BREAKTHROUGH!
Instead of us Free-Rangers agreeing amongst ourselves that it should be up us to decide what age we want to let our kids walk and play outside unsupervised, now an entire state has gone Free-Range!
I realize it will be hard to read the poster here (I’m having trouble myself), but here’s the best of the best advice:
Oregon tttiaezryz
has no legal minimum age requirement for children traveling to school on their own.How can I know when my child is ready to travel to school alone?
Think about your unique child — can your child:
*Pay attention?
*Remember and follow rules?
*Make good decisions?
*Feel comfortable on their own?
Some kids maybe ready at a younger age or later than their peers. As parents, you know your child best, so use your parental judgment.
This sounds like simple common sense — not to mention exactly how parents have made their decisions throughout the ages. But as we all know, there has been a lot of social and legal interference on this front. Now Oregon is fighting back!
And beyond simply recognizing that parents know better than busybodies what their kids are capable of, Oregon goes even further and ENCOURAGES more childhood independence:
By walking to school, kids learn valuable life-long skills. They arrive to school more prepared to learn, discover their neighborhoods and gain needed independence and confidence.
I cannot believe how wonderful Oregon is on this issue. Kudos to the Oregon Dept. of Transportation and, I’m guessing, Shane MacRhodes, of Eugene/Springfield’s Safe Routes to Schools, an upbeat and unstoppable activist on this front. Remember: Proactive citizens can change the world!
Or at least the walk to school. – L
.
48 Comments
Oregon’s policy guidelines for walking to school all make perfect sense. As a grandparent/substitute teacher in Lake Oswego Oregon I still am surprised at how many parents still walk their kids to school in a low traffic, no crime community like LO. I do know the safe routes to school and the week promoting bike “school buses” (kids riding or walking together is heavily promoted here.
Hooray for common sense!
As an Oregonian, I say that ODOT deserves a medal for its awesomeness, but it doesn’t represent our state laws or how they could potentially be enforced.
Case in point: Our public library has a written policy indicating that all children ages under 10 must be within their parent or guardian’s line of vision at all times. If a child is left “unattended” for longer than 5 minutes, they will call the police.
To justify this bat-craziness, they cite Oregon Revised Statue 163.545: Child Neglect in the Second Degree– “A person having custody or control of a child under 10 years of age commits the crime of child neglect in the second degree if, with criminal negligence, the person leave the child unattended in or at any place for such a period of time which may be likely to endanger the health or welfare of such child.”
“Child neglect in the second degree is a Class A misdemeanor.”
Never mind that I *endanger* my children the most by putting them in the car and driving there in the first place!
The law is so vaguely written and interpreted so subjectively and arbitrarily with a rather–ahem!–*free-range* definition of “endangerment” . . . . that our library has declared it dangerous and call-the-police-worthy to have your child reading in a corner out of sight for more than 5 minutes.
Kudos to ODOT! Now let’s get the rest of the state on board by revising that statute!
LGB, the difference between a library and a school is that the school accepts custody and responsibility for your children, and the library doesn’t. Too many parents assume that a library is an inherently safe place, and drop their kids off whether they need supervision or not. They’re not worried about the kids who are mature enough to be self-supervising.
“Too many parents assume that a library is an inherently safe place, and drop their kids off whether they need supervision or not. They’re not worried about the kids who are mature enough to be self-supervising.”
Whatever the reason, the outcome of such policies is to make children’s departments of libraries virtually unused, except by stay-at-home moms of preschoolers, and beyond that nothing but short drop-by visits by middle-class parents to pick up a book or two once a week. Low-income kids whose parents don’t have that kind of free time end up unable to benefit from the library at all.
If a 10-year-old can’t use the library unattended, who’s the children’s section meant for? My library has similar signs (though they say 8, not 10), and ironically, they also prevent kids older than 12 from using the kids’ section. I once saw the children’s librarian stop a polite, well-spoken 5th-grader from using an (unused) computer station to research a school project, because at her age she’s only allowed to use the young-adults section! By the way, apart from me and my son, she was the only patron there.
If I were a librarian, I’d pay a little more attention to the fact that policies like these are just helping make libraries look less and less worth funding.
OUTSTANDING!
