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Usually I don”t have the patience to watch an 8-minute video, but this one fascinated me:
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The zeekaarfba
two families — one Japanese, one Australian — are obviously hand-picked and hence not a random sample. But Japan DOES trust its kids out and about at an early age, and clearly this is not beyond what the kids can handle. Meanwhile, western countries, including my own, come up with all sorts of reasons that kids are simply not safe anytime they are unsupervised. What’s worse, this paranoid outlook is becoming the law of the land, as we just saw in the British Columbia Supreme Court decision ruling that no child under age 10 can be alone.
What cultural myopia! Can someone please send that Supreme Court judge this video? – L
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50 Comments
That was amazing! Gee Lenore, this girl is two years younger than Izzy was when he took the subway by himself. Remember how American society made such a big deal about that and you were then dubbed “The World’s Worst Mom”? But in Japan, this seems to be the norm! Heck I remember walking to school by myself, or rather with my 5-year-old cousin, when we were in Kindergarten. But then again, the school was only a block away from my house but we still had to cross the street with the aid of a 6th grade safety patrol. Today, however, there are not many 5- and 6-year-old kids in America who are allowed to walk to school in even that short of distance.
There is absolutely no reason that our kids cannot be doing what the kids in Japan are doing. The only things stopping them is paranoia.
And there aren’t any sixth grade crossing guards either, are there? All the crossing guards, even on less busy streets, are adults where I am.
Interesting that the Australian kid they picked was so much less talkative than the Japanese girl. Or maybe that was the magical power of editing at work.
This contrasts so sharply with a scene I observed on the subway in DC. Here a 8 year old calmly takes the subway. In DC a 16 year old on a school trip with a teacher in tow was having a nervous break down on the subway. Apparently, the special snowflake was afraid of escalators (and the subway). One of her friends asked what she did at the mall where she lived. She said oh my dad drives me from one side of the mall to the other so I don’t have to take the escalator. (Most likely in a gas guzzling SUV as these are types of people who spoil there special snowflakes to this extent). Oh and she proceeded to try to call her dad 2x on the train to complain. The teacher was good and basically ignored the little snowflake’s insane behavior and focused on calm and that she was going to be fine.
The US/Canada (which in my opinion are carbon copies of each other) is going towards an Ekalfwons type society. One where just as in the fictional land of Ekalfwons children will one day be placed in bubbles and not let out until they are 28 (and meanwhile all the helicopter parent will continue to drive around recklessly in their tanks-but it will be okay because they have 15 point car seats).
I think I’m moving to Japan!!
Shoulda been titled, “Japan’s Normally-competent Kids”.
This is a very pertinent issue for our family right now as our 10-year-old just yesterday expressed the desire to start walking to school on her own. She and I’ve been taking the 1-mile walk together, and I frankly enjoy the time together, plus the hour of walking it gives me each day as I walk both ways, of course. But I want her to experience the independence she wants to experience, so I said, as we were talking about it while walking home, that I’d talk with her dad and maybe we could start out by letting her leave 10 minutes before I went on break (I work from home) and then I could walk over and check to make sure she’d made it okay (merely a “transitional tool” for me, as she obviously knows her way and is also very aware about traffic safety). Going earlier would also be cool because she’d have time to do two things she really loves doing before school: eating breakfast in the cafeteria and going to the morning mixer in the gym (waiting for me to go on break means she usually just has time for the breakfast and misses the mixer).
Well, my husband pointed out about all the shootings that keep occurring in our neighborhood. Within just the last few weeks, a 15-year-old young man was shot in the chest while walking home from school, just 3 blocks from our house, by another teen who was trying to rob him. He seemed to be recovering, the last I heard, but there was also a 19-year-old young man who lived only slightly farther away from us who was shot while on his front porch, and he did not survive.
I try to comfort myself by hoping that these were not just “random” shootings and that the victims were involved in gangs or drugs or something bad — I know that sounds like victim blaming, but I really just want to feel like my own girls are safe by virtue of being female (most victims of shootings and other street crimes are male and not female, though our society is slanted towards emphasizing dangers to women), and also by virtue of not being involved with gangs or drugs.
