’t want to move there.