Lenore, you see what you did? Just remember stuff like this when you get bombarded with emails from fear crazed helicopter parents. Perhaps you didn’t do it directly. However, you started something big that’s taking the world by storm!
Too many parents assume that a library is an inherently safe place…
Because it IS. Librarians still have the authority to tell kids to stop running or to make less noise or to treat books and computers more carefully.
“Because it IS. Librarians still have the authority to tell kids to stop running or to make less noise or to treat books and computers more carefully.”
You live in the suburbs, don’t you?
“Whatever the reason, the outcome of such policies is to make children’s departments of libraries virtually unused, except by stay-at-home moms of preschoolers, and beyond that nothing but short drop-by visits by middle-class parents to pick up a book or two once a week. Low-income kids whose parents don’t have that kind of free time end up unable to benefit from the library at all.”
This is not the effect I have observed. The local library has programs where they do allow children to be left “unattended” (i.e., parents are in the building, but not physically adjacent to the kids). But there are also times when there is literally no staff in the children’s section.
“This is not the effect I have observed.” Well, it is what I’ve observed. And I’m guessing that as a stay-at-home mom of a 4-year-old, I probably observe the library more than you do.
Anyway, what my siblings and I did – spend hours and hours at the library, especially during summer vacation – is now forbidden. Are we sure that’s a change we believe in?
@LGB, Not sure where in OR you are, but I live in Portland, and the Multnomah County Library rules are that a kid can be alone in the library from age 7 and up… Assuming they follow rules and are well-behaved, since i assume on a case-by-case basis a librarian might have a word with a parent about a misbehaving kid. But both my kids have been dropped off alone at the library staring at age 7, and both were proud of their independence.
And if you don’t encourage your kids to walk to school how will they learn crucial skills like going through trash looking for girlie magazines…….
Mim I’m in Washington county and there is a similar policy of under 8 can’t be out of sight. I’ve been to several libraries in several towns and by and large the children’s section is empty.
This poster is great but leaves parents open to prosecution because of our vague laws. If little Johnny falls off his bike and breaks his arm, mom and dad just earned a visit from cps and a trip to jail for booking!
This is fabulous, Lenore! However, being a bit naughty, but I’m not sure the world as such needs changing. We still let our kids walk to school down here, or catch the public bus etc….although, in my case, the lazy little hooas sometimes need forcing :-).
As to libraries being a safe place, I was horrified to find a stupid notice banning adults from the toilets in the children’s section of the local library to ‘keep our children safe’. I ignored it completely, as I needed to ‘go’, and will carry on ignoring it. It turned out, too, when I complained, that there is actually no issue with children’s safety as such – the issue was teenagers vandalising the loos. Which should have been the way the notice read, not some airy fairy nonsense suggesting perverts are hanging around in the loos.
“And I’m guessing that as a stay-at-home mom of a 4-year-old, I probably observe the library more than you do.”
Is this a competition? Because if it is I’m claiming that as a stay at home homeschooling mom of four kids ranging from 10 to nineteen I’ve spent more time in the (Salem, Oregon) children’s section than most. Depending on the time of day and whether school is in session the library is always packed with kids and parents. The rule is that seven and under needs a parent present and they’ve always been fairly lenient with “present.” As long as I was also in the children’s section we were good. From seven to ten they just need an adult in the building.
Those rules against unattended adults in the children’s section? They’re there to keep the adults from hogging the cozy chairs that are meant for the kids. And to make it easier for the librarians to kick out adults who for various reasons don’t belong there.
Libraries are just as safe as any other public building, no more and no less. I hope the free range movement does bring back more places children can be unaccompanied, the library included.
Even though it is exceedingly rare, the library branch we frequent did have a terrible thing occur several years ago, in which a man sexually assaulted a young boy in the restroom. Now children cannot go into the restroom alone. 🙁
I kind of wish we had paid RR attendants in public places, like I saw years ago in Europe.
To add to the library discussion. . . ours recently raised the age kids can be left alone from 10 to 12, because the lawyers wanted them to be in line with other cities. A program my son used to go to as dropoff now requires a parent to be with him. And definitely, in our town, the library is mostly for the preschool set. Don’t they realize that after a certain point, not only do we not need to supervise their every activity but maybe we don’t even want to? Why should I give up two hours on a Saturday, sitting in the library waiting, so my son can use a 3D printing program? Isn’t it okay for us to have separate interests?
