Hi Readers — I went to check the forecast on weather.com zsfedysztb
this morning and up popped an app, unbidden: “Mom’s Daily Planner.”
How the site KNEW I’m a mom I won’t even speculate. But here are the day parts it broke the day down into:
Lunchtime
PM Bus Stop
Evening Activity
Excuse me — “PM Bus Stop” is now an official part of a mom’s day? We are EXPECTED to be at the bus stop to pick up our children? Expected to drop everything to stand guard at the bus stops that have existed for decades, where kids used to hop off and skip home on their own? Now these MUST be manned — or rather, mommed?
I know that some schools require a mom or other per-certified caregiver to wait at the stop and this irks me no end — why can’t the parents decide if they think it’s safe (or even beneficial!) for their kid to walk from the bus stop to home? But what’s uber-irking me today is that this is becoming so much the norm that Weather.com treats it like a pre-ordained part of every mother’s day: You get up, you get dressed, you have breakfast, lunch and then pick up the kid from the bus stop.
Apparently you don’t work, or if you do, you skip that report the boss was waiting for, to make sure your kid doesn’t ever have to walk a block or two alone.
As Weather.com’s presumed “Evening Activity” is ambiguous — PERHAPS the mom is allowed to attend an activity of her own choosing and this does NOT only refer to the child’s evening activity — I’m not going to carp about it. Ditto, the site’s “lunchtime.” But “PM Bus Stop” has me stormier than the November weather outside. Weather that I guess I’ll check by looking out the window instead of clicking on the blithely bubblewrapping, neighborhood-distrusting, mom-indenturing Weather.com. — Lenore
ADDENDUM: I think (and hope!) many of the commenters below are right: This “PM Bus stop” is a way for parents to see what the weather will be when the kids are walking home, not when WE, the parents, are stuck waiting at the bus stop. I hope so and thanks for enlightening me! L.
43 Comments
Sadly, a lot of school busses won’t drop the kid off without a parent standing there. That’s why we’re walkers.
Try the National Weather Service at http://www.weather.gov/
There’s a box at the top left to enter your city and state and there’s no annoying advertising.
And perhaps it is a note about what the weather will be so that you can gently remind Junior to take a coat, as it will be cold when he walks home from the bus stop.
Enh, I’ve never seen the Weather Channel’s PM Bus Stop notation as “You must go pick your kid up from the bus stop!!”
Rather, it has always been something to point to when having the daily jacket argument with the kids: “Look, stubborn ass, it’s going to be FREEZING when you get out of school, so take your damned hoodie with, and stop arguing!”
Actually, Lenore, I think this may be an example of worst-first thinking on your part (Sorry!). PM bus stop has been a part of the daily breakdown of the forecast for a long time, far prior to today’s paranoid helicopter parents. If the morning is sunny and warm, but a front is supposed to be blowing through bringing rain and cooler weather later in the day, then you can send your child to school with galoshes and an umbrella so they’re PREPARED for the walk home.
I think Joette is right – especially if you didn’t see an “AM bus time.” Unless they’re assuming your child is capable of walking to the bust alone but not of walking back.
Have to agree w/ the other posters. I take this as plan ahead, give your kid a jacket. Or tell him he doesn’t need the winter coat because the chill will burn off an it will be 70-degrees at 4:00pm.
I think the people that said it is due to changes in weather are correct. Then again did any of our parents concern themselves with such things? If I forgot an umbrella I came home wet. If I didn’t like being wet I learned to listen to the news the night before.
Honestly folks walking four to six blocks in any weather is not going to kill the child. If they don’t like their fingers getting that cold before they get home they remember their gloves, don’t like being wet, bring an umbrella.
Sorry but I am still trying to get over the shock this morning. I had to drop my son off at school and was surprised to find that most parents felt their middle school kids needed to be dropped off directly in front of the doors instead of the full length of the circle. I mean these kids are almost teens. If you can’t trust them, or expect them, or whatever your pathetic reason is for messing up traffic, to walk a block what are you going to do in a couple years when they want to drive the car? 🙁
over-react much?
I don’t know….I’d be a little more concerned how they figured out I’m a mom…..heh.
