This is a lovely piece about Free-Range Kids from the CBC (Canada’s public broadcasting station). Couldn’t have said it better myself:
Note: Your child does not HAVE to look like my son Izzy to go Free-Range…even though the kid the CBC found sure does!
31 Comments
Great segment!
Nice to see many of these stories pulled together in a realistic way, with no fear mongering
Awesome! I’m really glad to see this issue being taken more seriously, logically, and reasonably. Let’s go back to the future.
Great segment Lenore! Now I realize I’m gonna get some flack from some of the ladies on this board BUT I truly believe that it’s probably more dangerous for an adult female to take a New York subway by herself than it is for a 9-year-old boy. Let me say that again, it is probably more dangerous for an adult female to take a New Your subway by herself than it is for a 9-year-old boy. NOT because the boy is stronger and more responsible than the adult female is. But simply because a much higher percentage of men have a strong heterosexual interest in adult females than they do young pre-pubescent boys; therefore, the adult female is gonna me more of a target. She’s more apt to be a target of groping and sexual advances than is the young boy. Particularly if she looks like an NFL cheerleader!
Now I’m certainly not advocating that women should not take the subway by themselves or that they need to have a male with them if they do because women take the subway by themselves quite frequently without incident. I’m just saying that she’s more likely than the boy is to be a target of crime. Not only because she may draw the lust of some uncontrollable and perverted men but as an adult she will likely have more money on her than a kid would which would make her more likely a victim of robbery. Of course, the same would be true with an adult male.
Wow! If only American viewers saw segments like this! American news outlets (and perhaps Canadian too with rare exceptions) are addicted to amplifying tragic stories into national angst. Thanks as always, LS, for your part in spreading the word.
“Boy boils egg!” Right? I love this!
This was a great story – presented fairly it appears and even seems to be pro free range!
Not enough Canada in this Canadian story though!
Great point for thought regarding the government’s continued over-reach into family lives. The thing is, once people notice this over-reach, they will then see how it extends into other aspects of our lives as well. I hope.
John, dude, I think your comment depends on the woman.
I put out a pretty good “don’t f*ck with me” vibe and while that may present it’s own problems, getting harassed on public transit isn’t one.
@John,
Nice intro to try drawing flack… I’m pretty sure I and several other women on this forum have pointed out similar. That is why this is a civil rights issue, not so terribly different from many others.
It’s pretty hypocritical isn’t it that our society abhors the measures Saudi Arabia uses in an attempt to protect women (burka, requiring male escorts, beatings for showing skin, etc)… but then turns around and demands that our own children be locked away “for their own good.” Don’t share pictures of your kids (a pervert might like them), don’t let them off the school bus with out a pre-authorized adult to pick them up (a pervert might grab them while they walk up their drive way), and heaven forbid if a kid gets caught without an authorized adult… lock up the kid at CPS (a pervert could have grabbed them instead of the police). … It’s all for their own good don’t you see…
@havva
I agree – our freedoms as citizens of this civilized west are illusion. We see our society as superior to those “oppressive” regimes. The only true difference is they are aware of their oppression, it’s physical and overt, while in the west we continue to trade person freedom for the privilege of over consumption, wastefulness and the facade of security.
*^ personal freedom. Sigh.
silly fear once again have cps saving a bunch kids who don’t need it. kids wake before mom try to make soup. and as everyone does sometimes soup was spilt on the baby. but mom called the doc and tended to him. in a couple days the baby was going see the doc but daycare saw injury and called cps to save the day. mom annoyed at cps offers of help for an accident tells them get lost. oldest kid annoyed with mom over chores run away. mom calls cops to round the runaway up. younger kids while mom is showering go look for sister. cps mad about being told get lost grab all the kids. this is what happens when people insist on helping without being sure it is needed!
Lenore, your son Izzy has grown into such a confident, well spoken young man. You should be so proud to hold the “Worst Mom” trophy.
My youngest is 9, the same age as Izzy was when he first went by himself. We forget sometimes how if must feel to a kid to accomplish something themselves for the first time. Or how it must feel when they are told that it’s too dangerous and denied the chance to prove themselves capable. They can handle so much more than we allow.
