"You Are a Horrible Mother" — Letter

We love you, Lenore.

HAHAHA! MattB5, that was hysterical.

“Isn’t your childs life more important then your cell phone.”

it’s CHILD’S. possessive.

sheesh. some people 😉

<3 you!

What a troll. It’s a pity her children never had their umbilical cords cut.

I think I might have an internet crush on MattB5 at the moment.

Also, I kind of feel sorry for the letter writer. It must be awful, to be so paralyzed by irrational fear that feels like she needs to lash out at a complete stranger for NOT being so paralyzed and frightened.

I, too, am interested in what Izzy has to say.

WOW, what a heartless hypocrite. When I went to high school I road two different city buses, it took about an hour to get to school, the second bus ride was about 40 minutes from were I got on, to my school. Even then I was amazed at the grade school kids, one that looked about 6, who got on that bus well before I did, and road it to the stop at their school, just before my school stop. So was the school and the parents uncaring, sending their kids to school at 6am in the morning alone on a city bus? I really see no difference of that from the subway. So I wonder, in my day, (I’m not That old) me and my friends used to walk to school alone, ride our bikes around the neighborhood alone, go to the park alone, spend all day roaming in the woods behind the park alone and investigating the stream that ran through it, we didn’t wear helmets or kneepads or kiddie swimmers, we didn’t have cell phones back then and there were no adults constantly nagging over our shoulders.. and we all grew up to be well adjusted adults with all of our limbs intact, so except for the hyper “the sky is falling” media that reports that we are doomed, every 5 seconds, and ir you don’t think you’re doomed then you’re even more devastatingly in ultimate danger, what exactly has changed in our world to make us soooo unable to cope with the day to day rising and falling of the Sun?

This is the thought process of people who write this kind of stuff:

“What a bad mother. Something could happen to her kids. I am a good mother. I would NEVER let my child ride the subway alone; therefore, nothing bad will ever happen to my kids.”

Like Maggie, I also feel sorry for the writer, and her kids.

I was almost finished there, but mom called me down here in the basement and said it was time to get off the computer, wash my hands and come sit down for dinner, she is having some canasta friends over tonight and they need another player………. just kidding. I haven’t lived at home since I moved at GASP 14!!!! with my parents approval.. to go to that school in the city, WHAT were my parents thinking????? A 14yo living with other 14 to 19 year olds in the city, going to a private school????? OH MY

What Laurel said. She has a right to disagree. You do not know what her life has been like. Maybe she miscarried her only child? Maybe she is infertile. Maybe her child was hurt in an accident? Things like that might explain her anger and hurt toward someone like Lenore who takes risks (healthy risks perhaps but still risks) with their kids and who is more laid back about parenting.

I was very uptight and judgemental about parenting when I was infertile and having miscarriages because I thought to myself that they were taking their precious children for granted and I was depressed and jealous.

It took me a long time to get over that even after finally having kids.

Be the better person.

Ten years ago, at the height of my depression subsequent to losing my reproductive equipment, I would probably have thought the same way (though I would have thought it privately, and spelled it better). As Dolly says, I suspect this may be someone with some undisclosed Bad Things going on in her life, either past or current, which cause her to be terrified for her own (real or hoped-for) kids and get all judgy about other people’s parenting.

I won’t disclose here, because I’m kind of ashamed of it, how many times I’ve looked at someone else — someone smoking right in a toddler’s face, say, or yakking away while their baby shrieked dementedly in a stroller, or, once, smacking her school-aged son in the head because she was pissed off that they’d missed their train — and thought, “If I had that person’s baby/toddler/child, I would be a MUCH better parent than s/he is!” I don’t think this tendency is confined to people who have had / are having extreme difficulty in becoming parents, but it’s certainly accentuated by that circumstance.

But, anyway, we love you, Lenore! 🙂

I’m beginning to think the biggest fear is not that something-might-happen-to-a-child-so-we-must-keep-them-safe-at-all-costs, but that should something happen to a child, at least mom/dad will be there with them, so the child won’t be alone, and scared, etc.

Maybe it’s not “I wasn’t there to protect them!” but more along the lines of: “I wasn’t there with them.”

Just ignore the trolls, Lenore. You’re doing a fabulous job and restoring sanity to America, one parent at a time.

How long ago was it that you let your son ride the subway alone? A couple of years now? Really, what kind of mother waits this long to criticize the failures of others. What is wrong with her? I think her kids should be removed from her home for lack of diligence and inappropriate punctuation. : )
Seriously, you are the voice of reason Lenore don’t let one paranoid Mom get you down.

Laura

I agree that it seems like this woman has some serious pain behind these words and I feel for her – but that doesn’t give her the right to tell a complete stranger that she’s a bad mother and her kids should be taken away.

In some ways this goes to the crux of the principles behind free-range parenting – people making irrational judgments about other parents and putting their own irrational fears above the wellbeing of their children. Fact is, lenore’s son is fine. He’s more than fine, he’s happy. She put her own feelings on the line to give him something important that he wanted. Isn’t that textbook good parenting? And isn’t holding your kids hostage to your own needs not so good?

That’s really sad that she felt the need to send that to you,

With that said, I thought of this comic (Language Warning):
http://abstrusegoose.com/312

Lenore, you are obviously doing it right.

Keep it Up!

I guess she missed the part about Izzy making it home safe and sound from this little excursion … 3 years ago. Since last I checked Izzy was still alive, and probably has many more lone subway rides under his belt, clearly he was never in harm’s way.

See most everyone is assuming she is a mother and using that to insult her. She may not even be a mother.

I think Kimelah hit on a point there. I am probably midway on free range versus helicopter parenting. I am very relaxed about some things and super uptight about others so they balance each other out. I also get more relaxed the older my kids get. At first with a high risk pregnancy after years of infertility and then preemies and then food allergies and then asthma, I was fairly uptight and crazy. Now I am mellowing out a lot more.

I also kinda feel like how Kimelah described. I know bad things will happen to my kids and I can’t shelter them from everything. They have to make their own mistakes. I just want to be there for them when they do. So they won’t grow up and blame me for not being there. I had a very there mother, but I still blame her for the few times she wasn’t there. I don’t want my sons to feel that way about me.

Using her logic we should never let children cut their own food until they are 18 because they can hurt with the knife. Ignore the dopes.

What always gets me about these people is the “I wish someone would take your child away, then you’d learn” talk.
When I hear of someone taking risks, whether they are risks I agree with or not, my first thought is ALWAYS for a safe outcome.
While I am not a “the sky is falling” type, occasionally the sky does fall and when it does, it’s no good. I would never wish that on anyone, no matter how many risks they were taking, no matter how much they provoked the sky, no matter how many stones they threw at it. Better their efforts come to some beneficial fruition, like perhaps lifting the sky a little so we can all breathe a little easier than having something horrible happen so that we all have to cower even more.
Lenore – you lifted the sky that day, for all of us. And we all thank you for it – and your son, who was brave enough to ask for his freedom, trusting you were wise enough to grant it.
Just because chicken little cannot see that the sky has been lifted and is not, in fact falling, doesn’t mean that the rest of us are blind. Thanks for all that you do to keep us sane!

You are an amazing person.