On the other hand, I did recently leave my homeschooled 9-year-old in the cafe area of our grocery store to have a snack while I shopped, and all I got from the people around us were smiles.
Age of consent and other laws that require counting birthdays are merely an administrative convenience, not an expression of wisdom.
“it is what I’ve observed. And I’m guessing that as a stay-at-home mom of a 4-year-old, I probably observe the library more than you do.”
I’ll take that bet, although my child will be legally buying alcohol soon, and I’ve cut back on visits now that I can browse for Kindle books without having to go to the library. In our library, they have different sections… there’s the “children’s” section, the “young adult” section, and yet another “younger adult” section, besides the “general” section, plus themed areas… there’s an area for “science-fiction and fantasy”, for example. Now, since they insist on putting most of the videogames in the “young adult” section, I am there rather a lot despite because, well, not a particularly “young” adult. And most of the Nintendo games are in the “younger adult” section. And both sections are adjacent to the part of the library where they keep the DVDs of popular movies and TV shows.
So, yeah. I’ve had occasion to see how active the library is with the youngsters. It’s plenty busy.
I did have occasion to wander into the children’s section a while back. While MY offspring unit is applying to graduate schools, my niece, who came to visit recently, is more in the “Dr. Seuss” demographic. I only have one Dr. Seuss book in my home (“The Lorax”) and grandma has my daughter’s old copy of “One Fish, Two Fish”, I wanted “The Sneetches”, and either “If I Ran the Zoo” or “If I Ran the Circus”, and my daughter wanted “The Butter Battle Book”. So we borrowed them from the library.
“Mim I’m in Washington county and there is a similar policy of under 8 can’t be out of sight. I’ve been to several libraries in several towns and by and large the children’s section is empty”
I’m ALSO in Washington County, and it makes a BIG difference when you go. Parents with small children tend to show up on weekends, because that’s when the library has programs for small children. In the summer, when the summer reading program is running, the YA sections are quite busy (but… they’re also not “children’s section”… except for what’s actually stocked on the shelves, those sections look like any other part of the library. The “children’s” section, which is segregated from the rest of the library, has short shelves because the target audience for these books tops out at about 6.
Wow!
On the library topic– library rules vary a lot depending on the librarian in charge, and often rules about little kids are more for peace and quiet than for safety. My town library in CT is great; little kids wandering everywhere. The next town over, though, is run by a very curmudgeonly director, and is a very unpleasant place for kids.
While there are instances where very young children should not be left at a library, it does not seem reasonable to summon the policein all situations where a child was left out of sight for 5 minutes.
“it does not seem reasonable to summon the policein all situations where a child was left out of sight for 5 minutes.”
Care to wager on whether or not that’s what actually happens?
This will hopefully stop the oh no it is a kid without a parent crazy folks who call the cops to save kids who aren’t in trouble.
Part of me is bemused this common sense stuff needs to be stated, but in a world so protected by little laws many do need that assurance and reminder of what good maturity indicators are.
Yay!
“This will hopefully stop the oh no it is a kid without a parent crazy folks who call the cops to save kids who aren’t in trouble.”
See, in the olden days, an adult who saw and unaccompanied child would ask the child where the parents were and whether they needed help. But, since adults are not allowed to talk to children any more, the only way to show concern is to call the authorities.
I’m an Oregonian and this totally sounds like something we would say. We’re pretty dang independent thinkers. I was herding cows on my own and driving at age 8 and so were a lot of my friends.
I’m wondering if these types of rules are about safety or sanity. Lots of kids aren’t taught basic manners or how to behave decently and no one (a librarian or other parent, etc) feels it’s okay to admonish someone’s snowflake to be quiet or be kind to the books. It’s easier sometimes just to ban the kids which is sad overall but a foreseeable consequence of stupid parenting. I’m thrilled to see nice kids out and about independently and I cringe when the local elementary school lets out and the parents use the library for free daycare for their loud, disrespectful offspring. And yes, my little town has afterschool care that’s free and a great option but the library is easier and just the tiniest bit closer. I’ve talked with the librarians and they have their hands tied. It’s a public institution and again, it’s a small town so you don’t want to get in hot water with the local kids’ parents over enforcing rules and implying their kid is less than wonderful.