Our older daughter is now 15, and has been walking places on her own for the last few years. When she first expressed the same desire that her little sister did, we got a big, protective Lab and let her start taking her for walks, which progressively got longer and longer, and eventually felt comfortable letting her walk places even without the dog.
So maybe that’s the way to help my husband get more comfortable with our 10-year-old striking out on her own — by having her walk the dog.
@Katie-
Maybe she’s afraid this will happen to her on the escalator:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrSUe_m19FY
It’s learned helplessness. Yes, send the beloved child on a journey. They will amaze you with what they are actually capable of doing.
Japan must have a version of CPS – curious to know their guidelines for investigating allegations and what constitutes supported findings of abuse/neglect
About the whole escalator thing, I hate them. I’d rather walk up stairs or take an elevator. My heart skips every time I take that first and last step. I’m 41 yo and even though I’ve been on many escalators, it still happens. I’ve never been able to shake it.
“If you love them, let them go.” Back then, in the sixties we thought of that as Zen.
We were trying to push back against the Western philosophical trend to split every little thing into extremes, polar opposites. We tried to convince our friends and family that Black=White. They were simply different aspects of the same thing. As Kipling said, “There is no East or West, no border or breed or birth.” We are all one. Everything is all one.
Actually, Paul of Tarsus said the same thing 2000 years ago, and Jesus before him, And, then, of course, there was Buddha. Confucius. My personal favorite is the author of the Tao.
Recent statistical research into intelligence has determined that the most intelligent group of people in the world are Asian Females. So no wonder a seven year old Japanese little girl can do everything except manage the household. And that her mother trusts her to solve her own problems. If she gets lost, she figures it out.
She learns by going where she needs to go. Everyone does. Unless Mom or Daddy rushes in to tie the shoes, pack the lunch, and buckle the ten year old into the back seat of the SUV. (And take the science experiment away from the kid before he takes it to school.)
Another aspect of the polarized thinking issue. How early are Asian children exposed to martial arts training, as a philosophy as well as a discipline? It teaches not only self-control and self-defense, but also the unity of the universe, and our place in it. The universe is, as we all know but often forget, space, space, space, which appears hard, but is actually quite pliable when properly respected and addressed. Mind and matter are one…Control thy self…Trust in your ability to function at a superlative level. Then let go.
And for goodness sakes, and their own, let go of your kids.
Thanks for posting this video, Lenore!
I hope you’re post more things like this.
The ‘Australian’ father is British. Which rather ruins this video for me, I must confess. Were the father’s views and actions normal for Australia then? Maybe, given the rubbish from the pedestrian safety guy . But maybe not. Couldn’t they have found an actual Australian family to interview?
The US and Canada are not even close to being carbon copies, of each other. That is pure ignorance. The number of glaring differences are to numerous to even start listing.
lollipoplover,
Thanks for the video. That was pretty funny. But after about 15 seconds I was just like why don’t you just walk up it! Granted DC is the land of the broken escalator so we are pretty used to walking up and down escalators.
Yes the response is fairly typical for Australian parents, even if they are from Lower North Shore and the father possibly from UK.
One major thing that wasn’t discussed (although was sort of touched on by the Pedestrian Council, who I do not like, but they do occasionally find good research) is the differences in vehicle behaviour between the two nations.
I have no qualms walking on most Japanese roads. Many roads are shared cars/pedestrians/bikes. The traffic is calmer. The cars themselves less deadly. We have more aggressive driving in Australia, higher speeds driven, and most importantly, our typical vehicles are more deadly in a pedestrian vs vehicle encounter.