Your website gives me hope in humanity.

And hope that I can raise my daughter in Chicago the way that I was raised in Chicago. Riding the CTA to get myself to gymnastics practice across town from where my school was, hanging around my neighborhood from when the sun came out till after it went down.

I met a good friend in my neighborhood (I must have been about 10 or 11) when I saw her climbing a tree on my way home from somewhere with my Dad. I launched myself out of the car, yelling, “I’m going to go meet that girl in the tree.” She and I were quite good friends for the few years that I lived on that street.

This woman’s kid will *never* know how much fun that was.

Hang in there.

This woman would be shocked to learn your son is still alive and well!

If it’s your job to protect your children (by not letting them do anything for themselves apparently) until they are old enough to protect themselves, how do they ever become able to protect themselves? Physically a 18 year old should be able to protect themselves better than a 9 year old just by being bigger but kids don’t just suddenly know how to make smart choices at 18 without being taught and being allowed to practice.

And these arguments always seem to have a tone of somehow we cease being parents when our children turn 18. They give the impression that Natalee Hollaway’s parents should be less devastated than Adam Walsh’s because Hollaway was 18 and Walsh was 6. Loosing a child is devastating to parents whether that child is full grown or an infant.

Personally, I think it comes down to selfishly not wanting to face the guilt and accusations if something happens, no matter how unlikely, to a minor child. Nobody would ever say to the mother of a 20 year old man killed on the subway “I can’t believe you let him ride the subway alone.” It would just be a tragic accident. However, if your 9 year old is killed on the subway, it’s all your fault for letting him go. It’s easier for you to never let your kids out of your sight until you can no longer be held responsible if the worst occurs. Who cares if that means that you’ve made them more vulnerable by failing to teach them how to live — at least you can’t blamed and won’t feel guilty if the worst happens.

I put my boys (7 and 10) on an airplane last week, stayed till they were in the air, and drove home without them. They flew from Ohio to Florida to see their grandparents. My husband and I had a quiet week at home with their little sister, the boys and grandparents had a great trip, and now we’re all back together. My kids have a LOT of freedom in our neighborhood, but flying alone to another state is the most free-range my kids have been! Thanks for the inspiration, Lenore. We are the better for it.

Did I miss something? How do we know this was a woman who wrote Lenore?

I used to be friends with a helicopter parent. She was always commenting that me and my three children were like a mother duck and her three ducklings: it was usually me, then eldest, then son, then youngest FAR behind. I’d look back, make sure she was still there, and then resume walking, and talking with friend.
Friend, however, wouldn’t let her only child (same age as my middle child) walk further than five feet in front of her because, she explained to me, a car might drive out of its driveway and hit her daughter. Or a car might stop, and someone might jump out, and take her daughter! I challenged her on this belief MILDLY and with some humour, but then let it slide as my children ran far far ahead of me, spun around, and yelled at me to hurry up, while she bellowed at her daughter to stop running. Those walks were, um, interesting.

Wow, someone is really late to the party.

Does this person know she left her Rapunzel up in the tower for almost 10 minutes in order to write this?

Mother knows best . . .

Wow! I know you are very confident in your own decisions but sometimes it doesn’t hurt to have other (normal, educated, thoughtful, reasonable) people say it: you are a hero to me! Thanks for vocalizing what I’ve known instinctively but had trouble articulating. Your blog inspires me all the time. Don’t let the turkeys bog you down.

I heard a story recently about a child that was taken from a dad in Seattle while the dad was holding her hand in a crowd. The child was recovered quickly. You know I just have to pray for my kids and do the best I can as a mom but sometimes things happen even when parents are right there. I think more bad things happen to kids from their own parents then strangers anyways. . . .

One of the first things I learned about in parenthood is to never question another parents’ choices about how they parent. That said, reading this letter, can you say “projection!!!” You just have to wonder what’s going on with this person.

Wow! You are very secure Lenore and must have really thick skin.

Apparently some people dont have anything better to do other than complain.

I’m sorry that woman lives with so much fear in her heart. That is a heavy load to carry with you every day. I hope she is able to find some peace.

Dear Letter Writer,

By your definition, a lot of us are horrible mothers–or, in my case, are horrible fathers. We let our kids run around in our yards–not always fenced yards, by the way–without us being outside hovering over their every move. “Horrible fathers” like me allow them–heck, even ENCOURAGE them–to play in the dirt path and we expect other drivers, what few there are (maybe 2 cars all day total, going 10 mph), to deal with this area on that level as opposed to us keeping them off the dirt road at all times.

There are no nanny cams, GPS attachments, or other extraneous sensory devices designed to keep them on our minds 24 hours a day on the off-chance that, God forbid, something happens. We let them cross parking lots without always holding their hands, or carrying them. We let them go around the block on their bicycles. We leave them in the car for 2 minutes while we check the mail at the PO box (that’s legal where I live at, by the way–as it well should be). We let them go to the bathroom at Subway’s without us going in there with them. We leave them on the shore of the lake while we swim out away from the edge, say, 30 yards or so–while they play with kids their own edge in the sand, doing just fine. We let them explore the woods short distances, including jumping around in mud puddles to the extent they’re covered lips to hips in mud.

And you know what? Our kids are BETTER for it.

For that matter, Lenore’s child is better for it too with his experiences. He is, in our estimation, a very lucky young man to have a mother like Lenore Skenazy who loves him enough to let him actually be a child. This isn’t wrecklessness, it’s normal. Your opinion that it’s otherwise is just wrong, and it’s none of your business anyway. Izzy is Lenore’s child, not yours, and Lenore owes you no explanation.

Frankly, letter writer, you could learn a lot from her. She, I estimate, could learn absolutely NOTHING from you at all, except maybe how NOT to be a mother or a member of society observing other parents. Lenore is trying to help encourage us and does so with a respectful tone. You are Atilla the Hun in a dress.

Another thing, dear letter writer, while you have the right to your opinion & to state it, you are exactly what is wrong with this country at the same time. Parents like Lenore Skenazy–and me, for that matter–owe you no explanation at all for why we parent our kids the way we do. You have the right to parent your child as helicopter as you please, and the decent thing for you to do is to grant us the same right. For you to fail to do this is the essence of hate, snobbery, judgmental-ism, holier-than-thou-ish-ness, You should be ashamed of yourself for your attitude.

Dear letter writer, let me make this clear to you: how Lenore chooses to parent her children, and how we choose to parent ours, is absolutely NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. How DARE you think you have the right to suggest that Lenore should lose her child just because she doesn’t agree with your point of view of parenting. If she were doing a meth lab in her house or exposing her children to porno, incest etc, that would be one thing. She is doing none of this, and deserves absolutely none of the ugliness and hatefulness you are directing her way.

You, dear letter writer, need to ask yourself this–is what I’m doing seeking to uplift Lenore as the mother, to encourage her how to be a good mother with a POSITIVE tone of encouragement, even in times when I disagree? Or am I saying what I’m coming from the angle of “what’s best for the child in MY opinion, to hell with the parent’s authority etc?” If it’s #2, as it most certainly is, my advice to you: shut up.

Yes, to quote Jim Calhoun in his famous “not a dime back” routine from a couple of years ago–shut up.