@Jules: couldn’t that be considered “kidnapping”? I think it would hold up in court. 😉
As for the topic of the article, if PM Bus Stop is actually prepping for the weather when the kids get out of school, why do parents need reminding? Isn’t it just common sense? I check the weather everyday in the morning before work, and plan what I wear accordingly (I just look for the hi’s and the lo’s). I know my limits to the elements, and it could be more or less than others. But I don’t need Weather.com to tell me to bundle up. But then again, with so many people proving that they can’t think for themselves, maybe it’s done as a favor for these people. lol
My brother and I always walked home from the bus stop. Unless it was unexpectedly pouring rain, then Mom would be waiting with the car. It only happened if the weather was clear that morning and we didn’t have umbrellas. It was very sweet. 🙂
Not that I am for that or anything, but my husband has a Class A drivers licence with a Passenger endorsement, and here in California at least, the driver and the school is legally responsible for the student until they arrive ‘home’. Which is why a few schools have parents waiting for them at the bus stop, so they are not sued. I know that in order for my son to be dropped off without me being there I had to put in writing I would not sue them if something happened to my son in the 20 feet walk from the Bus stop to our house. Not because they are worried about something bad happening (I live in a very small town, that are mystified over the rest of the country we still have a miracle-go-round) but just so they are covered against over-zealous parents.
About 6 kids kids get off at the stop at the top of the hill a block from home. I’m the ONLY one who lets my daughter walk by herself. If you could call it that, since there are other kids coming down the hill, too, albeit with their parents. What’s funny is that Julia thinks it’s so great being able to walk down on her own that she crosses the street so she’s not associated with the grownups! Makes me laugh. Luckily, I can do that (even though the other parents more than likely think I’m a slacker). The school district next to ours won’t let kids off the bus unless someone is waiting for them. Bah.
Actually, Lenore, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this might be one of the few times you’ve mis-assumed and gone off half-cocked.
But that’s okay, dear–as wonderful as you are, and I think you are just wonderful, you’re human. We all are.
I still like your “go-after-ed-ness” if you will, don’t let that cause you to become timid all of a sudden. I disagree with Matt L., I don’t think you “overreact much.” Everyone overreacts sometimes, and we under-react sometimes as well. Oh well!
I still think you’re absolutely wonderful, I still think you should–in general–go after things as you did here, I still think your judgment most of the time is very sound–and I look forward to that “theoretical second book” you’re undoubtedly working on.
LRH
“Then again did any of our parents concern themselves with such things? If I forgot an umbrella I came home wet. If I didn’t like being wet I learned to listen to the news the night before.”
I think my mom probably said, “It’s going to be cold this afternoon. Dress warm.”
Somehow, despite my mom taking a moment to remind me to think ahead, I learned to do it myself.
I think we can go overboard with this “make your kid be independent” thing. Yes, it’s good to teach them to think for themselves and be responsible for themselves. No, it’s not helicoptering or overprotection if your parenting style includes reminding them of what the weather is expected to be, especially if it’s a situation where it’s likely to be significantly different from when they walk out the door.
Parenting styles and interaction styles vary. I don’t think I have to forgo what I’d consider the kind of courtesy I’d extend to anyone else as far as suggesting that the weather’s going to change, in order to be fostering independence. For one thing, beyond a certain age, I’ll mention it, but the kid has to choose for himself what he’s actually going to do. OTOH, if that’s something you want to establish, that the kid is responsible for how he dresses for the weather with no reminding from you, that’s legitimate, too.
But I think those who are saying this is just to give you a chance to anticipate weather changes are probably right. That’s okay, Lenore gets to be wrong sometimes, too. 😉
Oh, I always interpreted this planner differently. I saw it as a way for parents to help their kids plan their day/ clothing choices. For instance, I live in Florida where the weather is incredibly unpredictable, and it would be nice to know that this sunny, beautiful morning will likely be 45 degrees and rainy by mid afternoon. Then I would know to tell my kid to take a jacket, and maybe go pick him up instead of making him ride his bike home. I walked home, and always loved when my mom would bail me out on rainy days 🙂
i just started following this website….it appears that the last couple of posts have been mis-interpreted to further your platform. what platform is that…i can’t really tell… what do you stand for…what makes a free range family?…how can you promote FR parenting to naysayers? what are some examples of living FR?…these were questions i was looking forward to reading about…Am i missing something? Are there great posts hidden amongst conspiracy type theories? i am genuinely interested in broadening my parenting horizons…interested in reading about the success of FR parenting…without passing judgment on other forms of parenting…isn’t part of the basis of FR parenting-inclusion…but all i read is mockery of other styles?