There are also fewer safe crossing places for pedestrians throughout Australia, as well as WAY fewer and less convenient, less reliable, as well as more expensive, public transport links (our relatively sparse population coming into play here)
Susan —
Ask your husband this question: is your daughter at any more risk of random shootings walking by herself to and from school than she would be walking with you? I don’t ask this with any sort of attitude or sarcasm because I’ve lived in those neighborhoods and I understand the worry and frustration you both feel. While I was worried when my kids wanted to start venturing out on their own I had to look at the real statistics and not the ones that over hyped themselves in my head and decide if my son was more likley to be shot accidentally in a drive by shooting if he was alone. Then I realized I am not bulletproof, I am not faster than a speeding bullet and I could not really DO much to prevent it if I were there. That’s actually what started making it easier to let him have more freedom.
Harold Scruby Pedestrian Council Australia
“The evidence is irrefutable that children are not safe to cross roads on their own until their teens.”
I would argue that point
“A lot of people have one thing on their minds and that’s themselves. They don’t care less about anyone else.”
On this point I agree. This is narcissism and it flourishes with bubble wrapped children. Over-protection promotes people to only think about themselves. If they weren’t so overprotected, then they would learn how to engages in the community. Therefore they would be more aware of other people.
@Uly Our city neighborhood still has 5th and 6th grade crossing guards, and lots of kids walk to and from school. So things aren’t so bad everywhere.
My kids started busing everywhere on public transit alone when they were 11 (several years later than Japanese kids!). Many people were really surprised, but many of them also thought it was a great idea.
I was enjoying this post until I saw Warren spewing his inane words. I will not come back to this post.
Need a shower.
Mad as hell and not going to take in any more – Peter Finch.
Even parents that want to give their children more freedom sometimes find themselves unable to do so. There are so many arguments on this blog that make no sense – at least they don’t until you understand where the arguments came from. They came from emotion.
The internationally best selling book, Emotional Intelligence spent over one and a half years on the New York Times Best Selling List. Needless to say, it’s a good book. However the actual title of it is under criticism. That’s because it’s a contradiction in terms. Most neuroscientist agree that emotion has no intelligence!
The intelligence comes from a different part of the brain. To say that intelligence comes from emotion is like saying that the engine in your car is what makes it change gears. The engine supplies the power but the transmission is what makes it change gears. Emotion doesn’t weigh up pros and cons or investigates multiple options and choose the best one. A different part of the brain does that.
Emotion can over-ride logic and often does. In fact it can get out of control. ( and can cripple parents that want to allow their children more freedom )
I point this out on my blog
http://www.onmysoapboxx.com/puppet
My 7 year old just asked me if we could go for a walk, I’m exhausted and his baby sister is already in her PJs. I gave him my cell phone, showed him how to call home and sent him on his way. I told him where he was allowed to go and made a note of what time he left.
At his age, I was already biking “downtown” to buy cigarettes for my aunt… Fingers crossed no one calls the police when they see him walk past their houses…
One thing that really jumped out at me was not just the difference in the Japanese girl getting herself to and from school by herself, but also just how she got herself ready in her own home: getting dressed, brushing her hair & putting it in a ponytail, getting her backpack packed. Then the clip with the Australian girl, they show her dad brushing her hair. At 10, she can’t brush her own hair ?!? And her dad is making sure her apple is in her backpack and that she turned off the lights behind her (which she hadn’t). It wasn’t just about the independence to travel unsupervised, but in a bigger way the independence to take care of herself in every way she was able and having responsibility.
I walked to school at age 7.
1 mile each way.
Even in the pouring rain.
Well, some of the British had servants in days gone by to do hair brushing for them….maybe this father aspires to a more affluent lifestyle than he can currently provide, and simply wants to have his daughter good and ready for it when it arrives?
@Qness: “Ask your husband this question: is your daughter at any more risk of random shootings walking by herself to and from school than she would be walking with you?”
This is a really great point. No, I certainly don’t think my being with her or not being with her affects her risk of a random shooting — but I’m not sure but what it could affect how quickly she got assistance that could be lifesaving. Plus, of course, no mother or father would want their precious child to be all alone when something that awful happened.
I’ve just done a Google search for “What percentage of shooting victims know the shooter?” and found some data from 2009 that says that only slightly more than half of the victims were shot by someone they knew, but I’m not so sure that this means nearly half were victims of random shootings.