Lenore, my dear, owes you NO explanation as to why she parents her kids as she does, anymore than you have to justify to us why you parent as you do. You should be absolutely ashamed of yourselves for your attitude. You are, frankly, pathetic. You are a tool of judgmental, snobby, holier-than-thou pinheads.

Dear letter writer: I would just LOVE for you to tell me, to my face, what you think of my parenting. You would hear it back thus: are you my child’s mother? Did I fertilize your eggs (assuming you’re a woman)? Are you the one our children call mommy? Are you the one paying their daycare, or staying at home with them all day dealing with the various headaches of parenting them? Are you the one that gets up and cooks their breakfast? Are you God?

The answer to all of these questions is “no,” so guess what–your opinion on how I should parent my children is irrelevant. I owe you no explanation on why I do the things I do anymore than you owe me one. Stick your Pinocchio-sized nose somewhere else, and maybe–if there is a God–someone will dutifully slam a book shut right on it, and then you’ll have as much of a pain on your nose as your butting-in is a pain in the ass for all parents out there trying to parent without nimrods like you poking around where you’re neither needed nor wanted.

Next time you write a letter to Lenore, write a letter APOLOGIZING for daring to suggest she should lose her child because she doesn’t parent Izzy the way you think she should. Maybe you, dear letter writer, never let your child 2 inches from your apron strings. As pathetic as this is, you know what? We here, including myself, would NEVER suggest that you should lose your child for this, even though we are very certain that style of parenting is very detrimental to your child’s being. It still isn’t abuse, it still doesn’t rise to the level of extremes such as molestation or drug abuse, and we respect that as the mother of your child these decisions are YOURS to make and yours ALONE, not ours.

You know what? I get up most every morning and cook my children a full breakfast consisting of scrambled eggs, sausage and biscuits. Do you feed your kids cold cereal? If so, how would you like me calling you an awful mother because you don’t do a daily Aunt Jemina or Quaker Oats impersonation?

Respect Lenore the same way, dear letter writer. Otherwise, know this: you are a judgmental holier-than-thou snob whose opinion is not welcome here, whose attitudes are poisonous to our free-range society, whose ideas are actually downright dangerous.

You stand against and on the other side of everything that is pure, decent, fair, ethical, moral, and sensible. We will call you on it every-time you rear your ugly head towards the sunlight casting its harsh light down on your ugly world of hate.

Respectfully,

Larry Harrison

I wrote plenty as it was, maybe I should stop, but I feel compelled to add a PS.

To Lenore: look around you in your home. What do you see? You live in a nice home with a husband who can hold you close, give you tenderness, and tell you what a wonderful wife to him that you are & what a wonderful mother to his children you are for him. You have your children (2 of them, am I right?) who, arguments aside, love you and call you mommy, and would never ever trade you in for another mommy for all the mommy in the world.

These things which are lovely, pure, wonderful, and by your side through it all–think on these things. Smile, relax, and soak up the tender love that surrounds you in your New York City apartment.

This woman–or man, whatever the case–is nobody in the scheme of things. Yes it’s an upsetting thing to read, and this person should be ashamed, it’s normal to be hurt by what read.

But with the love of your husband, 2 children–and the support of many parents who are proud to know of you and would love the chance to actually KNOW you–you have nothing to fear or feel sad about.

Besides that, great leaders–and yes, I consider you a great leader–are subject to this sort of thing, but these same great leaders are strong and focused in their mission, never wavering in their belief that they’re doing the right thing. They know that pleasing everyone all the time is impossible, so they don’t try. They knew if they altered their mission based on the results of polls, they’d get lost in politics & lose the focus of their mission altogether.

So Mrs Lenore Skenazy, stand strong as the leader, and rest peaceful, wistful and wonderful in the love of those close to you who don’t care a fig what this person thinks. They’ll be there for you through anything. In the end, that’s all that matters.

LRH

The letter reflects what I have come to understand is the typical attitude of the american public. It’s quite disturbing but it is definitely an attitude held by millions.

Lenore, The response I have to the person who wrote you would start off the same way.
You are a horrible mother. You will not encourage your children to explore the unknown, to stretch their wings, to push the envelope. This country was built on THOSE values. Explore. Innovate. DO. Just because we CAN do it. To try untried things. To boldly go where no one has gone before. Be it the subway home from Macy’s or the moon or beyond. We have lost those values to fear in the past few decades. It is time to put fear away and face the world once again. As a famous American once said, “The Only thing we have to fear is fear itself” THAT is what I hope to teach MY children.

If this woman wants to raise her children her way, that’s fine. And she’s not even necessarily doing a bad job; just because she wouldn’t send a kid on the subway doesn’t mean she doesn’t let them do other free-rangy things.
But when someone has the nerve to tell a parent “You are horrible and I hope your child is taken away from you” that just crosses the line. What a terrible mean-spirited thing to wish for any parent, that they lose their child. That’s not just fear; fear I can understand. It’s self-righteous hatred.
(And hopefully no one here would ever wish the same thing on a helicopter parent.)

@StaceyJW:

If you keep driving north to Canada, you can come hang out with me! I’m raising my babe (18 mths) the same way and have done all the things you listed (plus letting her eat food fallen on the floor : ) (And my experience wasn’t at a show but a family reunion.) It’s been a delight!

It is interesting that most people are assuming the writer was a woman. In any case, we think you’re doing fine, Lenore, but of course the ultimate criteria is how well your kids are doing, and it sounds like they’re doing just fine!

This letter is just really, really mean (and stupid) and the woman is “asking for it”, as it were, but I was glad to read the comments of Dolly & co., and the empathy they express, which recognizes that the author is most probably coming from a place of pain.

And Dolly, thanks for being candid enough to share your own personal experiences to give us some insight. Ultimately of course, it is this woman and her ilk that need to get themselves under control – what she’s doing is shameful – but we are never poorer for trying to understand someone.

Granted, Lenore’s message — Free the Kids! — is more important, but as a speaker of German, I can’t help myself: Childrenfreude makes no sense in the way it is being used in the above link.

Freude means joy. Schade means shame. Schadenfreude means taking joy in someone’s shame. The “bad part” is the word Schade. Freude is a very good thing indeed (“Ode an die Freude”, org. title, Beethoven’s 9th) .

So, the meaning of Childrenfreude is more or less the opposite of how it’s being used above. Thus, Lenore takes joy in children and wants to set them free, she has Childrenfreude.

Our lesson for next week: Why uber fill-in-the-blank (e.g., ubermodel) is wrong. Hint – much ado about umlauts.

Larry Harrison, you crack me up! Loved your response to “letter writer”.

Lenore, how you keep your wits about you and not let people like him/her affect you is admirable.