Care to wager on whether or not that’s what actually happens?
I am sure it doesn’t, but the fact that they have an established policy is bad enough and if it happened to me, I honestly wouldn’t care his many other times it happened. I also find it disturbing that some policy maker thinks that briefly letting your child leave your sight falls under criminal behavior.
I have no idea why you are defending this, but if I had to guess, it your typical concern trolling.
@James Pollock
“See, in the olden days, an adult who saw and unaccompanied child would ask the child where the parents were and whether they needed help”
Olden days? When was this? I’m in the same general age group as Lenore and probably yourself (since you have a grad-school-aged daughter) and from the age of 7-8 on up I walked the sidewalks of the suburb we lived in and later small towns (we moved a couple times) to playgrounds, libraries, friends’ houses, without anyone stopping me or wondering if I might be in distress. Because going places without parents or other adults, on foot or by bicycle, was just normal for kids.
My local library is great. I did call and ask, a few years ago, about dropping off kids while I did appointments. No issues at all. My kids were welcome, and I made sure they knew my phone number so they could call me if needed.
My youngest kid attends a public school/homeschool partnership. Last year, he was 5th grade. He couldn’t get a bus pass (they start at 6th grade.) So I said fine, I’ll just give him the money so he can ride the bus over the bi-pass and two stops to the library. Nope, the lady at the desk did NOT like that. Only if his older brother (8th grade) was along. Yeah….whatever. There were a few times I couldn’t be two places at once, and he rode the bus. This year he has the bus pass.
But…the younger kids, grades k to 5, when they are done with class, they have to wait inside for parents to pick them up. They CANNOT wait outside at the curb. The parents (often with little kids) need to try to find a limited parking spot and then drag the toddler siblings inside to pick up the kids up to 5th grade. Totally stupid.
The rest of the district is much better. If you live within 1 mile, you walk to and from school, k to 5, 2 miles for 6-12. No parents needed. Lots, of course, still do, but a good number of little kids walk home. On their own. Not sure why homeschoolers are so different….supposed to be more “sheltered” I guess. Not my kids. They use tools and walk and ride their bikes.
” I’m in the same general age group as Lenore and probably yourself (since you have a grad-school-aged daughter) and from the age of 7-8 on up I walked the sidewalks of the suburb we lived in and later small towns (we moved a couple times) to playgrounds, libraries, friends’ houses, without anyone stopping me or wondering if I might be in distress. Because going places without parents or other adults, on foot or by bicycle, was just normal for kids.”
I hate to tell you this, but the invention of the busybody is not new. If you were not interrogated from time to time, it’s probably because you looked like you knew where you were and where you were going. The kid who looked lost is the one who got questioned. Or, of course, the ones who looked guilty of something-or-other. (If your hobby is climbing on top of things that are Not Meant To Be Climbed Upon, you get some of this.)
“I am sure it doesn’t, but the fact that they have an established policy is bad enough and if it happened to me, I honestly wouldn’t care his many other times it happened.”
Seriously? If it happened to you (not sure if you’re intended to be in the role of the child or the parent in the scenario) it means that either you or your child were so unruly that summoning law enforcement was the preferable choice to leaving you alone. I’m not sure why, as a neutral third-party, you think I should be on your side in that case.
“I also find it disturbing that some policy maker thinks that briefly letting your child leave your sight falls under criminal behavior.”
You haven’t established that any do.
“I have no idea why you are defending this, but if I had to guess, it your typical concern trolling.”
Huh? Are you projecting, here?
It’s not that hard to figure out.
Some people use libraries (or toy stores) as free daycare for children who should not be left unsupervised by a person responsible for their care. The people who operate libraries (or toy stores) should not be placed in a position where they are required to BECOME the person responsible for the care of a child who is not yet ready to be unsupervised.
Leaving a child who is not yet ready to be unsupervised, unsupervised, is, well… it’s child neglect (possibly not severe in nature, if it’s brief, and the environment is not particularly hazardous, but that IS what it is.)
Please review the final sentence of my comment from 3.25pm on 10/11.