Over 3/4 of the victims were male, which does mean that girls and women are quite a bit safer, though. Which makes me kind of wonder about those parents who’ll let their boys roam everywhere on their own while keeping their daughters under lock and key.
https://www2.fbi.gov/ucr/cius2009/offenses/expanded_information/homicide.html
@Stephanie: How did it go with your son’s walk?
We are an American military family stationed in Europe. We lived an hour away from base for 18 months, where I was dismayed to see that the Brits are even worse than Americans when it comes to helicopter parenting. I was once sent a (passive aggressive, per British culture) nasty letter from the school for standing at the gate and watching him walk into his classroom on school grounds instead of WALKING THE LAST 20 YARDS HOLDING HIS HAND. They threatened action against our family, though they did not specify what that might be. My son is 7!
We recently moved to base, and suddenly, he is mature enough to ride his bike, crossing several streets to school and back, completely on his own. If we had stayed in that British village, he would still have to wait another 3 years to be allowed the same privilege!
It was quite striking how inept and immature the Australian 10-year-old seemed compared to the Japanese 7-year-old. I wonder if over-protecting kids really stunts their development that severely, or did the film-maker use unfair tricks to subtly skew things that way? At least judging from the bits of interview with her, she appeared to have disturbingly little sense of agency or even sense of self.
@Crystal: Yes, you’re in Europe, but you are also still in the Anglosphere. I kinda suspect that explains a thing or two, since you can all read each other’s fearmongering news (or “news”).
” (Most likely in a gas guzzling SUV as these are types of people who spoil there special snowflakes to this extent).”
Maybe we don’t need to make quite so many judgemental assumptions with absolutely no evidence?
Finally watched the video. Did anyone else notice what seemed to me vast differences in urban environment these kids (would have to) travel through?
The Japanese girl lives in what looks like a downtown big(ish) walkable (and to a certain extent bikeable) city with public transport, and plenty of people around (eyes on the street). Kids won’t get run over when there’s 20 adults around them also crossing that street. At one point she walked in the middle of the street, which seems to be closed to motorized through-traffic.
Of course in such a situation it’s doable and safe for (very) young kids to travel (even long distances) by themselves, as long as they know where to go. The infrastructure supports getting around without a car, and that levels the playing field for kids, adults, old people, disabled people, etc.
The Australian girl lives in what looks like a more suburbian neighborhood to me, with (far) more sprawl and likely no PT (I think. Someone?), therefore there are fewer destinations within walking distance, therefore there are far fewer pedestrians who can keep an eye on the few kids living within walking distance of anything. I suppose Emily could cycle, but for that she’d have to choose between the road (and share with drivers who probably speed, encouraged by that ocean of asphalt which makes doing so safe for them) or the sidewalk (uncomfortable and possibly unsafe, if it’s even legal in the first place). The infrastructure pretty much only supports getting around in a car, which makes getting around unpleasant if not downright unsafe for non-drivers.
Of course there are also cultural differences at play here, but let’s not ignore the obvious differences in their environment.
“The Australian girl lives in what looks like a more suburbian neighborhood to me, with (far) more sprawl and likely no PT (I think. Someone?), therefore there are fewer destinations within walking distance, therefore there are far fewer pedestrians who can keep an eye on the few kids living within walking distance of anything. I suppose Emily could cycle, but for that she’d have to choose between the road (and share with drivers who probably speed, encouraged by that ocean of asphalt which makes doing so safe for them) or the sidewalk (uncomfortable and possibly unsafe, if it’s even legal in the first place). The infrastructure pretty much only supports getting around in a car, which makes getting around unpleasant if not downright unsafe for non-drivers.”
Well, I was walking by myself (or cycling) about five blocks to a store to buy comic books and bubble gum around the age of seven, This was in a suburb (of Detroit) with no PT and plenty of car traffic. The plaza where the store was sat on the corner of two four-lane highways, although I didn’t have to cross either to get there. I also walked to school but that was only a block away.