Dear Letter Writer,
I have to admit, when I stumbled across Lenore’s article (a couple of years ago) I, too, was shocked just by reading the title. A 9 yo on the subway by himself?! Well, the reasons behind it must have been exceptional, so I read on, expecting some sort of epic adventure.
And I came face to face with my own unbeknowned prejudices. Just “why not?” would have been enough, I think. But she totally convinced me that my job as a mother isn’t shielding my kids from The Real World. After all, I live in it and actually enjoy it and everything. No, the roll of us educators (and parents must be the frontliners), is to introduce our kids in it, teaching them to be happy, useful members of our society.
Now, I live in a more or less large city (pop. about 4 million), with one of the best underground systems in the world, and a traditionally child-friendly society. So I can relate to Lenore’s circumstances, and agree with her choices. Probably, you live in a totally different environment, where Lenore’s choices would certainly be reckless. But it would be really helpful if you could answer Lenore’s arguments with your own, facts-based point of view, instead of resolving to panicked threats and ill-wishing, don’t you think?

Oh, and Lenore: the reason most parents are outraged about all the FRK movement is just the embarrasment of knowing they are raising useless, helpless, really vulnerable children. When they see a FR kid in action (resilient, resourceful, brave and happy), they can’t help comparing. And the outcome is certainly not flattering.

@Maureen my thoughts exactly! Lol.

Mothers: doin it rong no matter what they do *rolls eyes*

Lenore, you’re awesome.

And I don’t agree with everything you say, but you’re pushing us in the right direction, to let our kids DO more and have some perspective about relative risks.

What the letter-writer needs is more consideration for other parents, who can legitimately disagree.

Wow. The narrowmindness astounds.

This kind of letter, and the thought process it represents, is exactly why IMO some people need, need, need to travel outside the United States (or at minimum, watch NOVA or Nature or even the Travel Channel) to see how other people live and raise their children in other countries.

Lenore, you are offering a great public service here. Keep your chin up!

A good friend recently told me a story about her 17 year old little sister who came to visit her. She came on a plane from Florida to Maryland. Her father said she was to be escorted to the gate by my friend and that she was to stay with her sister until she got on the plane. This 17 year old could not do anything by herself and freaked out when the gate was changed (it was the next one over). My friend was flabbergasted and so am I. We cannot raise our children like this! Keep at it Lenore, you are doing a world of good.

Dr. Phil has a great parenting philosophy. He says that we’re not raising children, we’re raising adults.
By giving our kids small freedoms when they’re very young, and working up to more independence as they get older, they become more competent adults. Kids who are sheltered and never given any freedom have a lot of trouble when they leave the nest.

I recently read a book called, “The iConnected Parent,” which is about college students in the States who grew up with helicopter parents. These kids call their parents about every little thing since they never learned how to make decisions for themselves when they were younger. An example cited by the author was a girl who called her mother from the college cafeteria because she didn’t know what she should have for dinner. I also saw an episode of “20/20” a couple of years ago that featured a helicopter mom and her two college student sons. The mother gave her sons wake-up calls, kept track of their assignments and due dates, and drove two hours to their dorm to clean their rooms and do their laundry for them.

If Lenore is the worst mom, I should have the honor of being the second worst because my son is very free-range. Last year I blogged about how I’m such a “bad parent,” and even mentioned Lenore. Here’s the link:
http://gap-runner.blogspot.com/2010/06/bad-parent-school-dropout-or-honors.html
If the link doesn’t work, it’s the entry for 6 June 2010.

Here’s another entry from 17 November 2010 about college life lessons.
http://gap-runner.blogspot.com/2010/11/helicopter-parents-and-college-life.html

The thing is, how another parent raises their child(ren) should concern us. As in: “it takes a village to raise a child”. However, it can be done in a respectful manner. Asking questions as to why things are done a certain way, instead of instant judgements.

No, I disagree – she’s not evil. She’s stupid. Okay, that’s not a nice word (as my son would remind me). But her argument is that you are supposed to take care of your child until they are old enough to take care of themselves. Her logic never considers the fact that kids can’t learn how to take care of themselves if they never have the opportunity to do so.

We all know that historically kids have done amazing things. They’ve worked alongside their parents on farms. They have started companies at age 10. They’ve rescued younger siblings. These things did not happen in a vacuum. They weren’t “taken care of” until one miraculous day they could do these things. We don’t keep spooning food into our kids mouths until they can do it on their own. At a certain point we give them a plastic spoon and fork, show them how to do it, and let them make a mess until they learn the right way.

I fear for that woman’s children. When they want to date, will she go with them? If something suddenly happened and her kids *had* to stay home alone or walk to school alone, could they? Or will they be so stymied that they are unable to do so.

Sad. So very sad.

I was an amazing parent until I had kids too…

The majority of overprtectove parents seem to believe this: “It is your job to protect your child until he/she is old enough to protect themselves. At nine yrs. old he is not going to be able to defend himself ”

Now. Really. Let’s think this through, because this logic is truly flawed. Bad things happen to people. (Not just children, all people) Which of the Bad Things that Happen can be avoided by having an overprotective mother? NONE OF THEM!

Getting into accidents, broken bones, broken hearts, and all the other horrible things… they happen right at home, with Mom and Dad there. Bad days are not avoidable.

OK, so this woman is thinking Worst Case Scenario: terrorist attack! I am 5’6″, 150 pounds. What, may I ask, am I going to “protect” a nine year old from? !! There could be a flasher on the train! Yep. Not a thing I can do about it. (Except perhaps model the “ignore it strategy”, which everyone on the train will be demonstrating anyway…) I think she knows that no one can protect kids from Bad Things, she just thinks that good parenting means that no one can ever say “And where were YOU when Billy broke his arm?”

Wow. What a group therapy session this has been. Think that writer will ever read what anyone here wrote? I always like threads like this that really go no where and do nothing. That’s what makes the internet fun.

I run a website and a discussion group. I,too, get interesting mail. I hit my second favorite key [DEL] and move on.

I think, er , KNOW this is a great site. But’s let’s do more than shout into the wind and pat each other on the back.

Back to your regularly scheduled day now. Everyone go outside and play.

As an adoptive parent, who got there via infertility, I resent with all my being the idea that that gives me carte blanche to judge others’ parenting. So I couldn’t have biological kids. Boo freaking hoo. That doesn’t mean the world will, or should, tiptoe around me forever. Sure, I went through my own private hell about it. But I would be the most arrogant jerk on the planet if I expected everyone else to hover over their children proclaiming their gratitude about being able to reproduce 24/7. I’m free range precisely because I know how resilient kids are. They can (gasp) spend their first 6 months in a third world country and live! They can be handled by strangers I have no control over and not get kidnapped or catch diseases. They won’t actually crumble into dust if someone says an insensitive word about adoption or if they have to do a family tree project. It’s us parents turning everything into a crisis that makes it so.

What a moron. I bet she hasn’t even stepped foot in NYC. What you did wasn’t dangerous in the least. People acted like you let your son loose in the Bronx and told him to get lost.

Parents like this are the reason more and more kids are living with their parents until they’re 30. I’m 27 and I still have friends who have never lived alone, and still depend on mommy and daddy to live their lives for them.

Keep your chin up Lenore, people like this woman are crazy and I think you’re doing a great thing.

Geez my mother must have been the devil [her]self then… we were allowed out with our friends (unsupervised!) until dark… on horse back no less… we played all day down at the river (about 100 yards from our back door and only a wire ringlock fence to climb through!)… we rode on the back of the farm ute… we rode our bikes with NO helmets (heaven forbid!)… and lo and behold we survived! 😉

Get a grip moron… I have this overwhelming urge to smack this dimwitted @#$% in the face.