@James Pollock
“I hate to tell you this,”
I don’t believe you.
” but the invention of the busybody is not new.”
Well, thank you, Captain Obvious.
” If you were not interrogated from time to time, it’s probably because you looked like you knew where you were and where you were going.”
Full marks.
” The kid who looked lost is the one who got questioned.”
I was responding to a comment about unaccompanied kids, not lost ones.
“Or, of course, the ones who looked guilty of something-or-other.”
I was responding to a comment about unaccompanied kids, not guilty ones.
Helping the lost or confronting the guilty is not necessarily busibodiness.
” (If your hobby is climbing on top of things that are Not Meant To Be Climbed Upon, you get some of this.)”
Oooookaaaay …
@James Pollock, that’s quite a generalization you’re making. But even if you think it applies to my local library, it is committing overkill by threatening criminal charges for that hypothetical, unsupervised-for-five-minutes 7-year-old.
To paint a picture of this place for you, I left my 8-year-old alone to walk into an adjacent room to inform my husband of our whereabouts. Not 45 seconds later, a librarian came out *holding the hand* of my humiliated daughter and asking me never to leave her alone. It looks like we’ll be in Multnomah County more often!
By the way, I live in the suburbs. ;-), and if my library were NOT an inherently safe place, I wouldn’t even enter it alone. I strongly agree with other commenters saying that these draconian rules discourage grade-schoolers from using libraries.
Also, schools do not accept responsibility for your children while they are en route and off school property.
“To paint a picture of this place for you, I left my 8-year-old alone to walk into an adjacent room to inform my husband of our whereabouts. Not 45 seconds later, a librarian came out *holding the hand* of my humiliated daughter and asking me never to leave her alone.”
And how long did it take before the cops got there? I mean, in Tigard, the library, the City Hall, and police headquarters are (or used to be, anyway) the same exact building, so there the response shouldn’t have taken more than two minutes or so, if you happened to be in that particular library. How long did you have to wait for the law enforcement folks to show up?.
“Also, schools do not accept responsibility for your children while they are en route and off school property.”
Well, sometimes they do. As is the case when, for example, they station “crossing guards” at the street crossings near the school. My daughter’s school re-opened, primarily to offer counseling services, when one of the students was killed the day after the end of the school year, in a plane crash, in a completely different state.
“‘I hate to tell you this,’
I don’t believe you”
That’s your problem, not mine..
“‘ but the invention of the busybody is not new.’
Well, thank you, Captain Obvious”
You’re welcome, private Needs-the-Obvious-Pointed-Out.
@Rebel Mom, I know it’s frustrating to see unaccompanied children misbehave but often these children misbehave with their parents present as well. Children have to practice these things and some learn faster than others. My children are the type that sometimes misbehave outrageously, much to my exasperation, embarrassment, and extreme consternation, and they get A LOT of discipline and guidance with varying degrees of success. They’ve actually improved when given some opportunities to be responsible for themselves. Their independence is still very much a case by case decision.
I wonder if the whole reason people think they can’t correct another child’s behavior, even if they’re the person in charge, is because they haven’t had enough practice themselves. They presumably would have no problem telling an adult to keep it down, or not horseplay. If we don’t tolerate children alone even when they’re not perfectly behaved, we will be dealing with ADULTS that don’t know how to behave in public either. Your librarians need to suck it up and take charge, and your city council and police force need to support them as needed. My sympathies to you and your town!
“I wonder if the whole reason people think they can’t correct another child’s behavior, even if they’re the person in charge, is because they haven’t had enough practice themselves”
Possible. But my guess would be fear of one of those angry “how dare you correct my child’s misbehavior!!!” parents.
@James:
Sure, it’s awkward. But, wouldn’t someone in charge correct an adults behavior? You just do it the same way. Behave or you must leave. Whoever hires the librarian needs to back up the policy and make it clear to the community. Someone gets snotty then that’s when other parents present can speak up in support. It’s a little delicate to ask a child to leave but one can bar their unaccompanied entrance if they are a repeat offender. It’s even easier to correct a child’s behavior if your job isn’t on the line, lol. I do it occasionally but I’m a former teacher so I guess it comes naturally.