When I was almost nine we moved to a small town (5000 people) in Ohio where I walked or biked everywhere, including out of the town itself to a state park and an airstrip. Two two-lane state highways intersected in the center of town. The very day we moved into the town I was sent off on my bike to explore (to stay out of the hair of my parents and the movers who were unloading – my bike came out first!).
When i was in elementary school, i went to one for two and a half years that was within walking distance. At six, i was walking with friends. We had to walk by a really busy street part of the way.
Maybe the kid afraid of taking the escalator was afraid of this (warning, disturbing content):
https://youtu.be/-1q0jtnDQ40
But yes, Japanese children are generally much more independent.
About the 7-year-old Japanese girl being able to comb and fix her own long hair by herself — I think we should keep in mind that Asian hair is probably about the easiest hair in the world to manage. And some Anglo parents may have little girls who love having long hair in spite of having a hair-type that tangles very easily. My own girls like having long hair, but neither was ready to take over complete responsibility for maintaining it at age 7. My older daughter (now 15) did completely take over her own hair-care at age 11. My 10-year-old still wants me to brush and fix her hair for her at this time.
Now, it’s one thing if a little girl’s really longing for short, easy-to-manage hair but the parents want it long and force her to sit through all the brushing and styling. But it’s another thing entirely if the child (girl or boy) wants the long hair but just need some help. Royalty jokes aside, I seriously don’t know ANY adult American women who never figured out how to do their own hair. From my experience with my older daughter, plus my own teen years, I’ll say that once adolescence kicks in, most girls become quite enthusiastic about their appearance and hygiene, carry their brushes or combs with them everywhere, and frequently check on themselves in the mirror to make everything’s just as it should be.
Also, I think it’s important to keep in mind that even as we admire those aspects of other cultures that we can learn from, we should look at their culture, and our own culture, as a whole and recognize that our own culture has some very positive aspects that others cultures may lack. Japan’s high suicide rate, including among young people, is concerning. And no, I don’t think it’s caused by the free-range lifestyle per se, but could the high academic pressure combined with the children getting to spend tons of time on their own result in a situation where some parents miss the signs that their children are very depressed or upset?
“Special snowflakes” jokes withstanding — I’m really glad that my own girls express their feelings freely, so I know if they’re feeling down about something and can give them extra attention during those times.
http://www.ibtimes.com/japan-school-children-suicides-after-vacation-many-young-students-kill-themselves-2059931
“I’ve just done a Google search for “What percentage of shooting victims know the shooter?” and found some data from 2009 that says that only slightly more than half of the victims were shot by someone they knew, but I’m not so sure that this means nearly half were victims of random shootings.”
Truly random shootings are very rare. Kids being the victim of a random shooting is extremely rare. Even if you live in a high crime area with lots of gang violence, the odds of your child innocently getting shot on the way to and from school are extremely low. In less dangerous neighborhoods, that risk is virtually nonexistent.
The vast majority of stranger shootings are the result of some other crime going bad. Illegal sales deals (predominantly drugs, but could also be guns and various other stolen merchandise) and business robberies are the most common. Unless your 10 year old is doing or dealing drugs or working at the local convenience store, she is really pretty safe. There may be a slight chance to YOU of being shot during an attempted mugging, but younger children don’t really make good robbery targets as they tend not to have anything worth stealing. And even criminals tend to have a protective view of younger children.
I also note the complete inconsistently in your husband’s stance. Apparently, your 15 year old is allowed to go places and yet every local incidence of violence you mentioned – which was only two so not exactly a major crime spree – involved a TEEN, not a little kid. Unless there are a slew of 10 year olds being shot in your neighborhood that you just failed to mention, the response of it being too dangerous for her walk to school, but perfectly safe for the teen, makes absolutely no sense.
Donna, I agree with you that this does seem inconsistent. I guess the difference is that we’ve already made that gradual transition with our older daughter — plus they are really different personalities. My younger daughter is much more like me in terms of saying hi and being friendly with complete strangers. And even though my friendliness has never led to me being the victim of a violent crime in all my 51 years (roughly 18 years of which have been spent in this inner-city neighborhood) both my husband and older daughter perceive me as somewhat naïve.