I wonder why this CBC story focuses exclusively on things that happened in American cities. Although perhaps it’s because it’s less of an issue in Canada – or I think it is, anyway. Not to rain on your parade, Lenore, but having lived in Toronto, I’ve always been a bit mystified that you got the reaction you did for letting a 9-year-old ride the subway. I believe lots of kids in Toronto take public transit alone at that age.
Great Video Lenore!
Would it be good to have a link to it on your home page?
Maybe right at the top?
The only thing that bothered me was the little girl talking about playing on scaffolding and falling on her face.
Instead of saying she now knows to “be careful” when playing on scaffolding, she says she won’t play on scaffolding because she will fall on her face. That’s like saying, I fell off the horse, so now I know never to ride a horse.
@Havva…….Havva, I’m not trying to draw any flack. I’m just pointing out something where I think we need to use a little common sense about.
@Tamara…..yes Tamara, I agree. As far as the danger is concerned it does depend upon the woman and how capable she is of defending herself. I’m just saying that an adult woman is much more likely to be a target of sexual harassment and theft than a young boy is UNLESS, of course, the boy is wearing a pair of $180.00 sneakers!
You know, the most bizarre case of free range parenting that I’ve come across was back in 1990 when I used to skydive. There was a popular jump pilot who owned and piloted a King Air aircraft and who was invited to the various drop zones for big skydiving events. His aircraft could climb to altitude very fast and carry lots of jumpers. Well anyways, he taught his 10-year-old son to skydive and he would bring him along! Now the rules say that you have to be 18-years-old OR 16 with parental consent in order to skydive but he would let his 10-year-old kid do it anyways. After all it was his airplane. But the kid was a literal sky-god and maneuvered quite well in free fall. He was also excellent under parachute and controlled it very well. Basically he was a better skydiver than most adult skydivers were! It was kind of cute because the kid was somewhat of a screw off and rumor has it that during one of his jumps when his dad was videotaping him in free fall (his father was an avid skydiver as well), when the kid went to deploy his chute, instead of letting the pilot chute go like you’re supposed to, he hung on to it and waved it up and down for the camera. So he ended up getting a hook type malfunction (when the pilot chute or regular parachute wraps around your leg) forcing him to release his main chute and deploy his reserve.
Needless to say, his dad grounded him for quite some time after he pulled that stunt! I remember seeing his dad cuss him out royally for a sloppy pack job and made him unpack his chute and NEATLY repack it. So his dad really did keep after him and I must say that the kid did handle that malfunction exactly like he was supposed to!
Today, this kid is a 35-year-old man with thousands and thousand of jumps behind him and runs a Drop Zone (parachute center) somewhere in Georgia where he is a skydiving instructor.
Regardless of this kid’s success skydiving as a youngster, I think that’s just a tad bit too free range for me! No way would I ever allow my kid to skydive, especially if he was only 10! But I guess this proves what kids are capable of doing.
John said:
“Regardless of this kid’s success skydiving as a youngster, I think that’s just a tad bit too free range for me! No way would I ever allow my kid to skydive, especially if he was only 10! But I guess this proves what kids are capable of doing.”
Free Range parents know what their kids can and can’t do. Are you a parent? Are your kids younger than 9 or 10? I am not a fan of skydiving, but I suspect that good skydivers have less chance of dying while skydiving than ordinary people staring at their cell phones and walking down the street.
John
You make it sound as though the average woman is incapable of defending herself by default. More at risk than a child? More helpless, then? Your view of women is interesting.
Perhaps “free range women” is next?
“You make it sound as though the average woman is incapable of defending herself by default.”
He didn’t say anything that could be interpreted like that.
He said the risk of being targeted for a crime is higher. and it is. It’s still a very small number, but it’s higher than the even smaller risk that a child takes.
James:
And interpret I did, since his – and your – opinions are not truly fact. It’s a broad stroke of generalization.
As is my opinion that you are wrong.
“his — and your — opinions are not truly fact. It’s a broad stroke of generalization. As is my opinion that you are wrong.”
Have it your way. The risk is NOT very small.
Lenore I adore you so much I wanna give you hug and feed you! Thank you for being so brave!
@Tamara…….Tamara, goodness gracious, James is absolutely right! Go back and read what I wrote. No way did I ever say that the average woman was incapable of defending herself. The truth is, some women are capable and some women are not capable. Same could be said for a man under attack. I think you’re completely missing my point.