Actually, the more I think about it “PM Bus Stop” really IS thinking in a Free-range way. After all, if you are picking your kid up at the bus stop, it doesn’t matter much if it’s raining or cold. S/he is getting into the car (okay, that’s the assumption) and you are driving home. But if weather.com is alerting you to the weather at the afternoon bus stop, seems to me the kid is probably walking him/herself home.
@ Tracy, read Lenore’s book and I think you’ll get a better idea. Folks here are just tired of helicopter parents who feel you have to cushion your child 24/7. There’s so much guilt piled onto parents these days for not doing enough, not watching enough, not considering enough. FRK lets go of a lot of that to give kids independence so they can go out in the world and be trusted, much like most of us were. It’s not a conspiracy theory site, although it is counter-acting a lot of what the media pushes at us and what other entities (schools, gov’ts, etc.) react to.
So do I get free-range brownie points if I report that I took my kid to preschool today entirely inappropriately underdressed? Completely neglecting the impact of the incoming cold front?
No?
Darnit.
He survived. But I should have packed him a jacket.
I stopped watching the weather channel when they stopped actually talking about the weather forecast. And I find other websites like the National Weather Service far more usable & reliable. In 1995, when Hurricane Opal was bearing down on my hometown, TWC was telling people to evacuate while the local authorities were trying to get people to stay off the roads b/c there was no time to evacuate. I’ve been skeptical of them ever since. They are part of the sensationalist media problem.
Yeah, I’ve always took it to mean the weather around the time the kids get out of school. Whether I was going to pick them up (as I had to the last 3 years because their school wouldn’t release them without an adult there so I had to walk 10 minutes to get them every afternoon) or they are walking home from the bus stop (like they do now as do all the other kids in our neighborhood…no parents in sight) it was nice to know what the weather would be like. Mostly for me when I had to walk. Not that I couldn’t just go check myself but sometimes I’d be sitting at the computer and just check to give me an idea of how early I should start getting me and the youngest ready to head out. If it was going to be super cold it took longer to bundle her up.
I use the weather channel’s desktop thing to get the temp next to my clock on the screen. I use it to give me an approximate temp and to alert me to incoming warnings from the National Weather Service but otherwise I ignore the main site.
Well, we have to put our kid on the bus and get him off. But then again, he’s 3, and rides the special needs bus and he’s not yet capable of doing it alone. He gets on at the school my husband works at, and gets off at his school. Then he gets on in the afternoon and off at the school my husband works at. Then my husband brings him home.
They have the car lines and everything at my son’s school, but then again, that school has lots of special needs kids, and only kids ages 3 – 6. So I guess I can see why. The next school he will go to won’t be that regimented.
@seriouslyjustjo: I see something similar to this at the elementary school my two younger boys go to. There is two parking lots behind the school: a lower, where the teachers park, and an upper that is closed off once school starts so the kids can play basketball, four-square, etc. Teachers usually park in the lower, and the drop-off in the upper goes as follows: drive through the gate, and along chain-link fence (on your right) that runs along the classrooms and forms a little walking path, up to the back of the school (where the door is about 30 feet or so from where you pull up, and then make a wide u-turn and go back out of the parking lot. The principal has asked that if you are pulled up alongside one of the openings in the chain-link, to drop your child off there and let them use that walkway, otherwise, just have them get out the passenger side when you reach the door. And to put them on the passenger side so no one drives by them and they don’t have to cross in front of cars.
Sounds easy, right? I mean I seldom need to drop them off (three reasons: It is under 30 degrees, it is pouring rain to the point an umbrella is useless, or they are hopelessly late). Even I had the system down the first time. But here’s where it gets fun: there are a handful of parents, of children of all ages, who park in the upper lot (where we need to turn around), get all of their kids out of the car, take them by the hand, and walk them the 30 feet to the door. They hold up the line of cars so they can pass through.
Why? IMO, a child who can not walk 30 feet into the school while the parent watches from their car probably isn’t ready to be alone in school all day either. Or the parent is the one who isn’t ready. If my kindergartener can manage, I’m sure some of these third-and fourth-graders being taken by the hand can as well.