Our 10-year-old loves talking to everyone — old, young, whoever. While we’re walking to school, she’s gotten into the habit of crossing over to the other side at a corner where lots of people are waiting at the bus stop. She got interested the first time when she went over to pet a dog belonging to a man in a wheelchair — but now even if they’re not out there, she likes to cross over to say good morning to all the other people.
Whenever our older daughter rides the city bus, which she doesn’t like to do, she prefers keeping her headset on and immersing herself in her music so that if anyone tries to make conversation with her, they’ll soon realize she can’t hear them and just give up. In a way, it’s understandable of course, as an extremely tall (5’9 1/2″) pretty young woman with long strawberry-blonde hair does stand out and some men mistake her for being an adult.
In contrast, our 10-year-old and I really enjoy ourselves whenever we get to ride the bus. We were without a car for a few months the summer before last, and while I admit that raising a family takes a lot more work without a car in our Midwestern city (which is very spread out, and therefore doesn’t have the dense population required to finance a really efficient public transit system), there’s a part of me that really misses the bus rides. Kind of like I still miss seeing all the regulars on Saturday mornings at the Laundromat, while naturally appreciating the convenience of my washer and drier in the basement.
“Apparently, your 15 year old is allowed to go places and yet every local incidence of violence you mentioned — which was only two so not exactly a major crime spree — involved a TEEN, not a little kid.”
I was thinking this too. Not that it’s likely, either, but I suspect stranger abduction and rape of a 15 or 16-year-old girl is actually far more likely than stranger abduction of a young child. There was a horrible case like that in my hometown when I was in high school – but nobody started saying 16-year-olds must be under adult supervision at all times, because that’s obviously ridiculous and impossible.
I kept my daughter’s hair short (*cute* short, she always looked nice), no matter how much she begged for long hair, until she was old enough to take care of it on her own. When she was, she grew it out (note: it wasn’t at the age of 7!). I think she still kind of resents me for that, but I worked outside the home, and no way was I going to spend every morning brushing, braiding, pony-tailing, etc. not to mention deciding ‘what hairstyle will we have today”!!
I keep thinking about the three years I lived in Japan. It is overall, clean & hospitable. I was there from age 13 to 16 and I felt the parental gaze of their culture and it did seem safe. I also was very comfortable with their public transport. It was very clean and easy to navigate – I daresay I was more confident about correcting my destination there as a teen than I would be in most American metropolitan public transit systems.
This speaks to systemic changes we should create – we can shape our communities rather than restrict our youths. This is why I love safe route to school programs. Kids should be able to be out, we should be providing them with a safe space beyond the home. Not just keep them home and under watchful supervision at all times.
Hi Beth, I understand and respect that everyone does it differently. I was just responding to some of the folks who seemed rather negative about parents combing their 10-year-olds’ hair for them. There’s room for different approaches in different families, and tolerance for this is something that all Free Range Parents should be advocating for.
I have probably mentioned it before, but I feel that one huge contributory factor to the danger of children walking (mainly crossing roads) is that drivers these days have never been pedestrians. Ever. New drivers come from a generation who were driven to school.
And we’re starting to see the impact of that lack of awareness now.
(Not only that, but children who never walk anywhere have less concept of how quickly cars move compared to pedestrians, so when they ARE out walking, their judgement hasn’t been honed by years of being out and about in the neighbourhood.)
In response to Papilio’s question, the Australian child comes from a heavily populated but affluent area of Sydney. Her school is about 150m from the main arterial road along with many, many bus routes run. (That said, I don’t know where she actually lives – Sydney students don’t always go to their local school, because, you know, it might be a few points behind on standardised testing…)
Earlier this year, my 12yo daughter decided to come and visit me at work (I’m a teacher) on the last day of term. We looked at bus routes together, and worked out how she would get there. She arrived about an hour later than expected. Turned out she had caught the wrong bus, and ended up at the complete opposite end of the suburb. No problem, she went into the nearest school, asked for help, and was given a photocopied map, and directions for which bus to catch. She arrived completely untraumatised!!!