So let me spell this out again and try to make it as simple as I can, since a high percentage of men, probably 99 out of 100, have absolutely no sexual interest in young boys and since a high percentage of men, probably 95 out of 100, do have a sexual interest in adult women, if 4 or 5 of those 95 men lack impulse control, a women is much more likely than a young boy to be a victim of a sexual assault on a subway. That’s pretty significant if you ask me. But now if 1 out of 100 men have a sexual interest in young boys, probably far less than that lack impulse control to the point where they assault a child. Doesn’t leave very many so therefore the adult woman is more of a target and must be more vigilant. Another factor is that an adult is likely to be carrying more money than is a child and that right there makes them a preferred target of muggings and robbery. So with all this said, the adult women is in more danger taking the subway by herself than is a young boy and this has nothing to do with her being capable or incapable of defending herself. But the more attackers you have, the higher the risk AND THEREIN LIES THE DANGER.
Why is all this so hard to understand?
This is such a great video, will be sharing it with friends. Not giving our children their independence stops them from feeling capable to live in the real world, as though the world is something they need protecting from. I had lots of freedom as a children and yes, scary things happened somethings but I learnt how to handle it. Children aren’t stupid and helpless as some grown-ups seem to think.
John, you said
it’s probably more dangerous for an adult female to take a New York subway by herself than it is for a 9-year-old boy.
That is exactly saying that the average female is helpless – or at least as helpless as an 8 year old boy ….unless she happens to know how to defend herself
Then you said
But simply because a much higher percentage of men have a strong heterosexual interest in adult females than they do young pre-pubescent boys;
She’s more apt to be a target of groping and sexual advances than is the young boy. Particularly if she looks like an NFL cheerleader!
Which also pissed me off because you are equating these crimes – groping in public, etc, with sex when we all should understand that that kind of behaviour has to do with a search for power and control, not a positive desire for sex..Particularly if she looks like an NFL cheerleader. Nice victim blaming.
Regardless, I’m more pissed at myself for being drawn into this argument which has little to do with the OP
Speaking as an adult heterosexual male person (white, too), I have approximately the same interest in groping an adult female who does not wish to be so touched as I do of groping a young boy, namely, zero.
Being intelligent, I do not assume that women, when alone, are helpless. But the vast majority of criminals are stupid.
Remember when women were organizing to “take back the night”? It was an 80s and 90s thing, I believe. The idea was women should be able to go out at night, even alone, and not assume they would be attacked. Too many women were staying in their homes after dark for fear of predators.
When I realized, as a parent, about 10 years ago, that the entire continent had gone crazy and it was all of a sudden assumed that any child our of their parent or caregiver’s sight for a moment, especially outdoors, would automatically become a victim or come to harm….
Well. I thought about starting a movement. I was going to call it “take back the day.” And then Lenore started the FRK thing, and put the book out there, and I celebrated, because she has done such a WONDERFUL job being the spokesperson for this urgency to reclaim sanity, childhood, and parental rights to choose how to nurture children.
I often say that I’m just as likely to come to harm as a victim, in broad daylight, as any child. And yet I go out into the world all the time.
There is a similar concept playground to the one in London in ithaca, ny. It is called anarchy playground and it is absolutely amazing. Even my 14 yo son had a blast when we visited it a few weeks ago. We’ve been told that the playground has been around for years and is absolutely free.
Kids aren’t in real danger, the whole pedophiles in the dark is a myth. Pedophiles are good people who mean no harm.
@Tamara…..You’ve completely spinned what I said to be a fabricated offense against women. If what I said pissed you off, that is entirely YOUR fault and not mine nor anybody else’s. I really could care less because I stand by what I say. Have a great day.
Haha, John: That’s exactly what I thought when I first saw that Today Show fragment: ‘If *I* were some pervert, I’d be far more interested in the other Skenazy on that couch…!’ – for all the reasons you mentioned 🙂
@Tamara: Eh… You are reading faaaar more into Johns comment than he meant. And you’re focusing on the reaction of the intended victims, while he was theorizing about who the intended victims would *more* ( < relative, not absolute) likely be – regardless of the success of the molester/mugger/whatever.
Thank you Papilio! 😉 Exactly.