As for us, I now just drive up the street behind the school and let my kids walk through the cow path and go in the back. It’s probably about 50 yards, and I can’t see them because of the trees and the hill, but at least I have the confidence to know that my kids can walk across a schoolyard in broad daylight.
Sorry, I just needed to get that off my chest.
I had to explain to my daughter’s kindergarten teacher three times, and the principal twice, that it was safe for my daughter to walk home – ALONE – every day. They kept “holding her” until I came around the corner!
My two older kids walked to school alone at the age of 5 as well. They all lived. I’m over the school district determining what’s best for MY child – I pay them for a service to teach them the three R’s, and they need to leave the parenting to me!
I have no use for the Weather Channel. For years I’ve espoused the “look out the window” method for determining how I should dress myself and my family for the day. I keep spare sunglasses, an umbrella, a scarf and a throw blanket in the car just in case. Somehow we’ve all managed not to die of exposure.
It’s worse in my school district, if someone isn’t at the bus stop to meet my son, they will take him back to the school where a parent has to then go pick them up.
So night and day with our generation and this. Sun, rain or snow, even high force winds didn’t keep us from walking to school on our own. If rained by the time we got out of school and we didn’t bring an umbrella (we usually had raincoats), we were just as happy walking home in the rain. We didn’t mind getting soaked. In fact, in my elementary school, you weren’t considered “cool” if you didn’t like playing in the rain. lol
@Tracy: I would agree that some of the posts here make things sound like “conspiracy theory”. But if you read the other older articles, you’ll notice more logical views. As dmd suggested, read Lenore’s book. Basically, FR is about letting kids be kids (much like we grew up), teaching them to be confident about themselves, and the only way to do this is by not sheltering them. Allowing them to experience life as it should, not how the media tells/influences us. This quote may come from a movie, but it holds truth. “Why do fall down? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” If we were never allowed to “fall down” as children, we wouldn’t know how to “pick ourselves up” when we fall as adults. How we raise our children today, is what will shape them as adults.
My daughter just started first grade this fall and has started riding the public school bus. After much hand-wringing over the summer deciding whether I would let her walk to the stop and wait for the bus by herself, we are now happily doing this on a regular basis. The bus stop is only a block from our house, and at least 4 or 5 other neighborhood kids are regularly at her stop. I realized quickly that because my husband travels and I have a 2-year-old and and infant, it wasn’t practical for me to bring my daughter to the bus stop each morning and wait for 5 or 10 minutes for the bus to arrive. In the afternoon, I was taking my younger kids to the stop to wait for the bus to arrive. But what was a fun outing in warmer weather, wasn’t so much when it’s pouring rain or freezing outside.
So…my daughter first started coming home on her own one rainy day when we were late because I was trying to get the rain boots on my 2-year-old and it took too long. Now she comes home by herself (usually walking with other kids, actually) every day and everyone is happy. My daughter is thrilled with the new responsibility that comes with being 6 years old!
@Jules, ya seriouslyjustjo is my alter ego. Mawhahaha No it is a blog that I can’t get off the ground cause I keep complaining. I digress
My older two went to a Catholic grade school six miles from my home so no walking. There was a three block drop off but there were always parents who had to drop off at the door. Worse were the ones who stopped by the lower grade door and then the upper grade door.
What really drove me nuts was they were already ignoring the impact of their actions but on top of that didn’t have the sense to have the lower grade kids close to the door so half the kids had to get out, let the little ones out, get back in, drive 30 ft. and get out again. Swear to bob one time I hit my head against the steering wheel hard enough to honk the horn.
And here I was all pissed off that it said “mom” instead of “parent.” Last I checked, men were equally capable of executing these unnecessarily protective tasks.
I love your site, but do you care about free range women?
@Jules and @EricS: When my son was in Kindergarten, I “had” to be at the bus stop or they wouldn’t let him off. This ticked me off to no end because I had a 2 year old who was the most uncooperative thing on the planet *lol* I’d have to start him getting ready almost an hour before we needed to walk the *almost 2 blocks* to the bus stop.