My Australian children are more like the little Japanese girl. Get dressed by yourself, pack your own bag (I do have to issue reminders, as one of my 6yos has ADHD and would forget his head if it wasn’t screwed on!), do your own hair etc. If they don’t do their hair, they go to school with messy hair. (I like the way the little Japanese girl’s ponytail was all wonky! That’s my kids’ style. Compared to my students, who all seem to turn up with perfectly braided hair complete with perfect little bows.)
@Abigail: “we can shape our communities rather than restrict our youths. This is why I love safe route to school programs. Kids should be able to be out, we should be providing them with a safe space beyond the home.”
YES! Thank you.
@JLM: Thanks to you too. So I guess she could take the bus as well, or perhaps rather instead of cycling, since cycling with buses is ehm, best avoided. (Seriously. Those things are scary.)
@JLM
“(Not only that, but children who never walk anywhere have less concept of how quickly cars move compared to pedestrians, so when they ARE out walking, their judgement hasn’t been honed by years of being out and about in the neighbourhood.)”
Damn good point, probably one missed by that Pedestrian Council Australia guy who had “irrefutable evidence” that preteens couldn’t safely cross roads.
Well, here’s a lovely update to my husband’s and my dispute about allowing our 10-year-old to walk to and from school on her own. After commenting to my husband that maybe we should ease her into this by doing what we did for our older daughter, and let her start out by walking the dog for gradually longer distances, I decided to drop the issue and on Sunday afternoon, just asked her if she’d like to take the dog for a walk.
She was enthused, and we agreed that she could go all the way up and down the block. Dh was adamant that one of us needed to be out there watching, so I agreed to sit out on the front porch as she made about three trips up and back. Dh came out to watch her, too, towards the end.
Then this morning when I came down on my break to walk with her to school, he said he’d told her to walk a little way ahead of me and see if she could remember exactly how to get to school, and of course she did just fine. So when I meet her at school today, I’m going to check with the teacher to see whether I need to send some sort of signed statement for them to let her leave to walk home on her own. I do know that one of her classmates rides her bike independently to and from school, so it’s allowed; I just want her to be allowed to leave.
I’m not sure If anyone’s still reading the comments on this post, but I thought I’d send another update. On the day when I made that last post above, I went up to meet my 10-year-old after school and checked with her teacher, who said that I didn’t need to sign anything and it was fine for her to just go on her own. Dd said she was ready to walk on her own right then, so we said bye and she headed home, while I did a little extra walking in another direction for a few minutes, and then headed home myself.
Everything has gone just great. She’s walked to and from school on her own for the past two days now (well, as of this afternoon it’ll be a full two days). She leaves about 15 minutes before we used to be able to leave when she had to wait for me to go on break, which means she has time for the entire morning mixer in the gym — they play popular music and the kids exercise and stuff. So now, in addition to a total of about 30 minutes of walking every day, she also gets to exercise at the morning mixer daily, in addition to her recess and P.E. activities. It’s great!
Oh, and now she gets to have occasional practice in dealing with crossing the one busy street she has to cross on her own. There’s normally a crossing guard, but occasionally there isn’t, such as this morning when she (the crossing guard) was late for work. Dd, of course, knows all about pushing the button and waiting for the walk signal, as well as, of course, paying attention to what the cars are doing.
not sure what to put in the website field. Just found this blog! Awesome! I so so so agree with the whole ‘free range’ concept! What a concept! Today it has to be a concept but when I was growing up it was ‘life’:)
It does seem like the Japanese girl has a pretty efficient route to take, with the train system and a walk through an interesting busy downtown area. The Australian girl looks like she lives way out in the suburbs and would have to walk for long boring stretches and probably wait for quite some time at some city bus stop. I don’t know if Australia has public school buses like we do here in America which makes it pretty easy for kids to get themselves to school?