Lenore,

Well…you can’t please everyone and you don’t need to please everyone. However, I personally couldn’t be more pleased that your decision to let your then 9-year-old take that ride back home led to the book and the website. I am a “recovering hovering mother.” My timid 8 year old is benefitting greatly from my more relaxed parenting style. He’s more conifident in his own abilities now. The other day he rode his back down the street without ANYONE going with him! I am so proud of him and of MYSELF. I was in parenting burnout big time.

well. Lots of comments…judgement either way is not going to make any of us any better. If we can reach out to the frightened child inside the letter writer, her perspectove mgiht improve. But then, that’s why we are where WE are, and she is where SHE is.

And may I add that my grandmother had nine children and the whole gaggle of them would ride all over the place on public transportation. No one got kidnapped, murdered, or lost.

Ah haters, everyone has to have them. You wear it well.

Bah….haters gotta hate. 😉

Right, because getting taken away from your home and family would be WAY less traumatic than something like getting lost on the subway…

Well, on the bright side, at least it wasn’t a 3am phone call from some drunk mother wanting to cut your head off. I’ve had enough of them over the years.

I feel so sad for this woman, and by extension, parents like her.

They think our job is to protect our children until they can protect themselves, and it is. However, she and others like her think that every bump and bruise is preventable, and someone is always to blame for any accident. By extension, she also believes that the bumps and bruises and SMALL risks that we allow our children take have no value. That they will just magically turn from children to adults “When the time is right”.

She doesn’t realize that the time is right now! It is every day, every experience, every situation where we TEACH our kids to take care of themselves, assess situations and act accordingly.

Lenore, I love your blog, and I love what you stand for .

I recently visited the New York for the first time. I was a little nervous about taking the subway for the first time myself (and I’m an adult). I saw 3 free range children smiling and happy together on the subway. They obviously knew what they were doing and where they were going. It made me feel a little silly for being nervous myself. 🙂 I think it’s wonderful when we give children the freedom to learn and grow. It means that we care so much more for them than if we tried to keep them “safe” inside learning about life from what they see on television.

Wow this person is really angry! I don’t think it’s personal…she is just venting on you. Go Lenore! I appreciate your support.

What gets me about media talk about children is this myth of the shortness of childhood. Childhood has never been longer than it is now. From the middle ages right up to the georgian age children as young as 7 could and where hung for theft. Children worked from the time they could walk. If you looked at the median age of people in the 14th century it that meant that about 40% where under the age of 15. These days people expect 18 year olds to allow their parents to check their text messages, read their email. I even saw on one message board a man proudly boasting that when his daughter reached the age of 13 he and his wife where going to randomly do urine tests on their daughter for drugs!!!!!!!!!

Oh lordy. Where is s/he from? Generally, people who are horribly freaked out by NYC subways, haven’t actually ridden on one.

I was a little nervous about taking the subway for the first time myself (and I’m an adult).

It makes sense to be worried about taking the subway for yourself for the very first time. Even if your head isn’t filled up with the media image of the trains as they were 30 and 40 years ago, in the 70s and 80s (I just barely remember the late 80s. There’s no comparison on the trains from today), it’s reasonable to be a little concerned about navigating in a strange system in a city you’ve never been in before.

I’d be worried about doing things some of the people here take for granted, because they do it every day and I never have.

But I wouldn’t expect them to worry about their children doing those things (because their kids have grown up seeing it done and doing it themselves) and neither would I worry about my nieces taking the train unsupervised when they’re a little older. (The younger one is five. The older one LOOKS five, to everybody’s consternation. Five is a bit young to navigate the city alone. Eight is better, but not when everybody assumes you’re your sister’s twin.)

Cheryl: thanks for sharing that sad story. It is so sad that these type of stories are all too common. Maybe this is why a lot of parents try TOO hard, because they never want to be anything close to parents like that. I know I don’t. It makes me sick when people have kids and literally have no means or ability to properly care for them. Not mentally, emotionally, physically or financially.

You should petition the social worker for that boy and see if maybe he could stay with you but outlook not so good. They normally only put kids with family even if a non family would be better for the kid. They would probably make your family go through an expensive and intensive home study too.

I don’t however agree with the mother could get counseling and might improve. I doubt it. Sounds like this is not a one time thing. Sounds ongoing from how you described it. It would just continue and the poor little boys life will continue to be messed up. Might be better to get him a real family that actually can properly care for him then maybe that family would allow him to visit your son.

Counseling can’t majically make someone a good person or a good parent. Doesn’t work that way. They have to WANT to be a better parent and his mother looks like she didn’t care about that.

Jeez, who pooped in the letter writer’s cornflakes? Disagreeing with someone’s parenting philosophy is one thing, but saying you hope something bad will happen to said parent and the parent’s kids because of that disagreement is just plain cruel and should be mocked accordingly.

So guess which finger I’m holding up at the moment?

On a more civilized note, I just want to say “thank you” to Lenore and everyone here for demonstrating that sensible parenting isn’t a thing of myth. It makes me worry less for my parent siblings and friends that they aren’t alone in their beliefs that part of raising kids is teaching them how to rely on themselves and not be afraid of the world they inhabit.

Wish we could vote thumbs up or thumbs down on letters on this forum. I agree with the women who pointed out the letter writer’s illiteracy and ignorance.

I admire your bravery, Lenore. In going public you’ve raised much needed awareness and perspective about the harms of over-protecting children. Any good mother can keep constant vigil over her child in hopes of simply keeping that child alive to adulthood, but a great mother actively readies her child for adulthood by allowing and encouraging opportunities to practice independence. Your children are fortunate to have such a great mom!

You’re really brave, Lenore. Thanks for sharing that and for continuing to push against so much resistance. Everywhere I go I encounter parents so terrified for their kids — even while they are there. Yesterday my toddler was having a blast playing in an empty conference room with another boy (a little older). The mom and I were both occupied with paperwork at a help desk, and the boys naturally fell into a game. It was so great. So rare (in NY) for that to happen. I was done and offered to take both boys down to the playspace (she had said she was going there, too) and I thought she gave me a look of absolute horror at the suggestion. In NY I guess it really is almost out of line to make such an offer. And maybe it is odd–like my offer to the stranger in the park that you so kindly published last June. The fear is just so palpable though, and so intrusive, and so at odds with the way kids naturally are. Later I mentioned free-range kids to her. Maybe she’ll check it out. Oh, one more little anecdote that made me think of you (so many things do). In the playground Wally grabbed a little girl’s hand. The grandfather actually LEFT the playground. Swooped her up and left b/c “He [my son] plays rough” and by that I think he meant touches other people.
Thank you Lenore for the constant reminder that we’re not alone.