One day we left really early to go past the bus stop to the Walgreens to pick up medicine. I did stop at the bus stop and told the crossing guard we were going to pick up medicine and stuff and would be back. He said if we were late, he’d hold him there for me. The bus passed me maybe 1,000 feet before the stop. Close enough that Liam saw me, but far enough that I couldn’t make it to the stop. The crossing guard had to argue with the bus driver that, yes, the woman Liam yelled out the window saying “MAMA!” was, indeed his mother and the driver could either wait until I pushed the stroller over to the bus and held up traffic on a main road, or the driver could just leave the kid off with the crossing guard who is paid to watch the kids…. Thankfully the driver dropped him off, tho the driver lectured me the next day about how *I* had to be there.
The other time I was really really REALLY pissed. My little one kept undressing himself as soon as I turned my head. After 30 mins of fighting with him, I finally decided to toss him in the stroller and grab a blanket to cover him up and give up on the clothing so I didn’t miss the bus. I look at the time and it’s still about 10 mins before the scheduled time. We walk to the bus stop and my cell rings. It’s the Administration building asking when I’m picking up Liam. Apparently in the time that I was fighting with the baby, the bus came — EARLY. Now the bus stop is on our main road and the bus TURNS onto our side road where our driveway is. The driver swears up and down they sent an older kid to our house to knock on the door. I was less than 5 feet away from the door (which has a window on it) so there is NO WAY they did that. (Liam says they never stopped, btw).
They want me to go to the Admin building to pick him up. Now I have no car, so I tell them that I’d have to walk 5 MILES down a pretty dangerous road with a 2-year old with Bronchitis in a stroller, and there are no sidewalks by the Admin building. They said “Ok, just make sure you’re here by 4:30”. It’s now 4:00. I can hear Liam crying in the background as I talk on the phone. He told me later that he wanted to just go inside the house since he thought he saw me in the window when they passed. He knew I was dealing with his brother and he knew he was sick. He says one of them told him that I probably forgot about him. *growls*
So I go and get the baby an extra sweater, and start walking…. I called my husband, who works 30 mins away, and he immediately jumped in the car to head home. We hoped at least that I’d only have to walk one way and he’d pick me up there. (Oh, also should mention I have Fibromyalgia and walking distances like that is a version of pain that I can’t even describe).
We did end up getting there (tho after their “closing time”) and got yelled at for not following the rules. I got a lecture on how dangerous it was to not be at the bus stop for the 5 year old to get off. A lecture on how if they would have left him off the bus “anything” could have happened to him. They asked me to sign a paper saying I’ll be more responsible next time (to which I laughed, btw). They also emphasized how “glad” they were that the bus driver brought him back to the admin office rather than leaving him off in our driveway.
So let’s see what happened. Instead of the kid being left off at the house, knocking on the door while the bus waited (or sent another kid with him while the bus waited) and made sure I was actually home…. My younger son ended up with pneumonia, I ended up on crutches for a week due to too much walking on my ankle and knee, my older son was terrified to ride the school bus for 2 weeks so I had to make arrangements to take city buses in to his school to pick him up (which is 1 1/2 hours each way with 3 bus transfers…), and my husband had to tell his boss he had to leave work over an hour early (I’m so thankful that his boss has a huge “family first” thing!).
Liam is now in 2nd grade. I bought him a cell phone so he can call from the bus if the bus driver is being an idiot (he did call once to find out the name of the street his bus stop is on since the driver didn’t know), and he has a house key. The only time I’m seen at the bus stop is when we have high winds/rain or sleet and I have the car, or we’re bored and want a walk *lol*
glad to see I wasn’t the only one who’s only reaction to this article was ‘seriously, Mom’s planner?’ can’t Dad check the weather for the bus stop now and then too?
I get that this is about free range parenting and not the rampant sexism that seems to abound in parenting discussions in the US – but is there really no end? Do Moms do nothing all day but take care of their children? I guess from the other post I know that men are pretty much useless in the equation!
I didn’t read all the comments but I’d like to ask–why is it MOM’s planner and not DAD’s, or PARENTS? Mainly I’m ranting because I’m the wife of one of those husbands who has to do everything for the kids because I’m the mom but in actuality I’m sure there are a lot of dads out there who pick up the kids at the bus stop (I don’t agree with any bus-stop picking-up, btw), or dress the kids in the morning (so they are warm enough at PM bus stop) or whatever else. Why does it have to be part of Mom’s day?