I remember when my eldest was four years old and was being a little turd in the church nursery. One of the parents told me what he did and then concluded with “I didn’t want to say anything to him.” I responded, “Why not? He’s four, you’re an adult and his behavior needed correcting. For heavens sake, tell him next time to cut it out!”
“Whoever hires the librarian needs to back up the policy and make it clear to the community.”
That’s what they did, but, indirectly, because librarians, contrary to their popular image (as interacting with library patrons solely by “shh”ing them, are often conflict-averse. Policemen, on the other hand, are quite used to handling conflict, whether directly from the miscreant, or from the miscreant’s (hypothetical) angry “how DARE you correct my misbehaving child!!!” parent. So the librarian posts a sign that says they’ll call law enforcement… which cuts down on unsupervised children, which cuts down on misbehaving children, which was their goal.
Let me give you another example. I volunteer for an organization. They have a policy that volunteers must be 16 years old. My daughter has been a volunteer with this organization since she was 7. I know of several other parents whose kids volunteer and are not 16. I also know why the policy is set the way it is… they used to get “volunteers” from a local high school that had mandatory “community involvement” volunteer hour requirements. They’d get 50 “volunteers”, who would spend their day talking to each other, directly or on their phones, instead of the job they were supposed to be doing. Setting the policy the way they did allowed them to politely decline the “volunteers” and stick with volunteers who would, you know, actually volunteer if it weren’t a school requirement.
Now… maybe it’s just me, and I’m the only one who can turn rock-solid rules into suggestions and guidelines… I do tend to assume that this can be made to happen. and it often turns out that it can.
This is off topic somewhat, but relates to the idea of adults not having enough contact with children to be able to tell them off….or do anything with them. I was wasting some tI’m on YouTube last night and stumbled across the 911 call of the chap who found this gorgeous little 18 month old (Rainn Peterson ) after she’doesn’t been missing for a couple of days. Kudos to him, but what made me wonder if America has gone mad is when he asked permission to pick her up.
If she looked unconscious and injured, well, yeah, but wouldn’t you naturally pick up a crying toddler? Felt very sorry for him, that he felt that need to ask first.
@hineata: last night I saw an episode of a sitcom here in America called Blackish that had a funny take on a black man encountering a lost white child in an elevator and him freaking out, leaving her in the elevator, lest he be accused of something inappropriate.
@james: I guess I was thinking of police involvement to handle the parents who got angry, not a child existing somewhere unaccompanied. But I know what you mean; you’d think people would use their own judgment in case by case but instead go all zero tolerance more often than they should.
Am I odd then that I *do* correct other people’s “unsupervised” children in public?
The typical way I do this is to merely ask them a question (or an appropriate variation thereof): “Would your mom be happy to see you acting like that in public?”
If teens and preteens are cursing in public (especially around my kids when they were younger): “Would you speak like that if your grandma was sitting here to hear it?”
Hasn’t gotten me into trouble….yet 😉 And the kids, most of the time, know that they are wrong, mumble an apology, and adjust their behavior.
I walked alone to kindergarten, five or six blocks including one busy street (which had no crossing guard). The next year, starting in first grade, it was close to a mile, a dozen blocks, across two busy streets, again with no crossing guard. This on the north side of Milwaukee, an urban environment, not suburban, with busy streets, taverns, etc. I had a group of friends two or three years older than I was and we would go exploring behind old factories, etc. I rode my bike all over the neighborhood, unaccompanied, at the age of 7. All this was apparently not considered unusual in the 1950s. Today parents would be arrested for letting their kids do this.
In fact my parents expected me to go out by myself, meet friends, play with them in empty lots, etc. It was considered an imposition if I “hung around the house.” My mother assumed–even though I was an only child–that I would make friends on my own and leave her in peace. No organized sports were ever contemplated; the local kids organized their own softball games on an empty lot in the neighborhood, after digging out the bases. I never saw an adult involved in any local children’s activities. All of this changed when we moved to an outlying suburb when I was 10; then everything was mediated by automobiles and the direction of parents.
Really? Because my friend from Oregon told me that her children aren’t allowed in the yard without supervision before age TEN. We are in Germany now which is great for free range but I disagree with the school system and with homeschooling banned, we have to pretty much leave.