I was angry at first when I read this woman’s words, because she isn’t just directing them at you; she’s projecting her fears and insecurities at the rest of us too, with vitriol and hate. There was a part of me that was unhappy that you’d posted it, because it would get a lot of us angry, but I understand now why you did it: it wasn’t to cause an uproar but to give us all an opportunity to understand that this is what we must face everyday. We live in a dangerous world and people won’t like the way we choose to parent. We must be prepared to face things like this on a daily basis. But we also have to be prepared to compartmentalize our emotions in order to allow open dialogue with detractors. An eye for an eye won’t help spread the movement and will only serve to discredit it. I think we should feel hurt and angry by this woman’s words, but we should then turn around and use that anger to propel us in a positive direction – one of understanding, compassion, and kindness. Thank you Lenore, for sharing this note with us, so that we can be reminded of the challenges we face, and be inspired to find new ways to handle them gracefully and with dignity.

@ crowjoy: “Both of those thoughts lead right to Lenore’s premise that knowing strangers/neighbors is the safest way to live. I didn’t dare read the comments.”

It’s like the old saying goes, “keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer”. You don’t know who to watch out for if you stay away from EVERYONE you don’t know. And ironically enough, statistically, most abductions and assaults against children are from people they DO know. Like teachers, family friends and even family themselves.

@ Elizabeth E: “The most vitriolic are often times the most vociferous.”

So true. Probably because it hit the right nerve. Wherein they know it’s the truth, but can’t accept it, so they challenge it hoping it would give them justification to continue to act irrationally. Some people just have a hard time facing their fears, and accepting the truth. Again, this is just points to the being about the parent and not the children. Selfish people.

As plenty of people have pointed out, she’s wrong. Years ago someone said something similar to me though, and it still stings. I’m sorry that standing up for this way of parenting makes you a target, but thanks for doing it anyways.

people are a-holes.

If the kid has never ridden a subway before, it’s different. If the kid has been riding around on it since they were a baby and it’s the middle of the day – by all means – let the kid have the adventure. You have to trust that your kid is responsible because you’ve taught them what they should/shouldn’t do. Overprotective parents in my opinion are people who are not confident in their own skills as a parent.

Also, BobB, it’s not legal to drive in NYC until you’re 18.

You may LEARN to drive (with a permit) under that age… with an instructor, in a car with dual brakes, but once you get your license you can only drive outside of the city.

They normally only put kids with family even if a non family would be better for the kid. They would probably make your family go through an expensive and intensive home study too.

We didn’t have to do any of that, oddly, when my foster sister came to stay with us. (We were already friends.) However, she was only older than this boy, and in retrospect it seems to me she was probably more difficult to place than a lot of kids. But basically it all boiled down to “We called them to make sure she was all right, and they were impressed we made the effort”. No, seriously.

I’m not remembering this with rosy eyes because I was a kid back then, either. My mother was surprised at the time that it turned out to be so simple. (But then, as I always say, rules are only as good as the people who enforce them. They wanted a place to send her on weekends (she was in a group home during the week, we didn’t want her *that* bad) that wasn’t back to her grandmother’s, and we were it.)

All this ramble boils down to, Cheryl, is that it probably doesn’t do any harm to ask. If nothing else, they will know you to be somebody concerned about his welfare – and if you get somebody who is willing to bend the rules, well, there you go.

But if you don’t want to, or if you’re sure it’s not worth the effort, we can’t make your choices for you. And it might well come to nothing even if you DO ask and make a big push. You never can tell.

@Miss Substitute Teacher, You’re right about letting a child have the adventure of riding the subway by himself if he’s familiar with the system. I assume that by the time Izzy took the subway, he had made the trip enough times with his parents that he knew exactly which stop was his and where to transfer to the bus. It was the same situation when my son rode the train for the first time by himself at age 10. He had taken the train with me (or my husband) several times before and knew where his station was. In addition, the stops are announced a few minutes before the train arrives, and he knew to listen to the announcements.

When he had to take a bus by himself to visit a friend, he had never gone on that particular bus before. But his friend’s mother told him where he needed to get off the bus. We had him bring a mobile phone in case he missed his stop (which didn’t happen). He had the confidence in himself from riding other buses, and from taking the train by himself several times, that he would reach his destination without any problems.

This ski season my son wanted to take the ski train that goes from near our house to the Zugspitze ski area by himself. He had been riding on that train with an adult since he was 6, when we moved here. Last month he finally got his wish. He met up with 3 friends, the oldest being 14 or 15, at the local platform. My husband and I also took the same train, but made sure to sit in a different car. My husband and I skied together and left the 4 boys on their own. When my husband and I were ready to leave, we met up with our son to show him where the backpack with his lunch was and reminded him to bring it home. The boys stayed for another 2 hours and had a great time. My husband and I were convinced that our son would leave his backpack at the ski area, but he surprised us and remembered it. The boys not only had to remember their things, they had to plan their skiing time in order to catch their train. Kids will really rise to the occasion when they’re given some responsibilty along with a little bit of prior experience to guide them.

@harmonyl I actually agree with the comments that take the sheriff to task. Calling off the search for the missing child – and the neighbors didn’t know the child was missing? Why didn’t the family and the deputies knock on all the neighborhood doors. If they had instead of locking the doors this neighbor might have either investigated the barking or alerted the search party.

My sister had a neighbor child go missing. The child was mentally impaired, disobeyed a rule and got lost. She was afraid of asking an adult for help because of all the stranger danger stuff drilled into her head. She ended up in the care of a bunch of street kids. They realized they were dealing with someone who really needed help. They walked her into fire station down the road and explained she was lost.

@Andrea: Well, my mum actually did something of the sort. She was fed up having me hanging in the house, doing nothing. So when I was 11, she came to me on a Saturday afternoon with a city map, a public transport title and some cash, and actually threw me out of the house, with the instruction to roam around for a bit, so that I started to get my bearings around town. Her instructions were:
1. Be home at a given time (always by daytime), and call her on a pay phone if I thought I would be late.
2. Stick to known places at first, and note how long it took me to get there. After that, set specific unfamiliar destinations (like a certain museum/ theater), check them out and figure out how to get back on time.
3. Keep the cash in different pockets, saving a coin in my shoe, so that if I lost the money or someone picked my pocket, I could always use a pay phone to get her to fetch me wherever I was (?!?!).
I’ve always been very lazy, shy and conservative, and this “harsh” measure took me completely by surprise and was fairly unwelcome. But I think it was somehow called for, as I started to get a taste for adventure, and became gradually more confident and daring since then.
On the other hand, my mum would never have dreamt to do something like this with my second brother, who has always been more reckless, impulsive and toughtless than me.
It always comes to the same thing: get to know your kids, by watching how they tend to act in controlled situations. And then trust them accordingly.

Brittany: LOL I let my 3 year olds use toothpicks to pop balloons. They love it! I supervise the activity of course but you know, no injuries yet.

As a parent you can either equip or handicap. I choose to equip. Those that choose to handicap can call me whatever they want to, I know that in the end I will have a capable child while their’s will be handicapped.

Almost exactly a year ago – when Lenore published a piece over at AOL about a 5 year-old who’d been (purposely, after a discussion with her mother and the children’s librarian) left to play alone in the children’s section of the library for a couple of minutes while the mom went to a different section to get a book – more than 2,000 comments were left in under 24 hours… (She also linked to the piece from this website, and a discussion was had here within the comments, too.) The great majority of the AOL comments were exceedingly negative and condemning, with many calling the mother horrible names and declaring her to be a terrible parent, and some even went so far as to declare – like this lovely letter writer – that CPS take the child away, that the child deserved to be molested (so the mother could see how awful her actions were), or even that the mother herself be KILLED so that the child could be raised by someone else.