@Janet
I would have taken that piece of paper they were going to make me sign and torn it apart in front of them and then turned the tied about how DARE they force a woman with fibromialgia and a toddler with bronchitis out in the cold to pick up a child when the bus driver did not do as they said they did because you were home. I would have also kept on ranting at them that they were not the parents, how dare they force you to do what you had to do to get your child and more specifically, if your youngest child, or you, ended up with any medical problems because of the walk, that they – the principal and bus driver – would be responsible for any medical bills incurred and you would expect this to not happen the next time, that your son would be dropped off like usual.
Yah, I’ve had a few rants at schools about their idiotic bus drivers. I live across the street from the bus stop and yet I am still required to go to it to get my kids when my kids just dash right by me and go straight inside. I don’t need to be there!
@Janet
My sons says you should have called CPS accusing the bus driver of kidnapping your son and demanded an investigation. I agree with him. Or lawyer up and sue the school’s ass. Do it now before the time limit expires.
sorry.. I meant “Husband” not “sons.” was listening to him rant. *blush*
I get not basing our lives on fear but come on! That sounds just plain lazy and disinterested in spending time with your child. God forbid we take time out of our schedule to be BOTHERED with our child’s schedule or to like do AN ACTVITY with him or her, change our priorities a bit to just be there should they need it! If someone were to ask me who is more worth my time and energy, some report at work or my kid I don’t think I’d feel too torn! Sometimes I wonder why people have children if they’d always rather be doing something else.
I’m sorry, I just think it’s silly to judge another parent dropping off their child closer to the entrance on a rainy day just because you personally wouldn’t. It’s just a nice thing to do for someone, what’s so wrong with that? When our family had 1 car and my husband had to drop me off at work in the morning it was a lot nicer on a rainy day to get out of the car in front of my work instead of the end of the parking structure. He didn’t think I’d die of pneumonia on the way, it was just a nice gesture. Sometimes it seems we put too much emphasis on battling the views here and training our children to act and feel independent that we forget how much they learn so much just from how we treat others. Nobody likes to be sensitive or caring or spend time with each other anymore I guess.
Wow……seriously? The only time I walk my kids to or from the bus is in case of a freak torrential downpour. I am the only parent from that area that doesn’t take their child(ren) to the bus stop. The few times I have been all other children had parents dutifully hovering over them. My sons are 7 and 8. I don’t feel the need to hold their hands to go a few houses down. I haven’t taken my children to the bus stop regularly since they first started school, and even then it was only until they got used to the idea. They love the independence and I trust them. They also have a key so they can just come in on their own when they get home. A friend of mine freaked out on me when she found this out. Then she bombarded me with her ‘what ifs’. Her kids (same ages as mine) get on the bus directly across the street from her house, yet she refuses to let them get on or off alone. I remember having an amazing amount of independence as a child and I refuse to rob my children of the pride I felt because it’s now socially unacceptable to cut the umbilical cord until your child has graduated college. I have trained my sons on what to do if someone was to try to take them and so on. They go out and play for hours unsupervised. They know to stay within calling distance the same as I did as a child. I love this blog. I get so many evil looks and have lost quite a few ‘friends’ due to my choice of parenting. It’s nice to finally see people that agree with me that keeping our kids too sheltered and coddled is only going to lead to many more issues once they get older; from extreme rebellion to parent/child codependency. I’m sorry but I don’t want my 30 year old child living in my house. I personally believe that freedom and trust now help them become well rounded, happy, independent adults. It worked for my mom. I turned out great 🙂
I’m a senior in high school, and I’m STILL not allowed off the bus until my mother arrives. A year from now I’ll be in college, most likely in another state, living on my own and walking daily across campus by myself, but school policy states that I am not mature enough to walk a mile home.
My sister lives in a tiny rural town in a very cold climate, and the bus drops her kids off AT HER DRIVEWAY. All they have to do is get off the bus and walk up the driveway – but she has to be down at the bottom of the driveway, in all weather, or she gets “in trouble” with school. No matter that when her oldest started kindergarten, her youngest was under a year old – get that baby dressed for the cold/rain/snow and get yourself down to the bottom of that driveway!!!!
Even though about 90% of the kids who attend our neighborhood school are “walkers,” I’m one of the few parents who doesn’t escort my son home….. and I’m pretty sure the Helicopter Moms have discussed what a crappy mother I am, because when I am there at 3 to pick him up (for an appt or something) they give me sideways looks and don’t talk to me. Sheesh.