😐

I remember it very well because *I* was the mother who left my 5 year-old daughter in the library! I’d told Lenore the story when she’d come to my city to do a book reading/talk. It was absolutely incredible to me to see the viciousness of the comments, to almost literally *feel* the condemnation and outright hatred aimed at the parent – at ME! – despite the fact that NONE of these complete strangers knew ANYTHING about me as a person or a parent. Even though I was entirely anonymous, it stung.

So, albeit in a very small way, I can relate to Lenore’s experience – of having a complete stranger pass hasty, condemning, hateful judgment on how she’s parented her children. And I can say that it sucks!

But also? It made me think. It made me re-assess how I DO parent, and made me look more carefully at WHY I parent as I do… And the outcome? I’ve become even more Free-Range! If THAT’S the mentality of others out there – paranoid, terrified, helicopter-ish to the max – then I know I *HAVE* to continue with Free-Range thinking and parenting now more than ever to ensure that my daughters grow up to be confident, strong, and capable, and to look at the world knowing that dangers do NOT lurk around every corner, that most people ARE good, and that they, themselves, are competent.

Were it not for Lenore and this site, I never would have attended that book reading… And my story never would have been published on AOL… And I never would have been called a terrible mother by thousands of strangers… And I never would have re-examined my parenting beliefs… And my wonderfully smart, confident, trusting, capable, beautiful, HAPPY children might not have the childhood – the childhood filled with kid-made sandwiches, scraped knees, hours of unsupervised outdoor play, time “alone” at the library while I look for a book, and more laughs than we can count – that they do.

So THANK YOU, Lenore!! Keep on keeping on. 🙂

While I’m not sure I would let my 9 (now 10) yo ride the subway… just yet, I support your decision to do so. I did enjoy the comment about “Good luck when your son is 30 and living in your basement.”

To call someone a horrible mother… that’s just insecurity bubbling to the top.

I continue to strive for Free Range Kids. We’re pretty free, but I still have the occasional freak out moment. Thanks for your wonderful blog.

Lenore,
THe sad thing is that your story made headline news in the first place, but I love your campaign!!!!
When my Mum was a child of 5 in 1938 she took 2 trams to school by herself in pre war Glasgow.
Just 2 years later, 10 miles down the road from her school, an air raid destroyed the town of Clydebank , killing a few people and made 35,000 homeless.
By the age of nine , so in 1942, a year later ,she was responsible for taking another child age 5 on and off trams with a gas mask in her school bag. Where were the helicopter mums in those days and the CPA people?
If someone was setting the regulations for war time now, I bet all the kids would have to travel with thier gas masks ON) otherwise the parents would be fined

Opinions are like *ssholes. Everyone’s got one. I just don’t happen to agree with dear letter writer. Just as, I’m sure, she wouldn’t agree with my parenting either. Oh well, life goes on.

Y’know…the more I think about this, the more irritated I get. A person has to be really fucking stupid to read your writing and think, “she doesn’t care about her child!” and then they have to be a real asshole to write a message so obviously meant to shame and be hurtful. I feel bad for that woman’s kids; it would suck to be raised by a stupid, petty, overbearing helicopter. Rrgh!

That woman has a right to keep her child prisoner. In my opinion, it’s a cruel way for a child to grow up, but I am all for parents’ rights to parent their own children. It is not okay for her to tell others off for not parenting in her same restrictive manner. I hope to goodness she does not live in my area – but sadly, there is probably one or more just like her in every neighborhood.

Suzanne, as long as people actually ‘live and let live’ I have no problem with people having different comfort levels. (although I grew up in one of those ‘bad neighborhoods’ on the south side of Chicago. The only time I was ever threatened was in a park in a lily white suburb by a bunch of bored suburban brats. The drug dealers had business to do and never bothered me. But I digress.)

The problem is the people who won’t “Live and let live”. Folks like the letter writer have declared themselves judge, jury, and executioner, and if you do not raise your kids EXACTLY the way they think is right, they’re going to call the authorities to make your life hell, and they’re going to justify their interference by saying it’s “For the Children”.

May I make a point and ask a question ? My point is that these days a lot of parents totally centre their world around being their child’s parents to the exclusion of their own lifes. My question is the over protectiveness designed to keep the children dependant so they don’t grow away from their parents?

Suzanne, this world of today is SAFER than the world I grew up in. The crime rate has done nothing but DROP since I was a child.

The new reality of today’s society is that it’s safer than it was 20 and 30 years ago.

I grew up in a very small Midwestern village and the best memories of my childhood were the days when we shoved a peanut butter sandwich in the back pocket of our cutoffs and were out all day long — without adult supervision. The concerned adults saved their supervision for trips like this one, that Pigeon Forge is giving away: http://www.mypigeonforge.com/familychallenge/Giveaway-Rules.aspx

Wow. So u r horrible but this person is not? Who wishes someone’s child to b harmed or taken. Wow

I just found your site thank God. Why am I the only on the block that let’s their kids play in the front yard? Finally a place I can come where I can feel normal.

My husband read an article in our local paper about Lenore’s book and I found this website because of it. I am very excited to read Free Range Kids! I am a mother of 2 who was told after 5 years of infertility that I probably wouldn’t be able to have children. 6 months later I was pregnant with my daughter and when she was 9 months old I was shockingly pregnant with my son. I am horribly paranoid that something horrible is going to happen to my precious gifts, but I also know that while I love them so much it hurts, if I don’t let them have their “free range”, it will only hurt them in the future. My daughter had a seizure when she was 18 months old. I had never experienced a situation like that before. The end of the seizure almost seems like death. So I actually thought my 18 month old daughter died in my arms with my 3 week old son sleeping just feet away. I felt, for some time that I had every right in the world to make it my sole priority to protect my children no matter what the cost. With a lot of help, it didn’t take me long to realize that it is not possible to protect my children from anything! LIFE happens. You have to let them be themselves, you cannot hold them back for your selfish reasons such as fear. Not only does the paranoid fear of something bad happening to your child affect them, it consumes you as an individual, and ruins your relationships. It seems to me that Lenore may have “struck a nerve” of insecurity of the Letter Writer. Maybe the Letter Writer feels insecure in their parenting and in turn lashes out at someone who is very secure in their parenting. We are all entitled to our opinion, but it is just rude to verbally assult someone you don’t know. Letter Write, you have your opinion, we get it, you don’t agree with what Lenore did. That’s all you needed to say. Some times I wonder why people don’t smile as much any more. I bet it’s because the general public is just plain mean. What did you teach your child by making that verbal assult? There is a respectful way to disagree Letter Writer. Children learn from the ones they look up to. That would be YOU. It is your responsibility as an adult to offer a decent, respectful role model for all children. Lenore appears to me as a strong person that I would be proud to have my children look up to. I am certain that once I read her book, that I will not agree with everything she has written, it’s normal to disagree, but I’m not going to criticize her for it. A difference of opinion is just “food for thought”. Thank you for this website Lenore, just one more tool to help keep my fears at large! 🙂

When you think about it, we’re all exposing our kids to terrible danger just by conceiving them and bringing them into the world. In fact, and this is very alarming so sit down if you’re not sitting already, all children whose parents gave birth to them (including adopted children who were given birth by someone else) have a 100% mortality rate! Isn’t that terrible.

I guess the only good parent is no parent at all. If a person is never born, he can never come to harm. Maybe the human race should just play it ultra-safe for a generation or so and see where that gets us.

The times today arent the same as when we were younger get it together people

Your job as a future mother is to learn the god’s ways and to help your child understand despite the negative reinforcement and conditioning of today’s society. Without consciousous parents the child will have no hope, and may even exaserbate their disfavor by becoming corrupted in today’s environment.
Your ultimate goal is to fix your relationship wiith the gods and move on. You don’t want to be comfortable here, and the changes in Western society in the last 100 years has achieved just that.
1000 years with Jesus is the consolation prize. Don’t be deceived into thinking that is the goal.

Much like the other prophets Mohhamed (polygamy/superiority over women/misogyny) and Jesus (forgiveness/savior), the gods use me for temptation as well. In today’s modern society they feel people are most weak for popular culture/sensationalism, and the clues date back to WorldWarII and Unit731:TSUSHOGO, the Chinese Holocaust. They used this Situation to bury Japanese atrocities.
It has been discussed that, similar to the Matrix concept, the gods will offer a REAL “Second Coming of Christ”, while the “fake” Second Coming will come at the end and follow New Testiment scripture and their xtian positioning. I may be that real Second Coming.
What I teach is the god’s true way. It is what is expected of people, and only those who follow this truth will be eligible to ascend into heaven as children in a future life. They offered this event because the masses have just enough time to work on and fix their relationship with the gods and ascend, to move and grow past Planet Earth, before the obligatory xtian “consolation prize” of “1000 years with Jesus on Earth” begins.

The Prince of Darkness, battling the gods over the souls of the Damned.
It is the gods who have created this environment and led people into Damnation with temptation. The god’s positioning proves they work to prevent people’s understanding.
How often is xtian dogma wrong? Expect it is about the Lucifer issue as well.
The fallen god, fighting for justice for the disfavored, banished to Earth as the fallen angel?
I believe much as the Noah’s Flood event, the end of the world will be initiated by revelry among the people. It will be positioned to be sanctioned by the gods and led for “1000 years with Jesus on Earth”.
In light of modern developments this can entail many pleasures:::Medicine “cures” aging, the “manufacture” of incredible beauty via cloning as sex slaves, free (synthetic) cocaine, etc.
Somewhere during the 1000 years the party will start to “die off”, literally. Only those who maintain chaste, pure lifestyles, resisting these temptations, will survive the 1000 years. Condemned to experience another epoch of planet’s history for their ignorant pursuit of xtianity, they will be the candidates used to (re)colonize (the next) Planet Earth, condemned to relive the misery experienced by the peasantry during history due to their failure to ascend into heaven before the Apocalypse.
Never forget:::It is not a house of Jesus.
If this concept of Lucifer is true another role of this individual may be to initiate disfavor and temptation among this new poulation, the proverbial “apple” of this Garden of Eden. A crucial figure in the history of any planet, he begins the process of deterioration and decay that leads civilizations to where Planet Earth remains today.
Which one is it?:
One transitions into the other, allowing the gods to wash their hands of obligation to their Chosen One. My personal “consolation prize”.
And since the gods never committed despite tens of billions in mass media, product development and natural disasters/tragedy they will employ the freedom they positioned into the Situation and CHEAT me out of everything.
Unfortunate for me, the gods can claim they never intended this, despite being control freaks who guide everything specifically and have the power to force it with AI, and now they are free to fuck my brains out, just as they did throughout my childhood.
The gods were pimping me when I was a 3 year-old boy, only to exploit me and cash in decades later.
Pre-pubescent prostitution is rampant in black communities. Now we see where it comes from.

Consistant with “reverse positioning” understand the REAL Second Coming would equate with The Matrix’s Anti-Christ, the fake battle of good and evil which will come at the end.
Understanding how they use the political encviornment to redefine people’s value system, realize anyone who speaks of the old world and its ways will envoke hatred. So when/if the Anti-Christ comes along speaking of reverting back to what liberalism would consider regressive and unfair, it may be the only hope to salvage the god’s favor and keep moving forward rather than begin the 1000 year clock. The fake Second Coming will feed into this political enviornment.
Also consistant with “reverse positioning” recognize the gods will offer a REAL Anti-Christ, also known as The Beast. I have addressed these issues in years past::::
The gods will offer clues throughout every dynaic of life. Geographical features onthe world map is yet another.
The Beast is not a person, as the xtian Bible would suggest. It is a place:::The San Francisco Bay Area. And it refers to the socio-political poison the region exuded in the latter 20th century which promoted indecent behavior among the people whose favor was rapidly deteriorating. This decay spread to other states and countries, fulfilling the region’s role as The Beast of the Apocalypse.
Another feature which the Gods offer as a clue is very foreboading. Mt. Zion is a mountain to the north of the eye of The Beast Diablo and one which has a working quarry at its base. Consistant with the decay we experience in society, Mt. Zion is being eaten away, slowly stripped of its resources, until one day paradise will be gone forever.

10:47a
So many theme oriented movies lately. Pills that make you smarter, now a movie focussed on time, immortality. The gods are taking steps in preparation for the Apocaplypse, 1000 years with Jesus on Earth.
The gods are preying on the people, ramping up temptation and compelling them to engage in behavior which will ultimately cost them.
What I teach is the truth:::The gods extensively use clone hosts and manage Earth through them, people who ultimately are reincarnated into lesser life forms because of their fatal decision.
You’re all falling prey to the god’s royal scam.
Any enviornment/perception can be created with their power. Never fail to recognize the power they have at their disposal. There is NOTHING it can not do.
They still sell “going up” to the reals and their clone hosts, for living on Earth doesn’t sound so appealing to them, nor preditors like my family. But the gods are creating an enviornment which will fulfill their promise made in the Bible to stupid white people and the fools who fell for xtianity.

Navy SEALS helpcopter crash of 8.6.11 was revenge for Osama bin Laden.
One day default will bring insolvency, while the wealthy your bailed out with multi-trillion dollar stimulous package leaves you behind in the ruins.
You fell for it. And now you will pay dearly. The United States is the empire of evil.

Even with all the corruption this wasn’t going to happen on W’s watch because the conservatives are the good ones. It is the social decay which was the trademark of The Beast, and what has destroyed our favor with the gods, filthy sodomites.

So confident in their relationship with the gods. Live in comfort in “the greatest country in the world”, bright future, kids do great.
The gods have sent a very contradicting clue to the families of the 20 Navy SEALS killed in Afghanistan.
The gods did this to you. This is punishment for the evil of your country, killing of a superior in the god’s eyes.
Do you even pray? Have the gods already told you to stop going to church? Because Muslims pray 7 times a day, and you fucking white trash ridicule their favor.
The clue has been sent. Let’s see what you do with it.

I also want to add….my children know how to accept and conquer conflict. I have noticed that other children do not know how. I like knowing my children will not run away from their problems.